Reader question: Meeting my Thai girlfriend's parents, who has any tips?

If money is immediately mentioned during your first meeting, forget it and if you marry a Thai, you also marry the family and it is assumed that you also regularly send money.
Don't brag too much about how much money you have. Look before you leap because it happened to me too. My love didn't speak a word of English either, but I could already express myself a bit in Thai and it started well after my marriage in Belgium, but after 14 years it broke down because she "didn't get rich fast enough"! That's why she was looking for another naive bastard with more money hehe. Has she still NOT found herself after my inheritance and now she wants to be friends again! Haha now that there's more to pick up...
A good piece of advice: just like me, you can help the family a bit, but don't exaggerate and make clear agreements. Don't put the cat in the milk. Try to learn the language as quickly as possible, which really isn't as difficult as people usually think. You can then already understand a lot about what the people around say because from my own experience I know that with the Thai it is always about money. Nothing wrong with that because they are poor people, but you don't want to be praised, do you?
One more thing to think about: you are the white knight on the beautiful white horse, but once back in prosperous Europe there are MANY knights on beautiful white horses walking around with much more money! KNOW THAT WELL! SUCCESS!

Just behave nicely and if you don't know what to do: mirror what they do. Smile, give or not give a gift. What would you do in the Netherlands? Both parties will have to give and take, you will not do it 100% their way and vice versa just as well. Show your good will and your charm, and you're already halfway there.

Personal anecdote: I had already seen my mother-in-law via video chat before I saw her in real life. At that meeting I was busy in my head 'of course I have to make a wai, and a good one, soon I'll do it wrong and they'll laugh at me or worse…' but while I thought like that and started to bring my hands together until a wai mother had already approached me to greet me with a smile and a big hug, happy to see me in person. At that moment I immediately thought that those truckloads of texts about do's and don'ts, how 'the Thai' operate, could go right out the window. Familiarize yourself with stereotypes and common customs and etiquette in general, but DO NOT assume that they automatically apply to the individual in front of you. You will automatically notice who you are dealing with, put your best foot forward and it will probably work out (or not if your in-laws are not the nicest people.. but that is not your fault). 🙂

By the way, here's a link to this topic:
https://www.thailandblog.nl/cultuur/ouders-thaise-vriendin/

Ask your girlfriend for instructions.

Your behavior will depend not only on the social status of the family, but also on who the parents are as a person.

And don't go too fast with that word "parents-in-law", you have apparently only experienced your girlfriend 1 holiday.

Just act the way you behave towards your girlfriend. Be polite because you are a guest in their house and their country. Just be surprised by her parents' reaction and respond appropriately. As was mentioned earlier, don't show off your possessions because in many cases they also see you as their old age provision. I don't know what your future plans are and whether you will be there all year round or whether you have to return regularly because of your visa. They often expect a monthly contribution towards their living expenses. You have only known her for a short time, but as you know, things don't always go the way you want them to. Let's ignore the serious ladies for a moment. It has gone wrong many times already. In the worst case scenario, you leave for your own country and the next one presents itself... which doesn't matter, but again with all due respect to the Thai ladies, this happens. But of course this happens. not only there but in many poor and Asian countries. Don't be too quick to buy expensive gifts and certainly not real estate or land. First look at it for a while and you will immediately notice how it looks. I sincerely hope that you will be happy with her and wish you all the best, but keep your eyes open and common sense

Klaas,

No better feeling than being "in love".
However, know and realize that your relationship is very early. Met in January, then Covid19 threw a spanner in the works.
I think it is a bit too soon to meet the family on your next visit, knowing that such a meeting does indeed contain expectations, and different from what we are used to if the relationship ends.
In Thai, meeting the parents means that it should be a long lasting relationship, and if things go wrong, your friend in her village will suffer a great loss of face, and this is one of the worst things that can happen to a Thai. !!!
Everything depends on your girlfriend's attitude, are you her first farang, where is she from, how does the family feel about a strange man etc….
A little logical thinking will help you further, not only with your heart and feeling, but especially with your head, which is not easy when you are in love.
I wish you good luck, because if she is the one and goes for this relationship, you will have many happy years Klaas, but please take it easy ok.
Jozef

Don't forget to immediately plan a restaurant with the family.

Also bring enough cash to buy a gift for the whole family,

There will certainly be talk of building a nice house, the land of sun and smile

When you leave with your loved one, leave an envelope with some bath.

But you are already having fun times.

Have experienced it myself for 15 years.

Watch out for temptation.

Show respect. And indeed take off your footwear when entering. For that first time, try to wear long pants and a neutral shirt. You don't have to be afraid, because even if you don't like them, they won't show it.
I asked if I could give the mother a hug. Not common in Thailand, so ask first. It's heart-warming for both, I felt that I scored straight away.

Bring some simple gifts. When I went to Thailand for the first time I had https://www.hollandsouvenirshop.nl/ bought several souvenirs. For the children (nephews, nieces) small Delft blue clogs. You now pay 8 pieces for € 6,95. I brought 20 of them. I gave it to the children and I used up the rest. For example, to a good taxi driver or to the driver of the mini van when we went away for a day. There is also plenty on the site for adults. I also think of real Dutch stroopwafels and chocolate. I do agree with the advice not to throw money around. It all seems cheap there but before you know your savings, which you worked hard for, have dwindled to a minimum. Oh yes, assume that you can't go to Thailand early next year. Just think about the end of next year. At the moment they only want Chinese.
And if you keep acting normal, everything will work itself out. The first time I visited, the whole family was there. I was welcomed with open arms. I have a super family and a mother-in-law. I hope that happens to you too.