Isan experiences (6)

Partly inspired by a question on social media, De Inquisitor started thinking about why he came to Thailand, why he loves it. Most of the answers were clichéd. The climate. The food. The culture.

Few dared to say “the opposite sex”. Or the low regulation. Or the low lifespan.
That kind of thing keeps haunting The Inquisitor's head, he starts to think. Because he himself has had to adjust his opinion regularly due to his experiences here.

The first time he came to Thailand by chance. A befriended couple, he Belgian and she Thai, with a renowned Thai restaurant in Antwerp - and there were not so many in Belgium at the time - asked to come along during the end of the year nineteen hundred and ninety. It overtook The Inquisitor. South America, that was his preference after a few previous trips. But still, OK, why not.

Immediately after arriving at the hotel in Bangkok, De Inquisitor went for a walk through this metropolis, the rest of the group wanted to take a nap first. The Inquisitor was immediately caught by Bangkok. The heat, the crowds. The variety, the Narai hotel was on Silom Road, a long street, no skytrain back then. All houses and buildings are commercial – an office or a shop. Full of nationalities from all over the world, close by is an Indian district and a little further is China Town. Traffic took his breath away, he was nearly run over by a taxi while crossing a side alley. He bumps into an ancient temple, sudden silence through the greenery, only ringing bells. Three monks walking around the temple, in those orange-brown robes, it seems they are floating. They mumble mysterious mantras.

He came, gradually lost, on the banks of the Chao Praya. A world of differences there: modern and luxurious hotels on one bank, hovels on the other. The bustle of the ferries crossing the river, squirming between primitive cargo boats being pulled along. The longtail boats that shoot between them. Strangely enough, the river is still clean enough to contain fish. Water turtles too, there is even a monitor lizard on a rock. Green floating plants, en masse. How can that survive, thinks De Inquisitor.
He liked Bangkok, what a city!

The Thai girlfriend was from a good background with many relationships. So we had a car with driver for free. He took us to the most beautiful sights of the city, and then on a tour. Ayuttaya. Pitsanulok. Kao Yai. Wonderful first impressions. We met Thai people who were extremely friendly and hospitable, The Inquisitor was never allowed to pay, his dinners, his drinks. To be embarrassed.

And then we headed south. Past Pattaya, De Inquisitor had never heard of it, so we didn't stop there at first. Ban Phe and other coastal towns, so picturesque, palm trees on the beach, many restaurants with delicious food. Exploring islands by boat, paradise.

The last two days at least Pattaya, the girlfriend a bit giggly, she doesn't know how De Inquisitor will react, in Belgium she knows him as a normal young businessman. The Inquisitor, naive at thirty-two years old, was amazed. He couldn't handle it: so many nice young ladies in the company of often much older and physically unattractive men. Evening Walking Street, the GoGos. And given his own age, he received a lot of attention from that beautiful woman. Wow.
But still, once towards the airport, Don Muang at the time and a four-hour drive, the idea was: Pattaya, that is not Thailand.

On the return flight I immediately felt homesick. I want to go back to Thailand. That feeling would return over and over again for the next fifteen years. Three months later, De Inquisitor was back in Thailand. Neatly prepared, a self-compiled tour. Bangkok, where De Inquisitor wanted to stay for a few days anyway. Visit less common places. China Town, hardly a tourist to be seen at the time. Other sights that travel agencies didn't include like the Golden Mountain. Rent a longtail, with a helmsman of course. The Inquisitor wants to get off the beaten path, show me real river life, please.

Then plane on, Chang Mai for about five days. Beautiful mountain regions there, tours took him to other places, including a tourist trip to a hill tribe - something The Inquisitor never wanted to do again afterwards, what a staged deception, what a show just for the money. Just like that Drielandenpunt. Nothing to see. De Inquisitor thought the four-hour elephant ride through the forest was just beautiful, then back on a raft and that was more like rafting, there had been a lot of rain.

Back on the plane, Koh Samui. A paradise in those years. Sleep in a wooden house on the beach. Rent a jeep, explore the island. Relax, luxurious saunas in caves with open-air massage. Dinner at sunset, breakfast at sunrise. And then, the last five days, anyway to Pattaya. The hormones that piqued curiosity or what?
And yes, it looked dirty again. Not yet developed then as it is now, asphalt was only there until Third Road, which was then a dirt road. But there were the bars, the restaurants, the entertainment.

And so The Inquisitor began to know Thailand, little by little. Gradually, Pattaya had always become the base, with many interludes to other regions. Contact with the local population was limited, only with the service staff everywhere, without exception everyone was friendly and helpful. The Inquisitor did start to find his way in Pattaya, got to know Belgians and became comrades with them. We went out together, having fun. And yet The Inquisitor began to think differently than many. Why are these women doing this? How do they keep up with that, having to be cheerful every day, always willing to go wild with strange men. He often started talking to it, but hardly got anything out.

In the meantime, De Inquisitor already knew: I want to come and live in Thailand, he was already getting tired of the excessive regulations and interference in Belgium. And slowly took the necessary steps during each holiday. Set up a company, buy a house, buy a motorcycle, get a Thai driver's license. As a result, he already had more contact with the local population. Even more so when he came two or three times a year from then on, the house had been deliberately bought in the middle of a Thai neighborhood, De Inquisitor had no interest in such a farang neighborhood with security. He learned to speak the language little by little, with difficulty, but after about three years he was able to organize everything independently without speaking English or needing an interpreter.

His Thai neighbors were very nice people, hospitable and helpful. Not really poor, but certainly not rich. The immediate neighbour, Manaat, became a good friend. He took The Inquisitor to relatives in Bangkok, to his wife's family in Buriram. A neighbor across the street took De Inquisitor to Nakom Phanom for an annual village festival, the long ride was provided with music and drinks all night long with such a party bus. A moving discotheque, what a party.

This is how De Inquisitor started to gain insight into how ordinary Thai people live.
In the district there were also immigrants from Isaan. Who worked twelve hours a day for very little money, seven days out of seven for months. And sent as much of that meager income as possible to the family at home. They told how they were often treated badly by their employers, but also by tourists.

And so he began to review his attitude. Because in the Pattaya bars he heard the same stories over and over again. How farangs were cheated, how bad and lazy the Thai are. How stupid they were and how corrupt. No, The Inquisitor realized it: that is cafe talk. Naturally, there are such people here, as everywhere. And in Pattaya there are simply the daredevils, the gangsters. What do you want?

The Inquisitor felt comfortable. Hardly came to Pattaya center, in Nongprue there were also bars, even though it was literally and figuratively the Darkside, he had three bars where he became a regular. And now he could talk to those girls because he was seen as a reliable, regular customer, always cheerful, never pushy. And always: respectfully. That's how he started to see that it's not all cake and egg in Thailand. That there are poor people with hopeless situations, and that's how these ladies come looking for money. First they try to find a normal job, they are exploited or put under pressure and then they sell their body, the only instrument they have. And again he revised his opinion: no, those women don't like to do that at all, but they are so professional that they don't show it.

And then the unbelievable happened. After all these years of living in Thailand, that had never happened to him. He saw sweetheart for the first time and he couldn't take his eyes off her. The new cashier for the Brass Monkey bar. There he was a member of the pool team, the open pub had many Belgians and Dutch as regular customers. He couldn't get her out of his mind, The Inquisitor was hooked. Found his normal two visits a week becoming much more. Started getting jealous when another man hooked up with her.

But see: slowly but surely we grew together and became a couple.
Both very suspicious at first, The Inquisitor considering the stories about Isan ladies he had heard. It was sweet because she thought that farangs in Pattaya were not too strict about loyalty to the partner. But still, a lot of talking helps and mutual trust was established. The love and he also got tired of the Pattayaan conditions. Because wherever we came to have fun, there were always farangs who spoke nicely, even touched when The Inquisitor was playing pool or talking elsewhere. And certainly when we went out on Walking Street. Pattaya is nice for a holiday, not for living, we both thought.
The joint decision was made: we move to Isaan.

Where he got to know a completely different Thailand. Another foreign language, a much more extreme climate, and above all, poorer than what De Inquisitor thought possible. Thrown backwards in time it seemed, wooden houses, primitive tools, old techniques. But with an enormous knowledge of nature from which they get a lot of useful things. And again: hospitable and friendly people. Who, without owning anything, shared what they had, including with The Inquisitor. Also: the relationship became more open, the sweet told her life story little by little, which is true for about eighty percent of the Isaaners. Through love, De Inquisitor met other ladies with whom he could talk about less easy subjects.
And again The Inquisitor revised his opinion on Thailand and the Thai. Despite their bad situation and the fact that they are exploited, they remain positive people.

The Inquisitor now realizes that he loves the land and its people, despite its flaws.
Thailand is fascinating and versatile.
Of course there are personal preferences: yes, the climate. The low lifespan. And the feeling of freedom has become even stronger because of Isaan. No exaggerated government regulations. Building, starting a business, so busy without hassle. No comments from others, no finger pointing. No whining about anything.
No police lurking around to give you a fine. No neighbor whining because your dogs bark at night. No jealousy, live and let live is the motto.

The Inquisitor likes that you have to draw your own plan more, no guidance from cradle to grave.
To live is to take just enough risk to make it fulfilling.

And that last one is just the difference. We can make our lives fulfilling.
Ordinary Thai people can only survive.
And there finds The Inquisitor, too little account is taken of many comments.

So De Inquisitor would like to know: why are you attracted to Thailand?