Reader question: Relationship with a Thai woman and finances

You don't have to be insecure, I've been with my wife for 27 years and I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who also have a Thai wife / husband.
Of all those friends and acquaintances, not one has full insight into his partner's finances, including myself.
So if you don't want to be an outsider, you take care of a piggy bank for yourself and don't worry about what your partner has for financial secrets.
Trust me, once she gets into financial trouble, you'll be the first to know.

The stories you hear and read about this are well known, but you rarely hear the positive stories. Keep this in mind and go for it. A warned person counts for two. My story is positive in this case
Jan

What is the essential difference with a woman from another country.
You also hear the stories about the TH about other countries and to stay close also about other villages or even streets. The other often thinks that he knows your partner better than you.
It's up to you to prove that's not the case.

Coincidentally, I was also 63 years old when I met my current Thai wife. She was 36 at the time. I was not looking to get a younger woman, it came my way, through the Thai wife of my friend in the Netherlands. She is my wife's ex-sister-in-law. We've been together for 7 years now, and things are going just fine. Sometimes not, but that is the case in every relationship. We have been married for over 4 years now and now have a son who is almost 5 years old. Adopted. He came to us when he was 6 months old. My wife speaks English very well, so we can communicate well. I think that is an important condition. We live happily in Isaan. I am now 70 years old, I would never have found this happiness in the Netherlands, I am convinced of that. I don't have to worry financially, my wife doesn't have to work. She has her hands full with our garden, she loves cooking and gives our son all the attention. And she's super clean. A Thai top woman. They really are there! So Niek, go for it.

Dear Nick
I don't know what your financial situation is, but I would still be very careful. The fact is that Thai women, and by that I mean 95%, are out to have a better life, by which they mean that your money will ensure that they have everything they dream of. They usually say “Take care of me.” I had a relationship with a Thai woman for six years. I was the only one in her life, but when she met a rich Swiss man through a dating site who promised her everything that I could never give her, love was over in no time. That Swiss guy built her a house in Thailand, she even told a friend of hers that the interior of the house is the most beautiful and expensive that could be found. This was two years ago, but even to this day she still writes how much she loves me, but that the future of her children is important. And with that she hopes that the husband she is now married to and who is thirty-eight years older than herself, 'she is now 42', will only have a few more years and then everything will be hers and she will never have to work again. So you see that love is relative, and I don't mean from your side, but we live in a world where real love is hard to find, if it even exists. One piece of advice I can give you is never say what you own and show that your love for her does not depend on your money. I really hope that you will be happy, but time and a lot of patience will tell. I wish you all the best, but don't think with your heart but with your mind.

If you pursue the ten commandments above I know one thing that you will never have a healthy and happy relationship. Mutual respect and honesty is the most important, otherwise just do as you would do in another country, but take into account the customs in this country.

Hello I have a friend from Norway he asked me I met a Thai woman and I happen to know who has a bar in Cha-AM and asked me what do you think it was not beauty but love is blind I say but I she I have my second thoughts don't do it I went home for two days is still married
couldn't be there. he was moved in at the top of the bar cost him a lot of money because the bar had to keep on going I see him every year. Have been married for four years, had a house renovated for her parents, never happened cost him 50,000 euros they ?? then did i pay she against him stupid stupid it was a battle now they are divorced when he is on vacation he has to pay 700 baht for the rent outrageous

Think ten times before you start something ask for advice before you take the step.

Do we now get to know the feudal ruler who lurks in Tino? 🙂
Does the lighting go out? Is darkness reigning now?

Dear Niek, I have been married to my Thai wife for 7 years. She lives in Thailand in a southern province, and I currently live in Belgium. She has 2 children herself and so I knew what responsibility I was taking. This is still true today. This year I will reach my retirement age and next year I will emigrate permanently to Thailand. The details of what I have in pension money and all other private matters are between my wife and me. I realize very well that our marriage did NOT arise from that "butterfly stomach feeling" at the first look. Anyone who told that is a big liar. Fairy tales do not exist. I have kept my feet on the ground, and still do. We came into each other's lives and promised to take care of each other, in good days and bad. And believe me, there have been bad days too. Moments when I wanted to call it quits and dared to ask myself the question; why am I doing it at all? Give up and consider all the energy you put into the relationship to be lost, or continue on and slowly but surely give your partner the feeling and confirmation that deep down you are going for HER and her children. If you ultimately see that the same response comes from your partner with the will to continue, then I can confidently say YES WHE CAN.
All that fuss and writing about MONEY makes my hair stand on end. When I sometimes read that Thai women are only after the money. That you have to keep a close eye on your wallet and you are certainly not allowed to tell us what your financial capacity is. I can only give one answer to that: just stay in Europe and go to a retirement home when you retire. There you can check the balance of your bank account every day and calculate how much you can leave for your heirs, after deducting years of nursing care, when your lights are turned off.
You can then mope every day, staring out the window at the bad weather, or sweating from the cowardly heat because the goddamn air conditioning is not factored into the nursing budget.
If you want to spend your remaining “lifetime” in that way, it is your own choice and the sentence “If only I had known” is a very lame explanation for the decision taken in the past.
But I know what I'm going to do. I keep my promise. Watching over the wells and woes of the family as a good family man.
Honesty and respect towards each other, experiencing your own culture and reaching out to each other are the best ingredients for the success of your life's purpose.
So dear Niek do what your heart and mind tell you.
Do well and don't look back.
There is a proverb that says “The best helmsmen are on shore” well THEY are still there. : ))
Good luck to you
Dre

As for Sinsod. I haven't paid. My girlfriend, now my wife, was also 47.
She preferred not to talk about Sinsod. I insisted several times what she expected as Sinsod. After much insistence, she talked about 200.000 Baht. I was shocked. I explained to her that I understand the reason for Sinsod in Thailand, but that to me this seemed like I had to “buy” my wife. I didn't want to buy a woman, I wanted a sincere woman.
We never argued about it. After many discussions it was agreed that no Sinsod would be paid. She didn't raise any further issues about it.
This item was important to me : I wish she chose me, and not the money.

How many Flemish and Dutch men come home after work to discover that all furniture and household items have disappeared. All that's left is a pile of his clothes. The next morning the shock comes that not only has his bank account been emptied, but that it has been overdrawn up to the maximum limit. And a few weeks later the bailiffs are at the door. And the wife left for an unknown destination.
And those are Flemish and Dutch who do that.

In fact, asking the question is also answering it. You don't seem like a stupid man to me, but you are entering into a relationship with a 47-year-old Thai woman. That gives food for thought, but it is also a wonderful challenge. A 47-year-old single woman is doomed to remain alone in Thailand. Especially if she has children. The average Thai man no longer looks at that. I see many women of that age at my market in Pattaya who work like crazy and have to earn a living alone and are without a partner. There are treasures of women among them who are highly recommended. Not half the world has visited them and they have good values ​​and standards. Entering into a relationship is the same everywhere. You give something and get something as long as this is in balance, it will continue to cause headaches. You also have to be able to brave the temptations in this country. If the shoe fits, wear it. Many “wonderful” relationships have already gone to pieces because of this. There are men who want to do good and entering into a relationship with a Thai person who can also support you is satisfying, but costs money. No money no honey may be well known. Too good is someone's fool and there are plenty of men or women who have been deceived, we know the stories. I have been with my Thai/Dutch wife for 18 years and we still share the worries and pleasures. So it is possible, but you must be able to empathize and understand how the other person works. Whether you agree or not, the differences remain. My wife is also busy with her family because the strongest shoulders are there to receive support. As long as it works, you shouldn't make too much of a fuss about it. So my advice is know yourself and know others. The first should be known by now at your age and the second is only something that will become known by sharing time. Communication is certainly a key word and be honest and expect honesty because you are both entitled to that. I take the stories of others at face value and I advise you to do the same. There are two sides to the coin and we often lack sufficient knowledge to assess how someone else defines their relationship. Everything has consequences in life, but don't let that stop you from going for your happiness and keep your wits about you, you didn't get that for nothing.