Dear readers,
Ten years ago I married a Thai lady with a three-year-old daughter. The girl is now 14 years old and has been living with me for the last two years. She used to live with her grandmother and came to my house on weekends and holidays. Why she doesn't live with her father or mother and no longer with her grandmother I leave aside for a moment.
Mother comes by now and then and then disappears again. Same with her father. Comes over, gives her some money and disappears again. Well, father and his family recently announced orally that his daughter can continue to live with me. Meanwhile, mother was standing in front of the gate yesterday with the announcement that I could keep the child and if I wanted to adopt. She would draw whatever it took.
Now I have a problem. I can only adopt the child if the age difference between the child to be adopted and the adoptive parent is not greater than 25 years. Since I am 71 years old and the girl is 14 years old, this is not possible. However, I will have to have proof that I am taking care of the child because the parents are unable, or unwilling, to do it themselves.
Are there people who have also ended up in such a situation? And how did they solve this? Who can advise me?
Regards,
French
Hello French,
No answer to your question. but just wanted to commend you for taking over the care of the people who have only had one egg come together with another.
I hope you get a helpful response to this blog, which can make your wish come true.
Hat.
LOUISE
Dear French,
I feel sorry for you…I see many similarities with my turbulent past.
But it is still wiser if you start thinking more rationally. Because if you look around you you will see plenty of examples of "having come for coffee".
You do everything "right".
If you just keep playing the good guy or “Jai-Dee” you can't do anything wrong. What do you have to lose then??
We can't change the Thai culture CQ lifestyle …….
It suits them well. And all parties are happy. In addition, Thai law, insofar as it may apply, will never be of use to you.
Do your best French, and let your heart speak.
Enjoy life in “our Paradise”.
John
I think you could be in serious trouble if the government finds out that you - I assume alone - are living in the house with an underage girl who is not your own daughter.
Dear Ruud. I don't think I'm waiting for a pointing finger. I ask for help how to get the right papers. So that with these papers and witnesses I can convince the government to take care of a minor girl.
Ruud, how many grandfathers raise their granddaughters! She does not want to provide a living, my friend was also raised by her grandfather, she was in the same boat, also abandoned by her parents, at a very young age , has become a fine girl.
For the Thai government, there is a world of difference between a Thai child who is raised by a Thai family, grandpa, grandma, uncle and aunt… and a child who lives with a foreign farang.
A foreigner, who, if I read the piece like this, apparently has no more connection with the child than that he has been married to the mother for a few years.
Then you have to be careful.
In the Netherlands, too, you would probably get child protection at your door.
In Tgailand it often happens that someone who is not a family member takes care of a minor child. With the best intentions and without any reservations and consent from parents and or family. It would be different if someone made a fuss, but that doesn't happen and so there is nothing wrong with Frans' story, on the contrary, because older squabbles are also heard in Thailand.
What I do want to convey is the cultural aspect of family, the elderly and inheritance. Don't know the background of Frans but often hear that older men are loved because soon an inheritance will be available. In Thailand, people think differently than in the Netherlands, where the children often have to fend for themselves. In Thailand, someone over the age of 50 and with considerable capital for Thai people is already an attractive candidate because a pension will also become available later and then often a partner's pension and later than the inheritance. All this can be a reason for the family to let a child grow up with an outsider, because that way the inheritance is assured. You will not get to hear the underlying story, but why both parents give permission makes you wonder, because usually there is no consultation, but care takes place in harmony and tacitly, because to avoid an uncomfortable situation, care by a non-family member will not be discussed directly.
well,
Yet I agree with Ruud, Thailand is a "weird" country, today like that, tomorrow sister.
If you have the stamp of living together with a minor, then you must be very good in your shoes.
Follow Danny's way, get it notarized before the police show up at your door.
Would say hire a good lawyer and draw up a letter in Thai together, have it signed by both parents, by the time the girl is an 18-year-old girl she can and may decide for herself where she wants to live with.
I am in a similar situation.
I am a foster parent of a child who lives with me since he was 7. Every situation is different of course.
I have notarized that I care for the child with full parental consent.
I also had things recorded in a will in connection with possible inheritance.
I have been involved in a court case concerning the child.
My name was on all the documents, but the judge had no problem with me caring for the child.
Adoption is not possible and I didn't want to start because of the enormous paperwork that comes with it.
So my advice is to contact a good lawyer.
Success!
I am 65 and officially adopted my partner's adult daughter in 2016 and my Thai partner's minor daughter between 2017-2019 (adoption approved in January).
I can provide you with information about the procedure,
Dear Eugene. I would like to use the adoption procedure. My e-mail address can be requested from the editors for which I give my permission. Thanks in advance. Regards Frans
[for the editors of Thailandblog]
I am Belgian, 65, living in Thailand. I started the adoption procedure in 2017 for my partner's minor daughter. If you are interested I can make a report of the different steps I had to take. Adoption was approved in January. On 29/5 I have to bring everything into the Belgian embassy. This will be sent to Belgium for inspection. If everything is in order, the daughter will automatically also receive Belgian nationality.
Please.
Eugene,
I also have two stepsons that I would like to adopt, can you tell me how everything works and what procedures must be followed.
The editors can and may send you my e-mail address,
Thanks in advance.
Luc
eugene, am interested in this. Can you send a report please? stevenvanleuwarden [at] yahoo.com
Frans, what you could try is to present the whole situation to the village head and ask him to mediate to get the child registered in your name with of course the full cooperation of mother, father, grandpa and grandma etc. The village head will no doubt be aware of your care of the child to date and your nearest neighbors will be able to confirm that and even the other residents of the place where you live. Then with the girl, village chief, parents, grandparents and possibly village elders, etc., go to the district office to talk to the manager on duty there to get things registered.
I don't know if it will work, but it's worth a try!
In any case, I wish you a lot of success with the further care of your “daughter”.
Ceesw.
In a similar situation, but in Poland I gave birth to my son, then 10, on the advice of the Dutch registry office in my hometown.” “I don't know if that is also possible here, but an hour later I had a Dutch passport for him . To authenticate is to recognize the child as my child.
.
And he immediately had my name