Dear readers,

Soon I will be going to Thailand for three weeks for a holiday. That's my first time. Now I am not only going for a holiday but I would also like to meet a Thai woman.

I have been reading your blog for a while and I think a Thai woman suits me better than a Dutch one. I still have 5 years before my retirement and after that I also want to live in Thailand. However, to go there alone without anyone waiting for me, that doesn't seem like anything to me.

Now my question is how and where can I meet marriageable Thai women. I'm not much of a bar type. Don't care about booze and don't smoke. Furthermore, I am only three weeks in Thailand and that is of course short for an introduction. How have other Dutch men done that?

I don't find anything through internet dating, I want to be able to look someone in the eye.

Do you have tips and advice for me? Are there dance evenings for single people in Thailand? And how do I get there?

Best regards,

Harrie

30 responses to “Reader question: Holiday and entering into a relationship with a Thai, is that possible?”

  1. Stefan says up

    Internet dating could be a good bet. Ladies over 35 are usually not looking for an adventure.

    In your place I would try to keep in touch with five ladies. Have one pick you up at the airport. Avoid ladies from Pattaya and Bangkok. This reduces the chance that the lady will come out of the bar scene.

    Make sure you are always in control of the situation. Use your common sense. Open your heart, but use your common sense. Keep your finger on the pulse. Then you will find out more quickly whether money is more important to her or not.

    Good luck!

    • Erik says up

      Make sure you are always in control of the situation... and you say that to a rookie... 555 that will probably never work with a Thai woman or any woman with sense.

    • bebe says up

      I don't know what circles some people move in in Thailand, but why should one avoid women from Bangkok?
      There are indeed many women from the capital on the well-known dating sites and some are looking for a sponsor, but many are middle-class women who have normal occupations such as sales assistants, government officials, in the banking sector, etc….
      It is a matter of separating the wheat from the chaff.
      A well-groomed appearance, which means personal hygiene, dressing neatly, and behaving like a gentleman can help you a lot with this.
      So no shirts without sleeves and shorts and flip flops .
      Good luck on your search and don't jump into the wedding boat with just the first one.

  2. Franky says up

    Hello Harry,
    A year ago I had the exact same question. I met a friend there then, went back last month and she will be coming here for three weeks soon. I will be happy to share my experiences with you but writing everything down is too long for me, sorry. If you email to [email protected] do you get my phone number.

  3. Eric de Werk says up

    Dear Harry,

    Go to Pattaya Tai, the Bamboo Bar, success guaranteed. The Thai women go there especially to score a farang. The thicker your wallet, the more beautiful the woman, it doesn't matter what you look like. I hope you have enough people skills to separate the wheat from the chaff and wish you the best of luck!

  4. Robbie says up

    Harry, do I understand that correctly? You are only in Thailand for 3 weeks but you will only live there in 5 years?? So you want to get to know a woman within 3 weeks and then you expect her to wait 5 years for you? If you offer to support that woman for those 5 years, they ALL will. So there's no problem finding one! Don't like a bar? Well, that's no problem. Here in Pattaya, hundreds of women are waiting for a man like you every day. Enough choice! You can look them all in the eye and propose. Don't be afraid Harry. As long as you maintain them for 5 years, they all want to wait for you, to have a lasting relationship with you afterwards. So you really don't have to worry that no one is waiting for you. Good luck with it.

  5. Cu Chulainn says up

    If you do want to get rid of your money, then I suggest that you use your money to help the less fortunate in Thailand, or if you are an animal lover, give your money to some animal activists because there is still a lot in Thailand in that area. much wrong. Of course you can also tell the first lady that you are rich and are looking for a partner. In both cases you can lose your money that way. Thailand is beautiful in nature, but is romanticized too much through the eyes of the rich farang who does not live the life of the average Thai, but rather the life of the rich colonial from our colonial past.

  6. Joe the farmer says up

    Hey Harry, come over here, we live 2 hours from Bangkok. There are some nice women here that I would like to introduce you to.

  7. ron says up

    Dear Harry,
    Don't be confused, the ladies will get in touch with you. They are waiting for you with open arms.

    Good luck. Ron.

  8. Jos says up

    @ Harry
    My wife from Khon Kaen has a nice friend of 45 who also wants a farang.
    Send me an email and I'll send you a picture of the girlfriend.
    jomel(@) chello.nl

    • John Tebbes says up

      I am also very curious. What to do ?? Do you object to me also sending an email, you never know. Thank you.

  9. Jan says up

    For the first 3 weeks to Thailand and already think that a Thai woman suits you better than a Dutch one? Looking for a relationship with a marriageable Thai woman takes time, a lot of time. I don't think it will work in 3 weeks. Just go on holiday to this beautiful country, enjoy nature, enjoy the delicious meals, you still have 5 years before you retire. With older men like us, time is our worst enemy, we don't have that long to go. We are no longer among the youngest, many Thai ladies also see that and it is often no problem for them. It is not about love and affection, the money that a farang brings is often their only motivation to enter into a relationship. Obviously there are exceptions to this, but finding them is really not possible in 3 weeks. Again, enjoy your vacation and don't rush anything. Very unexpectedly you will really meet a sweet Thai woman, something I wish you wholeheartedly ..

    • Jan H says up

      An excellent response from Jan that I fully agree with, and if I were you Harry then I would take the advice that you Jan gives you to heart.
      Because it's true I'm also your age and for a lot of ladies in Thailand age is no problem as long as you maintain them.
      Harry you are going to Thailand for the first time so you don't know the country, and the only experience you have is what you have read on this blog?
      Then I have my reservations because you want to meet a marriageable Thai woman in three weeks, and you already know that you want to live there in five years.
      Hopefully you will go with a travel organization, if you go on your own then you should not forget that the people here speak little or no English, I would advise you to go and have a look in Hua Hin, it is centrally located and here live and many pensioners from the Netherlands hibernate.
      Here's another tip also take a look at Thai festivals in the Netherlands, here you can get a lot of information from people who are known in Thailand. These festivals are held every year in The Hague / Amsterdam / Almere.
      Happy Holidays

  10. will lehmler says up

    I think the thailovelinks dating site is a great option to start from the Netherlands. They are not usually bar ladies and all serious looking. It will cost you 50 euros per year, plenty of choice, and no profile is fake. live in phuket myself and have great experiences with it. wish you success

    • Pat says up

      Hello Lehmler
      I read that you live in Phuket. Coincidentally, I met a woman from the center of Thailand through the internet who works in Phuket. Her children live with her sister in the farmer's hole where she comes from, somewhere "in the middle of nowhere". She actually literally fell under my nose because she regularly comments on the Facebook of a Thai friend who lives here in Belgium with a friend of mine. She looked like a very nice lady in the picture, so I decided to invite her to become friends. Very soon it was about her situation, that she is poor and that she just manages to survive with her work in Phuket and to send living money home. She is 36 years old, has two children aged 12 and 14 respectively. She speaks very little English so communication is mostly over Google translater helping me with the Thai script. You get it already.. not easy and certainly not always translated correctly. She soon started looking for a relationship and was willing to do anything and everything to be able to live with me in Belgium. I've never been to Thailand myself and I don't know if I want to. I am especially concerned about the snakes and spiders and the medical care.
      She, for her part, would be willing to settle in Belgium and, if possible, also work here. So far she hasn't asked for money, but I think she will sooner or later. I wish she would learn English so that we can prove to the government here that we can talk to each other. At my request, she immediately enrolled in a school where she will learn English. I looked up that school myself on the internet and paid for the lessons directly with my credit card. I've known her quite recently. With your “experience”; what do you think? Do you think this is a serious candidate to build a relationship with and share my life with? She is willing to leave her children with her sister. But that shouldn't be such a disaster I guess, given their age. By the time we get everything done here, the kids will be grown up. In the meantime, they would be a useful element to get her a tourist visa for Belgium on a regular basis, I think.

  11. hans-ajax says up

    Dear Harry, I have been living together in Thailand for six years now and have been married to a Thai woman since last month, we, that is, my wife can possibly. find someone for you if you appreciate it, there are a few candidates for hands here. If you are interested let me know, you can reach me via my email address [email protected] and even better via skype, my skypename is Hans-ajax, and yes I am from the Netherlands. Greetings from Pattaya, Thailand and I see.

  12. qmax says up

    Moderator: Too many generalizations. That is against our house rules.

  13. Daniel says up

    Read previous blog. All women are the same, they say. And read the reactions of the men who married a Thai.
    I have my own thoughts on this.

  14. harry says up

    good advice is not expensive
    if you still have 5 years to decide which woman you want use it, I assume you go there at least once a year now.
    make sure you use those 3 weeks well from your given profile I don't know whether you plan (or want) to live in a city (tourist part) or in the countryside (is often boring quiet quiet and the lack knowledge of Thai language and vice versa English means that you have to have angelic patience and be very understanding in certain situations… Thai families often strip you quickly when it comes to money, you will have to be a bit accommodating whether you like it or not, but always have to be careful that they do not spend more than your maximum amount of money… my experience is that there are very good Thai women who really mean it to you, but also vice versa, you should immediately dump them…
    don't keep saying it will be better tomorrow because it won't happen....
    every thailand farang can confirm that…
    Thai people do not look at age, but do not think that is normal, it remains a money picture….
    I give an example: if you are beautiful yourself, the most beautiful ladies will easily come with you for only a few 100 baths, but if you are less beautiful, the price will quickly increase, if you are ugly, they will immediately want a high amount…. These females don't want you...
    Don't think that on your first time in Thailand you can just go out with one or more ladies without them asking you for money... After all, they live from it and they have to for their children and their demanding families...
    a woman you meet will quickly want to introduce you to that family... nothing wrong with that, but it will cost you money.... Preferably you take some food with you, fish etc., it doesn't cost much so... why not... and afterwards when you go back to your seaside resort/hotel or something
    they also expect some kind of donation in the form of baths
    don't give too much because then they will be indignant next time if you give less…. ask your Thai woman separately what you should give if necessary and if she proposes a high amount then it is not right... then she is not being honest with you... you can choose not to get to know her family right away, but if you decide with If you want her to move on, it is best to do so immediately... otherwise you will soon have a sweetheart of a Thai with a family that will ruin you...
    and don't think you can get away with it, the culture is that way there and you have to go along with it if you want to live there…. another tip, don't buy a house/apartment or rent anything because officially you can't own anything there... A friend of mine has already lost a home twice like this…. a Thai woman died and his family threw him out of the house...

    read thailandblog as much as possible and remember that the real work is only there... not everyone can settle into the culture there... it is the land of smiles but there is also a lot of misery hidden and you will always remain a farang to them even if you live there until your death between...
    maybe I'm putting this too negative that's not my intention it's a beautiful country but
    it has lousy laws and rules and you have to keep using your brain to avoid getting ripped off on every street corner…

    in short…. the right Thai woman will support you and will always be there for you and will even help you keep her family away from you. If you find a Thai woman like that, you will be happy... just go there and talk to every woman who catches your interest. That is normal, but never offend anyone, respect everyone…. and then they will do the same to you... you are not a man with a good heart if you are always throwing your money around... then they don't even appreciate you... you are a man with a heart of gold in their eyes if you respect them and show that you care about them and that can be done just as well with a 50 cent bead necklace as with a 20000 bath gold chain...

  15. Wesley says up

    Dear Harry,

    Going to Thailand for the first time is quite an experience. You indicate that you have been reading this blog for quite some time. So you will have already received most of the “tips”.

    Unfortunately, things usually go differently in practice than in theory. For a first holiday in Thailand and meeting the Thai culture / women, it is especially advisable to enjoy it first. And don't focus too much on a relationship.

    Get to know the country, culture and women. They are not that different from Dutch women. Most women want a good life and a house tree animal.

    For a real relationship with a Thai woman, it is desirable that you have some knowledge of the Thai culture and language. But luckily you still have 5 years to do this. Time that you will certainly need to orient yourself within Thai society.

    For most men, the first contact with a Thai woman starts in a bar. The concept of “bar” is slightly different in Thailand than in the Netherlands. But it's still the easiest way to make contacts. As long as you keep in mind that these are women and you treat them as such, they will do more for you than they would do for any other “customer”. Just indicate clearly in advance what you want. So that no later confusion can arise.

    You indicate that you are not much of a bar type. And don't care about booze. Don't forget that Thailand is a warm country. And it is advisable to drink enough. Even if this is Coke.

    For the rest, I wish you a nice holiday. And I hope that you will gain some nice experiences and impressions. Something Thailand can certainly offer you.

  16. Harrie says up

    Dear fellow bloggers,

    Thanks for your many responses.

    I can't comment on everyone personally. I noticed that a number of people advised me to go online dating, while I had already said that I did not want that.

    I also don't expect a Thai lady to wait 5 years for me to ask if she comes here and can go there more often.

    Many comments about the money problem. I'm certainly aware of that, but thanks for the tips.

    When I asked if there are such things as single evenings like in the Netherlands, I have had no response.

    I was helped a bit further, but the golden tip for me was not there yet.

    Thank you all,

    Harrie

  17. Erwin Fleur says up

    Dear Harry,
    If I were you I would first let the Thai life come over you
    before you start looking for a thai woman.
    What has already been said here, the Thai women will come to you.
    For now, watch the cat out of the tree and learn what Thailand has to offer.
    Good luck.
    Greetings, Erwin

  18. Jan H says up

    Dear Harry,

    I have never seen single evenings in Thailand, I don't think they are there, it is not really necessary to organize such evenings here.
    You will notice that you will be approached in the craziest places such as shops/temples/markets etc. if you are seen as a farang alone.
    I have a Thai wife myself and even then people sometimes ask my wife if we belong together.
    You're not a bar type like me, and you don't have to be you don't have to go to a bar to meet nice people, you'll see there are plenty of museums or show nights and festivities and so on, good luck again and enjoy a very nice holiday of it.

    Sincerely,
    Jan H

  19. GerrieQ8 says up

    I have only experienced standing evenings. That was in a bar where they had no stools or chairs. Everyone had to stand! just kidding

    • Daniel says up

      They exist. Have already experienced them yourself, the teaching from the region is invited to a dance evening with dining facility. The unattached ladies have the chance to meet a partner.

  20. LOUISE says up

    Hello Harry,

    For the first time to Thailand. quite exciting.
    But hold on.
    Do you want to find the one and only the first time you are here. maintain it for 5 years until you can come and live here??
    Just come here with an open mind (read sense) and let the whole Thailand thing gently wash over you.
    You can also see how things are going here.
    As a walking or sitting alone farang, trust me, you won't be alone for long.
    But first try to understand how everything works here without wanting the first one to be your soul-mate for live.
    Enjoy the weather and all the possibilities.
    Greetings,
    Louise

  21. Rick says up

    If you have never been to Thailand, why do you think that Thai women are for you and you want to live there.
    I don't understand that thought, maybe you're making it a little too romantic in your head?

    • Cu Chulainn says up

      I agree with you, strangely I'm the only one. However, it strikes me that the fairy tale of “the land of smiles” must be preserved at all costs. Anyone who describes Thai abuses is invariably told that it is much worse in the West. The Thai woman is raised to supernatural proportions and almost divine gifts are attributed to her when I read Thailand blog. Life in Thailand is also often considered a paradise on earth, but this is of course in the eyes of the expat/retiree who lives there with a Dutch pension and benefits in a villa with a swimming pool, staff in the house and a large pick-up . That's not how the average Thai lives. The need to overromanticize the land of smiles probably lies in the fact that in this way people tell themselves that they have made the right choice by leaving the bad NL and having exchanged for the country with a smile. Another favel that must be maintained. Age difference between a farang man and a Thai is a problem in the bad West. People always think narrowly in the West. However, I have never had this problem, but I do know from my wife that in Asia a woman does get certain comments thrown at her, but the farang does not understand them, so people are always very tolerant in Thailand.

      • Daniel says up

        Somewhere above I write that I have my own opinion on that. You display it approximately here. Too many men here look too much through rose-colored glasses. And oh woe if you point their nose at reality. Then there are many reactions. I have learned here to read only and to filter out my own opinion. I also live here in CM, but I spend a lot of time with the ordinary Thai people who live here and work for meager wages. It's more about trying to survive. I read somewhere here of someone who needs at least 100000 BT per month to live here. They will live in one of those compounds with a big villa, swimming pool and security and an even thicker wall around the neighborhood.
        Open your eyes and see the reality of the lives of the majority of the population.

  22. JW. Marquis says up

    Yes, there are dance evenings for single people in Thailand, but then you really have to go to a bar, the ladies love sanuk (cozy) and not only an unclear chat is part of it, they really like a dance, you can look them in the eye right away . I don't know where you are going exactly in TH, but I like to go to Cha am, there is entertainment but not excessive, and I met a lot of nice people there in the happy bar and I got a nice buddy from that, was there for 3 months and going again next year for 2 months, would say come over and i'll be your guide (am a bar type so will cost you a few beers haha) cho dee kap JW.


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