Swimming naked in Thailand

Last week there was a Twitter post on this blog from The Telegraph with an article in the Reiskrant: “Five luxury resorts in Asia for nude swimmers” and, wonderfully, two of them are located in Phuket. In Thailand? Skinny dipping? Come on, make it a little bit.

Apart from the A go go bars and the like where there is enough nudity to see, you will not see many naked people in Thailand. Also on it beach not, a Thai man in swimming trunks is still willing, but a Thai woman in a bikini is already a rarity, because most of them go into the water fully clothed. Last year it was news in Pattaya when a Russian couple took off their clothes on the beach and went into the sea. Alarmed by worried Thai mothers, the couple was reprimanded within minutes by the police (it happened close to the police station). The man and woman got off with a small fine.

I myself am not a nudist or naked runner, but I have nothing against it either. I lived in Alkmaar, so not too far from the beach and our walks along the water often went along the stretch of nudist beach at Bergen aan Zee. People who just enjoy relaxing in the nude, nothing against it. The only hideous thing was always the older men, standing naked, but wearing sandals and socks, arranged in such a way that they could be viewed by passers-by whether they wanted to or not.

I now also belong to the category of "older men" and only sometimes walk naked indoors if it suits me. My Thai wife will not. When she takes a shower, she discreetly undresses, towel wrapped around her until she is in the bathroom. When I ask her why she does that, because there is really no one who could see anything of her nakedness, I get the answer that the "pilow" (the spirit) of the house is indeed watching. I used to be a bit more free with being naked. If I knew that the neighbors were not at home, we would sometimes sit naked on the terrace in our garden, on Ameland and in Portugal walked for miles along deserted beaches without clothes and even made love in the middle of the beach or on the waterline . Sensational!

Back to the article The Telegraf, because a resort for nude swimmers in Thailand, I wanted to know more about that. First take a look at the websites of both resorts. Both very luxurious, fully equipped, each apartment or villa with its own pool, etc. Cost per night between 10.000 and 25.000 Baht (well!), but there is no mention of naked swimming or naked recreation. All I could find on that was a review from a guest on Trisara, who mentioned a great stay at Adam's Costume. So I wrote to both resorts via E-mail to inquire about hotel policy on this subject.

Both resorts gave almost identical answers. No, we do not have facilities for nude recreation! All villas, however, are completely closed off from the outside world, so that no one can see you when you swim naked in your own pool, the management has nothing against that. You can also sunbathe naked on your terrace and – I should add – you can sit naked at the table with open doors, watch television naked, prepare food naked in the kitchen, go naked to the toilet, naked take a shower, etc. Both resorts have a private beach (at one you have to go down 150 steps and later go up again), with all kinds of sports facilities, but please keep your clothes on. Nudity is simply not appreciated in Thailand and is also formally punishable.

Conclusion: the article in The Telegraf is not misleading, because there are no pertinent falsehoods in it. But, let's face it, if it says so in the newspaper, you have a different pattern of expectations, at least I do!