Question of the week: Is Thailand your “home”?
In his weekly column, Stickman Bangkok wrote about the theme “Home is home”. He explains how and why he once came to Thailand. He tried in all kinds of ways to become “established” and finally came to the conclusion that “Home is home and Thailand isn't.
If you want to read the column, here is the link: www.stickmanbangkok.com/StickmanWeeklyColumn2015/Thailand-expats.htm
Actually quite a nice question whether the Dutch and Belgians who now live (more or less) permanently in Thailand now consider the country their “home”. At least that's not the case for me. Oh, make no mistake, I've lived here for almost 12 years now and I'm extremely happy with the decision I once made to move to Thailand. I am retired, have a lovely wife, beautiful son and a beautiful house and I enjoy every day. But Thailand is not my “home”
Home for me is the Netherlands and specifically the place where I was born and raised. You are most formed in those young years and the impressions I gained then are immovable in my memory. I remember so much about the family I grew up in, the schools, the friends, the environment and much more. Those are my roots of existence.
The later residence in the Netherlands and also now Thailand have brought me a lot of happiness and pleasure, but the memories will always remain vague.
Do I not have a home in Thailand? Certainly, not the country is my home, but the house in which I live with my family. That's home, my own palace!
Would you like to know what other Dutch and Belgian residents think about this?
Visiting Thailand since 1971, first years as an airline crew, then until 2010 as a “tourist”, maximum 3 weeks..!
In 2011 I stayed here for about 6 months straight.. and ever since.! I look at Thailand a bit differently... I became an active road user, had Thai neighbors, bought an apartment here, had to
negotiating with government agencies, and other such normal pursuits.
I then decided quite quickly for myself, and also to remain a “Thailand lover” above all!! , (I speak for myself…!!) to stay here in Thailand for 3 months, 3 to 4 months to my familiar living environment in the Netherlands. , where I was born and raised!! and then a maximum of 3 months return!
The Best of Two Worlds……!!!!
I realize that I am in pleasant circumstances, that I can afford this.!
carl.
For me, Thailand is more home than home ever was.
Possibly also caused by several moves in my youth.
In seven years I have now been on holiday in Thailand more than 15 times. So I am not a (semi) permanent resident and I never got further than Phuket, Bangkok and mainly Pattaya.
Yet I always feel more homesick for my places in Thailand than for any place in the Netherlands.
It seems to me that if you never got further than Phuket, Bangkok and Pattaya, you can't really say that you know Thailand well.
At the risk of being accused of chatting, I would like to point out that I do not claim that at all.
But I know Pattaya like the back of my hand.
Which Dutch person really knows the Netherlands and which Thai really knows Thailand. This topographically.
I go Thailand 2-3 times a year, but whether I really REALLY get to know Thailand well, no not.
How many Dutch people have never been to Delfzijl. How many Thai people have never been to Phuket. Don't start on the financial issue now. How many Dutch people living in Thailand have never been to Phuket, Hua Hin or any other place?
I know many retirees who are stuck in Jomtien or Pattaya. What do they do from pub to pub. Bad course etc etc.
Many Dutch people do not even know their backyard. Whether you agree with me or not Mr. Sindram, this is my conviction.
You all go well anyway and make something of it in any way you can.
The question was not whether you know Thailand well, but whether you consider it your home. Two different things I think...
Dear French Amsterdam,
Bangkok is a world city, where even as a European you will not miss anything, and apart from the temperature and a few other little things, nothing is different from London, Paris, New York, etc. Pattaya is also a city that has been shaped by people of different nationalities and cultures, which actually has nothing to do with the original Thailand. There are two types of Thailand, where tourists stay and are offered a show every day, which, especially in Pattaya, is no different than a commercial fantasy world and has nothing to do with the real Thailand where almost exclusively Thais live. Therefore, when asking the question "Does someone feel at home?", a clear difference should be made between someone who lives as an expat in a kind of Hollywood, and those expats who live permanently in a village where real Thai life takes place. You can be sure that you will be less homesick for these places.
I have only been living permanently in Thailand for a little over 9 months. In a rented house, not worthy of the name, we patiently wait for the construction work on our own home to be completed. Living together with a woman you love so much is the only good basis for me to feel at home somewhere. We lived together in Belgium for 4 years and made the transition (moving) to Thailand because at my death my wife's future has better prospects in her home country than in my home country.
I must also confess that I have few ties with the place of my origin. In other words, I easily feel at home anywhere.
Thailand is and will never be heavy enough to bind me to it.
We are happy here together from day one and that should not be more (less).
I have lived in Thailand for more than 7 years and it depends for some it is their home who have nothing left in Belgium or the Netherlands. Family or friends. I still have family in the Netherlands, but I don't think I would feel at home to live there. to live here for more than 7 years
At miin 20 I started sailing at the KPM and KJCPL. Sailed at the clubs for almost 20 years, and fell in love with Asia. After that I continued sailing with other Me. Both my wife (Dutch) and myself missed SE Asia at the time. Since I went ashore as Superintendent to work in Groningen and in
1999 in Italy, went on holiday to Thailand every year. My wife died in May 2010, I myself retired (67 years old) in June. I then went to live in Thailand at the end of 2010. I was able to sell my house in Holland in 2013. Haven't been back since then. I miss the Netherlands like a toothache. I live here happily with my Thai boyfriend
I never felt at home in the Netherlands and I left the Netherlands because life there is too expensive and because of too many rules and discrimination
Here in Thailand people live much more freely, cheaper and less rules
Ah, dear people, wherever you live, you always take your own backpack with you. Sometimes it's time to open the zipper at the bottom of the backpack and give it room to refill the backpack. We have been living in Thailand (near Chiang Mai) for over 7 years now, back to the Netherlands, no, never, ever.
Well no I haven't at all. I've lived here for about twelve years now, the first years in Bangkok and now in Chiang Mai. Most of that period I live alone and feel very happy. I definitely don't feel the Netherlands as “Home”, on the contrary I would almost say. So I don't come there often.
I do go to Europe once a year, usually in the Mediterranean area and I feel just as at home there as I feel in Thailand. I also travel a lot in Southeast Asia, and I sometimes say, my body is the place where I feel at home, easy because I always take it with me wherever I go.
You are welcome with me when you are in Spain.
I go to Thailand about 7 months a year and am with my girlfriend in the mountains near Nam noa . Every time I come back it feels like I'm coming home.
I still commute between Thailand and Singapore. I can appreciate certain things in both places, but I am not 100 percent at home in either. I would like to come back to Belgium, but I am no longer at home there either. Or better yet: not alone at home anymore. Since I lived in the US for 6 years, I have been a European through and through. I enjoy visiting Barcelona and Milan as much as Hamburg and Ghent. If I ever leave Thailand, I doubt whether I will come back to Belgium. If I could choose a village: Ponte de Lima or Monteisola. If it has to be a city, then without a doubt Hamburg. But for the moment, takhli is a breath of fresh air next to Singapore. My wife, dog, cat live here, here I can work in the garden, paint. This is where my books and CDs are. Here I am working on a photo catalog of wats in the region and of beautiful birds, snakes, lizards, but also of the youth in the café. And all that makes Takhli a home
I've been to Singapore twice and I can tell you, I felt good. Beautiful city, clean, minimal crime, friendly people and have not felt any discrimination. Could be my home port.
Been living permanently in Thailand for almost 4 years now.
Have a lot of criticism of the country and the Thai.
Never gonna feel at home here.
Why I still want to live here is often a mystery to me.
Can write a long story on this question. But this is the short summary of it.
Most of the previous comments are people who don't actually live here.
I think Gringo means more with his question of the week. Are you happy where you are with
your Thai lover or family lives. Certainly not for 3 or 6 months, but the whole year.
Expats who came to Thailand and left everything behind and actually have no way back
to have. For myself, I can honestly admit that I am happy here with my wife and family.
The Netherlands remains my country. Once every 2 years I always go on holiday with my wife
Netherlands, It's great to meet friends and family of the few that are left.
My beautiful country where everything is so beautifully clean and you can drive on the road without feeling stressed. The weather and the financial benefits were ultimately important to me...
After more than 10 years of Thailand, those financial benefits are also gone. Only the weather remains.
When you're 71 you just have to deal with it. You must serve your time, There is no turning back.
Cor van Kampen.
Reason for me (67 yrs) not to burn ships behind me. It also applies to me, no financial benefits, but the sun is abundantly available ..., in Spain where we stay most of the time. And we can be on Dutch soil at any time within 2,5 hours for a reasonable price. In addition, my children can easily come over for a week or more. I will therefore never move 100 percent, not to Spain and not to Thailand or anywhere else. I believe I chose the best of both “worlds” with a woman from my third world, Thailand.
maybe a person will feel displaced?
no longer feel at home anywhere.
After staying outside the Netherlands for 28 years now, I feel like I'm in a foreign country when I spend a few weeks there every year to visit children, family and friends. I appreciate continuing to maintain those contacts, but otherwise I have nothing to do with the Netherlands and therefore I don't feel at home there. I hear from many people who do live there that it has not become any nicer in recent years.
After more than ten years I still enjoy my stay in Thailand. I see it positively as a country on the rise with a future where things can only get better. I experience it as a positive thing that there are so many young people who live around me, unlike the Netherlands, which is aging, becoming gloomy and impoverished. Living in the heart of Bangkok, I think it's great to see how a city like Bangkok continues to develop positively in my opinion with many beautiful new buildings. new infrastructure etc. Of course I also see problems and I sometimes have problems myself because I don't really master the language, but overall it has really become my home.
Completely agree with Stickman..
Yes nice question.
For me, after living in NL for over 50 years and now 6 years here, I have the feeling that I was born in the wrong country.
Yes of course, memories of nl. And some nice pieces of land and places. Children there and some good friends.
But don't lose sleep over it, let alone homesick.
On the second day when I came here for the first time, April 2009, 43 degrees, and visited WAT Pho in Bangkok, I met a monk, then already 91 years old.
He had been to Amsterdam several times 'professionally'.
We spent an hour on the steps of the WAT talking.
After an hour the man knew more about me than many acquaintances.
At the end he gave me a small bronze budah. Free. He says: 'Sir you are a Thai'
In thinking yes. AND…by chance I saw my family tree, and saw that my roots are in Kralingen (near Rotterdam), AND…… that far away…my great-great-grandfather's mother was a…Thai.
Yes this is my HOME, in every way. Happy with family, every day!
Of course I also see things that are not ok, and other views and interests of the young generation.
My wife is a high school teacher, so you hear and see a lot about this.
But the basic life, which is standard here, in doing and thinking makes a person happy.
ALL other things are in service to, or subservient to, it.
A country with rules as the MAIN MATTER, creates a dissatisfied population and as a society is doomed to fail.
THAT is the main reason why for me this is my HOME.
A very happy person with his family in the Isaan.
KhunBram.
Thailand is my second home. The Netherlands will always be the first home. After all, according to my passport I am a Dutchman and I cannot become a Thai even if I wanted to, because the Thais simply do not want that.
I speak Thai but of course not as a Thai. I do not yet receive a state pension, but I pay a premium in the Netherlands for those who receive it now. For example, I will soon receive state pension from the Dutch people who will then be working. The Thais are not going to give that to me. If I have a conflict in Thailand then I am wrong in advance, because I am not Thai and therefore cannot be right and certainly not be.
So I don't feel at home in Thailand, but I still like coming there. Rather than in many other countries. I feel like a welcome guest here and am usually treated that way, as long as I stay out of trouble, which has worked out pretty well so far.
It is tempting to say 'home is where the heart is', then it could regularly be Thailand, but home is usually where your cradle has been.
Before I moved to Thailand - now almost 14 years ago - I had known the country for 9 years and had holidays in Northeast Thailand, the middle and the south. I weighed the pros and cons of living in the Netherlands against the pros and cons of living in Thailand. The balance tipped in favor of Thailand . The first 3½ years I had to adjust my ideas about Thailand. Some things I had estimated too positively.
But after 14 years I wouldn't want to go back to the Netherlands, at most for a few weeks a year to visit family and friends. But slowly people drop out, so that the desire to go diminishes.
I feel happy here with my family in a village between Cha-Am and Hua Hin.
Feeling at home somewhere is not inextricably linked to living somewhere. I go on vacation to Thailand two or three times a year and every time I land on Suvarnabhumi I feel like I'm back on familiar ground; kind of like coming home for me. Then when I get off the bus in Pattaya on Sukhumvit Rd, or enter the square in front of CS Pattani in Pattani, I no longer suffer from tension because I don't know what to expect, but I feel safe and secure.
But nevertheless I will always remain a farang, and I will announce to the first person who asks that I am from 'Holland'. I'm not ashamed of that at all!
There is a huge difference between an expat who is surrounded by farangs every day, such as in Bangkok,Pattaya,or in Phuket, or an expat who lives alone in a village among the Thai population.
If someone is honest, he must admit that Pattaya, for example, has little to do with Thailand, and the same can also be found in parts of Phuket. If you now move a farang from these tourist places to a village in, for example, Isaan, where he comes into contact with the unvarnished Thai life every day, the response to the question whether he calls this home is often different. Even if you speak Thai, you quickly discover that most conversations with the villagers are very superficial, and I can imagine that these conversations do not contribute to a feeling of home in the long run. The different way of thinking and living, which I certainly do not want to condemn here, also requires a lot of adaptability from someone who comes from a different culture, while someone who sees little does not ask anything and is certainly a lover of Thai Whiskey. is to advantage. I love Thailand and its people, but in the long run I miss something... that I personally don't find, and that might be called "Home"
I have been coming to Thailand for a short or long time for 20 years….I have been living here permanently since 2012 but will never sell my house in Holland because I still have the feeling that if I ever start to struggle or worse, I will always go 'home' can go where everyone speaks my language, doctors who speak Dutch and where I also have many relatives ..
Of course I am in love with Thailand, the weather, the people, the adventure but it will never be my real 'home' for that I am too much a Dutchman in heart and soul .. I used to shout where my hat hangs there I am at home but that applies only for the Netherlands
Piet
This is an interesting question, one that gives everyone the opportunity to respond from their own point of view.
Yes, Thailand is my home now, I have been in Thailand regularly for 15 years, have been living there permanently for almost 4 years now, have no desire to visit the Netherlands, have what I had at home now here, my partner, a house, garden, car, Gamma is now called Global House, facilities, doctor, dentist, hospital, everything I had at home, I feel fine with that.
Feel at home in my environment and elsewhere in Thailand, communicate easily with the Thai, adapt to my interlocutor, make contact easily, it also depends a lot on yourself whether you give yourself the opportunity to feel at home.
The place where I grew up, I have the best memories of that, they come back now and then, that also gives me a very good feeling, do I feel more at home there than in Thailand?
No, do not experience it that way, when I lived there I felt very much at home there, if I were to live there again I would feel at home there again, but I don't, Thailand is now my home, rather live here Thailand, I am completely satisfied with it.
Don't want to say much against the Netherlands, but I have developed some aversion to it, that fiddling, tinkering in the political field, it doesn't get along, leveling is the motto, no, look at it from a distance and think, I'm glad that I have nothing to do with that anymore.
Nico B
maybe it also has to do with age whether your home is here or in NL?
I've been living in Korat for 2 years now, I'm 55 now, I had a super fun childhood from my 10th to my 20th.
Already drove cars when I was 10, rode mopeds, tinkering with those mopeds was great to do.
Even mischief could go unpunished back then.
It was on Kattendijke where I felt at home, like a fish in water.
After my 20th birthday I didn't feel at home anywhere.
Now I feel at home in Korat, I have started to repeat my youth, not everything is possible here, but a lot is possible, I am tinkering again, riding a moped for a while without a helmet, no problem, also in the car on the main road I can accelerate, pass on a parking ticket to someone else who still has 3 hours of paid parking time on it, fined with 60 euros, that really makes my pants drop!
No, then life here is super fun, I already know, I'm going to die here.
Of course I expected a lot of positive reactions from people who have settled permanently in Thailand. However, I do not understand why so many always criticize the Netherlands, one of the most prosperous countries in the world. Usually come to Thailand in the winter period with pleasure but would not want to live there for anything. Beautiful country? Know the country well from north to south and from east to west, but for me there are many more beautiful countries. Economically good? Do not make me laugh. Yes with a well-filled bank account or a good pension. Many expats who have little to do in the Netherlands feel millionaires and important in Thailand. The average Thai does not have it easy. Social? Take a good look around you and you will come to a conclusion, if you want to take off the colored glasses. Thailand still has a very long way to go before it can even approach the maligned Netherlands in the social and economic field.
The economy in Thailand and Asia as a whole is developing more strongly. The EU will be a chaos within the next 10 years. Asia is growing Europe is shrinking.
As for sociality. then you have been elsewhere. I have been coming to Thailand for years. The Thai population is much more respectful towards each other than we Dutch people. The Thai knows no complaints or worries… The Thai are more likely to be shocked by what is happening to us than to accept it. No Thailand is my home, let me say it all over Asia I feel good. The Netherlands and Europe.. it is not anymore! No more Holland for me!
After living in the Netherlands for more than 50 years, I left for Thailand four years ago. I live with my Thai wife in Bangkok. I don't miss the Netherlands at all, if I go to the Netherlands once a year for 2 weeks, I am happy that I can go back again. to Bangkok, the same applies if we go to China or Hong Kong for a short period of time on business then I am happy to be back in Bangkok
You said it well Bram, then the Netherlands is only “small”, I also have very good and pleasant experiences with “de Isaan” and even getting married next year. I will never become a Thai, but that is not necessary, respect and understanding for each other is what it is all about and fortunately that is the basis.
I have been living in Thailand since 2012. Before that I used to come here very often, because of my profession. I felt at home everywhere, because I almost always stayed in the same hotels. This gave a good feeling, because you had a place that you knew.
I had colleagues who “dropped out” of the places they flew to. I tried to fly to the same places as often as possible. So I saw less different places, but before that I knew the places I visited better.
Now that I'm here in Thailand, I haven't seen an airplane inside for almost two years. And I don't miss it. I still see Thailand as a nice backdrop and where I can get almost everything I need. I feel at home in our house between the pineapple fields. But when I go to a city like Hua Hin, where many foreigners come, I start to feel suffocated and I want to leave. Although I like to talk to other foreigners from time to time, I want to have as little to do with them as possible.
I could feel just as “at home” in Japan as I do here in Thailand. You simply cannot split up and you need a center where you can leave your things. That has now become Thailand.
I am not naturalized and do not wish to be. But I feel good here and better at my place than I would find it in the Netherlands.
I completely agree with Gringo: the house, the family (in this case my girlfriend and I) is our center and our home)..
Home is the place/house where your heart lies. That could be anywhere. For me that is not the place / home where I was born and raised. Not even where my family or friends live. That is the place/house where I feel happy and happy. That is the place/house where I like to go again, even if I have made my annual trip to Thailand. And if I can share that place / home with my family, then I am doubly happy and I feel doubly at home, so to speak. For me that is under the Spanish sun. East West home is best.
The Netherlands remains my home. Thailand is nice to live. But the government treated the farang as a foreigner. Which will always be the case. That is not the case in the Netherlands. They are always busy with the visa issues. They make a profit there. the only thing here that it is warm and you can sit outside.but it is too hot 8 months out of 1 year. And the country itself is 1 disorganized chaos.. So for a few months a year it is nice.you can warm yourself against the cold but not against the heat. And the mosquitoes are a huge problem. Which always gets the attention..
Joseph you are absolutely right. In everything. If you take off your glasses. And when you look around, you see exactly what you say. It's a shame that the country is divided into the elite and the poor. There isn't even decent drinking water coming out of the tap. All waste is burned here. There is no infrastructure here. Many foreigners are amazed every day. In the way people live in Thailand. Air pollution is huge in many cities. The Netherlands will always remain my home. So back to the Netherlands in due time. There are already many farangs who are now going back because they have too little to live in Thailand... I vm With the too high bath
As a digital nomad, the concept of home doesn't hold much value to me. I like to travel and explore. I prefer to see my accommodation as a springboard to the unknown. And as far as I'm concerned I just moved from the Northwestern part to the Southeastern part of Eurasia, because I know that first part now.
When I'm old and not too fit anymore, that might change.
I am now almost 80 and have lived here since the early 70s and yes, I consider Thailand my “home”. I never come to that country NL and don't miss it. Although, here in Thailand there are also more and more rules, which is a pity, see how it continues. When I came here in 1970 everything was possible, smoking in the cinema and buying beer during the film, ashtrays in the seats in the bus and puffing and drinking beer. There was no speed limit on the road, visas were extended at the Immigration in Soi Suan Plu, there was no closing time for bars and shops and they were open 7 days a week, day and night.
I came from a country - NL - where I got a ticket for playing football on the street and signs in the parks with the inscription "It is forbidden to walk on the grass" By the way, everything was and still is forbidden there. I always find. There are more reasons, but then it becomes a book. Thailand is and will always be my “home”
Live and work full time in Thailand for almost 9 years now.
My father (who moved quite a few times because of his work at the Tax and Customs Administration) always said: “Where your work is, there is your homeland. And they bake bread everywhere”.
I've always memorized that.
I have been living alone for quite some time in a small village in the mid-south of Thailand, not far from the sea, although I don't really need the sea. No other farang within 20km of me. Have a simple, happy, quiet life here. Homesick for Begie, no, not at all. I only go there if I really have to be there to return to my “home” as quickly as possible. You won't even hear me say a single bad word about Belgium, I had a beautiful, carefree youth there and a great professional career. I have traveled a lot for professional reasons and I got stuck in Thailand... Since my parents passed away, I have lived in Thailand and have not regretted it for a minute. I have good, albeit very superficial, contacts with the local population. I deeply realize that I will never become one of them and that is not my goal. I enjoy every day here, the sunshine on my shoulders already makes me happy. Riding a motorcycle through the beautiful landscape, the people waving at me, all this gives me a good feeling. When I go out, which happens regularly, to Hua Hin, to Koh Samui, to Ubon Ratchatani ... or anywhere else here in Thailand, I am always happy when I arrive back in my village and back in my own “home” can sleep.
Everyone feels this in their own way, not everyone can easily feel at home somewhere in the same way. I had and have no problem with it…. my home is where my….. Stella or is it Leo now.
Lung addie
Nice question, but above all a question that you have to think about yourself.
It should also be noted that I am and always will be Dutch and even though I live here in Thailand, the Netherlands is and will always be my country.
By coincidence I arrived in Thailand in 2005, I didn't even know exactly where it was. I was busy emigrating to Russia, on the Black Sea. Had already crossed all of Russia with the camper for 5 years, in fact the entire Eastern Bloc.
But well after that one introduction to Thailand in 2005, 3 weeks, a week in Bangkok, Pattaya and Koh Chang, I had a global idea of what the country was, but especially the culture and the people.
When you return to NL you start thinking about other options for living.
Sorry for all those people who don't think highly of the Russians, you don't see the Russians here in the country itself and the people in Russia are different than they are here. Same as with the many foreigners in the Netherlands, go to the country of origin and you will get a completely different picture of those people.
In 2005 for the 2nd time to Thailand, now a little longer, even on an annual visa. I wanted to know Thailand better, taste the culture better and what I can or must do to live here.
Just to be clear, I was well advanced in Russia and would settle at about 100 meters from the black sea. Had received a 3-year visa for Russia, unique. So everything is actually fine.
So Thailand had to be able to offer me more and then I am not talking about women, I was and am still young, although I have worked as many hours as a 75-year-old, so those traces are not erasable, but they are still an addition to your young life.
Rented an apartment in Jomtien, walked early every morning on the sea, wonderful to see how the Thais are working to clean the beach, put down the chairs and place the umbrellas. You then gradually get in touch with the local Thai, what they all have to do for a little bit of money, what they have to pay for…………. yes I won't write it but that doesn't make me good, although you also have that in the Netherlands, even more than here I still think, but almost invisible, see the many surveys that have been done. The wheelbarrows roll even faster in NL than here.
But because of the contact with the local Thai I already felt better here, with a nice temperature all year round, sometimes a bit too warm. Allow me to introduce myself, 1 year before that I still skied on the Siberian plateau with a temperature of -55 degrees. That is about as cold as -10 with a northerly wind in NL.
The Russians have district heating and in the winter all windows are open because they can't switch the temperature, just absurd. I do not approve of what Putin is doing at the moment, but he has done a lot for the local population and also kept everything affordable for the population, such as with energy and free health care. So those open windows simply cost the population nothing.
Gradually I felt better here in Thailand, in that time I gathered so much information that I knew Thai law better than any lawyer in Thailand in certain areas.
I had already decided to set up a company to buy a house in it later. I had not yet decided to live here permanently, but I did not like an apartment and that would never give me satisfaction.
April 2006 back to NL, then to Russia and only there I made the decision, I'm going back to Thailand.
The decisive factor was in the language, many young Russians can speak reasonable English, the old ones reasonable German, but everything in between, so my generation only their mother tongue.
In May 2006 again booked a ticket to go to Thailand, via internet contact with real estate agent about buying a house, which had already been bought in NL under conditions. On arrival everything was arranged in 2 hours and I had bought the house, the residents had 2 weeks to move and so I had my own place.
Because of my experience gained in 2005 and early 2006, I had resolved not to buy a wife or to send money for children every month. Children are welcome but together with the mother to live with me and then I will take care of that.
By chance I get in touch with 2 Thai women at kissfood second road, had just eaten and they invited me to eat with them again. I declined that, you think bad that you will get the whole bill as so often happens. But good fun talk, good English, they also worked in the same industry as I still had to do in NL. One friend asked me who I liked best of the 2, yes difficult and dangerous question. But sincere and straightforward as I am used to, I gave a simplistic answer to that, so that I could always protect myself. Over a cup of coffee I told them that I had an appointment at 20.00 in a massage parlor and therefore had to leave, yes she did not believe that and what kind of massage etc. Invited them to come along, so from second road to Jomtien, there knew I that good. They went along, also had a massage, but most of all of course they discovered that I hadn't lied and also had a normal massage. So luck was on my side.
It had also become clear to them that I had a particular eye for one of them and I had said that straight forward. I had said that I don't really like that very narrow thing and that one seemed much younger than my own daughter, that I absolutely could not do that if I wanted to respect my dignity. keep my daughter. After the massage, I took them back to where they lived.
The next day I was invited to lunch at their office, which I did and many times after that.
I also went out in the evening, my house was viewed by both, yes there was a good understanding and many topics of conversation concern their work and my experience in NL. It just clicked well with both.
After 3 weeks, one person asked if she could come live with me because her roommate was moving and the costs were therefore too high for her alone. I answered positively, on the understanding that she kept the house a little clean, but there was no question of a relationship.
Of course you already understand that not only the house was shared, but also the bed, while still having complete freedom with respect for each other.
After living together for 1 month it became a relationship, a long-term relationship, her daughter came to live with us after 1 year, sees me as daddy and says so. Together for almost 9 years now, still in love, still able to talk well, still freedom and oh so important, she is never jealous, even if I dance with another woman or flirt a bit, she knows me well enough by now. Money is never talked about, I helped her to earn her own money and, for me, to build something up so that her daughter can make a good start.
They have been with her many times, including her daughter to the Netherlands. My mother always warned me about Thai women, saved whole articles from the newspaper so that I could read them when I was in the Netherlands. Now my mother is crazy with my girlfriend, my children and other family. They are on Facebook together and communicate a lot there.
I have also been included in her family, without paying money or paying for everything. For me it is only a pity that I can hardly speak Thai, but I talk to the family with eyes and movements, they see that their sister is well and her child is well taken care of. The family respects me with a warm heart and that gives a very good feeling.
So now coming back to the question, Thailand is my Home, Gringo puts it well, we can live here very well with our family and friends, but it will never be our homeland, our roots are there, you cannot move roots without something dies. In my heart I am and will remain Dutch and will never say that I will not go back. If I do that, I will go with my Thai girlfriend, because that's for sure, I don't want to lose her.
Most feel at home here after having first built up financial security in Belgium/the Netherlands and can therefore live here like God in France (Thailand). Without this certainty, the feeling of being at home here will quickly fade away, and you will quickly see how much you are wanted here in this country. I would like to know if you were born here and have the future prospects of the average Thai, whether most people still feel at home or would like to immigrate to a country with better prospects?
I agree with Happyelvis's saying: "after having first built up financial security in the Netherlands/Belgium and therefore being able to live like God in France (Thailand)". Without this certainty, however, I do not think it is a good idea for us to immigrate anywhere, neither Thailand nor elsewhere. Without sufficient resources, no one will feel more at home than in the social safety net of their home country.
lung addie
Eleven years ago my wife came to NL, she thought all Farangs are good and rich.
Now she has to deal with discrimination, jealousy, envy and poverty.
Farang felt "superior" in his country, but here in Thailand they have trouble adapting to our laws, norms and values.
I've been coming to Thailand since '92 and I feel at home here.
In 2 years we will go to Thailand for good.