How is it…. (9)

It is now 22 years ago that I met the Thai T. We lived together for 10 years and with her I have a 20-year-old son who has been living with me for 9 years now. With a clear conscience I can say that with her nothing is (still) what it seems. Read the story of Lung Ruud.

Dat was did not nothing, never expected of gedacht that it so see would com en ik with B "het bed" would parts, maar the layman also unavoidable. Ik could er with it life and hopefully B also. A month of zo later waist B weer en asked me free direct of ik her missed en ja, that could ik did not to deny and they wilde me something important to tell, that could did not by de phone. Ik is next week weer to The Netherlands en wil je and keen to see. Okay, maar can je a tip of de veil lift so that ik approximately know about what the is going. No, that could did not maar ik could her believe the was a "surprise" en we spoke af en would to my home com. 

Ik speculated me suf, what could it be and actually I could only -also because of it geld that this flying back and forth had to cost - come to the conclusion that she had either inherited, or had won the lottery, which many people in Thailand so hoped for, for bathing and the trying to guess numbers through all sorts of -more or less- obscure ways. 

B did not have to be picked up from Schiphol, because she first went to her friend S. That I could follow. The day B was to come I had taken the afternoon off and waited for B, who but did not come and stayed away. The later it got, the more worried I was. A phone number fromn I didn't have girlfriend S or her address, so I just had to wait for her. There came a moment that she - at least 5 hours after the agreed time - still hadn't arrived. What to do? I had hat some point no more. Already checked and cleared the arrival times at Schiphol 7 times no more how and what. This also had little to do with a “Thai hour”. Another good one friend of mine called and it hpresented to me and I decided, at my wits end, nto the police station down the block. 

I entered there quite excited and the officer on duty asked me what he could do for me. I said “I have come to report a missing person, someone who has been gone for hours”. Well sir, someone is not immediately missing after a few hours, restiGo ahead, said the cop. Tell me, what is it about? I broadly told him the story so far and, of course, let it goiyou out. Do you have the fulliyour name and do you know where she is staying. Yes I have me, also the date of birth and she is with a friend S. Does that friend also have a last name? No, I don't know. That will be difficult to find sir. But, it's all noted, it's a grown woman and she can't walk in seven ditches at once, will she, sir? If we know something - so the agent - we'll call you. 

There she went in despair again, waiting at home for the liberating phone call. That came an hour or two later. Sir, would you like to come to the station, madam is here and it's all a bit complicated. What could be wrong I wondered and drove to the police station. Over there when I arrived I was taken aside and the officer said, “Sir, it's a bit complicated situation”. “We were able to track her down quite quickly because Mrs aliens police is registered and here -met is a temporary residence permit”. Is, what do you mean, she doesn't live here at all anymore, but has returned to Thailand. well no sir, that's right not. 

Oh dear, hIn the meantime, sweat was gushing from my forehead and down my back. That's not possible at all I stammered. Well sir, believe it. But where was she then, with friend S. No sir, with her husband, with her what? By her husband sir, the officer said calmly and sighed. Sir, we have this experienced things like this before and you are really not alone. That offered “comfort”, I became rebellious and started cursing. Sir, just calm down, have a drink and take your time. A little later the agent took me with him and there was B, with a suitcase and - at some distance - a young man. Which (b) seemed just like hahar “adventures” to know as me and who said “I am now withdrawing my surety”. Zo, so….B was crying tears in the meantime. The/her husband turned and walked it out of the police station. The agent asked, do you think so? hIt's all going to work out, yes I nodded and had no idea how. 

I took over B's suitcase and we drove to my house and frankly, I was stunned, angry, disappointed, frustrated, but also just angry. Now bring on your story, I said. B begon, yes it was true of the man, that she had not left at all, that when she saw me got to know had fallen in love and also left the neediyou gone. That came to light later on. 

Na her Marry en de coming to The Netherlands, was ze by her Mon min of More forced in de massage parlour to go working, her ouders were not poor en in bijna same adem "me pregnant from you", okay, okay, oh, zo...... 

Dat had to ik Even, of better what longer, businesses settle en knew nothing better and te say "how do you Know That de baby what's up?". Ze began even harder te to cry and therefor. Aan the fact that the my son is, doubt ik in the meantime a long time already did not More. He heeft same glance, same place op are Please as a ik, the same eye defect, same humor en above all, hij is just a terribly fine kid, around ik unbelievable many of love. 

What te do? In the meantime was the knap late coolrthe material moisture meter shows you the en HAD B herself meanwhile al weer nice recovered and asked of ze female friend S was allowed dial. In rad Thais expectant the conversation lined, whereby ik bijna exploded then ze began te Laughing. Ik could the laughable with not possibility to discover and they hurried herself the conversation te to end en te to tell that S a funny comment HAD made. Ik was standing (te many) op sharp. 

Finally the bed changes, moss in a kast made en na even a beer of what toch maar naar bed. Good zij thanks to was the weekend. From can day began the big lie en hang up of the story, as ik wilde that everybody would en could believe. With the real could ik natuurlijk nowhere at com. The expectant the story of young wife, divorced, is coming here via good female friend om te working at ander female friend in restaurant, make met during dinner -with friend of medium-, son in Thailand. Baby op coming, even maar Even unmentioned left. 

The Monday free taken en with B to de immigration police, draw number, patienceig to wait, story gedat, information got, paar day later back with income statement, baptismal certificate businesses lights, regularly. Later lawyer wanted, her parting deployed and again watched ze me expectant at....... en ik paid the bills. 

B clearly made that massage real pass must are en further bugger also. En, ik can a long story zo businesses of shorter to tell -what ik so doe-, to school, Dutch teaching methodology, to an education, as a profession teaching methodology. Vcaring layman B what, okay, do. well, ze came keen to onder de people. Er was natuurlijk even a "trifle" en that concerned the school fees about this de son in Thailand en the board at de zus, want make lived hij at in. Okay, regel ik also. 

Na nice what It will become easier en perils -in de time between B's coming en birth of de son-, whereby ik me long did not always good heb to behave en op a given moment also heb said that ze please op had to salts to Thailand. Ik cooks the ticket en she went. Money with it, about this son stay Pay, maar ik HAD real unwind necessary. A number weeks later waist ze en asked of ze back was allowed come because ze me missed. Ik could not no zeggene, B wore my child en ze came so back. 

Then busy with nursery decorate, was toch nice, with it to de pouf gym, de midwife, in short, ik expectant vader. Parents en family informed en op the work told that we a baby to get. So far, so good en that ging the then finally also . Begin March, almost op de due Datum om 16.00 Hours phone call op de matter, baby en route. To home "flown". B with briefcase to hospital brought, B very dapper, gaf not kik, baby geboren, brand new father dared navel cord did not by te to cut. B, Like this quickly restored that de nursing na a pair hours said that ik clothing en de maxi cozy could Pick-ups, so that moeder en child with it to home could. Back in the Hopital, not nursing can could help out with moeder en child to decorate. Mother assisted, child in bad done en dressed, bijna ready then nursing at me asked “what are you doing now”, well you can see that. In the wheelchair to the exit, the car and home and there for hours - the child in between on the couch - watching him “stupidly”. Jeez, he was "ugly". 

Son grew well, was in the nursery when mother was at school and volunteered at a childcare worked, pending the required language level. Hard work and a lot outside with the little man. Bought bicycles, seat and to Zandvoort or more nearby. The child pulled fortunately pretty quickly to a nice mantyou. Yet again noise because I have the double bottom in her suitcase when I put it in the storage room. In it everything that I - then certainly not more- wanted to know, such as tickets for a football match in England -with ex- and photos of that from the year before and the necessary. 

Again goodbye taken en B to Thailand. This could zo real did not longer en heb B wanted back te com na a pair weeks. Ik missed my son zo en her also. 

Son was in the meantime bad a year, grew good en steadily, was funny en very open. Everything we op an evening at the riding a bike were en er a stel guys "h..r" to her shouted. What is the NET a bit quiet become en than this. Ik was total of stroke, how unrealistic that also was, maar toch. 

Dat flightryear came er a similar function -as a can ik al HAD-, free in a ander part of the country. below the mom of More unwind, ik HAD me te plater worked in de years therefor, better environment for the child en that was around. He HAD in the meantime a kind curse heard of a boy from de crèche en used can te to en te inappropriate. Op my work understood ze the completely en ik thought that de reality te avoid would are, did not so. 

A house found in a nice village, horrible nice neighbors, busy with the House to the stroke in de weekendn, goodbye record de businesses en move. Then a relatively length period of unwind, Finally. Also hard working, maar also More time, B searched en found a job en the ging best good. In the backyard, built a hut, a pirate ship, a swimming pool, it was fun. Really nice neighbors with whom we raised a lot. Bought a sailboat and caravan and messed around with the boat a bit. At one point a dog also came, so it was complete, right? 

The years passed as did the seasons. Regularly a few weeks to Thailand where everything is now also waxis vchanged. B's parents were very, very happy when we came with son and even more with him than with us, I think. The sisters had more children and it became one cozy chicken coop, sanuk and sabaai. Always rented a car and traveled a lot with and without the family. 

We went to Thailand again, things were already a bit more difficult between us. It had become more restless on both sides. Son had already been to primary school in the village for a long time. Once well and good in Thailand, B informed me that she had registered for.... a massage course in Chiang Mai. Of course hahad they said nothing about it before we left. Of course she could think that I couldn't agree. That didn't matter. B went and left me to take care of son. 

Of course that became a fight, why did I ask, I want to become independent” was her answer. But not in fucking massage anyway. It is a traditional massage training, B said. I don't care, no massage after all. But B went through the training and successfully. 

The atmosphere between us became to cut. I knew this was going to be the beginning of the end but didn't know what happened to my son. A few weeks after returning home, I informed her that we had to break up. Apparently she had already counted on that and had it within a few days had access to a large mobile home and registered for a house in a village von it. 

We agreed that I would pick up our son every weekend and so it happened. In the meantime, B, who had become proficient in the Dutch language, had contacted the civil-law notary to have the cohabitation agreement and the wills dissolved. asked one benefit, worked at the same time and sought a lawyer in order to have the child support and visitation arrangements recorded. 

Once there was a court session and B would drive there with men. In the car the agreements we had made together. In court, the alimony demand, articulated by her lawyer, was much, much higher than our agreement. It it turned out that she had told her lawyer, "take him, he deserves enough". DThe access arrangement also turned out to be completely different from the one we already used and which had worked fine in the months before…

To be continued