Frans Amsterdam in Pattaya (part 11): 'Exercise'

Frans Amsterdam has settled down again in Pattaya and entertains us, until there are no more 'like' ratings, with his experiences in a follow-up story.

Someone recently suggested in the comments that I wouldn't get enough exercise, because I didn't seem to get much further than the immediate vicinity of the hotel and favorite pub. That is absolutely correct.

Within a radius of 200 meters you can find just about everything a person needs. Various breakfast options to choose from, followed by extensive coffee in the Wonderful 2 Bar. There, the situation in the world in general and in Pattaya in particular is discussed with a few regular visitors. I also usually write my stories here in the afternoon, when it is much too hot to do anything else.

And why would I leave here? My ashtray is emptied three times an hour, I am refreshed from time to time with an ice water wipe, my pack is regularly checked to see if there are still enough cigarettes in it, paracetamol is taken out when I have a hangover, my nails trimmed and filed, someone comes by to polish my shoes, when new girls arrive who are introduced to me, when I threaten to forget the closing time of the laundry again, the man comes to take my laundry to the bar... Even the I have outsourced the exchange of Euros into Bahts, my confidence is rock solid and has never been betrayed. No, this is not just a bit of ordinary bar hanging, this is fully catered lounging in optima forma! On a bar stool, that is.

At the end of the afternoon a few beers to whet your appetite and stretch your legs. I don't get much further than Soi 13/1 or 13/2. 'You can eat on every corner of the street' is an understatement. If I have something in mind for dinner that requires bridging some distance, there is always a motorbike taxi that dares to take me on the back.

Relax in your room for two or three hours, with or without a relaxing massage. For the latter I don't have to leave the house either, a message to one of the acquaintances via Messenger or Thaifriendly and a little later there is a soft knock at the door.

Then it's time to start preparing for the hunt. That is, if there is no hitch in the cable, in the form of heavy rain or if a suitable candidate has already reported via the tablet. Usually it will be a motorcycle taxi to one of the areas where beer bars are concentrated, such as Drinking Street, Soi 3, Soi 6, Soi 7 and 8, Soi Made In Thailand, Soi Buakhao, Soi Honey, Soi LK Metro, Soi Diana, Soi 13/2 and /3, or the bar complexes along Second Road, Beach Road and Walking Street. Sometimes I have a 'goal', for example someone I have contact with on Thaifriendly, but have not yet seen in real life. If someone like that works in a bar, I usually go for a drink with them first, and then we'll see. Or I just go randomly. It doesn't matter all that much. Here too, however, you should definitely not imagine a grueling evening four days, it is bar hopping at best.

As soon as I've made my move, I have two motorbike taxis approach and it goes back to Wonderful 2 Bar. If I still need things for the night, those groceries are gladly done by the unsurpassed staff there. In the meantime, the band plays some of my favorite songs, I gratefully take advantage of the 'pay two, get three' offer, and there is usually still a food stall that attracts attention. Sprinkle a few lady drinks is of course appreciated, that is well worth the investment, you imagine yourself in at least the business class of an airplane, where you know all flight attendants personally and often even better. They also know your wishes like the back of their hand and seem to take a real pleasure in making you as comfortable as possible.

Sometimes things go wrong, like last week. A girl I had barfined in Soi LK Metro was a bit too enthusiastic about consuming the alcoholic drinks and went completely 'out' at 01.00. Nothing more to deal with. I don't have to worry about that at all, the patient is already taken care of before she falls off her stool, carefully placed on the floor by four ladies, a pillow under her head, a towel and a bucket, plus someone to monitor the most important bodily functions hold (see photo above). An hour later there was not much life in it, but the bar was closing. The help of two motorbike taxi boys was called in. They literally took the girl in their midst, carefully crossing the Soi, neatly into the hotel room. Followed by one of the helpful ladies who had now taken care of her personal belongings.

Of course, the one substantial exercise program that was scheduled never came to fruition….

– Relocated in memory of Frans Amsterdam (Frans Goedhart ) † April 2018 –