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Home » Reader question » Reader question: My girlfriend has lent money but won't get it back
Dear readers,
My Thai girlfriend has lent money to a friend of hers. They have been friends for 7 years. She asked for 20.000 baht, but my girlfriend lent 10.000 baht (interest-free) as a favor to friends and that for the first time. It's been a few months now and now she wants her money back.
According to that friend, she sent it back through Truemoney's Truewallet. But my girlfriend didn't receive anything. She's probably lying. She often doesn't respond to Line messages either.
What can my girlfriend do to get her money back but the police step in?
Regards,
Arthur
The police are generally concerned with investigating criminal offences.
Failure to pay or repay a debt is not a criminal offence.
There is, however, a civil law conflict.
That's what lawyers and civil courts are for.
In this matter, it is important to establish what date and method of repayment was agreed. In principle, your friend will have to prove that she has lent the money to her friend and that the date for repayment has passed. If she succeeds, it is then up to her friend to demonstrate that she has fulfilled the resulting obligation.
For € 250 it is of course a rather academic matter and I would let the ladies fight it out among themselves according to good practice.
Since your girlfriend has only borrowed half of the requested amount, it is certainly possible that someone else has borrowed an amount and may not have received it back. If they find out who that is, they might be able to work together.
I certainly wouldn't get involved in it. Wealthy farang who deals with typical Thai home garden and kitchen problems can sometimes go wrong.
Borrowed is given in Thailand Forget it
Not returning borrowed money is certainly not an abnormal phenomenon within a Thai circle of friends, family or acquaintances! There is no point in going to the police, your girlfriend just has to take her loss!
My wife always says: "Sugarcane you put in mouth from elephant you never get back".
Furthermore, lying is very common to prevent loss of face. That girlfriend will never admit it.
The motto is never to lend (a lot of) money. Friendships in Thailand are only for mutual benefit.
Unlike with us, friendships often come and go quickly, even if you have known someone for 10 years.
Is rife there.. and usually they take the loss I've noticed (even at higher amounts).. and some lie to get it and get away with it... End of so-called friendship.
I learned myself that I only give and never borrow. I always tell them that I only give that once and only for something that I see as a good cause or a good investment. And indeed for € 1 I would refrain from interfering as a farang. Give your girlfriend 250 baht every month because she does something really well and after a year she will have earned back the loan herself. You both happy.
After 20 years of Thailand, I know
If you lend money to a Thai, you lose it
you better give it as a gift
Forget the 10.000 baht and leave that “girlfriend” behind. They have girlfriends within a very short time, but the friendship can also be over, has to do with loss of face again. They often lie very easily.
best one puts mutual loans. with repayment terms and interest on paper and have this registered on the amphur. Then you can go to the civil court and demand a refund. or the borrower is convicted, even with imprisonment. The guarantors can also be held liable. That is why you never provide guarantor for a loan in Thailand.
Well,
Why does a Thai borrow money? because they have no money, how can they pay it back?
Set rule 1 in Thailand; never lend money to friends and family.
Yes, they sometimes need money very urgently, because the leasing company is on its way to pick up the car or something. Then let them work for it, for example by having the laundry done for a number of months (depending on the amount) or painting the house, or maintaining the garden for a year, or taking a shower with her (the borrowing party). going to have your back washed for several months. The prudish Thai doesn't know how soon she has to leave the house and will never ask for money again.
Your girlfriend has a farang, so pay that running ATM, because what you don't know is that your girlfriend has boasted a lot about how much money you have. My experience is that you always lose it.
Gerrit
Yes, money is talked about a lot. I am in a small village in Uttaradit. Is the story going around that on the wedding day the farang gave the parents 1 million bath. This as Sinsod. My mother-in-law is asked how much I actually paid. Answer mothers You have seen my new truck and the renovation? Well I would have paid that. (NO REALLY NOT) Well cooperated.
During one of the many beer evenings with the relevant Farang (is retired and comes from Nurnberg) I asked him about the sinsod. His answer. “Me and my girlfriend (wife) bought out the in-laws for the house. Now 100% in my wife's name.
The house will soon be completely renovated on her (his wife has had a full-time job in Germany for 6 years). She has saved 25.000 euros for this. Is 4250 Euro or so per year???
But his father-in-law will brag to my mother-in-law how much money the German has. Get paid from a disability insurance of just under 1400 Euros per month. Fortunately, according to him, he has already paid off the house in Germany for about 5 years. Oh further in Germany he drives a Seat Arosa.
So bragging about it is also a good thing.
I have been living in Thailand for almost 10 years now. From day 1 I have used the statement: I don't lend money to anyone (!!). I sometimes give (!!) money.
That works best. Don't you ever have this kind of problem.
And oh yes, I don't give anything to people who explicitly ask for it.
By the way, I didn't lend money to anyone in the Netherlands either. Except 1 x to a brother-in-law 35 years ago. That money has yet to come back.
Never lend money because you will never get it back. Better give if you can afford it. When people ask to borrow money, including family, then I don't have it or it's on a fix account.
In Thailand money is like the water in the rivers, it only flows in one direction. The chance that the water in the river will flow in the opposite direction is slightly greater than that money will flow back.
I read it's the first time. Great chance to let it be the last time too.
Think of it as a cheap lesson. End of a friendship that really wasn't one.
Usually the lending of such amounts in the circle of friends or family is done on a personal basis of trust.
That is, there is nothing in writing, and if the money is not paid back, you can usually call it quits.
My wife lent 5000 Baht to her niece a few years ago, and because the repayment took a very long time, she carefully asked about a possible repayment.
Although of course my wife had every right to inquire, the niece reacted so offended that to this day she refuses to talk to my wife.
I have now taught my wife that with her goodness she has actually been punished twice, namely money gone and also the relative concerned.
The best thing about such loans is to provide collateral, and if this is not accepted by the borrower, then Tschock die, pai tanakaan diekwaa.
What you can do is go to a lawyer and have a “ทวงหนี้” , or subpoena sent through a lawyer. This costs only 200/300 baht. Some are quite happy about that and pay. If this is not the case, forget it because hiring a lawyer to get your money back costs at least as much as the loan amount. And you can't recover those costs.
If I read this well-known story like this you will get off with a hiss. There are many farangs who have added an extra zero to the amount, and have never seen a satang again.
You become wiser through damage and shame, don't you.
I don't lend to anyone not Thai and certainly not other farangs.
Jan Beute.
Not only with Thai, I once helped a Dutchman out of the (fire), who had some loans afterwards, no one has had his money back. Then he asked me through a friend, my rack no to pay back, of course he has my rack no because of the deposit. Since this friend is still in contact with him, I asked if he could pass on that I don't need the money back and that he is nothing to me. Finished
In Thailand, “borrow” and “give” are just one and the same word. Yes, linguistically and in terms of official meaning perhaps not, but a Thai experiences it as the same. If the money goes from the lender to the borrower, he has it in his hand, and then it is his money. Just write off that 10.000 Baht. Actually, it is a relatively cheap lesson too. This is Thailand….
This is about lending money to a Thai. But does the reader think that lending money to a farang, may still be a compatriot, is better? The chance that you will never see the money again is just as great as if you lent it to Thai. Lending money doesn't make friends, you just lose them.
Totally agree Addie. Lending money is simply a risk. Advance a tenner should still be possible, but a thousand euros is already becoming more difficult. It's not easy for anyone to pick up on that. For really serious amounts, a sensible money lender also wants to see collateral (land, gold, ...). Financial situation/skills and personal attitude of those involved will largely determine whether the money will be returned. To attribute this to rationality is absurd. Now the average Thai is tighter in finances than any Dutch or Belgian, and therefore with greater risk. Thai don't know friends? I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at such statements.
And the questioner doesn't get much out of it. He now only knows that going to the police is pointless (in the Netherlands you don't go there for 100 euros), a civil case is not worth the costs (in the Netherlands either). The only original contribution is to have a letter drawn up by a lawyer (you could also do this in the Netherlands). But more likely it is that money and friendship have flown. However, that has nothing to do with a 'Thai mentality'.
You lost that money. Giving is better than borrowing indeed…the neighbor once came for a loan of XNUMX baht a few years ago for medicines she urgently needed, I gave her that but with the story that we never lend money to friends because we don't argue want to refund. So she knows that if she knocks again, it will again be about a gift, and that would be begging = loss of face. They usually don't want that. No further requests since then.
My wife and I sometimes lend money (small amounts) to Thais here in the soi, to people we meet every day and therefore know reasonably well, never to 'strangers', and never to people in the soi who doing the wrong things like gambling (or paying off gambling debts) or drinking. We always get the money back.