Lung addie was recently invited to a Thai wedding ceremony. The daughter of the poeijaanbaan (mayor) of my village married the son of the poeijaanbaan of another tambon.
It would be a "real" traditional Thai wedding with everything down to the last detail according to the old Thai tradition. For this occasion, a “Master of Ceremony” was hired to make sure that no detail would be overlooked. Of course the ceremony will be different from other places in Thailand, but I can only describe what I experienced here and would like to share it with the readers of Thailandblog because it was a wonderful and educational experience that few readers have already witnessed.
The whole event in ancient times took place over several days, but the reconstruction takes place in a single day. The ceremony takes place in several steps which I will try to return as best as possible.
Entering the bride-to-be's village
Entering the village by the husband-to-be was not an easy thing to do. The bridegroom-to-be was accompanied by a whole group of people, all dressed in loincloths (sarong), and bare-chested in front of the men, waving palm leaves and banana leaves. The women dressed in traditional dress with paatung. With drums and music, dancing, for people had to hear them coming from afar. The groom-to-be is accompanied by a kind of "best man", the negotiator, and both were dressed in their best. At the entrance of the village, the group is stopped and negotiations have to take place, not by the soon-to-be, but by his “best man”. After the negotiation, a certain amount of money is paid and then the group is allowed to continue to the house of the bride-to-be.
Entering the home of the bride-to-be
Here, too, the bridegroom-to-be is not allowed to just knock and enter. This must be done by his best man. First, the intentions must be made known and negotiations are carried out in this regard. Here, too, a sum of “entrance fees” must be paid in the end. These negotiations do not take place with the mother, but with another family member.
Negotiations with the bride-to-be's mother
After permission to enter the woming, negotiations must first take place with the mother, who is the real boss at home. The bride-to-be is nowhere to be seen. This negotiation also takes place by the “best man”. The bridegroom-to-be is touted by him as being the best match for the nubile daughter. Negotiations take place about what the future has to offer: gold, money, property, social position, good character, not a drunk, working...
Meeting the bride-to-be
After mother has consulted with her husband and they have come to an agreement, the bride-to-be appears. Of course made up and dressed like a gem and agreements are made when the rest of the ceremony will take place.
Honoring the family elders
The eldest members of the bride's family are gathered and seated in a row. One by one they are honored by the bride and groom by, kneeling, by placing their heads in the hands of the family elders who then mutter unintelligible words to Lung addie. It will be about wishing prosperity and happiness.
Inclusion in the family
This part is almost the opposite of the previous one, but instead of the older ones it is now the younger members of the family who come one by one to honor the future couple sitting together as a sign of acceptance in the family. This is done by pouring water, with fragrant flower petals, over the folded hands of the betrothed.
Handing over the dowry
Only now is the dowry brought out and placed before the mother. This consisted of several trays with packaged food, drinks… even packs of cigarettes were in between. One bowl was filled with money and gold jewelry. Some liase notes of 1000THB, gold earrings, gold necklaces, bracelets…. half a jewelry store….
The dowry ( sinsot ) is NOT touched but only viewed by mother and of course by the rest of those present. All you hear is muttering in the background….
Note:
1 – The possible failure to give a dowry, a worthless or too small dowry, would mean that the future bride does not value his future bride. The sinsot is a sign of ability to take good care of her and the family in the future. If these conditions are not met, which is exceptional as they have already been negotiated in advance, it would mean the end of the ceremony.
2 – In principle, the mother may keep the dowry completely for her as compensation for taking the daughter away. However, in more wealthy families, the dowry is given to the "daughter" as the start of their marriage.
Buddhist traditional wedding
The Buddhist wedding takes place in the temple. In this case, where the entire ceremony was completed in one day, this was at 10.00:7 am, as the monks are not allowed to eat after noon. However, in normal circumstances, this happened in the early morning at XNUMX am.
The bridal couple is kneeling in front of the row of monks on duty who chant prayers and regularly sprinkle a shower of holy water over them.
After the consecration of the marriage, the monks who are served with food by the bridal couple eat first. See so…. they are married for Biddha and will live happily ever after….
Festivities
The course of the rest of the party will be described by Lung Addie in a subsequent article. Otherwise this story will be a bit too long and the party is also a story and experience in itself.
PS: I don't expect any reactions like: with us it was completely different: to the temple and that's it, no sinsot because I don't participate in that. We have already read enough of these reactions and, as far as this story is concerned, this does not help anyone. This story is about a “traditional Thai-Thai” marriage in better circles and still exceptionally takes place in this way. There are also few farangs who actually witnessed or will witness it.
Everything I read I have experienced from the pig's head in the house to the dowry
But since my wife had already been married once, the dowry was given back to me in the evening, it was in front of the church people, they say in the Netherlands
I was once a “witness” at such a wedding.
I had taken the pictures.
It went about as described in the article.
Unfortunately, the marriage only lasted 10 days.
Additional but forgotten…. also mention all the reasons why a sin sod is actually no longer justified to ask ..... yes ....?
A certain quota of the marriageable daughters falls under this…, do stop presenting that culture to the farangs unless these parents have fulfilled all the conditions regarding the “condition” of these marriageable daughter(s)…
Which does not mean that everyone naturally does what he wants .., but then also respect that "cultural norm" 100% if you set that as the norm, .... which is not and, a purely a custom from the well-to-do class adopted for profit by the subgroup.