Family, and certainly mama is sacred in it Thailand. The children take care of the parents. They are willing to sacrifice a lot for this. If necessary, herself, by working in a bar.
It sounds endearing. “My family poor, I must take care for family”. When you talk to a bargirl you often hear the same (sad) story. And that's right. Not a word has been lied about. Anyone who has ever been to Isaan will see with their own eyes the low standard of living.
The house is often no more than hovel. We certainly do not need to talk about the washing facilities and toilet. At such a moment you understand the choice of the ladies to work in a bar.
Buddha
What has always fascinated me is the great sense of sacrifice. I once spoke to a barmaid who told me her mother didn't give a damn about her. She, in turn, took care of her mother. "Why?" was my question. "Buddha!" she said firmly. It sounded obvious.
But one thing keeps me busy. If you dig a little deeper, do some research, check out a few books and talk to the barmaids themselves, you'll soon notice something. And the following; the amount they eventually send to the family is less than you would expect based on all those stories. Sometimes not even more than 3.000 baht per month.
Only 10 to 20%
Of course there will be a certain relationship. A bargirl who can collect 8.000 baht herself with great difficulty can send less to the family than a pretty Gogo Girl who easily collects 30.000 a month.
In the book 'Thai cuties' by Charles Schwietert, he writes about a research he has done. A banker friend would have given him access to the amounts that Gogo Girls send home. He describes that the ladies transfer only 10 to 20% of the monthly income to Mom and Dad. The rest is spent on clothes, make-up, hairdresser, plastic surgeon, drugs, wrong boyfriends, booze, gambling, mobile phones, a scooter and gold.
Yet it is difficult to really get a good picture of it. It seems to have something to do with the bargirl circuit. I also hear stories about Thai women (who are not in that circuit) who live very frugally. This, to be able to send as much money home as possible.
What is it really like? Who knows may say.
Ladies who are not in the bar circuit also take care of their parents. My AS woman works as a cleaner in the Central Plaza shopping center in Khon Kaen, has a very poor income and takes care of her mother, her two younger sisters and her 12-year-old son. From what remains, she still has to pay for the local bus between KK and her hometown Nam Phong 6 days a week. When I asked if she could pay less money to the family and keep a little more for herself, I got just a pitying look and the answer "it's my family, so I have to take care of them now"
Before that is noticed again: she does not ask me for money, the only thing I paid for is a normal toilet and a shower.
Is that right Rob, it seems that the ladies who did not being in the bar circuit, sending more to the family.
But when it comes to Thailand it is always difficult to draw conclusions. After all, nothing is what it seems.
Well, what stories, I am married to a Thai, and have been living here for 2 1/2 years, and every now and then I lend a helping hand to the family, okay, but there are boundaries that you set yourself, my wife has a budget, what she has to do with every month, and it's gone, even she even understands my principles, Can here also be some friends, who have had a good and happy life for years, and the families know their place, is with the necessary quarrels have preceded, and my wife has distanced herself from some, has worked hard all her life for the two now grown-up children, and now cannot have a rich but good life together, and she is aware of that, so they have problems, and run empty, just put your hand in your own bosom, and think before you begin.
First of all, it is not just about women, although it is true that men often make it easier for themselves. And it's not just goodwill - as so often with social relationships, fear, taboo, everyone does it and what the neighbors will say also play a major role. Cynical slanderers may also add that those mothers' kenaus put enormous pressure on their children. And 3000 THB (currently around 75 euros) is a normal average wage - for 25/30 days work in a 12/14 hour / day job somewhere in Isan - and many other regions. You will have to earn at least 2-3 times as much yourself to BE able to transfer that (by old-fashioned money order - via the prajsanie = post office).
I also know some (lady and gentleman) who didn't even dare to return to hometown with Songkran because they didn't have enough money to donate to that kenau-mdr.
As so often, the reality is even more complicated - and it is often something of "eat or be eaten". Ah yes—those old-fashioned natural longing-for traditions. Didn't we also have that in NL when the state pension had yet to be invented?
Wow 3000 Baht is really not a month's salary in ISAAN. I have lived here for 5 years (Roi-et) and am also an employer, but my salary is at least 4500 Baht per month for 6 days a week of 8 hours.
Yes Cees I agree with you I also pay my staff properly (I hope) but don't forget we are farangs the Thai employer will be a concern there are plenty in the Isaan who want to work for 3000 baht 7 days a week (including my wife before I met her) that is one of the reasons why those ladies from the Isaan like to work elsewhere.
if I let my wife do her thing, I could start an employment agency with a large workforce
Many of the girls from Isaan will happily transfer money to their mother, I have no problem with that. For that reason I never buy them a ladies' drink, but if they are nice I give 100 Baht instead of a miserable drink that they get 25 Baht for themselves.
However, girls with many tattoos - which must have cost a lot of money - immediately make me doubt their good intentions, isn't it strange?
Well, and that's how it really is in the northeast of Thailand, those people are really poor. We send something every month to the parents of my wife, who comes from isaan. But you have some Belgians who want to be married to a beautiful Thai but who don't want to send money or always complain that they have to send something. Well, anyone who marries a Thai should know beforehand that money is involved.
Yes it is simple for many parents.
they take care of some children and they have to take care of their old age.
Now when you get married, a bruits treasure is asked for, they exaggerate a lot with that.
So checkout then if their daughter starts living together then the parents still have to have every month.
Whoever brings children into this world must take care of his children, not the other way around.
Thailand has a very old system and that is already entered with the pap bottle from later you also have to take care of ma ma and pa pa.
I also know many pa pas in the izaan region who do nothing and live on the roof of their wife and children.
Definitely make clear agreements before you marry a Thai.
this is not only the case in Thailand, it is the same in Africa and the Eastern bloc.
and just like nuinbkk says, this was also the case here for the AOW.
only here the girls didn't have such a crazy African or Thai who sent money 😉
why else did they have and have large families? 11 dimes is still more than 1 guilder (okay now €)
Dear Xosis,
I'm sorry, but I've never heard anyone talk so much nonsense.
The fact that children take care of their parents' old age is still a very normal system in many developing countries.
Before the AOW pension was introduced in the Netherlands in the 50s (less than 60 years ago), things were no different.
But apparently you've never heard of it.
My widowed mother, I was still in school and could not care for her, received a meager benefit from the social services, which was deducted from my small wages when I was able to work.
Try to have a little understanding for the people here in Thailand.
The dads in Isaan who don't work, is often because there are practically none in Isaan
work. They are generally poor rice farmers who have little to do besides planting and harvesting the rice.
There is no industry, there are hardly any construction activities.
I would advise you to delve a little more into the life of the people of Thailand and only then comment.
fair remark, we also expect integration from foreigners in the Netherlands
Often been to the countryside with friends' family. Fathers and brothers sometimes have nothing to do for months. I would say: “Get off your lazy butt and do something. Start cleaning up that indescribable mess in and around the house. Plant or sow some fresh vegetables around the house. Do some maintenance on that shit for half the money that is drunk or gambled away. No, I'd rather continue sucking on the income of that sister or brother who works hard in Bangkok. Those people who work for their families can never build anything for themselves. If they already know what saving is - and it happens sporadically - then the accumulated capital is always gone before anything can be started. So it never works out that way. But hey, who am I to say anything about that? I'm just a stupid farang who doesn't understand the rich Thai culture with its valuable traditions.
@ Hans: As you point out I completely agree with you. Idd.we don't understand that "rich Thai culture" with valuable traditions?????
If they drink less Hong Tong and use less yaba, an added value could be made. But usually the males are spoiled and can do no wrong, with an emphasis on "doing" from mom and dad.
The younger generation is gradually starting to resist these malpractices that the older ones are so eager to honor.
Dear Leo,
Well I have to tell you that you are absolutely right about that, I should know I am married to a Thai from Isan, (Sakon Nakon). Those people are very poor and have to make ends meet by selling rice. Every now and then I send money. For Mr. Xosis, I think you've never been to Thailand or at least not to Isan. Do it once is the message, because criticizing is always easier.
If I may be honest, I did not come to Thailand to take care of someone else's fam. On the beach they go even further, they beg with amounts already filled in for you/me, we can even choose whether it is for a is lame or blind. You even get a receipt, all this only in Thai script. You cannot deposit into a bank account, because that can be checked. It is about time that the Thai learns his own pants with his self-knowledge stop. Often it is farangs who have to share their money with a stranger with a meager income. They know everything better, now let them prove it. Sorry guys, it had to get out.
I think that before you came to Thailand, you knew nothing about the culture, and family life, and you thought you could live here like a King with a meager income.
And keep your hand on your purse, you decide for yourself what you want. From 1980 onwards, I came here every two years for a long holiday, and traveled throughout the country, but also saw the poverty, especially in Isaan, talked a lot with Ferangs who lived here, and did not get married right away, but first looked at the situation, and believe me, you cannot tar all Thais with the same brush, my wife speaks good English, is educated, and fitting the side is a necessity, can only be achieved with a lot of talking, and the one where things go wrong is usually due to communication, or the woman is too young, has no life experience, and is under too much pressure from Mom and Dad
Wish you much wisdom and insight into Thai life
I've even been scolded once because I didn't want to go into those pre-filled amounts, as long as you give everything is fine, but if you refuse, the turnips are cooked.
Even experienced a beggar who gave back 5 baht was too little !!
A Thai who holds up his own pants, What a hoot!!
Still unbelievable how many fools and world improvers are wandering around here on this Thailand blog, I would say transfer everything you have to a poor Thai, borrow if necessary, you will have a great sense of satisfaction.
The article addresses the question of whether the bargirls in particular are so willing to sacrifice, when they say that they only send 10 to 20% home.
It seems that women outside that circuit send more money home. I asked to respond to that. So let's not get into a yes-no discussion about whether or not to send money. That's just a fact.
dear peter they can't learn to keep on
to talk about the same thing again, I'll do it
my way and I like it
gr Cor
I would take the 10-20% that, according to research by Charles Schwietert, of the girls' income would be sent to their parents, with a grain of salt. Schwietert was the man who worked on that current affairs program on the Netherlands. tv had to resign because he had wrongly assumed the university degree of 'doctorandus' d. He was then with the Dutch. Chamber of Commerce in Bangkok, during which period he wrote his very readable book 'Thai Sweeties', which deserves a better title.
But would a bank employee violate banking secrecy to give a Dutch ex-journalist access to barmaids' transfers? Even in Thailand that is hard to believe. But what makes it even more unbelievable are my following questions:
1) How can the bank know that the transfers are made by barmaids, I assume their profession is not mentioned in the transfers.
2) To calculate a percentage you need to know the total income of the girls, provided of course you can know that these are bar girls and how can the bank know the total income of those girls.
In short, I would not refer to Schwietert's so-called 'research' in the discussion.
Schwietert was not fired from the current affairs program (Brandpunt), but resigned as State Secretary after a few days. And he later ended up at the Dutch-Thai Chamber of Commerce. That is something else entirely. Incidentally, he is said to have done a good job there. And for the rest I can say from experience that a good journalist knows something about everything, but everything about (almost) nothing...
What difference does it make; he screwed up the case. He had to resign as State Secretary because of his deceit. But I was actually more concerned with the nonsense of those numbers. Can anyone answer my questions about this? No of course not. You should not be too quick to throw out so-called research data without making it clear how you obtained it. “Research has proven....” etc. actually means “just keep your mouth shut”, because we have researched it. In a learned word they call it 'argumentum authoritatis'.
But it is not a prejudice on my part to react in this way, like: 'once you cheat, always cheat'. I enjoyed reading the book and it shows a lot of knowledge about life in Bangkok. I also know some of the characters, or so I suspect, since they naturally appear under pseudonyms in the book.
But that 'research' is of course 'baa baa bo'
I have tried to find Kuhn Peter's statement in which he says that Charles Schwietert in his book 'Thaise Schatjes' had a banker say that only 10 to 20% of the income of Go-Go girls is transferred to their parents in his book, but couldn't find it quickly. I do read 'Isarn' page in chapter 7. 183 last paragraph in a dialogue the gratuitous statement that girls who earn B. 30.000 in the sex industry send home at most B. 2 to B. 4000.
Let's just say that some send a lot home and others little. Okay!? And what is it our business after all?
And at that Chamber of Commerce he had to leave again because he had connections with a Belgian scammer. Apparently that attracted each other.
There are even wealthy families who maintain this tradition. Dad or mom have plenty of money, but still get it from the kids.
It's also a matter of honor.
I think you can also make a contribution in another way, for example by taking care of the food or purchasing other consumer goods.
I see around me that 10.000 bath is given monthly, 5.000 to the parents of the woman and 5.000 to the parents of the man.
We don't give money at our house, because dad has plenty of money. He is lavishly "cared for" and he may occasionally receive an "expensive" gift. It's more the respect and the money is clearly an afterthought.
When I am in the Netherlands my children beg for my money, in Thailand my parents-in-law live with their daughter. Much of the advice I have received from the farang who has lived longer in Thailand is still. If you can spare it, give something to the in-laws (if they are poor), but set clear boundaries and don't live near the family.
The daughters are simply put under pressure. from dad to mom, brothers grandpa and I don't know.
Eating out, the richest pay anyway.
In 2010 I had to go back to the Netherlands for a major operation and had deposited an amount of 400.000,00 thb on her account, I had entrusted this to another farang and he could not keep his mouth shut. As a result, my girlfriend had no rest.
No one used to want to know us, but now I get visits almost every day from people who want money from me. I was told when I got home to Thailand, that didn't make her happy either.
Have now made an agreement that her parents will receive 4000,00 thb every month and if others ask her for money, she says. I have no money, if you want some, just ask the farang.
Since these guys don't speak English and I don't understand a word of Thai at that moment, that problem has been solved.
Setting a limit is absolutely necessary, in the Isaan eyes you are just a rich stinker as any farang and in fact that is also true compared to their incomes. A minimum benefit from the Netherlands is always an above-average Thai income.
Well, everything depends on who your in-laws actually are. Most are money wolves and have nothing to do with the farang. They confuse mandatory retirement age with catching as much as possible.
An irritating affair seems to me, especially if the rest of the family wants money too. Always friction, whether between the family or with your girlfriend.
Leo I totally agree with your response to Xosis' article
Nothing to add.
A note about Dutch conditions.
Before the Second World War and shortly afterwards, it was also whole with us
just that the kids continued to take care of their parents.' It happened
that 1 of the children remained single to arrange things at home
Gerrit
Oh yes I forget that.
Drs Schwietert was forced to resign from politics because he did not have a
Dr was.
Small mistake on his part.
Gerrit
Dear people on the subject of Father helping mother, has been discussed and discussed before, has been so far, but family who are too bad to work, or a few days and then drink, quit work in a factory with no new job in prospect..
Lived here for three years, and the first year the worst, and didn't agree with everything at all, don't be stingy, but there's a limit.
Then a friend here suggested that I read a book. The medicine for
THAI FEVER. translated book by Kees Nolting, the left page in Thai and the right in Dutch, half a book about the driving and life of a Thai family, and the other half about how everything goes in Holland (culture difference), now that my wife and I have read , and have become much wiser, I understand her better, and she how I think about everything, things have been going great ever since, and she has understood that if she wants to have a long and good life, she has to say a radical no to brothers and sisters for many things,
Ditto on my part, and now half the family is angry, but stand firm.
So advise everyone to read this book, together with girlfriend or wife, and it will solve or reduce many problems.
I have also read the book Thai Fever / Thailand Fever and it is full of silly nonsense. The author Chris Pirazzi mainly refers to Westerners who enter into a relationship with a bargirl, although he claims to be highly educated.
Tap his name on google images and if you need advice from that kind of nurd, in my humble opinion they are not doing well with regard to women in thailand.
What strikes me when I go to parties nowadays from the Belgian Thailand clubs that all those guys there claim that their female friends don't come from bars but have gone to university and apparently they work in hotels in Belgium as a chambermaid, massage, Thai shops that keep talking about go head, I still have to meet the first Thai here in Belgium or the Netherlands who has achieved something substantial.
I didn't know there was an English version.
My wife and I both have the English version “Thailand Fever”
by Chris Pirazzi and Vitida Vasant.
Very instructive, but also common sense and good will will get you a long way.
My motto; “Go with the flow”
Where did you buy the Dutch version?
Regards, Hans G.
A friend brought the book from Holland, where it was for sale at the bookshop, or could be ordered.
Peter,
I've been thinking about what's on your mind.
Could it not be that it is not only according to ability but also according to need in terms of the money that the women/girls send home?
One family in Isaan may need more support than the other. Also, one girl can be a bit more selfish than the other.
As an example:
Most of my in-laws in Isaan are quite poor, except for a brother-in-law and sister-in-law who have a kung farm and are quite well off.
They really don't want any support from their daughter who works here in Banglamung (not in a bar).
It could also be better than expected, and that many mothers are not money-demanding kenaus, as I hear so many claim.
I think that, as with so many things, you cannot tar everything with the same brush.
Have a nice holiday and greetings,
Leo Bosch
As a postscript,
I have also read Charles Swietert.
I don't know, the stories are unverifiable.
But I have the impression that there are also some Indian stories.
Good for sales.
Leo Bosch.
Dear Hank B.
Would you like to know how I got to that book “Thai Fever”, or is it “The Medicine for Thai Fever”? can come.
Is it for sale in Thailand?
Leo Bosch.
The book is for sale in Thailand, saw it last year in a large bookstore in Chiang Mai. English by the way.
http://www.thailandfever.com can you order it online, go ahead and do it
It's very simple. Every lady belongs to a family, which you get for free. The poorer, the more problems, because money is related to study and job. Less study or no study enjoyed also causes many other social problems. In addition, Thai culture is very different from that of the Westerner.
So now also the associated use with regard to the pension schemes.
” I recently put my friend in touch with a nice respectable lady of 44, studied, top job and own shop, because his ex from Isaan had left him, as his 7 million bath had already been used, which, by the way, for a large part to her family had disappeared”.
Yes, and why a foreigner, no euros, no love,
Married myself, to a sweet and caring Thai, but know, if I had nothing
It will soon be over to maintain her, money plays such a major role.
And just look around you, including shopping mall, see the big age differences, incredibly fat,
bad running, lame hand etc. so what do you think it's all about, no monny honny.
we sing along to the song no women no cry no women no cry thai lady s sing no man no cry no monny i ame that's really true no monny no honny
What a reaction.
Fortunately also positive.
Fortunately, the negatives are a very small percentage of the number of foreigners who are positive. You just don't hear it.
It is forgotten that our ladies also want to see money. There is also NO MONEY NO HONEY. Only in most cases they do not have to support the entire family.
And furthermore, the ladies in the profession in Pattaya Phuket etc are only a very small percentage of all Thai women. They simply have a job or are studying in the province (and also hope for a farang.)
5 minutes ago a friend of ours left home. She is very wealthy but her husband usually does not come home. Drinks and hooks elsewhere.
For now, he gets Bath 100 a day from her.
By the way, there are also many rich Thais in Isaan and men and women with considerable salaries for Thailand.
GJ
I wonder whether all those farangs, pensioners and married to Thai women, children, first marriage, or those children later when the farang is no longer there, whether they also benefit financially.
My verdict on this: no way, mother can make ends meet, will I benefit from widow's money, so it's the other way around.
So I don't give anything to in-laws and certainly not to the kids, I've worked long enough never stamped or benefited from the community and now I (and my wife) live off the pennies.
No charity
luc, you are a true farang, everyone for themselves and God for us all. You have had the chance to work and earn your money, many Thai (Isaan) people don't even have that opportunity. Sorry, but working in the rice fields in 40 degrees heat for 140 baht per day.
I have a 37 year old Thai brother-in-law who works as a cook. He is married and has a 6-year-old son. To earn a living, he works 400 kilometers away. He earns about 8.000 baht a month, of which, after deducting board and lodging, he can send about 3.000 baht to his family, whom he sees once every six months. I'm happy to help a guy like that, because you can't keep your own pants on that amount, not even in Thailand.
I think you misunderstood my response. Children must help the parents.
Agree with that, my position is if there are children with farang or from previous marriages, will they also help their parents, if one of them falls away ??.
BIG DOUBTS.
Your brother-in-law works, ok, one of the few because usually the women go to work and the men drink their white whiskey, this is the reality.
There is work in Thailand, but some (the whole family) live on farang money and that bothers me.
OK, 8000 baht is not much, but their standard of living is also much lower than ours.
Compared to pre-war conditions in our countries.
I also help the family (admittedly) but materially and not financially, to drink it up or play the lottery.
Your assessment, “every man for himself” does not apply, only you have to help them materially not with money and I do this too, to the extent that I can spare.
Bete ferdinant, glad you see it positively, but helped the family a lot in the first years, but become too dependent on my help.
Too bad I have to say it, but a Thai lives day by day, and does not think about tomorrow, if they have work, and want something else, they quit their job before there is any prospect of other work (I have tried many times don't throw away old shoes if you don't have new ones yet), but dick against a wall, no work OK then eat and drink with us, and the occasional small gift, but once I'm tired of that.
And then also ask for money for work at or on my house, it's give and take.
But if it's just taking, stop it for me, even my wife sees it now,
although that has led to many differences of opinion, (But the book Thai fever, has made her think) and so removes many problems between us.
I don't quite agree with Ferdinant.
Luc is not a real farang.
He is one of the farangs who give us a bad name.
For the rest, I completely agree with you Ferdinant.
As can be concluded from my previous letters, I could also give a number of examples of distressing poverty, which people can do little about because the prosperity in Thailand still has a lot to do with it.
improvement falls.
With my AOW plus pension I have at least 10 times more income than the average Thai.
I think it is only normal that I support my wife's family, which is also my family after all, as I described in my previous letters.
I don't want to beat my chest, because I realize that in the end it's just a handout.
Luc is of course allowed to have his own opinion about this, but I think that says everything about his egoistic character.
He is the typical example of the "kiniau farang".
Leo Bosch
I am certainly not a kiniau farang, and may have already given more material support than you, I don't take stock of it, but a Flemish saying is, give them a finger and they take a hand (and more). That's why I don't give money, only material things.
Helping father and mother out of need, ok, but brothers and sisters, no way.
I think you misunderstood me.
Do you support your family in the Netherlands with your state pension?
I don't think so, because then you won't have much left of your AOW.
OK, we are in Thailand, I understand, but you don't have to allow yourself to be abused by always asking for money for a broken moped, new teeth, new glasses, I can name them all, go with the people and improve whether that moped is broken or those glasses and teeth and then give money
There are so many differences in Thai, we foreigners can't see the wood for the trees anymore. And everyone has their own experiences. What is very difficult for one person is fun for another.
However you look at it somehow money is involved, the question is just whether you can reconcile with the amount and the way this is done. The rule is that the poorer the family, the greater the chance that you will have to contribute more financially. After all, the biggest cut paid.
If you marry a Thai, you will have to conform to the customs in some way, but don't let yourself be abused. Supporting the parents is part of it, how you do this is your business. Appropriate I would say. After all, you should respect the girl's parents.
Sorry Gerrit Jonker,
Then you certainly don't read my letters.
And fortunately, besides me, there are also a few farangs who write more positively about Thailand and the Thai.
But you're right, they don't make much of a difference.
Of course among the Thais there is also timidity, and things happen here that cannot be tolerated. Where doesn't that happen?
And I don't want to justify it, but if your entire family has been in poverty all their lives, and you see the farangs throwing money around, then you are more tempted to rip someone's leg out than if you have insurance. receive your monthly unemployment benefit
or WAO benefit.
Leo Bosch.
Leo,
you worked to get WW or AOW or your WAO benefit didn't you?
I have worked continuously for 40 years and am now enjoying my "benefit" or pension, I am certainly not selfish but it is true that I worked 40 and 12 hours a day for 14 years, I want to enjoy that in recent years and not spend it to some who would rather sip whiskey all day instead of going out to work (okay for a meager wage).
In Belgium and the Netherlands there are also Eastern Europeans who work in the fruit sector for 5 euros per hour (this is also exploitation compared to here).
Take off your rose colored glasses.
I love Thailand and also the people, but not parasites and leeches,
I think many think like me, maybe they don't dare to admit it.
All my life I've said my opinion (sometimes clashed) but never played the hypocrite.
Leo..you are very right..there are plenty of farangs think positively about the Thai.
When I look at my ex [Thai] mother-in-law 65 years old, who still works every day, selling shaved ice at a market, working in the garden, making cushions, blankets or reed mats, mining salt, or whatever it is called, heavy and heavy work.
My ex brother-in-law, chicken driver.[ drives chickens at night. 7 days a week. together with his wife. and 12-hour days.
Of course you have plenty that don't work, but look in the Netherlands!
And I don't want to put it right, but if your whole family has been in poverty all their lives, and you see the farangs throwing money around, you're more tempted to rip someone's leg off,
Leo, you hit the nail on the head. I'm really irritated by those idiots who try to impress the Thai population (particularly the women, of course) during their holiday in Thailand by acting like big spenders, while in Farangland they often fall into the category losers belong. Such guests are indignant when they are financially stripped by a Thai and the Thai is then immediately described as a money-grubbing werewolf? Such guests are also surprised when a Thai in the Netherlands is confronted with the real living situation of the farang, that such a relationship ends in no time. How naive can you be?
I just got back from Thailand and I met quite a few idiots there again. One of them brags to his Thai in-laws that he can save around €800 per month. Of course, that fell on deaf ears, so her mother-in-law approached her son-in-law (the farang) for a car, a new car that is. No one has a driver's license there, but that doesn't matter. Will he come and complain to me about this? My answer: don't be so childish and buy that person a nice Mercedes.
My late father always said to me, Ferdinant, when you have money it is wise to put your arm forward, no one will nag you for money. On the other hand, he also said that the best faith you can practice in your life is to try to mean something to your fellow man. In short, if you have enough yourself, why not help others, especially when it comes to your own (in-law) family.
Indeed Luke. I live generously here on my AOW plus company pension.
I don't have to support a family in the Netherlands, as you cynically suggest, because we have a first-class social system in the Netherlands. (If not, I would also help them as far as I could).
I wrote before, in every country you have schorum.
Maybe you're dealing with a really bad in-laws.?
Fortunately, I was luckier, they are all poor, but honest and hard-working people.
Believe me, people like that exist in Thailand too.
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with it.
Leo Bosch
I have no wrong in-laws at all, my in-laws have a number of large ponds, and they are very large, where fish are farmed, fish is regularly sold, and they also have an income from fruit. Certainly not poverty. They don't ask for money, never asked, but you probably don't get the gist of my statement.
“If the children (my wife has one son, of age), will they also take care of mom when the farang is no longer there?”
Brothers and sisters also asked for money at the time, “business is not going well, new moped needed,…” I firmly said no.
I think you should respond to this and not about the fact that I am a stingy farang,
certainly not, only material help, I do.
I am Belgian and I believe that our social system is even better than in the Netherlands, but this aside, you just have to remain realistic and help with the right resources and not by giving x number of baht.
Besides, the parents also have other children and sons-in-law or daughters-in-law, who can also contribute and not only the farang, which has invaded the family and is regarded as a walking ATM.
Indeed Luke. I live generously here on my AOW plus company pension.
I don't have to support a family in the Netherlands, as you cynically suggest, because we have a first-class social system in the Netherlands. (If not, I would also help them as far as I could).
The standards of living in the Low Countries are slightly higher, you will not get by with monthly support of a paltry 250 euros (10.000 baht).
By the way, not everyone has a pension of around 1600 euros. If your parents were to stay in a retirement home, you would have to give up a larger part.
Well, you do everything for the family, you say, also for ours in the Netherlands or Belgium????
No, because there is a “good social system”
wonderful stories here.
Don't worry, 10.000 euros is a lot of money, especially in Thailand, but with a plane ticket, possibly a hotel, a longer stay, it melts like butter in a pan.
caution is the mother of porcelain.
if you need money tomorrow due to circumstances, just try to get something. who will help YOU if you are in trouble?????????????have experienced that myself..
be careful, giving some support now and then can't hurt, but always make sure you have everything in order for yourself.
be careful and make sure you don't end up penniless, because you really are all ALONE.
Completely agree with your response
I've mentioned it before, too many farang walk around here with rose colored glasses, if they get into trouble themselves, financially or medically, there is NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!, who will help.
But nobody, or few understand this, they only see their young Thai wife, sweet and affectionate and always smiling.
Men, put your two feet back on the ground instead of floating.
This is not an accusation, rather an observation.
Thai ladies are the same as angels
When it comes to money, they become rascals
The Netherlands used to have a banknote with a snipe on it
They always flew out of your pocket at the time.
On the notes of Thailand is a very nice man
The Thais love that very much.
These bills can also fly
If your Thai thinks you can cheat
I don't want to lecture anyone here
But prevention is better than cure
Therefore, luc.cc is absolutely right
The Thai lady becomes rich with the ATM farang
And indeed if you get to know the Thai better
and not just let your Thai lady spoil you.
Then know what to watch out for
everything will be fine with your cut
It is not yet the time of Sinterklaas
So farang stay in control of your cut
Otherwise it went very quickly
cut it empty the woman is gone then,
no money
no honey
Of course, the rule confirms the exception
And of course my tarack is different
Boy oh boy, how well we know it all.
I have been living here for 8 years now and have been married to the same woman for over 7 years, I have never had money problems with her or her family..
I have to laugh at your well-intentioned advice, but I have enough life experience to distinguish the wheat from the chaff and I really don't walk around here with rose colored glasses, because I know there are plenty of Thais who are no good (as there are people all over the world those who are no good.)
I think I was old and wise when you were still in diapers and I can make that distinction.
And lucc cc, you can't be followed at all, in one writing you write that you are being stripped naked by your in-laws, and that they only want to drink your money, and now they are suddenly good citizens of a certain wealth .
Sorry, let's stop this discussion, I think that if you are critical enough in your choice of wife, you will end up at the level where you feel happy and where you belong.
And I don't mean the financial or intellectual level, that doesn't interest me one bit.
But the level of integrity, decency and reliability is important to me.
But many farangs don't have the ability to discern that.
They see a gorgeous chick, get married and then sometimes end up in an anti-social family. and then there is a lot of complaining that they all want money from him and only want to drink from him.
Sorry Luc, you made that choice and you will have to do it with that family.
But let your good heart speak, and realize that we as Farangs have it so much better than them.
I also noticed that it is mainly the Belgians. who have such a big mouth about those stingy Dutch people, but that the same Belgians have so many problems with passing off a few baht.
Once again I wish you all the best with your wife and her family.
Leo Bosch.
Thanks Leo,
Good reactions.
I'm in the same situation as you, only married for three years.
After I gave my wife and mother-in-law a financial push in the right direction, they can now take care of themselves and really don't need my support anymore.
They are on the field at 5.30 to harvest pineapples and they can make ends meet from sales.
When I stand at the checkout at the supermarket, 90% of what is in the cart is for me.
My mother-in-law, my wife and her son can get by on 100 baht a day.
(Isaan food) I am very happy with my in-laws, who never asked me for money just a brother-in-law who thought my wife was stingy because we didn't have a grand wedding back then.
I will stop, because Hans Bos has indicated that the discussion is closed.
Hans G
lucc ss,
I just re-read one of your letters, in which you write that the Belgian social security system is said to be better than the Dutch one.
I'm sorry, but now I have to laugh.
Greetings,
Leo Bosch
Because I assume that everything has been said and written on this subject, I hereby close this discussion. We won't be one anyway. And no, mine was no different….
still 1 comment.
i lived as a monk in a temple for 2 years. my son now 15 years old lived with me in a kuti on my begging trips i received a lot of money and food his fam stood every day in front of the temple to ask him for a lot of food and money they didn't work, now i wwer a layman and live in phitsanulok with my son for his fam there is nothing left to get and they went to bangkok and they work now my son loves his fam but he doesn't want to do anything for them either, by the way, they have to fend for themselves We take care of that ourselves
anthony(apipanjo}