Pattaya and the real story of bargirls
(Editorial credit: Nelson Antoine / Shutterstock.com)
Many men in the city are connoisseurs when it comes to bargirls. They know exactly what these girls think, do and why. As a reporter, not being an expert and having grown up in this region, I felt ignorant and therefore decided to talk to the girls directly. One could argue, "Someone who grew up here should know more about bargirls than an outsider." But the reality is that bars attract little interest from locals who have lived here since a young age.
I, a Thai who has lived here since I was four and whose native language is Thai, organized the following conversation in both Central Thai and Isan dialects. I had the chance to speak to five barmaids at a bar in Pattaya, named Eh, Toi, Taen, Su and Tor, who asked not to take photos.
JP: My first question is of course: 'Why did you come to work here?'
Taen: The first answer is of course: 'Because I heard the money was good.'
All: General agreement.
JP: Is that so?
Su: Sometimes. It varies. It depends on tourism and how many customers there are.
Eh: It was better when the US Navy came in, but not anymore.
Toi: Yes, they are all afraid of AIDS now, and recently of the coronavirus.
JP: So if you're not making enough, why do you keep doing this?
Tor: We can't find work anywhere else.
JP: Are you sure about that?
Taen: Look, you! Sorry. But where do you think we can work? I only have primary school. To get a good job you have to have an education… oh, I don't know. But no one wants us. We are already 'out of date' at around 25 years.
JP: The Thai bars seem to be doing business normally. Can't you find work there?
Toi: Thai bars don't want us. Thai men don't like girls like us.
JP: I don't understand that.
Taen: Oh come on. Okay, I'll explain. I applied for a job at a Thai club. They said I didn't have the right 'personality'. That means I didn't look good enough.
Su: Thai men like women with lighter skin and a different body type than us. We are too dark and thin.
JP: Are Thai bars better than bars for foreigners?
Tor: In many ways, yes. Thai men go to bars with one goal: to enjoy themselves.
JP: And what about the foreign men?
Taen: Oy, yo, yo! Foreign men. What neurotic and boring people! They get drunk and we have to listen to their endless problems for hours. I don't speak English very well, so who knows what they are talking about. I'm not their mother. I just want to work and move on to the next client.
Everyone: Taen is right. It really is.
Toi: And they all say that we are more beautiful than Western women. Ha!
Su: We know that's not true. We see plenty of beautiful western women here in Pattaya.
Eh: I haven't said anything yet. Let me speak! They say we are more beautiful than western women. But I think the real reason is that these men themselves are not attractive enough to attract women of their own kind. I wouldn't want most of them as partners.
JP: But I've seen a lot of bar staff marry foreign men.
Taen: You like to play the silly neck. When we get older and meet someone who is more or less decent and responsible, we marry him. It's about safety, not romantic love.
JP: Who would you like to marry?
Eh: A friendly Thai man, maybe a civil servant.
Everyone: Going well. Dream On. Are you crazy?
JP: Huh?
Su: Many Thai men are indeed charming, sweet and handsome. But they are not responsible enough regarding family obligations.
Toi: The best would be to have a foreign husband and a Thai lover (laughter all round).
Taen: Don't say that! We look for what every woman looks for in a man. Someone who is good, loves and cares for his family and is quite stable.
Eh: I never thought about getting married. I always wanted to be a doctor, but my family was poor and I could not continue my studies.
JP: Oh?
Taen: Gosh! You are just like everyone else! Foreign men never believe our truth, but swallow all our lies. Listen, do you think that because we are poor and from the countryside, we don't have dreams? Do you think as a little girl I thought, 'Oh great! When I grow up, I can go to Pattaya and sell myself to dirty old men?'
Su: Taen, let him. He doesn't look down on us. He just wants to understand.
Taen: Sorry, I just stepped on my toes and got angry quickly. Just like you, we all want a good education. Everyone thinks this is easy money. Bah! But if you are poor with many brothers and sisters and everyone is constantly hungry, you will do anything to survive. By the time we discover possibilities, it is usually too late. We are no longer accepted by mainstream society. Everyone looks down on us. I had always wanted to write children's stories, but now I don't have the heart for it anymore.
Everyone: Taen, Taen. Don't be so sad. Come on, everything will be fine.
JP: Well, thank you for your honesty. I will publish the story as it is.
Everyone: Please do that. Tell everyone that we are not bad, but life has forced us to go this way.
This conversation provides a rare insight into the thoughts and feelings of Pattaya's bargirls. The girls who populate this world are not nameless, faceless objects of desire; they are people with dreams, frustrations, disappointments and, above all, hopes.
Translated by Farang Kee Nok – Source: Pattaya Mail (2020)
Quote: “Eh: It was better when the US Navy came in, but not anymore.”.
Article is dated 2020…
Very funny.
The US had a military presence in (South) Vietnam from 1957 to April 1975. Then they had to walk away.
It sounds like the girls interviewed were already spreading their legs in, say, Pattaya before April 1975.
From 1975 to 2020 is just 45 years! I don't see any barlady making that time jump.
By the way, the US could use most of the Thai military airfields. There would also have been quite a bit of activity available for the girls there in addition to Pattaya. I just mention Nakhon Phanom, Ubon Ratchathani… Older readers will know more.
If we assume that the girls were 20 years old at the time, they are now 68 years old.
I can understand why they no longer get to work, even with elderly falangal people who forget to wash in the morning due to the onset of dementia.
Because they should all be over 80 by now.
But I don't want to be the bad guy. There are some quite funny and educational statements in the contribution.
On top, in addition:
– Foreign men never believe our truth, but swallow all our lies.
– A foreign husband plus a Thai lover. It still exists, especially among very young women who are still in the process of pursuing a PhD.
– 'Foreign men are neurotics. I'm not their mother.' Beats. I have seen many people with depression. Just go through life with someone like that. I myself suffered from depression for five years (in Belgium), and two relationships broke down. Justifiably! I was impossible.
– Most falang do not want a woman but a nurse, who can also cook, clean and preferably perform manual duties in between.
What are you doing with such a guy on pills, always negative, complaining, victim role and usually drunk from morning to evening.
I add:
- Look after! I regularly see beautiful young women (25-30 years old), beautifully groomed, all over Thailand pushing a wheelchair with an 80+ man in it. They are all smiles. I think that's chic! And respectful. Where else can you find that in the free democratic Western world?
– For 1000 eu per month and an open savings account of 20 eu, reserved through a notary, ready for her after your death, you will certainly find your lucky number. A young woman who won't cheat on you. Her time will come when she's 000, you're dead, and she has a nice penny in hand. Then she does what she wants.
Everyone satisfied.
Michel Houellebecq explained in detail 20 years ago in his novel Platform that Western women are far too complicated and egocentric to start a love-cum-sex relationship with. Thai women are uncomplicated and live more in the moment. Mindfulness.
He always characterizes this kind of thing, Thai sex tourism, as 'economy'. Men want something, Thai women have it. Only the game of supply and demand plays a role.
In the meantime, we must add that Western sex tourism has seriously declined. Women's organizations, among others. who would act better in Afghanistan. The upcoming generation of Thai young ladies no longer participate because of higher education and a better job than their mothers.
But the gray foxes of the baby boom generation are also gradually coming to an end. Finito gli falang…
And the whole world is full of brothels, with Amsterdam in the lead!
Why the stigmatization of Thailand and Thai women?
Half of Eastern Europe is spreading its legs in Western Europe... Who's hipping about it?
But don't be under any illusions: the Chinese and Muslim world are ready to take over the torch in Thailand with full purses.
Unfortunately not to the benefit of the Thai women because it is hardly respectful.
In the recent past, American warships regularly came to Sattahip, for example during joint exercises. And then they went out in Pattaya.
Indeed.
Cobra gold is about the best known I think.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cobra_Gold
https://www.militarytimes.com/news/your-military/2023/02/28/thailand-us-resume-cobra-gold-exercises-at-full-scale/
But in the past you have seen American Navy ships moored off Pattaya. They then went out in Pattaya via the so-called holiday sloops. You also saw their MP walking around Pattaya and that was necessary.
I don't know if they still anchor there now.
In the past, up until 1990, I have often seen Americans moored, the entire city was in turmoil, and a lot of money was being made.
Even in the Philippines, since the closure of the naval base in Olangapo around 91, the trade was completely over.
They then also came to anchor off Pattaya.
Were usually part of the US. Seventh Fleet.
Still come close every now and then.
https://www.benarnews.org/english/news/thai/us-aircraft-carrier-thailand-scs-04242023100225.html
Hello Farang Kee Nok,
I thought it was a good reflection and, in my opinion, also a credible one.
Actually I just read as I experienced it during my visits to the bars in Thailand.
Ordinary people with the same dreams as us “the farang” but only with less perspective.
I think it's well done Kee, thanks.
Gr.Rick.
But I think the real reason is that these men themselves are not attractive enough to attract women of their own kind. I wouldn't want most of them as partners.
I agree with them 100% on that.
When I look around I often ask myself the question: How did Farang get his wife? Men with a beer barrel, disgusting language, a worn-out Marcelleke as their main item of clothing... well, I have a problem with that. They only come here looking for a young ignorant lady, but otherwise they have no sense of standards whatsoever.
I read here a while ago the comment that many farang from the lower social class to originate. I'm starting to believe this might be the truth. The sad thing about that is that there is always a Thai lady who thinks she will find happiness with them. The harsh reality is usually slightly different.
Such scum usually hangs out in and around the nightlife. Enjoy drinking, cheating, telling cool stories with people of the same kind, only to discover again and again at the end of the month that their meager pension has been completely used up.
Yes, I feel sorry for the ladies who have such a husband. Fortunately, there are others too…
This is a nice generalization. Lower social class= scum.
I agree with you that they are not the best examples of the kind that frequents beer bars and similar places as visitors. That is the reason you don't meet me there despite my low income and education. But yes, I did not emigrate to Thailand for sex and the cheap life, but for the good food and warm weather.
I generally agree with the girls' observation, it cannot be otherwise if you think a little and look around. Although it might be wiser for them to play a little less in the role of victim.
Learning to read... I'm not generalizing anywhere.
By the way, that lower social class comment doesn't even come from me but from others on the blog (few weeks ago). I'm just saying that from what I see, there may be some truth in it.
And don't worry, many of those scum come here just for the young girls, drinks and sex. And of course those ladies sit in the front row – they see nothing else.
And in my comment I close neatly with... fortunately there are others too. Hopefully you read that 😉
Beautifully expressed French. Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth in your response.
Besides, I don't think all that scum you're talking about is happy. And to make matters worse, their possible wives are not really happy with their existence either. The ladies clearly show this in this report.
I live far away from the busy tourist places and I am happy about that. The few times I've been to Pattaya (and a few times to Phuket), I've seen plenty.
I don't need Farang friends. I am happy with my wife, quietly enjoying what life has to offer. All that fuss is not for me.