My neighbor's death

Yesterday around 22.00 pm my back neighbor, a cousin of Nit's mother, passed away 1 day (2 hours) before he would turn 76. Nit was there and after his death he also slept there. I visited him in the morning, 12 hours earlier. In the evening he requested a Thai flag (mine) to hold in his last hours.

He had been really old and weak for a long time. The last week has been bad. He couldn't eat anymore. To the hospital. In the Netherlands they would then force you to feed them with tubes to keep you strong and to stretch the process. Here they said after 1 day: go home. So don't eat anymore and occasionally a spoonful of water and wait.

That took four days. Yesterday morning surrounded by visitors like me, close and somewhat distant relatives (such as Nit and a niece of Nit, so a daughter of another niece of his, the eldest sister of Nit's mother, who lost her husband in January). Nit's cousin helped him cough and used toilet paper to remove mucus from his mouth. In the Netherlands we have whole discussion programs about whether you can require children (and the patient) to wipe their buttocks.

This morning the whole neighborhood (except me, because I have to write this) turned out to build the necessary tents around the house (man's work). Also Nit is now helping again. The box just arrived. And to ensure that all visitors have enough to eat in the coming days (women's work), some material, such as bowls and plates, also arrived.

All the work was done by family and neighbors. In the Netherlands, the Dela does that and then we find everything so expensive!! (Stop here for a moment, because my wife orders me to take a shower now, because I have to douse my neighbor's hand with water with flowers. So see you soon.)

I quickly shower and go. There was no need to rush. The back neighbor wasn't ready yet. So wait. Typically Thai.

In the meantime, everything was built up. For this you need some trees to hang cloths. So cap. Without anyone from the municipality being there to check the felling permit.

While I was waiting with Nit for a canvas to be made with his photo and life dates, I see that his death date is written down, but only the year 2480 for birth. Older Thai people only know the year, also on the ID card .

I say to Nit why not 25/6/2480 because today would be his birthday. Nit says that to the daughter-in-law, but she says no, we only know June and the year and born on Tuesday (very important in the Thai experience, they always ask: on which day were you born) and because today is Tuesday the wife said yesterday it's his birthday tomorrow. Then I should have 'celebrated' it last week. As if your birthday always falls on a Tuesday after you were born.

During the waiting time I was visited by many flies. There were many of them (strange word for such a gathering). During the sprinkling of water, the daughter sitting next to him fluttered the flies from his face, while he was the only one who was not bothered by them.

Then the farewell ceremony. Always a special experience and a nice gesture. Then in the box and the box in the outside 'freezer box'.

Nit's mother will not experience the cremation, because she has to undergo five days of chemo for the third consecutive time on Friday.

So, now you know something about this beautiful country. Never too old to learn, a man with experience speaks (writes) abroad.

Submitted by Jaap