Thai marriage migrants in Belgium

Editors: I came across this article about mixed marriages in Belgium and thought it was worthwhile. It was already published once in 2008 in Mondiaal Magazine. Quite a lot of Thai women who are married to Belgians live in Belgium, the Thais form a close-knit community among themselves.

The call of the West and the nostalgia for the East

An inattentive passer-by can blame the pleasant bustle on the Kouterstraat in Mechelen on a Flemish Fair. The monotonous singing in the back of the street suggests otherwise. Under the watchful eye of a giant Buddha statue and the approving gaze of the Thai Queen Mother, the Flemish-Thailand community celebrates its version of Mother's Day.

You don't have to have a sharp eye to see that the women in the Buddhist temple are of Thai descent, while their husbands are all Belgians, whose pale skin contrasts strongly with the exotic beauty of their Thai husbands. The women are aware of the stereotypes that are in both Thailand as in Belgium are their share. In their own country, they are often regarded as prostitutes, while Belgians look pityingly at a Thai beauty at the side of an elderly white man. In the temple no one is surprised by those mixed marriages anymore.

Folklore with fries

On a weekday, the temple is teeming with bustling Thai people. They cook for the monk and do other household chores. In between there is prayer and meditation. “We come to the temple to do good,” Noi says. Buddhism is based on merit. If you do something good, your karma will be cleared, as it were,' continues Waldimar Van der Elst, secretary of the temple and connoisseur of Eastern culture.

'Thailand is a male society and education in Buddhist theory is not granted to women. Yet they are deeply religious. However, their knowledge is limited and their beliefs are sometimes rather superstitious. They adhere to traditional practices, many of which do not even belong to Buddhism or were imported from India. There is a Buddhism for every level. The higher levels throw all folklore overboard, but these women attach great importance to it.'

Wat Dhammapateep – Temple of the Light of Teaching – presents itself as a meeting place for Thais and Belgians with a heart for Thai culture. In addition to Buddhist meditation classes, Thai dance and language are also taught. In this way, the purposes of the temple are broader than the spiritual. On a Saturday afternoon it is very busy. The women practice traditional dances. The children get Thai lessons, after which they eat fries with currywurst. That can count as a bridge between the Thai and Belgian culture. And the Belgian men, they sat there and watched. They exchange experiences and here and there one bravely starts a Thai language course.

Joeri, a Thai language student, explains: 'I met my wife on a domestic flight in Thailand. The spark immediately flew, but a relationship was difficult if we lived so far apart. After a lot of traveling back and forth, we got married in Thailand and my wife came with me to Belgium.'

His wife Laksamee completes the story: 'The first years were very difficult. I did not speak Dutch and was alone at home, while my husband went to work. Now that I can speak Thai and dance again here in the temple, I feel better about myself.' For many, the temple compensates for the loss of family and homeland.

'The Thai form a very close-knit community,' says Petra Heyse, researcher at the UA. 'On the one hand, the women can go to each other in a country where they do not yet feel completely at home. On the other hand, it also puts a burden on their shoulders. They are ready for each other 24 hours a day. This prevents them from separating themselves from the community to build their own lives. In this way, the strong community ties also hinder the integration process.'

The Monk and the Professor

Every third-country national is obliged to follow an integration programme, but for Thai women the chance of success also strongly depends on the intentions of their husband. Is he just looking for a house slave or does he want a marriage with a good basis? The language problem remains the biggest obstacle to their integration. Many Thai get by with a few words of English. However, Laksamee's luck lay precisely in the fact that she did not speak English.

Joeri: 'Many men switch to English if their wives do not understand Dutch. But that's not how the women learn Dutch.' Even after years in Belgium, very few Thais speak Dutch. Laksamee, meanwhile, speaks it fluently. Her children understand a little Thai – useful when they visit their grandparents – and if the language lessons pay off, Joeri will soon speak a little Thai too.

In the early years of the temple, the monk came to Mechelen with a tourist visa for three months at a time. Van der Elst, who is called “the professor” by the Thai because of his knowledge, but undoubtedly also because of his organizational skills, put his shoulders to the wheel and obtained a long-term visa for the monk.

'This allowed the temple to really start last summer. After all, the organizational qualities and spiritual authority of the monk are indispensable for the proper functioning of the temple. His impact on the Thai, the way in which he brings them together and puts them to work, is unlikely for Westerners,' says Van der Elst. "Due to the permanent presence of the monk, the number of members has doubled in recent months to 550."

The Thais wanted to give Van der Elst a statue, because he made the almost impossible possible by bringing the monk to Belgium for a long time. I don't need anything, says Van der Elst modestly. He hopes that the arrival of the monk will enable the temple to contribute more to the emancipation of women. And in the meantime he has simply cleaned up his karma.

Source: MO