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Home » Reader question » Reader question: My Thai date sends me Bible verses, is that normal?
Dear readers,
I've been communicating with a Thai woman for a while now, it's always superficial. She's single and around 45 years old, certainly doesn't work in a bar or anything. Soon I will go to Thailand myself and she wants to see me immediately. Booked that trip before I knew her.
Now what strikes me she seems very religious, keeps sending me texts from the Bible and pictures and so on. I myself am an atheist and to be honest it really bothers me even though we barely know each other. Have you ever thought about saying this flatly, good idea or not? I do not understand if you hardly know each other, you will not immediately send texts about the bible, etc.?
Is this normal for some Thai women, does anyone have experience with such a situation?
Yours faithfully,
Jan
Dear Jan. You barely know each other. Those Biblical things, seem like compulsive behavior, will only cause (more) problems. And no, this is not normal for a Thai woman at all. Not even for a European woman, right?
Confront her, just tell her it bothers you.
Or ask why she does that; it's not a missionary?
Good luck!
Dear Jan,
It is indeed something very strange. I have never met a Christian Thai or Thai in all these years. Are you sure she's Thai and not -accidentally- Filipino?
Furthermore, after reading your story, I would keep the lady in question at a considerable distance. In any case, if the contact has remained 'superficial', and you suddenly hear Biblical texts.
It bothers you. That seems like a good, instinctive response to me. If you already disturb the other person via email…
If you still want to meet her, I'd do it in a public place. a restaurant or something. She doesn't need to know where you stay.
Suspicious? Maybe, but I could tell you another story or three about "wrong encounters." I've been able to keep the change so far.
Just my experience.
The three R's that are showstoppers for me; Smoking, Religion and Red Light District.
The majority of the Thai population is Buddhist. You just hit that 'one' Christian.
My experience; what annoys you now is where your relationship will end later (if it does)
As a fellow atheist I say; find something else 😉
Yes, I thought this was strange too, here is an example of what I receive every day” http://bible.com/12/1co2.9 but as it is written, Things which eye saw not, and ear heard not, And which entered not into the heart of man, Whatsoever things God prepared for them that love him. ”
What I also noticed was that she was very quick to give her mobile number, usually women don't do this. I've already googled her number and her name, both Thai and European, but I can't find anything there
Furthermore, I do regularly receive photos of her, there is nothing suspicious about it now, anyway glad I found this forum, thanks for the advice anyway, I will keep you posted
Well, where I live there is otherwise a large Catholic Church with all the trimmings, church bells and more of that fun. There is also a Christian Community in my soi (difficult name) so there are indeed Thai Christians in Thailand. As far as I know there is also a Catholic Church in Pattaya.
My Thai cousin is Christian.
I also know several Thai people in the Netherlands who have adopted the Christian faith.
I knew one who sang in the church choir.
In Bangkok on the Skytrain I was surprised at Christmas by a Christian choir who started singing Christmas carols.
There is a Christian school in Udon.
Every year I meet some members of the American Jesus People (recognizable by their suit and tie).
Apparently Christianity is more alive in Thailand than the average thailand goer thinks.
I'm more into Buddhism myself.
Dear Jan,
Let's not have a discussion - with Western eyes - about what is normal in this country. I know Buddhist Thai women who believe that their happiness depends on preparing food early every day for the neighborhood monk who comes by at 6 o'clock, hanging themselves with (sometimes expensive) amulets, laying and reading cards (no clover coats) and daily horoscope games.
Christians are a minority in Thailand but are just as normal as Thais who follow a different religion. I live in Bangkok and regularly meet Christians. In my condo building live some Thai women (age 35-50 years) who have converted to the Christian faith. The reason why is also interesting for you. These women, not bar types and not interesting as a new permanent partner for a Thai man, think through church (and faithfully going to services on Sunday; the neighborhood supermarket is therefore closed on Sunday until about 2 o'clock in the afternoon) a foreign man to find. That's actually not so crazy after all. The Christian men who visit the church are mainly foreigners, still (strongly) religious, have been living here for some time and sometimes speak a little Thai.
It is therefore not surprising to me that your contact sends so many Biblical texts. She must think you're as Bible-savvy as the foreign men she sees at church every week. In addition, she probably has very few other contacts with foreign men.
Just keep this in mind when you meet her.
The downside is that if she strictly adheres to all the rules, she is against premarital sex. Still something to keep in mind I think 😉
Hi Peter Kuhn,
Thai are quite practical people. Just as the vast majority of Thais do not strictly follow the rules of Buddhism, Christian women are not strict in Christian teachings. They mainly go to church to meet men, not to pray.
Dear Khun Peter, what you consider a disadvantage, no sex before marriage, can be an advantage for someone else. Everyone has their own values. Understand that you are joking about it, but it is still important to respect other people's / woman's views as much as possible, whereby I do not claim to know the Thai lady's view on premarital sex. I would like to tell the questioner Jan to communicate clearly to the lady in question. If you have not let it be known after the first Bible text that you have nothing to do with such texts, she may think she is doing you a favor. So tell her you're not religious. The times that someone has wished me, also in Thailand, God Bless You, are innumerable. I don't have anything with it but I'm not looking for anything behind it, the intention is good anyway. If you can communicate nicely with each other and you still feel like meeting each other on your vacation, I would just do that. If it doesn't click then there is no man overboard, but maybe it is a beautiful person. Anyway, wish you a happy holiday!
Well, what's normal? Most people in the Netherlands or Thailand will not send prayer cards and such, but that does not mean that it is not "normal" if someone does. Just follow your gut, meeting her once can't hurt I think. Then you feel quickly enough whether there is something mutual or whether you think she's just a strange bird in real life (or she's a strange guy to you 😉). Does she know that you are not a believer, let alone a Christian and it does not affect you? Then if she tries to convert you I'd be gone. But if she is an average believer (of whatever faith), then there is not necessarily anything wrong with that, it just depends on how you deal with both in practice: Do you believe loosely or are you super fanatical? "You" is meant here in general. Someone who has gone crazy doesn't seem fun to me, whether that's Christian faith or spiritualism, for example... So just meet and follow your feeling. For now I would neatly indicate that I'm not religious and that I don't get excited about prayer cards... If she reacts to that in your eyes, then you know enough.
I once drove around Nongkhai and photographed the churches. People go to church here and not just to temple.
Catholics, Baptists, Jehovah's Witnesses with a Kingdom Hall, Muslims with a Mosque, Mormons, you will find them all among the majority who are Buddhist.
I would like to advise Jan to just tell that lady what he thinks of those bible texts. Be clear then it will be clear to her that you cannot be converted.
from your question whether this is normal with Thai women, I understand that you have no experience with Thai women (and have not been to Thailand before?)
This woman will start claiming you as soon as you get to Thailand and it will be hard to get rid of her I think (a waste of your vacation time anyway).
If I were you I would stop contact, because you don't know her anyway, and you can't change her (even if you wanted to)
Go enjoy beautiful Thailand and the many beautiful Thai ladies, whom you will automatically meet there.
How did you come to that conclusion Mark? Even if you have personally dated dozens of (Thai) women who have dated stricter religious (Christian) women, that does not necessarily say anything about this woman. What exactly is this woman going to claim? Do you mean converting (it won't work and I don't think a relationship with a very fanatically religious person will work) or that she sees him as "hers"? In that case, someone is not following and you can easily break all contact. But we don't know what exactly this lady wants, what she really is like.
We don't know if she is really strictly religious, maybe she thinks Jan is and hopes to show that she knows "his faith" from A to Z. Show that you already know quite a lot about the other person's culture, religion, language, etc. and that you hope to please them by impressing them.
I would be careful and clearly indicate that you do not believe in a god or gods. Then she will have clarity. She may indeed be religious, but then it doesn't matter that she is Thai. Then a relationship won't work if your partner tries to impose his or her faith on you. But she could also be a lady who, as Chris says, hopes to find a man through the church, although I would be careful. Someone who judges based on origin is also unrealistic. “the Western” man is not perfect (jai dee, rich, generous), the Thai is not ideal. Everyone is unique. If someone thinks that “the Western man” will make her life better, they are sitting on a cloud and you also ask them, you may start to doubt whether it is about you as a person or what you are (or are supposed to be)... If someone says “I've always wanted a farang/Thai/.. as a partner,” some red lights should go on for the other person.
First let Jan politely indicate that he does not believe and that he would like to talk about faith and culture every now and then, that he also respects Christians and is fine with her if she wants to go to church, for example, but that he will not do that himself. . If she is a fanatic, Jan will notice that soon enough. Jan should simply go with his feelings, although it is better to make a better assessment of the other person face to face than via the internet. Perhaps this woman is indeed too far removed from him, perhaps she is trying to impress him in a way that is unfortunate for Jan, perhaps her attention is sincere, perhaps not. Follow your heart and if Jan thinks “this is not right (she is crazy, dominant, after my supposed prosperity, ...)” or “I don't want this (she is too religious, this clashes too much)” then he can always be free. easily break contact.
If he is indeed unlucky enough to encounter someone who is not entirely good in the upper room (claimant behavior, an intolerant religious fanatic who wants to convert forcibly, etc.), then I assume that Jan also knows that he would be better off traveling elsewhere and so he can still enjoy his holiday.
Rob,
That this woman will claim him, I wrote because she wants to see him immediately as soon as he is in Thailand (despite their superficial contact). (I think this is pre-claim behavior).
Despite their superficial contact, this woman keeps sending him Bible texts and Bible pictures. (I find this intrusive behavior, especially since Jan would not have reacted enthusiastically to this (I assume)).
I would immediately break contact to prevent all situations and miscommunication (if you are there in Thailand) (because she will not (want to) understand anyway,
There are so many nice and uncomplicated women in Thailand.
I would say: stop while you still can!
Maybe she thinks the Dutch are Catholic and is trying to impress you?
Tell her that you are an atheist and that those Biblical texts seem strange to you. Do this diplomatically as most Thais do. If you still have a good feeling about communication after this, I would not hesitate to meet her in a neutral place.
Thai ladies rarely cause problems. Exceptions confirm the rule.
Success!
Jan, better Bible verses than a request for money for her sick mother/father. Give it a chance and look at it, but let us know in advance that you are not religious. Have fun in the land of smiles. Ron.
Jan,
I myself have been married for 13 years to a Thai woman who is a sincere Christian. Have a very nice marriage. We also go to the Protestant Thai church every Sunday and that is a good experience. Just a big family. I myself only stick to the half hour of congregational singing, evangelical songs because I don't understand the sermon in the Thai language. My wife will stay until the service ends at 12 noon and then she will stay for a while, as we eat together on the church floor after all the chairs have been put aside. Then some conversations with each other because they come from different villages. Pretty good together.
So the Christian church in Thailand is a good thing for me in this case.
But for an atheist it can seem strange if a Thai sends Bible texts. I think it's a bit over the top, but okay. Can be quite a good reliable woman. Try it, you are under no obligation.
For us, being a Christian is not a straitjacket in Thai society. I feel very free in this living situation.
Jacob
That is certainly not normal. People who adhere to the Christian faith here in Thailand are in the minority. The vast majority of the population belongs to Buddhism. It seems to me that your date is a member of one of the (usually American or Australian) foundational faith missions, Dealing with your date when you are here in Thailand will have many restrictions so you may not come into contact with Thai people outside her circle.
Here in CM you have different Christian groups (sects). But I only know of one Catholic church. A few years ago I celebrated Christmas at an American church. With lots of singing, arm waving and an orchestra. Last year I met a group from the Samlan Road. What turned out to be a group of Mormons. They immediately tried to convert me too, but that was not for me.
I can do my own prayers better in a Buddhist than in all those different groups that show too much Christian division.
It only makes a relationship with another point of view complicated and very difficult.
John,
You might actually be able to meet the woman of your dreams. Many Thais are not only Buddhist (which is not a religion) but also Christian. Only in Pattaya are three Catholic churches that are full every Saturday and Sunday, especially the large St Nicholas Church. Many Thais visit the Thai Masses
the foreigners go to the english celebrations. There doesn't have to be anything wrong with your girlfriend - on the contrary……….
An explanation that I still miss is that Thais and Asians in general are very religious. That you are not a Buddhist is not so bad, because you with your culture may be Christian, but you have to be something. Not believing can be shocking to a Thai. He who does not believe is not a human being in that view.
On the other hand, for people who regard all religions as superstitions, it is also difficult to live with someone who is deeply religious. Most Thais are, whether it's the religion of evil spirits or the Buddha.
As for Peter's argument about no sex before marriage, I think there's an even bigger risk, which is "no sex after marriage." Maybe also a nice issue for a statement of the week.
Jan, I think that woman is a fanatical Christian, perhaps a Jeovah's Witness, who is trying to convert everyone and everything. I have also been confronted with this in the past. If it is one of those, I would just ignore it. I am also a Catholic, but as far as I know and experience, even a deeply religious person does not send Bible texts, certainly not to someone who has never met them? I would, as mentioned earlier, make it clear to her as diplomatically as possible that you are an atheist and are not served by those Bible stories that are offensive to you and that you cannot be converted. You can probably tell from her reaction to what kind of person she is. The fact that they do not want premarital sex also occurs among Buddhists, but it is not only Christians who adhere to this. At least for us, that is a very outdated view that is still in vogue among the Thais. We have a saying: if you're going to buy a pair of shoes, don't you try them on first to see if they fit? 😉
Good luck and have a nice stay here in Thailand.
The texts she sends give reason to think that her English is of a decent level. You could also just ask Mr. Why she sends the texts and what she means by it. It could also be that she wants to get into your good graces because you come from a Christian country.
I wouldn't worry about giving a phone number. That is more common in Thailand than with us in my experience. Chat twice and you get a number because it's easier to talk.
Thais are sometimes also very short in digital contact. You ask an extensive question and justify it and you get the answer: Yes. (or no, but I mean without further motivation or interpretation)
They usually prefer to talk.
There are certainly a lot of Christians in Thailand, or I happened to meet the other one 3 years ago, everything went a bit like this, I came to her house where it was full of biblical paintings, the first time we slept together reading the Bible to them at 5.30:XNUMX in the morning (and that can hardly have been boredom)
Now I'm quite an atheist myself and I didn't like that either.
But now we have been together for 3 years and everything is going great, we got married, that was with a pastor on the beach at the time, but after that I was able to get rid of Christianity quite a bit.
many women here are lured into church by a friend, where they sometimes get free English lessons or things like that, they expect to make friendships, but I don't think they are really Christian.
I say, first get to know them in real life, then it won't be too bad, just try.
By the way, there are also nice Christians.
Could it not simply be the case that this Thai woman wants to indicate with these Bible texts and prayer cards that she is no longer a Buddhist, and is not looking for a “one night stand” so to speak, and so also not the standard bar type that some Farangs are looking for.
Perhaps a bit cumbersome to do it in such a way, but who knows, she wants to avoid misunderstandings.
After all, she doesn't know exactly what Jan's life is like, although it would have been easier if he had let her know right away when he started to get annoyed with the Bible texts. Can nip many problems in the bud, I think.
Would you look at it first anyway, is this lady already too pushy and "converting", you can always pull your struts, and go see many other Thai ladies.
In any case, have a nice holiday, with or without this lady.
Regards, Seven Eleven.
In any case, Jan has already had many answers.
Jan posts a link to a certain reaction, with one of the texts that his Thai correspondent sent him. This is a quote from the bible. But what kind of bible? Have a click through.
It is an online bible, and you can download the app for tablet and smartphone:
"YouVersion is a simple, AD-FREE Bible that brings God's Word into your daily life."
Now, I'm an atheist, but I've been to Catholic schools. This online bible does not say what it is about. It resembles an American populist denomination that uses the Bible, but not for the purposes approved by the pope. Was so intrigued, and searched further. This online bible belongs to http://www.lifechurch.tv/who-we-are/ and there you have the answer.
To link back to Jan's Thai possible date: maybe she receives the texts via an app on her mobile phone and thinks she will please you with it. But by European standards such bibles are the instruments of sects, it is almost forbidden with us. Stay away from that.
Repeat, as stated in the first response to your question: it appears to be compulsive behavior. Well, I'm sure of that now. Joost will know how she came into contact with that sect.
Maybe it's even a fake profile, but this even seems far-fetched to me. But I have already faded away from more.
She may have been talked into by acquaintances who are 'affectionate' to the American guru, but now you have been warned, this bible has betrayed itself.
Good luck in Thailand, you are going to have a wonderful time, if you let this woman in her happiness!
So despite all the Catholic reactions,
Is it so strange that Thais can convert to the Christian faith, isn't it also true that many farang men have 'become' Buddhists after falling in love with a Thai beauty...? 😉
Often they are even more Buddhist than their Thai wife / girlfriend, know them who get really angry when you have even a small point of criticism of Buddhism or make a joke about it and do not call Buddhism a religion because it is a way of life! 😉
The lady is 45 and looking for a companion with whom she can be happy.
You don't have to look any further.
Give each other a chance. Trees don't meet, people do.
That she claims you is probably true for most people at that age who are genuinely looking for happiness. It is not easy to find a good life companion.
There are also sex tourists who take advantage of such a situation.
So such a woman stands weak and exposes herself.
Also look at it from her side…
Good luck.
Dear Jan,
Maybe I am biased but it is a signal to be very careful with this.
Without going into my personal situation too much, I can tell you from experience that it can be very difficult as an atheist. I myself have been married to a Filipino woman for over 30 years. Catholic of course. I am an atheist by birth. And you can tell yourself 100 times “I let everyone in his / her worth and respect everyone's beliefs”
The belief can become very extreme after many years and lead to clashes between you.
And by extreme I really mean extreme where others are dragged into this "cult"
It has led to my marriage being completely disrupted because of that alone.
Even as a sympathizer of the Buddhist way of life, I can hardly accept that one faith can destroy so much.
As Franky V says "Isn't she a Filipino by chance, many of whom also work and live in Thailand"
Greetings Pete.
Thanks everyone for the interesting advice. I received another text about the Bible last night, and I told her immediately and bluntly that I don't appreciate it at all and I don't like it at all, and that I am an atheist. Immediately received the reply ''Okay I am sorry I don't send it again'' she apologized 3 times.
I in turn wrote that I thought it was very strange for a Thai woman that she was Christian (at that time I had not yet read the postings on this blog). I received the reply that Christians exist all over the world.
Have you continued to ask ''are you a witness of Jehovah''?
Literal translation ''No that's not me, the texts are from the holy bible, that's not the same''
Now I read here via the blog that it is an American sect that the Pope has not approved. Now I have the feeling (and I could be very wrong) that she doesn't know what's going on at all. A Thai who becomes interested in Christianity and who ends up on such sites without any real good information. Also because her English is not that perfect.
At one point via chat she said ''A good relationship should not be factored into scene''
Which leads me to conclude that I am making a drama over nothing, something I personally think differently about, even if it is only contact via the internet.
Now I feel like asking later how she got that site and explaining to her that this is a cult, curious how she will react
Now since the chat yesterday she doesn't send me anything from religion. I got to know them through Facebook and took a look at her profile and I can't find anything about religion or anything like that there. There is only 1 farang on her friends list.
I have a feeling that she is looking for a foreigner, she told me a few days ago that Thai men can never be trusted, they need at least 3 women, none of them are faithful and so on. Things she no longer wants
Dear Jan
To me there are a lot of indications in your piece that it is not about a woman who is religiously ill or belongs to a sect, but about an 'ordinary', Christian-oriented, benevolent and partly ignorant or naive Thai woman who is looking for happiness with a foreign man.
Next, you should still be wary but not suspicious. So will she be.
Hi Jan,
At least that part [religious stuff] is over. Still the fact that she wanted to see you “immediately” if you put your big toe on Thai territory…
If the lady wants to see you so much, why is the contact by mail so superficial? I wonder.
Even if she admits she wants to go purely for a white man, she would want/should tell more about herself. Don't forget that you will soon be in her country and that as a farang you are not exactly strong, should the lady 'invent things'!
Determine for yourself which things you absolutely want to know about her and respond to them through the email conversations. And I would still remain suspicious about whereabouts in Thailand.
If she keeps insisting where you are staying…my red warning lights would just about burn out…
Good luck, Jan!