Patrick in Thailand (Part 1)

It's great that this blog is in Dutch, so that you can confidently tell something with a fairly high level of gossip about an American and his Thai love Jib.

The persons involved do not know this blog and, moreover, they cannot read it. The story has classic Thai elements and a lot of ingredients for a soap opera. Much of the story is "hearsay" (gossip) and where I feel the need to be complete, I have occasionally added how it could have happened in my experience.

The main characters:

1. Patrick, son of a very wealthy American, who made his money in the IT world of Silicon Valley. Patrick himself has a more than good job in the same industry at a company that has factories in the USA, but also in Malaysia and Taiwan. He regularly visits these factories as a kind of executive secretary and that is how he ended up in Thailand. Patrick is around 30 years old, solidly built with a red, round, pockmarked face. Not really suitable for a fashion model, but he is a nice guy, charming in dealing with women and can therefore often be found in the Walking Street restaurants of Pattaya. A sure plus is that he can drink like a fish (only Heineken beer), but is also very generous when it comes to lady drinks.
2. Jib, a Thai lady of about the same age. She had a good education and, according to her own words, worked at a law firm for a while after finishing school. Her father is a retired police officer from Khon Kaen who separated from her mother, probably because of her gambling addiction. Mother occasionally lives with daughter in the house. Jib came to work in Pattaya and quickly saw that there was more to earn than at a law firm and started working as a barmaid. There she - not her first "boy-friend" - met Patrick.
3. Ken, a French Algerian or an Algerian French (a pied-noir is called such a person in France), also in the same age group. Ken also met Jib in a bar, but can't possibly compete with Patrick financially. He has no money, moves in the Arab neighborhood and does some shady business there. He has already been deported from Thailand once with a red stamp, but managed to resurface, probably due to a double passport. However, Ken has a great advantage for Jib, he is a better lover than Patrick.

Cash

The story begins about 7 years ago, when we moved into our house in this street and met Patrick and Jib, our neighbors across the street. A nice couple, apparently happy together. Patrick has bought her the house (cash), there is an Explorer pickup at the door, also paid in cash by Patrick. The house is nicely furnished, the furniture, TV and stereo installation, new kitchen are also all paid in cash by …… right, Patrick!

It was a coincidence that we were able to drink a beer with Patrick at the first meeting, because two days later he traveled back to the States. Are holiday was over and finally work has to be done. Patrick gone, Ken comes! Ken is not permanently present, but appears every now and then when needed and that is not just to drink coffee. Jib lives on a monthly stipend from Patrick, from which Ken occasionally picks up some crumbs. Jib is clearly in charge, she sets the rhythm of Ken's visits. Then you don't see Ken for a while, because Jib has a visit from a Japanese gentleman, a customer from her life before Patrick. From that period, some Arab friends can also count on her hospitality when they are in Pattaya.

After about four months Patrick comes by again, he has tied up a week in Pattaya on a working visit to Malaysia. All traces of strange visitors are erased, but Patrick does get to know Ken. He is introduced as a distant relative, who is occasionally helped by Jib. Nothing to worry about, although Patrick cannot muster much sympathy for this “Arab” (his expression) from the start.

Pregnant

Not long after this visit, Jib turns out to be pregnant. Jib is happy to have her first child, but has a major problem. She doesn't know who the father is, Patrick or Ken. After about four months her tummy has already bulged out a bit and when Patrick comes by again in the meantime, he makes a comment about it. She denies being pregnant, she has just eaten a bit too much lately, but assures Patrick that she will have lost many kilos when Patrick comes again.

The child is born, it turns out to be a beautiful girl with a very light brown shade and is named Jasmine. Ken is clearly the father, but a DNA test is being carried out to confirm this finding. Patrick stays away a little longer this time and when he announces his arrival again, we feared that Jib would have a lot to explain and that the relationship with Patrick would be given a serious blow. However, none of that happens, Patrick's holiday is going well and of course we don't ask any questions.

Generous

Much later, Patrick will tell me that Jib is not Jasmine's mother. The mother is a close acquaintance of the family, who has been abandoned by her Thai husband and lives somewhere inland. Jib has offered to take care of the child. Patrick thought this was a generous act on Jib's part and decides to increase the monthly allowance so that Jib can feed and care for Jasmine without any problems. I listen to him, but don't say anything, because I obviously don't want to be the instigator of a relationship problem.

In the meantime, Patrick and Jib have prepared all kinds of papers for a visa to the States. Jib goes to California for three months and then officially gets married to Patrick, who is wise enough not to put all his belongings into the marriage. Jib returns from the States a happy, married woman. Of course she met her parents-in-law and other relatives of Patrick. She talks endlessly about that fantastic country of America, but is also happy to be back in Thailand.

Second child

Well, what happens when you stay in seventh heaven for a while? That can be guessed, but anyway, after about three months Jib turns out to be pregnant (again). She is now sure that Patrick is the father and she should know best, shouldn't she? It will then automatically become her second child, but for Patrick it will be her first child and Patrick will become a father for the first time. Patrick promises to be present to record the birth on film and photo and gives Jib ample money to furnish a beautiful nursery. The child will be delivered in the same hospital as Jasmine and Jib takes the right (financial?) measures in that hospital, so that the doctor and staff will not mention her first visit, the birth of Jasmine.

It will be a boy named Alexander, white and clear with the features of Patrick. Everyone happy, a happy mother and a proud father, who parades down the street with the baby on his arm to show everyone who wants to see the beautiful baby. Ken, the Arab, has been out of the picture for a while, even when Patrick resumes his work, and the other casual passers-by from Jib's past don't show up either. It seems like a perfect family.

Wedding

A few months after the birth, Patrick and Jib organize a Thai wedding party. The ceremony with monks takes place at home and later that day there is a grand party around the swimming pool of a duration hotels in pattaya. Many family and friends have come over from America and the total group, including Thai family and friends, is about 200 people. No expense has been spared to make this party a success and that's about it.

A fairytale you would say and Patrick and Jib are going to make further plans for the future. It is decided that Jib will go to America with Alexander and Patrick agrees that Jasmine will also come along. For both children, a good upbringing and education in America is better than staying in Thailand, says Patrick in particular. Jasmine's father, Ken, is notified and although he does not directly comment, he does not like the "loss" of his daughter.

Phuket weekend

He occasionally sees Jasmine, tries his best to be a good father, and occasionally takes her out for an outing. Perhaps to show her to his friends in Pattaya's Arab neighborhood, but one time he takes Jasmine for a weekend in Phuket. He gets permission from Jib to take the pick-up, more convenient than traveling by train, bus or plane. However, Ken does not return at the agreed time, mother Jib of course in all states. The police are informed, but they start a search in Phuket in vain.

Jib finds out after a few days that Jasmine has simply been kidnapped (kidnapped) and she suspects that Ken has gone to France with Jasmine. However, Ken is the official father, so whether you can speak of kidnapping is questionable. Ken's mother in Paris gets a call, but she doesn't speak English. At Jib's request I speak French with her and the suspicion of kidnapping is clearly contradicted. Ken is a sweet boy who will not hurt a fly and there is no question of kidnapping. The pick-up is then found at the border of Malaysia and exactly how it happened and how it was possible is very unclear, but it probably went like this: Ken crossed the border with Jasmine (without a passport), traveled to Kuala Lumpur and from there by plane to Paris. In any case, a week or so later, it is confirmed that Jasmine is in Paris.

Three months later, Jasmine is suddenly back in Pattaya. How that is possible is also very unclear. Jib claims she sent a Thai policeman to France to "kidnap back" Jasmine. There may have been threats of violence or payment of some ransom to Ken's family. By the way, Ken is currently in a French prison, because he still had a few weeks credit.

The pleurisy

Well, everything is back to normal, so let's start preparing for the move to California. That includes the application for an American passport for Alexander, who is now about 2 years old. After sending all kinds of necessary papers, Patrick and Jib then go together to the American Embassy to receive that passport. The officer in question casually asks Jib if it is her first child and if she confirms, she is asked to explain a Thai birth certificate, which lists her name and Ken's as Jasmine's mother and father. She still has some vague excuses like forgery and such, but still has to admit that she is Jasmine's mother. And with that, "the chaos" really breaks out.

The weather on the return trip to Pattaya was good, but in the car it must have been lightning and thunder, mutual recriminations and name-calling. Patrick realizes that he has been duped and in the days that follow he realizes that much of what Jib has told him in the past has also been a lie. A balloon is popped and all happiness evaporates into the air. A fairy tale is out!

Patrick takes action and demands a divorce and custody of Alexander. Jib agrees to the former if Patrick gives her one million dollars, but she won't let Alexander go. Patrick's offer is that she can keep the house, the car, the contents, get a monthly allowance, but only on the condition that he gets custody of Alexander. That is rejected and a great job for both lawyers is born.

Parting

After almost endless bickering, the American divorce is then pronounced, without Jib getting her demands met. However, custody must be arranged in Thailand and that is not easy, because Jib refuses any cooperation. Patrick stops the monthly allowance and Jib has no choice but to pick up her old “profession” again. Patrick arranges some financial help through a sister of Jib to buy food and clothing for Alexander.

Patrick starts a lawsuit over that custody, but without the cooperation of the mother, a Thai court will never assign a Thai-born child of a Thai mother to a foreigner. This opinion I tell Patrick, but he assures me that he will succeed at all costs. After all, Jib is a bad mother, because she prostitutes and does not take good care of the child. Not a really good argument in my opinion, because if all children were taken away from prostituting Thai ladies, Thailand would have a huge insoluble problem. However, his Thai lawyers give him a good chance, after all, their cash register must also keep ringing. Every time Patrick comes to Thailand – and now that's more often than usual – he spends a few days with lawyers and speaks with judges in Chonburi. It takes months and there seems to be no progress at all. Conversations with Jib always end in an argument, which Jib sometimes ends with loose hands.

Lime

And then, about a month ago, the redeeming answer comes from the judges in Chonburi, all of Patrick's demands are granted and Alexander is assigned to him. Further defense or appeal for Jib is impossible

That is the situation at the moment, only Patrick still has to get physical custody, because Jib refuses to give up Alexander. Taking Alexander just like that will not work, because Jib has assured Patrick that he will resist tooth and nail and is even prepared to kill Patrick - she says she has a weapon - if he tries to do so.

You can only guess how far it will go. In the meantime Alexander is already about five years old, a happy little boy, goes to school with his sister Jasmine, plays in the street with other children, of course only speaks Thai and is completely unaware of all the vicissitudes surrounding him. May it remain so!

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