Reader Submission: A world traveler in Pattaya

What is life without the exciting adventures of a great world traveler, who has sometimes moved four blocks away from his regular walk along the Pattaya boulevard. A walk in the morning that is dominated by exhausted ladies and gentlemen, interspersed with a sporting eccentric.

A small part of the tourist population tries to get a tan on the beach under a parasol without spreading an unpleasant scorching smell, but the majority is still in bed or on an IV after another crazy day of drinking, drinking and… ..

As befits a world traveler, he drinks coffee twice in the morning. Bought at the 7-Eleven on the boulevard to drink amongst sleeping bums, tourists wondering how they got there and vendors of super luxury watches, bracelets, laser pointers, speedboat rides and food, especially food.

To the guesthouse, where his roommate is hiding with a lady

After coffee, more than half of the boulevard has now been covered and the course is changed; inland where his roommate lives in a guesthouse of less standing. His life is brightened up there by a lady who has been in Pattaya for five months to do this professionally, together with thousands of other ladies.

The world traveler had imagined that his roommate would come and enjoy the pleasures of his hotel, such as breakfast (he now doubts whether this is a pleasure at all) and the very large swimming pool. Despite the fact that a sum of money had already been paid for this, his housemate prefers to stay in the guesthouse with his lady.

The world traveler has been calling for years that a woman who takes care of his housemate would be a gift from heaven. But soon he has concluded that this woman does not meet the qualifications and now he is very concerned about the relationship. He visits every day at lunchtime for an hour to socialize and that is very conducive to the good atmosphere. It is very unfortunate that his housemate is now suffering from stress and flu symptoms.

The beer bars are filling up; the first women shout 'welcome'

After visiting the guesthouse it is time for tea and of course there is a permanent address for this. The day has gradually progressed to noon and the beer bars are starting to fill up, also the first women as you walk by begin to welcome you with an extremely shrill and annoying “welcome”, some of which cannot resist getting pawed. But our globe-trotter strides on resolutely, verbally expressing his displeasure (many people do when they're on their own).

After enjoying the peace and tea on to the taxis. If one meets the criteria of the world traveler (may not be too full, among other things), the journey goes with lightning speed to the hotel for the afternoon nap. This ends on days that the world traveler eats bread (ingredients: cheese, German sausage and German bread) at 20.00 pm. On days when meals are eaten in a restaurant, the afternoon nap ends at 19.30:XNUMX pm. On those days, the world traveler is looking for an adventurous restaurant, but it must be German and in exactly the same place as last time.

The boulevard has been transformed into a gang of whores since dark

On arrival at the restaurant, the world traveler feasts on Oriental dishes such as Wiener Schnitzel and Bratkartoffeln. Just went through the Bildzeitung and then back on the road.

Since dark, the boulevard has been transformed into a downright gang of whores. A few hundred ladies and gentlemen appear between the trees and on the beach, who address you or attract your attention in other ways. If you sit on a bench for a while, they immediately attack like mosquitoes and, as with mosquitoes, there is only one solution, keep moving.

You can avoid this by walking on the street side instead of on the sea side. But then you come from the rain to the drip by walking past the endless rows of beer bars. Those bars bounce with loud seventies music and are filled with drunk grandpas and pushy ladies who are only too happy to pull you on board. The world traveler soon takes a taxi to Mike's shopping mall to enjoy a cup of hot tea on a terrace.

Older gentlemen parade

Here whole groups of elderly gentlemen parade with their granddaughter as if it were their dear love. The game is played with full conviction by these ladies, who can best be described as predatory spiders. They go shopping with their grandfather (clothes, cosmetics and other expensive things such as gold because coincidentally the largest jewelers are located here), are always hungry, always need money for disasters in the family (cow is dead, rice has to be sown) , walk the bears in the evening with their prey, encourage them to drink, stay the night in the hotel and enter the dining room in the morning, intimately entwined.

The predatory spider sucks them completely empty, but the prey does not notice and enjoys the surrogate to the fullest. It happens at every holiday destination, but here a whole (big) city is doing it or making money from it. As his roommate's girlfriend let slip: it is her duty to ensure that money is spent for the benefit of Thailand.

Sex is fun but it shouldn't cost too much

Now that the housemate and his girlfriend have also reported on the terrace, the girlfriend is immediately excluded from the conversations. The world traveler immediately starts to further improve the relationship between his housemate and girlfriend by pointing out her appetite and expressing the suspicion that it will cost something. And by indicating that she is sulking again, because even though no boo or bah is said in your direction, you can at least stay cheerful in the company of a world traveler.

Then the housemate starts complaining that she needs money again for her two children who are being raised by grandma. Because everyone in the Northeast knows how things work here, the family only complains about money and the girlfriend is forced to complain about money too. Yes, sex is fun but it shouldn't cost too much.

Corsican boyfriend gets drunk and passes out

Now that a Corsican friend has left for a few weeks to celebrate, the girlfriend is increasingly perceived as a burden. The Corsican can fly cheaply to Pattaya through his work, where he tries to elevate prostitute walking to art. The doctor has just told him that he is in the process of drinking himself to death and eating a heart attack. He took this to heart as evidenced by the following.

After arriving in Pattaya, he immediately visited the French club (group of French people who visit each other in the same café) and drank himself into a lot. At 5 am he walked down the boulevard in apparent state and took a lady to his room, too drunk to notice that the lady was checking in as a gentleman at the hotel.

He quickly went into the room out, after which the lady/gentleman appropriated 2.000 euros (the idiot still had to take the money out of his suitcase to put it in the safe) and also bought a nice iPad. He borrowed the mobile for a while to make extensive telephone calls with friends and acquaintances. The Corsican did not file a report and hardly dared to show himself in the hotel because everyone knew that he had taken a man to his room. Out of sheer misery he left for another hotel.

What could be more fun than a city full of challenges like Pattaya?

The world traveler had a nice chat with his roommate, who had been to Bangkok with his girlfriend. For those who have not yet been there have not seen anything. Like the world traveler is sure to have been there once (about twenty years ago maybe?) and certainly does not want to go again. Because what could be more fun than a city full of challenges like Pattaya?

The housemate leaves with a girlfriend for a walk on the beach and the world traveler goes to a not too full taxi for a pleasant ride along the beer bars where, according to the noise, romance reigns again.

On the corner of the hotel and of course near a beer bar, the world traveler takes a nice cup of tea and smokes another delicious safke. In the meantime, he considers with satisfaction that it will not be necessary to adjust the program tomorrow, it is already so challenging.

Yes, what inspires a person to want to see something every day? Don't people understand that I've already seen it all, even though I don't know what or where. Though I can't remember, either I've been there or it's so unimportant I wish I hadn't been there.

Tomorrow I'm just going to make another world trip through Pattaya, just like today.

Submitted by Piet (64)