Reader submission: Thailand, the land of smiles, but is there so much to laugh about?
To what extent do you see the Thai smiling? Have a look around the BTS, MRT or on the street. Food in a stall? It is rarely served with a smile.
Most don't say thank you or even say hello. Even if you look on the Chao Phraya taxi boat you don't see much smile. You rarely or never see the ticket saleswoman looking friendly.
Walk into the HomePro. The staff is bored waiting for a customer with which they are happy to guide you to what you want to buy. The number of employees there is unprecedented.
The longer you live in Thailand, the more you get used to it, but does it also annoy you? How do you deal with the following:
- The pushing of the Thai at a bus stop.
- The Thai who stand just a few meters in front of you when you wait for a taxi.
- The Thai who want to get on the bus while you still have to get off with a few passengers.
- The Thai who arrives and shouts his order loudly while there is still a queue waiting.
- The Thai who drives against traffic and then also drives his motorbike on the sidewalk and thinks you pull over.
- The Thai who is sitting on the bus and his legs are apart and his arms are also so that the 2e chair is also half occupied.
- The Thai lady sitting in front of you with the long hair over the chair so that you almost have the hair in your face.
- The indifferent behavior of the employees in various stores.
Oh, there are so many more examples. But how do you deal with it? Do you put everything aside or do you go against it?
I'm curious.
I have a few solutions myself that work quite well.
Submitted by Hank
I don't get annoyed easily and if something goes wrong, yes the Thai laughs, but I laugh back louder and then they get nervous and walk away, you should also try. For the rest with sellers I always have a waving finger and that works perfectly.
And oh well, the traffic, it's chaotic and just pay double attention.
Last week in the bus from Bangkok to Pattaya, there was a falang (thought Russian) talking into the phone quite loudly and the loudspeaker was also on, that was quite irritating and what to say, all the people around me said go with the taxi if you want to phone that falang, so support from an unexpected source.
I'm only a guest here, so I'll have to take everything (almost everything) or else they'll tell you to leave. So I live as a guest, they should do the same in the Netherlands.
It strikes me that a number of basic Western standards of politeness are not so well established in Thailand. For example, I have rarely seen someone hold the door open for you when you walk behind a Thai.
I don't think it's cowardice, but it's not really taught. In addition, most Thais do not interfere with others. That can also be quite difficult if you have a heart attack on the street. Most Thai will just keep walking.
It doesn't surprise me that a waitress doesn't smile when serving a dish. What is there to laugh at if you have to work 7 days a week for 250 euros a month?
And then also 12 or more hours a day.
So this would imply that kindness depends on the bad earnings.
Compare it with minimum wage in the Netherlands in bars and restaurants.
Even a taxi driver does not exude friendliness. They are not helpful either. The tip they receive is usually still too much for the extra service they provide.
Turn it around, we are not sensitive to friendly service and then automatically tip more..
For a long time I went to a coffee shop.
The employee was friendly and always smiling.
20 baht tip was standard and she appreciated this too.
Unfortunately she is gone. Now the new service, but no smile or anything.
Not even good morning yet..
Well, after 4 weeks another coffee shop.
And then , pay your room and send money to her parents ,
and still Money to spend the whole month, then there's nothing left for that Thai Smile (Laugh)
Thailand is not the Land of Smiles”, see my statement here:
https://www.thailandblog.nl/stelling-van-de-week/land-glimlach-bestaat-niet/
The Thais have even less to smile about than the foreigners.
I must confess that I have also been guilty of forcing (Immigration) and driving on the wrong side of the road (110 meters wrong to a 7-11, otherwise 3 km),
What to do, just like in the Netherlands:
1 if someone intrudes or is otherwise annoying I am annoyed but say politely: Sorry, could you please…etc. I always do and never had a problem with it.
2 staff and stuff. Say a friendly 'good morning' and maybe something like 'hot today, huh' or 'have you eaten yet?' and then "Would you please help me?" Always excellent help. Why should those shop assistants always come running up to every customer (or expat) with a smile?
Indeed, Thais can react differently than Falang. Europeans also react differently than Americans. The Dutch also react differently than the Germans, etc.
Every country and every contingent has its own norms and values and I cannot say that ours (NL) are always blissful. Neither does the Thai, by the way. In addition, every person reacts differently to certain situations etc.
I sometimes get the idea that what was so attractive to Thailand for 10-20-30 years is starting to get boring and annoying after so many years.
And if someone pushes ahead, a cough is often enough, everyone understands what you mean.
Dear Henk, I don't understand the example of the Homepro. Yes, sometimes people are bored waiting for a customer, but if they can help you, 1 or more people will gladly do so. I wouldn't have a (fake) smile on my face if I've had nothing to do for fifteen minutes or more.
Overall, the Thai look just as often genuinely friendly, forced / acted friendly, neutral, bored or sour as the people in the Netherlands or elsewhere. Could it be something human?? I sometimes see things here, just like in the Netherlands. Just like in the Netherlands, this is sometimes conscious, sometimes unconscious, sometimes antisocial, sometimes out of laziness. The same with the wide-seaters in public transport, but if it gets really busy, people will accommodate. If I notice that someone does not take the environment (me) into account, I do something very human: point this out politely. In my experience, ben often agrees. It will probably be even easier if you speak the same language, but with kindness and hands and feet you can go a long way.
So no, of course I won't let anyone walk all over me. I wouldn't do that anywhere in the world, so not here either. Even if I don't live here but am just a vacationer, I am not a doormat or a wind vane. Be humane, show kindness and respect and you will usually get very far.
Peter: 555 Yes I agree with you completely about that waitress.
Tino, I agree with your comments.
The Thai smile is of course proverbial: You cannot expect every resident or employee to be smiling all day long and that has never been the case.
However, I did not experience it as serious as you describe the situation during my vacations.
Perhaps there is an element of reciprocity in smiling. I mean: If I walk around with a head like an earwig myself, the Thai may be less inclined to express themselves diametrically.
Now that my perception broadly does not match yours, I have never wondered how to deal with it.
To be honest, those points don't deviate that much from what you can expect in the Netherlands.
And let's be honest, if you stand 7 days a week with a food stall on the side of the road in the heat, or the burning sun, or hang around at Homepro all day, waiting for a customer, you start laughing at some point too.
And yet it's not my experience.
Well, at things like HomePro, because people there are only concerned with generating turnover.
Not just to make some money, but also because there's probably a good chance they'll get kicked out if they don't sell enough.
Homepro has nothing to do with sellers who walk around all day, but are unable to sell a customer something.
But with the people you meet over time, with courtesy and a few words, you can quickly conjure up a friendly smile.
You can also approach many of the pros and cons mentioned from a different angle.
For example: during the (raising) of the kids, a lot is tolerated. I don't want to tar them all with the same brush, but it really is sometimes cringe-inducing what those kids can and are allowed to afford.
Manners, come on. Spoiled? to the bone.
Values and norms are probably still taught to some extent at school and the army.
So what do you expect from the next generation, people don't know any better.
I look at it, laugh at it or just walk away.
I don't understand why I always enjoy so much when I'm in Thailand
I've been all over the world but it's always like this
The land wise the land honour
We have been living in Thailand for 10 years now with great pleasure and I certainly do not agree with everything I read above.
Maybe because we live in the North (near Chiang Mai)???? The mentality and way of thinking of the Thai is indeed different, but, if you don't like it here in Thailand, why don't you just go back to your own country and continue grumbling there??
Again that drivel of “if you don't like it here, go back to your own country”, what does that have to do with the statement? The land of smiles is their trademark. Did they invent, we don't! There are always exceptions to the rule, but indeed most of them don't laugh anymore, even those who have money!
Most of the comments I read here are from experienced Thailand travelers and I completely agree. After 25 years of Thailand, I know, a Thai only thinks of himself and his family, see for example in traffic. After 10 years with great pleasure in Thailand you apparently still don't understand it. Sit with the locals more and you will know how they talk and think about us "farang" if you understand some Thai. Take off your pink glasses, they are not interested in us and you are no exception!
As for shops/banks, some managers manage and monitor staff well, some don't.
At HomeWork (where I visit regularly) I find the staff friendly and attentive.
For example, a youngster at 7-11 should be taught to say 'hello, please' etc and look at the customer instead of talking to a colleague while giving change and virtually ignoring the customer … Comes across as rude; the manager has a job here.
Recently at the exchange booth of a large bank 1000 baht 'made small' … the lady behind the counter kept chatting on the phone, didn't look at me, didn't say anything. I immediately entered the bank branch and brought this to the attention of the manager.
Of course there are people here who are not friendly to you, but when I look back at my time in the Netherlands, my thought is the same, you also encountered people who are not friendly.
You meet these people all over the world and then I think oh well leave them.
Most people who know you are always friendly, but of course it matters a lot how you approach them.
I would say don't worry about it so much but enjoy life it's only for a while.
Gr Wim.
Henk, do you still laugh in Thailand?
What does this have to do with the statement.
They are facts you have to deal with.
And to your question if I'm still smiling, I can say yes.
The points I quote are propositions.
And the question is as you can read how do you deal with it.
I have my own solutions for these points that often also make the bystanders laugh.
And yes, I also see the sensible and nonsensical comments above.
Fortunately, there are still comments that understand what it's all about.
And remarks that it is the country's wisdom and country's honor or you should go back to the Netherlands…
Well, those people will still run into these things in years to come.
So something needs to change in terms of education.
Peter reports that you shouldn't expect a waitress on a meager salary to smile.
After all, for that money you should not expect too much.
But that amount is also a minimum amount in Thailand, so how contradictory”
That too is wise and honorable.
Fortunately, there are among my Thai friends and acquaintances and customers who also have an opinion on this. And luckily those are positive things. In the 7/11 only engaged in
the phone is punished.
My girlfriend (manager) is strict and fair but 3 x no greeting or only busy with the phone is home.
Lazy and not interested in the customer? Also warn. Explain that the customer ultimately paid the salary is understood.
And being kind costs nothing.
A Thai's behavior towards you is the mirror image of your own behavior towards him. And honestly, 99% of all farang walks around with an arrogant sour face.
Fortunately, I live in a neighborhood where I never come into contact with farang in the supermarket, Central shopping mall or restaurant.
My observations are based on farang behavior in the Farangoorden and tourist hotspots
Marx said: “Social being determines being.” In other words: the society in which people grow their eyes has a major impact on our thinking and acting. Thai society is a jungle and that is also reflected in the manners. I have been to Thailand about twenty times and my Thai wife has been living in Belgium for a year now. She says that in Belgium people are much more polite and friendly. So we have it a lot easier. First the food, then the moral, according to Bertold Brecht.
It is the Thai tourist office that proclaims that Thailand is the land of smiles and that is what many tourists who visit Thailand believe.
The Thai itself only smiles when money can be made and that is misunderstood by the tourist.
Henk, haven't been to the Netherlands for a while, have you? In my opinion, the Thai is portrayed very negatively here. Recently I made frequent use of the BTS for a few days, I was surprised by the neat behavior and discipline of the Thai people. They gave the people who got out neatly space, and then neatly got in. In the Netherlands people are squeezing in front of the doors and they look angry when the disembarking passengers ask to please make some room so that they can actually get out. People with suitcases have to 'struggle' to get out! In the songthaew I often see that it is precisely the falang who sit with their legs wide apart to take up as much space as possible for themselves and they also do not show the decency to move up unsolicited. Mainly the Russian speakers. With a motorbike on the sidewalk? In the Netherlands there are certain population groups that do not act differently! They are called street thugs there!
Thais rarely think, it always comes down to getting their turn first and they are not interested in anyone else. Examples are legion as already mentioned in previous responses. The famous "amazing smile" is just as well shown when they despise you in the back of their mind... And with the beautiful "wai's" and the neat uniforms, they don't even think about using their empty plastic cups and packaging next to to drop the road ... even if there are garbage cans every 50 meters. When you make a comment about this you get (what did you think?….yes…) the “amazing smile” but there is not an ounce of kindness in it either…There is also not the slightest sense of courtesy when they want something and they go just for. They always drive on at the red traffic light and when it turns green it takes an "eternity" before they start. Indeed, they pretend to exist and rule the world alone. Meanwhile, they have also tumbled back more than 30 places on the “corruption index”…Never colonized, never learned anything…We know better, but politely adapt…
It seems to me that above, especially in the posted article, the Thai is rather (and unjustly) looked down upon.
There is a big difference with the past the thai has a phone d3ze has videos music and then they just sit on the floor behind the cash register and answer a question no have
But we spend all day looking at our phone
Folks the phone has all of you in its power
And the fun is slowly getting further away
The remark that you have to go back to the Netherlands as Rutte says was not invented by yourself.
This also characterizes that you do not think about the points of view, but run away from the problem.
These are statements that you can agree with or not.
So it has absolutely nothing to do with whether you are satisfied or not.
It is true that Thailand lags behind due to this slight problem / points of attention.
In terms of raising the children and also cleaning up the waste trays and plastic cups for coffee.
The fact remains that they are not making any progress and the government cannot do anything about it.
The Thai who do understand dare and do not want to say anything about it because then they will indeed lose face
As far as I know, the smile has long since disappeared in Thailand.
There where I live in the countryside close to Chiangmai not anymore .
But what do you want , most of them have enormous concerns due to financial debts and the like .
What I find much worse , and worry me more about , is that the aggression between them is increasing .
I have personally experienced many times , and not only in traffic .
And that certainly applies to the spoiled youth.
Afraid of working that makes you tired, afraid of the sun is not good for the skin.
Daily examples enough to see on Thai TV stations.
Firearm possession , have more Thais than you think .
Staff in many large retail chains are not interested in the customers at all.
Watching a hand phone is a better daily activity.
Jan Beute.
it's sad but can only confirm that the manyThai
and especially in the larger cities behave indecently and impolitely. Now the whole world is showing a great deal of disinterest and the Thai also thinks they are showing a great deal of indifference.
have to measure.
The somewhat older Thais are also of the opinion that there is a big difference with regard to behaviour
degree of indifference towards one's fellow human beings.
The land of the smile has really disappeared. I think I can say this after more than 30 years every year
weeks spent both privately and professionally.
Well , here in the village the smile is still alive .
Maybe because you always meet the same people in a small village.
Or , because I am the only Farang and they just laugh at me ?
No , for all the elderly here are very friendly ,.
But also when I go to the Tesco or Big-C in the big village,
I always get a smile from the staff.
I always look at them with a broad smile first
and then one always comes back.
I also go to Hua Hin for 3 weeks every year
and it works there too!
But when you look sour yourself , don't be surprised ,
when the Thai doesn't smile at you!
Have to say I think it's okay.
A lot depends on how you position yourself. The ladies in the Tesco or 7-11 know me usually want to have a chat if it happens to be quiet, I was recently at a new Mazda Dealer as my old one is closed and the manager was very friendly. Same with Homepro or elsewhere.
Things that Peter says about, for example, keeping the door open, I've actually never seen a Thai close the door for you. If I do it myself, keep the door open for the older Thai in particular, you can also see that it is greatly appreciated.
You sometimes have aso behavior in traffic, but well I will sometimes do things in traffic that don't make someone else happy.
It stands and falls with respect. I see a lot of Farang also constantly being haughty against the Thai and I can imagine that the Thai in turn become faint of that. If someone is at the 9000-7 or works in a restaurant for 11 baht a month, you don't have to be disdainful about it. It also depends a bit on your expectations. The fact that you come to Thailand as a Westerner and happen to have a bit more money in your pocket than the average Thai does not mean that they immediately have to roll out the red carpet.
'The land of smiles' does not mean that everyone smiles all day long, especially not because everyone is in such a nice mood.
See the instructive article by Khun Peter, for those who need a refresher course on the backgrounds of smile:
.
https://www.thailandblog.nl/cultuur/thaise-glimlach/
.
I only give a tip in a restaurant if there is some kindness.
A 'sawadee' on arrival, or a 'did you like it' when you're satisfied, is more important to me than that smile.
As in the Netherlands sometimes '5% tip' is on the menu, here they could put 'Smile: 20 Baht' on the menu.
I just mailed a scan to friends, of my old and my new passport
(stolen on Koh Chang), with caption: photo 1, me before, and photo 2, me after 10 weeks Thailand, You look younger said the receptionist who made the scan, and I replied: a friend said when I came back last time: you look 10 years younger. I enjoy so much that I forget all the misery of the theft and that now () my mind no longer works), I have to stay 1 day longer in Thailand, and I enjoy all the helpfulness and the laughter, the pleasure I see when I see people observe, it's not a pose, oh sometimes of course, as we pose in other fields, well I could go on for hours (yes WHERE THE WESTERN CAPITAL RULES THE THAI WILL BECOME LIKE US): I love Thailand, and will hopefully return and tour for many years to come.
How do we respond to this? well we will not come back less money will come in again they look even more sour and that is of course the fault of the Thai
In fact, I am only annoyed by those who find it necessary to "Thai Bashing".
Thai are indeed not clowns with a smile painted on their face, but simply a, in general, extremely friendly people.
Well annoyed by a statement, Thailand residents bashing.
So you clearly didn't get the point. To be clear: these are statements that you have to deal with in daily life. The question was therefore also clearly asked how you deal with this.
So that may be that you leave it completely cold. Or try to give it a twist so that it is also understood by the Thai. Or do we just accept everything.
So in no way has it become clear to you and hope that with this explanation you understand what it is all about.
All statements carefully read and thought through.
– Pushing ahead of the bus will be the case almost worldwide, we already did as children and this despite our neat upbringing. Countries such as England where people are neatly lined up (in the past anyway) are extremely rare. Moreover, on many buses the places are numbered so that I have no objection to being the very last to get on.
– Stand a few meters in front of you: You can just stand next to him, or let him get on first, the taxi bus will be waiting for you and really no reason to spoil your day.
– Get off when you get off, you can be sure that you will get off, they will not force you to sit back and wait for the next stop.
– I have never experienced an order being called out loud in 15 years, so I cannot judge it.
– Sitting with the legs wide open : In general, the body circumference of the average Thai is much less than the average Westerner, where 6 Thais sit, 3 to max 4 Westerners can sit. With a friendly request, they will, if possible, make room for you and possibly even offer their place.
– People who are bothered by loose hair have quite a peculiar vision in life.
– Employees in the shops are indeed not smiling and dancing to welcome you, but unlike in many other countries, they are expressly PRESENT and you should not look for an employee who, if there is any setback, will let you know it's not HIS territory.
Also, I do not take offense to people who rush to the checkout, often enough they only have ONE item and they are gone very quickly.
They may only have a few minutes off work, and I have a full cart and time to spare.
For some, existence in this earthly vale of tears must be a real ordeal.
Not for me, I enjoy every day without being annoyed by such details.