'Not all bargirls in Thailand are just after your money'
This story takes place in Phuket and already 14 years ago. But I think it's worth telling the Thailandblog readers. Names are fictitious, because maybe they still work there.
Night out at Patong beach
After enjoying a delicious meal in the family restaurant of a cheap, but very cozy bungalow park in the far south of Phuket, I still had some energy left to go out for a walk in Patong beach. A 40-minute moped ride on winding roads. My friend Ruud, with whom I was on holiday, didn't feel like coming along. He finally went to read that book that had been untouched in his bag for two weeks. Around 21.00 pm and avoiding the street dogs along the way, I arrived in Patong beach. It seems as if those dogs deliberately lie down in the middle of the road provocatively with the idea, if you drive over my tail I will bite your legs.
Let's first go to my favorite bar (Alice bar), where I know a lot of people. I don't know if that bar still exists though. I deliberately didn't take too much money with me, because I know myself well. With 1500 baht I should be able to manage if I didn't do crazy things. I wasn't planning to either. The plan was that I would drive back to the bungalow (without wife).
The night out turns out differently than I expected. After catching up with a number of regular customers and a few nice ladies, we decided to take a closer look. Took another foot massage for 200 baht and a small snack, I went to play pool in another bar for a few hours. Whoever wins stands and gets a drink from the loser. I happened to have wings that night and won one game after another. After winning 9 games in a row and drinking ditto drinks for free, I started to get a bit drunk. In the 10th game I finally lost and stayed in another bar until closing time. I looked in my wallet and saw that I had 400 baht left.
Although there is absolutely no check on drinking by the Thai police (at least 12 years ago), it no longer seemed responsible to drive back to the bungalow in the dark on a moped. But where can I find a cheap place to stay so quickly at 230 o'clock at night?
I walked up to some ladies who hadn't left the bar yet and asked them if they knew of a cheap guesthouse for 400 baht. They looked at each other and one of those ladies then said: “You can sleep with me sir if you want, you are a nice guy”. My response: I am not looking for a lady tonight. I only want a place to sleep, I only have 400 baht.
“No problem sir, let's go now on my bike”. She was called Noi and 10 minutes later we arrived at her room, that's all it was, in one of those back alleys that Patong has so many. We showered together and then I fell asleep like a log.
The next morning I was pleasantly woken up by her being quite pawy. I tried to mutter: “I can't pay you for this, darling”. Noi: “I know, but I am horny, I do not sleep with a man for two weeks”. Then say no… An hour later she suddenly walked out of the room and came back with a friend of hers. “You can give the 400 baht to her, because she has to pay the rent for her room tomorrow, she needs it more then me”.
It turned out that she had spent four days with a German who had only given her 700 baht. What a bastard I thought. I gave her the 400 bath and she spontaneously started undressing. That was not the intention at all. In addition, it was a woman that I would absolutely not like. Finally she understood (she looked somewhat disappointed) that I didn't want to have sex with her and thanked me with an exaggerated wai and left the room with her clothes on.
I drove back to the bungalow with the moped and told the whole story to my friend, who laughed a lot.
In the evening I drove back to Patong and gave Noi 1000 baht for the night before. And this evening I did have a woman on the back of the moped back to the bungalow. And yes, it was the same woman.
A bit of a weird story, somewhat consistent with the assumption in the title. However, I think the matter is very different, that the majority of the farang consciously uses the financial position of those girls from mostly poor families. Less than twenty euros to unleash your sexual desires on a woman for four days, reminds me a bit of exploitation and slavery where Western principles go overboard very quickly. I don't want to sound like a preacher or very prudish that men in Thailand can so easily take advantage of Thai women. They are also people who should be treated humanely. I feel very sorry for those women.
I think that everyone always has a choice, including the girls from the mostly poor families.
Leaving this story aside, I think that usually the farang gets the short end of the stick and often ends up penniless.
You're really looking at it all wrong, herne63. Look, people come to Thailand for the white beaches, swaying palms and beautiful temples. Sometimes they get lost and then they end up in this red area where all the girls hang out. The poverty radiates from it! They don't even have enough money for decent clothes! You immediately see that their husband has run away, that they have no school fees for their children and that the buffaloes have died. You feel sorry for them and generously give them some money. Those lovely girls are eager to return the favor for your charity. How can they best show their gratitude? Correct……..
You are absolutely right Tina. If all those 30 million tourists would only come to the Thai women, they would all be much richer, and so would Isan.
Wonderful, thank you for this story. and it confirms my idea about the Thai(se women), where the only frustration is: no compatriot believes you. Do you also have some stories, but people are waiting for this? Am just a tourist, not an expat.
Dear Rob, you can always send in to the editors. Then you will automatically notice whether people are waiting for it.
And Hans, thanks for your nice anecdote. Those ladies are just people. Not every person is after money, but sometimes likes to help someone else without direct self-interest. Those who do good, meet well.
All stories are welcome as far as I'm concerned, as long as it's not made up.
I'm quite gullible, and I sometimes believe those men who proudly tell at home that they didn't have to pay anything. If a girl has already received her fixed expenses for the current month and she meets someone she sees bread in, offering free companionship ultimately increases the chance of a longer relationship.
Because I absolutely do not want to create that illusion, I always agree on a price in advance and I always explain: Tuk-Tuk (my nickname) never lie, but Tuk-Tuk butterfly.
If you know the tricks of the trade a bit, it's a piece of cake to bind such a girl to you for a week with beautiful plans for the future and feigned love under her motto 'up to you', but I don't think that's the way to do it. If you do have serious plans, that's different, but the big boasters usually just didn't understand how it should be.
you were very lucky that evening at the pool game, 9x free drink, never experienced, and 1500 bath in your purse, 40 minutes from patong, daring, always stay in this area yourself, twelve years ago this might still count, but now you can't do much with it! and a foot massage of 200 bath, I want to know that address? a game of knocking nails, four in a row, etc.; if you do the bars first, and then want to go to disco mai thai, you don't have to leave until midnight, but still a nice story!! and as for the bar girls, never felt cheated about them, always honest with me, ps, don't think alice bar still exists? and i don't know that cheap restaurant in a bungalow park either!
I don't believe that not all bargirls are after your money.
Hans, how much did that barmaid (who indeed helped you well at that moment) cost you afterwards. Or should I ask you impolitely how much she has "extorted" in those 12 years.
I have no problem at all with the sex industry (to each his own, and the bunny benefits from it), but they don't do it out of love. It's hard business, anyone who thinks otherwise will fall into a trap!
I also had a friend in C Dao who thought the girl 40 years younger was in love with him, hahaha, I can tell a whole story about it.
Thai girls are beautiful, can be bought, are friendly, can be sweet, but….
Don't believe that they fall in love with you as a "barmaid". They are all out for money.
Of course, that does not apply to the impeccable girls who, as a farmer's daughter, see their chance in an honest relationship with a falang. Everyone gets their chance for me. And you can. See as an example the beautiful relationship of the Inquisitor in Isaan.
I also had a nice experience. After a night out with a Thai girl, I realized in the morning that I no longer had my mobile phone. Via via I let her know. Towards noon she entered the hotel with a big smile: “have something for you”. Now you can go home”. I left for Belgium that same afternoon. “You forgot in restaurant”. So she had gone to the 3 or 4 places with her moped to ask if a mobile phone had been found. So, those people from that bar-restaurant had not withheld count, but kept track. She herself, called Safira from Pattaya, could really have kept this mobile phone, of the more expensive type, and resold it, but she didn't. She also knew that I was leaving for Belgium that same afternoon. Hereby.
Norbert
Bargirls aka prostitutes are only out for financial gain. Selling your body as a woman is the last thing you would do if you were in their high heels… right…?
Treat the ladies who work there with respect/behave like a gentleman and you will (in most cases) get respect in return. But never forget that for 95% of those girls it's all about money. But this applies wherever in the world where these kind of ladies work.
As long as you keep this in mind then I wish everyone good luck visiting such places, but never forget that for serious work such as relationships you have to girl this like the plague.
In Thiland, there are fifty shades of gray between a virtuous Thai woman (the white side) and a Thai woman who makes a living selling sex (the black side).
If you know and experience a little more about Thai society, you don't make such oversimplified statements.
What strikes me again is the negativity when one brings a positive story about Thai ladies, whether or not working in the nightlife. Honestly, I feel sorry for these people.
On a forum I once got the comment: it is a transaction, no more and no less. Well, that way you can view every action that involves money (nursing assistant, salesman, postman). In other words, these are people where the glass is always half empty, and the glasses are always black. Pity, indeed. Another comment I read: respect and prostitution don't go together. Well, you'll only have one customer like that.
Nothing new under the sun as I read here. In this world it is important to do customer loyalty. Women are generally good at that. That can be done in many ways. With a decoy you can also achieve the necessary afterwards. You always give something in the back of your mind that there is something to get. In the end it is always about money because love cannot be bought. So let people fool you and keep those rose-colored glasses on and you will get far in this world.
I have a neighbor in the moo track and he has a spacious house. A present from her ex-husband, according to her own words. She has a beauty salon and about eight ladies work there. But she complains bitterly that the business is not profitable enough. She has already worn out several partners and does odd jobs with other men. So also a form of prostitution, which you regularly encounter. You will not find this lady in the bars other than as a customer with a friend. She has a golden pussie and that says it all. Just purchased yet another four-door truck worth about a million bath. Her cute boyfriend is now in her house and she is regularly out and about. He has no problem with that like many Thai men. As long as he has enough to spend everything is fine right? I think it's a mentality of licking my vest and the behavior of this neighbor far below arrow.
But again and I can't stress it enough, it's all about survival and therefore money in a society where poverty is more commonplace than woof.
while boarding a local bus and during the jostling on the way to Manila airport, my wallet with my money and bank AND credit card was stolen from my pocket.
luckily they had left my passport. luck was partly with me because already in Thailand, where I was on my way to, I had already booked and paid for a hotel for 4 days with my credit card and had another 4.000 Thb of money with me from my stay a month earlier in Thailand.
of course I blocked my cards as soon as possible, even at the Manila airport, and called my friend, whose son is the branch manager of my bank, to transfer some money with Western Union.
before he understood that… man man man and that is a university graduate who also worked in the bank. anyway, he would do that as soon as possible and deposit 500 euros so that I could still draw my plan for 2 weeks.
I did warn him that BEFORE my return at the end of the month I would need that much again…
So 14 days later I was almost out of money and called him back…
he was skiing in Austria without letting me know in advance and so I urgently had to get money elsewhere because not paying in Thailand = going to jail.
at that time I then knew quite well a barmaid there in Kanchanaburi on the River Kwai and told about my problems.
she knew me pretty well then and without blinking, she then took 8.000 thb from her account and gave it to me WITHOUT putting anything on paper… COMPLETELY in TRUST!!!!
of course when I got home I repaid her that money with a large % also with Western Union.
so this shows how SOME Thai can be selfless as good Buddhists but it has left me with a girlfriend for life…
next year I want to buy a motorcycle in Thailand and on my 70th birthday I will tour around Thailand with it for 2/3 months, which I know very well because I have visited all regions before and because I speak Thai fluently so this is not a problem for me may be.
well, I have already asked that barmaid to look out for a 2nd hand 250-500 cc motorcycle for me because it works out MUCH cheaper than renting and after my touring around for 2/3 months I want to resell that motorcycle to her (or maybe it can stay with her until the following year for a fee of course) maybe at half the price and so she can make a lot of profit on resale.
this is of course only possible if you know someone you can trust.
that girl is 21 and as old as my 50/50 Thai-Belgian daughter and I as then 68 years old asked her why being so fond of an “old man like me” to me her answer was “because you are so funny” with a radiant smile. yes, my favorite thing to do in Thailand is laughing and moaning, mostly in Thai, with those cute girls and THAT KEEPS ME YOUNG, but of course I was very lucky to get to know someone like that…
I know a lot of real histories of girls who worked in 'hospitality' because they had to earn a living. I also ran an entertainment business in Patong and always had to go past the bars. Was often called as a friend to come and talk. If I didn't want to sleep alone, it was 1 of the girls I was friends with or the cashier who 'never' went with men. Once upon a time I was on my way to my apartment on foot after closing time when I was walking behind a lady I approached quickly and as I walked by she asked where I was going? home and you, she too. Only? Yes. Then we can keep each other company?! and we had a wonderful night in her room. After a breakfast paid for by me, I went home satisfied and without feeling guilty… I have many more honest stories about innocent overnight stays. Most of the girls are there to have a chance to get to know a good foreigner who can and wants to offer them a 'secure future', including the family. Of course I also have stories about selfish girls who operate as 'money wolves' and go over corpses. But they are certainly not all like that.
After all, they are all angels, aren't they?
I think from personal experiences over the 20 years that I now stay here as an expat where I have seen famous neighborhoods rise and fall that the majority of the ladies see it as work and you have to be paid for it.
Additional matters such as shelter or lost phones and ATM cards there you get to know the other side of the ladies.
And then you experience, at least I myself, that the majority of the ladies are just as ordinary as your Dutch ex-wife….
Personally, I also like to see the positive side of someone and don't immediately pull the always existing prejudice until I know the lady or gentleman in question a little better.
How and why they work in this industry will always be a mystery to me, but once they get past that first time you see that the money and the nights in the pub are just as much.
work as with us on the other side of the bar; addictive.
Very occasionally a girlfriend comes over and stays for a few nights, drinks like a man and lives in the evening and night, but a cultured child with manners and modestly dressed
You will never get that drink out in my opinion and I have no idea what she is like among her friends….
It remains a strange thing
2 adults meeting each other. A nice story that I enjoyed reading, and certainly don't want to judge.
Wrong conclusion in the headline. The fact that they are nice and friendly and that there are no hard transaction conditions (money for sex) says more about Thai culture than whether or not they are after money. You kind of have to see this in the category of "up to you" when it comes to pricing.
Everyone else has to know it all for themselves, of course, but this sounds a bit like 'this one was really different'.
So let's say 5 out of a hundred are not after money.
And it is a lot of work to find one of those 5 ha ha.
There are those who come through a lot of ladies if you know what I mean. The holland asian street meat variants. Then there is a realistic chance that you will hit them and you think that it is. But the fact remains that they all need money and that this is the motive to start in prostitution. Perhaps a single lady who is very fond of sex and who does it selflessly and for nothing, provided she meets the right man or woman. Who knows, the exceptions prove the rule.
Why do these women all need money? Why don't they have a 'normal job'? Do we ever think about that? There are many divorces in Thailand, low-paid jobs in rural areas. Those who, for example, walk around Big C in a nice uniform and have to be present for many hours a week, receive 8000 Baht per month (Udon Thani). nowhere near 300 Baht a day which is Prayud's dream.
If people in the Netherlands have no income due to circumstances and they absolutely cannot get work, what do they do? Correct! There is always a basic security, but not in Thailand. There it really is the case that many are forced by necessity to lend themselves to something they actually do not want at all.
So they need money in the first place because they have to pay for a room and food themselves or they sleep with 20 in 1 room that is made available by the bar owner. The less beautiful Isaan women who are unmotivated and have no chance of holding such a pole on a stage, receive between 3000 and 5000 baht per month after all costs charged by the boss have been deducted and that little money goes to the flat country where a number of family members have to survive and children go to school! I have gained a lot of knowledge because I speak Thai and if I had to let Western business partners experience Bangkok for 1 night, I let them go and my 'waiting time' passed by having a chat with the less beautiful ladies. Many lustful men look too negative and too degenerate to these Thai 'ladies'. Try putting yourself in their situation to understand them. How can one enjoy loving full sex and be in great need when the head is overflowing with worries?
No, it's not work, because searching won't get you there. You meet them, that's magic. Thai magic, only reserved for those who are open to it. For the down-to-earth Dutchman a minjd set of 180 '. But after 6 trips through the country I have really got the taste: totally addicted.
I once met a girl who worked in a bar in Pattaya, but it was very short-lived. she worked behind the bar because she just came from the Isaan and wouldn't come into contact with customers yet. You may now think hhihihii that comes straight from another bar. This was not the case and when this rookie got through what was meant to happen in the future, she went back home and never saw this beautiful girl again …… :(