Reader's question: Surviving relatives benefit wife who has never been to the Netherlands

Paul, your wife has never lived in the Netherlands, I read. So she did not accrue state pension independently.

Then your information raises questions. What kind of benefit does she receive from the SVB: you write: wage tax is withheld from her part of the AOW. So the question that now arises is: is she independently entitled to AOW or do you mean something else? I do not read in your message whether you have taken out a survivor's or pension insurance for your wife, so I assume that you did not do this.

If you die, your AOW will lapse (and if you live together without being married: also the partner allowance); your wife will then not receive anything from the SVB unless she is independently entitled to state pension and that only at the state pension age.

The widow is entitled to a widow's pension if you have a company or state pension in addition to the AOW, but you must then work on this and have your wife registered as such with a pension fund or insurer.

Finally, paying tax in the Netherlands does not entitle you to a pension or survivor benefit.

There is still the misunderstanding that a wife in Thailand who has never been to the Netherlands is entitled to a (surviving relatives) benefit in the event of the death of the husband. There are those who believe that an AOW benefit is automatically transferred to the spouse in the event of their own death. This misunderstanding also exists with regard to a pension benefit.
Everyone who lives in the Netherlands for a year saves 2% AOW. If my Thai wife is alive and well when she is 67 years old, she will have lived in the Netherlands for 26 years and will therefore receive 52% AOW. AOW accrual therefore has nothing to do with paying taxes, because someone without income and therefore no tax payment also receives AOW in proportion to the number of years of residence in the Netherlands.
In the case of Paul as the questioner, he will receive his share of AOW, which is approximately €825 gross.
If he were single, he would receive around €1125.
His wife receives €0 because he is not entitled to AOW, as he has never lived in the Netherlands.
She is also not entitled to ANW via the SVB.
Possibly, if Paul has arranged a possible survivor's pension or partner's pension with his pension fund. This must be done on time, often earlier than the start date of your own pension. Usually part of your own pension is exchanged for a partner's pension. If this had happened, Paul would receive less pension, and his wife would receive a survivor's pension upon his death. The amount of this therefore depends on the size of the ceded part of your own pension.
At the time, I already exchanged part of my pension for a partner's pension for my wife. In order to receive more or less a full pension, I have paid extra contributions for years. In short: when my wife is 67 years old, she will receive both an AOW and a pension, and she will have a (possible) ANW scheme through my pension fund.
Paul's assumption that if you pay tax in the Netherlands that you are also entitled to a benefit, is incorrect. Incidentally, his wife does not pay tax in the Netherlands because she has no income from the Netherlands and in due course no state pension.

If you are in NL. you are automatically insured for the ANW = "General Surviving Dependents Act", formerly called the "Widows and Orphans Act"
AOW, Pension Fund, Partner Allowance, has nothing to do with that.
If you go to live in Thailand and are deregistered in NL, you are no longer entitled to those national insurance schemes.
However, you can voluntarily insure yourself for the ANW within the year that you have been deregistered if you have a partner and you meet the conditions. The premium is withheld annually from your AOW.
I think from Paul's letter that he has not taken out voluntary ANW insurance.
He also mixes up different concepts. His wife does not have an AOW benefit on which she pays tax. Paul probably has a Partner Allowance.

Dear Henny,,
In 2004 I took out a voluntary ANW for my wife and foster child, for which I pay an annual premium. Will be deducted from my state pension.
You are apparently misinformed.