Lending money to a bargirl, how will that end?
Hardly had I moved into my room when a message came in from Cat. You may remember Cat, she spent half her life working as a bar girl in Pattaya, but since the birth of her daughter three years ago, she mostly stayed in the Isaan.
She has been my support, source of information, guide, interpreter, nurse and so on for as long as I have been in Pattaya. We are not brother and sister, but we kind of live like that. Every now and then I stop her. Six months ago I flew her over to Pattaya for a few days and that actually led to her picking up her old job again. Her daughter now goes to school and is taken care of by the family.
With many good intentions she had started as a waitress in September, but she didn't get on very well with the boss. And earning 6.000 Baht per month with a room rent of 3.500 Baht is no party either. She was then supposed to work at the front desk of an apartment complex, but the Ladyboy's boyfriend from whom she was supposed to take over the job didn't show up, so that didn't happen.
Then back to bar life. And that is not easy either. She's now in her mid-thirties and the Jack-Cokes have shed some pounds. The piggy bank for the clothing store is emptier than ever. She also has a 13-year-old son. He regularly causes problems because he hangs out with the wrong friends.
Again he was the cause of the nasty message I received, although this time he was not to blame. Something is wrong with the boy's knee. He was operated on a few months ago, but that did not help enough. Next week he will have to go under the knife again. Of course Cat would like to go home for a few days to be there, but you guessed it, the money is missing for that. So yes, Cat has now asked if she can borrow money from me. My response was threefold:
- How are you going to pay that back?
- Are you going to win the lottery?
- How much do you want to borrow?
Cat needs 5.000 Baht and then I get it back April 20, it turned out. She is scheduled to leave April 8 and return April 12, so there is still time, so I replied that I would think about it.
The same day in the late afternoon I visited her in Soi 7, the Happiness Corner Bar. This is the former Happiness Agogo, which had to close its doors two months ago due to waning interest and has now been converted into a beer bar. Apart from the opening party, not many people were to be seen. I think it depends on the decor. Apparently they have tried to turn it into a cozy family bar, with mainly tables and chairs. Similar to the Aussie Bar and adjoining establishments just down the road towards Second Road. But you can't pull the people sitting there away and most of the Soi 7 customers just want a bar to hang out at and nice girls behind it. So it doesn't run for a meter.
I asked Cat – not quite seriously – if there was any warranty on the previous operation. That question was misunderstood, but it did provide information that her sister, who is married to a German, guarantees the costs of 35.000 Baht. I didn't make a decision about the requested loan yet and put her into a frugal 100 Baht that would be used for food.
By now I'm done. I have informed her that she can borrow 5.000 Baht and that I want 20 Baht back on April 3000. If that doesn't work, I'll forget her. And if that works, then I forget the last 2.000 Baht. And so I am looking forward to at least three exciting weeks.
So I no longer need your good advice, but you can say what you think about it, or how you think it will turn out. Because afterwards everyone already knew it in advance.
– Relocated in memory of Frans Amsterdam (Frans Goedhart ) † April 2018 –
April 20, 3000, I hadn't thought that far yet...
In any case, come and get a beer before then, you can recognize me by a very wrong white sweatband.
Dear French,
Sorry, maybe it's just me, but when I read what she has meant to you for years, friend, interpreter, source of information, support and refuge, nurse, etc., then you owe her more than she owes you.
There the question arises more, how you want to pay this back, and there a donation of 5000 bath is actually a bargain.
Dear John,
What you write down here was exactly my 1st thought, what is 5000 bath compared to ” She has been my support, source of information, guide, interpreter, nurse and so on for as long as I have been in Pattaya. We are not brother and sister, but that's how we live a bit” as Frans A'dam describes it himself, I wouldn't have a stomach ache for a minute to give/loan that amount to that person.
By the way, maybe you will get the money back or part of it, but who knows what antics she will have to do for that, that she will get into even more trouble, (loanshark bv) I would consider it a gift and if she can spare something then see what you pay back
best regards,
Lex k.
Normally you will lose the money.
The Thai usually don't have big reserves, so if she doesn't have the money now, she won't have that money on April 20th either.
Furthermore, you brought her to Pattaya six months ago, which brought her back into bar life.
I would just forgive her the money as punishment.
The rest of that crime will be settled during your next reincarnation.
A boy normally doesn't hang out with the wrong friends.
He's one of those wrong friends that all the other parents' kids hang out with.
Hello French,
I support the loan, after all, you already indicate yourself 'She has been my support, source of information, guide, interpreter, nurse and so on for as long as I have been in Pattaya. We're not brother and sister, but we kind of live like that.'
In my opinion it is not so relevant whether you get everything back, it is about whether you want to help her a little bit or not and for a friend you do that according to your possibilities.
I do believe that lending money to a Thai usually causes difficulties in the form of paying back or not.
Really exciting how it ends! Will be partially refunded….
Regards Joy
“She has been my support, source of information, guide, interpreter, nurse and so on for as long as I have been in Pattaya.”
In that case I would just give her that amount. Don't borrow, because borrowing = giving in Thailand. The amount of 5000 baht is manageable. I just don't think it should happen (much) more often.
The tenor is clear. That money is not coming back. Lending money is never wise. Better to just give it or do nothing. Well, in practice, borrowing and giving come down to the same thing, and not just in Thailand.
Perhaps there will be an official rule in the new Thai constitution that money may only go from Farangs to Thais, but on the other hand such a rule is superfluous, because a waterfall, as everyone knows, does not flow up either.
Borrowing money from a Thai is asking for trouble if you want the money back. Pass this through services rendered on her part and thus maintain the friendship or relationship, otherwise I'm afraid you can forget about her by the middle of April.
gr. and strength
Dear French,
My advice, I've lived here for 15 years now, just give her money if you like her. Don't borrow anything, ever. To nobody.
You will lose it anyway and it will make you and the lady feel better.
If only you could put your energy into a lady who works at a bank!
Greetings from hot Phuket,
Fred
Why bother so much about 5000 bath, that woman has done so much for you. I would be ashamed
to request a partial refund of this amount.
Greetings Lee
I expect she will do her best to return it because you are still her friend. Being in debt to someone is also a loss of face for a Thai. It would be very nice of you if she paid it back and then gave it back to her 1500 as a friend. You get something in return that you don't expect and she helps you even more in the future if she can. Friendships are beautiful try to trust each other what you already do. good luck
Dear French!
If that is such a good friend, then you just give 5000 Bath! I wouldn't even want them back! If you can give in your life, it's a wonderful gesture!
And find a girlfriend who doesn't work in the bar!
Good luck French!
Johan
What I understand is that that woman has helped you quite a bit, you say for years, she took care of you during illness and was there for you on quite a few other matters, you should not have lent her 5000 bath but should have given her 10000 bath, she has didn't need that money for fun. In need you get to know your friends. Sincerely, Henk Storteboom
What is 5000 baht? Converted, that is currently less than 150 euros. What are we talking about. 1 night out and you have lost more.
If it were 50.000 baht now, it would be something different. But in this case you just give that money to your 'sister'.
Agree 100 percent with Kees, be happy with this lady.
Ever heard. Who does good meets good?
I remember your earlier story well, give that girlfriend that money, in a real friendship this can't be a problem, then that friendship won't be lost, whatever you think about it, is the money for the expenses, etc. , forget it, don't figure it out, it's 5.000 not 50.000.
Whatever you think, advice is that if expansions are requested then it will be a different story.
Success.
Nico B
If she has helped you for years ….. (probably not for nothing, but come on) …..and it is indeed 5000 baht for an operation with which you can give a child a better life ….. consider that as a good cause and just give it .... what is 5000 bath for us now if you can help a child with it.
Many farangs spend more on booze and women on 1 evening. To end up with nothing at all… or a hangover.
I suspect it's going to be a kind of Greek loan, given and never getting back, because she simply can't pay it back. If you want to keep her as a friend, source of information, nurse and interpreter, I would give her the money, as long as it stays with this 5000 bath, it's not a big loss.
If she, like almost certainly can't pay back, she's going to avoid you to avoid losing face, so you lose a long-term girlfriend and the 5000 bath.
But she must understand that it is a gift that is not repeated every time, otherwise if she gets the feeling that it is easy, she will come more often.
If she comes back on April 12 and has to pay back the 20 baht before the 3000th, it will already depend on the patronage in the bar.
As others have said, just give it to her. If necessary, she will also keep you company after the 12th, then everyone will be happy again.
Hi French,
You will most likely never get that money back. Tell her she doesn't have to pay it back.
You both don't have to worry anymore and you stay friends.
Because in hindsight, every psychic also knows much better!
Have another fun joke:
A man comes to a psychic. He comes in, sits down and the lady in question puts her hands on the crystal ball and peers very intently into that ball for a few minutes.
Oh sir, she says, how bad… your mother-in-law dies the day after tomorrow.
Yes, says the man, I know that, but I just want to know whether I will be acquitted!
Gr. Martin
Let yourself be surprised! something comes back fright you come nx; did you know 🙂
I have already lent 2000 baht to an ex girlfriend and reported it right away, I don't have to go back,
but she didn't want that; every month 200 baht back and indeed after 1 month 200 baht paid back properly,
unfortunately for her the months were up and pay back so too 😉 pay back is not in the Thai – English dictionary
Saw her a while back, but out of shame she quickly looked the other way, doesn't matter I know driving a moterbike taxi won't get rich.
If you can spare it, yes, lend money, but be careful with it.
Annoying, his money can go (not bad) but friendship can also go!!
Borrowing money in Thailand is almost the same as a gift!
Most are surprised when you ask back, or get angry.
Others think again, he doesn't need it after all.
I say if you're hungry you get to eat, but I don't borrow money.
Juum in Thai is translated as: borrowing under conditions, such as a sky-high interest that is collected daily by a few aggressive guys.
In all other cases it is translated give me.
My wife's younger sister was once in very serious financial trouble, everyone knows it. Toyota bought on installment, but hey, those monthly installments and that month is so short. So she lagged behind Toyota and they threatened to pick up the car. Sister panicked and finally asked me 20.000 Bhat.
Of course with the restriction that I cannot tell anyone and they will pay it back from the “bonus”.
Anyone who lives in Thailand knows the outcome; no bonus, no money, but the sister no longer dares to appear here in the house.
Why are we always so negative about the Thai ladies, And what's wrong with a woman who worked in a bar, if there's something wrong with that? Then there aren't many good men in the world because many and many go to these bars. What does that say about them?
I think he made a good and right decision. Especially the way he describes the relationship with her.
I think he has a good chance of getting his 5000 bath or possibly the 3000 bath back.
I have had a very nice relationship for years and have lent her money several times and always got it back down to the last penny. In Thailand you also have many people with a good and correct attitude and whom you can trust.
There are plenty of Thai people who keep their word. In the Bar circuit, most Thais also have bad experiences with Farang, who often throw money around as if they were Rotchild themselves. In addition, the ladies are not aware that this is the holiday money and that once the Farang is home, they certainly do not go out so lavishly. Indeed, a "limited" amount for a Farang (which is different for everyone) you have to donate to someone, without the prospect of sufficient income to pay back.
It is different with large amounts, just ask how realistic their repayment plan is, assess it and make a decision. I myself have had 2 good experiences with different people, for amounts of THB 60.000 and 32.000. So it is certainly possible, but borrow with wisdom and also for a purpose that is worth advancing this money.
Paul Schiphol
Unfortunately my crystal ball doesn't work, so it could go either way. I assume -because you know each other longer than yeast and/or superficially- that the intention is to pay you back. If and how much I wouldn't dare say. That will depend, among other things, on how much money she earns this month and, of course, the necessary and unnecessary expenditure before the deadline. If you want to know an amount I say about 1000 bath.
If it concerns serious amounts, you must of course be smart with lending: ask for collateral such as car, land, etc. And arrange this properly so that in the event of non-payment you (read: your Thai partner) will actually be able to claim the collateral.
My wife herself only lent small amounts comparable to Frans here (or borrowed them), and that always turned out well because it mainly concerned people who also had a reasonable job with a salary between 18 and 30 thousand baths. Sometimes it took a little longer than promised.
That's how it works among the Thai indeed.
If one Thai borrows 50.000 baht from the other, then 20% interest per month is charged even if it is family. And they usually have to come up with collateral as well.
Dear,
I fully agree with Mr Henk Storteboom. You brought your girlfriend to Pattaya. She takes care of you, you have been together for years, etc… then I do not understand why you are so fussy for the paltry 5000 baht. Just help her by gifting her double. By the way, for what should be !!!
regards
Dear French,
If Cat is your support during your stay, I would accept in advance that it is not a loan. Thb 5000 is not a world amount, at least not for us. My idea would be: Speak to her sternly, then take your loss of Thb 5000, and enjoy your Cat while you can.
Life is too good and too short to let Thb 5000 ruin it.
Hi
what is it about 5000 bath
To borrow is to lose here
You give it to her
or not
Greetings
Kevin
Go to the Netherlands from May 15 to June 3, it would be nice if the people who still owe me would pay off their obligation to me with 20% Thai interest. Then I don't have to worry about the first six months euro. So also in the Netherlands people find pay back but nothing or it will probably never come
French,
I think this is a good solution from you. Of course I don't know if you're going to get it back, but you'll know right away if she thinks you're just as good a “brother” as you think her a good “sister”. I also wanted to come up with such an idea.
Just give the money, good for both parties. Sharing is a good principle, also call it giving good.
And be glad you can! If you have money.
I have a woman who, through her work as a manager in the construction industry (with 2000 employees), has gained a lot of human knowledge in more than 20 years and – if necessary – is tough. In concrete terms, this means that we sometimes lend money to people we trust and always ask what that money is needed for, possibly with a handwritten list of costs. We borrow money that is well spent, we do not borrow money that is badly spent (drinking, gambling, paying off debts, installments for cars and mopeds). We always mention that if you do not keep to the agreements (money destination, repayment) it will be the last time you will receive money. And my wife is beyond belief in that. We sometimes get that with comments in the neighborhood that we are 'bad' people (we have the money but don't help people in need) but when we hear that we are happy to explain the situation to the gossipers. We always got our loaned money back.
If we are not so confident (a friend of a cousin of the sister's neighbor in Verweggiesaan needs money) we always ask you to give us the name, address and telephone number of the beneficiary (e.g. the hospital where the cousin's friend is staying). .... needs to be operated or already is) so that we can verify the outstanding account and pay directly online. Much easier and safer than cash, we say. In 90% of the cases we hear nothing more.
Advice to French:
– 5000 Baht to travel up and down to Isan from Pattaya seems on the generous side. I would take her to the bus station and buy her a return ticket;
– the money may be needed to pay for the hospital. This can be done directly: there is email, scans of bills, online payments;
– if the woman in question does not lie, I would forgive her the amount afterwards. (before she borrows money from others to pay you off).
Cat doesn't seem to have a permanent partner, considered Chris, can, is a choice that everyone makes for themselves, sometimes a small amount can help people out of trouble, to add to your list,
-if there is a permanent partner, man or woman, let the partner also appear, you have some extra security, especially that the money does not disappear with the music.
-let the borrower sign for the loan amount, makes the matter more serious.
-for substantial amounts, ask for securities.
-check the borrower's income, stability of residence and repayment capacity.
There is so much more to think of.
Looked again at the posting date on this post, it says April 2, so it's not an April 1 joke from Frans, given the small amount, to see how many people on the blog respond to this post, that's exuberant and also very diverse. Nice.
Nico B
Dear Chris, Sorry….
If you read the story carefully, it should be noticed that this is a very good long-term girlfriend.
It was his anchor, source of information, interpreter, nurse, and so on, and they go through life almost like brother and sister, so that he is actually more indebted to her.
With everything she has done for him, and it concerns a one-off amount of 5000 bath, your advice to "Spiciness" is also unsurpassable.
Please read such posts – and the responses to them. Because that's what happens to most people.
Never lend money to a Thai yourself. And tell them that too. With the subtle remark that it hardly ever comes back. Then speak from experience and falls under the heading of 'tuition' with me.
However, do reach out to donate it. But there must be a damn good reason. And proof of sincerity.
But in your case; write them off in advance as fat loss post. But do it as you write. That will probably lead to a follow-up and reactions to this post. Looking forward to.
Furthermore, also have a surrogate sister and brother. They will never die of hunger or disease. Their gratitude in the nature of help is priceless. That's a win-win situation somehow. That you lost money. Well.
Davis.
If Cat cools you in the summer and warms you in the winter, I'd give her the money. A good friend is very precious in this country—you may still need her, and she'll never forget your noble gesture.
forget.