thaksin Shinawatra in 2008 – PKittiwongsakul / Shutterstock.com
Int: Good morning Khun Thaksin, or should I say Tony Woodsome?
Tony: You say Tony. I would like to get everyone, especially the people of Thailand, used to that name and fast.
Int: Why?
Tony: You are no doubt aware that the current constitution does not allow Prime Ministers to rule for more than 8 years in total. That rule was undoubtedly made with me or my sister in mind, but now Prayut seems to be falling victim to that rule itself. However the current suspension will end, Prayut will not return as prime minister after the election.
Int: But that also applies to you, doesn't it?
Tony: Yes, as Thaksin Shinawatra I can't be prime minister for another 4 years, but as Tony Woodsome I can. So, once the Pheu Thai wins the upcoming election and my daughter Ung-ing is Prime Minister, I will officially change my name to Tony Woodsome, and apply for a new passport here at the Thai Embassy in Dubai. Once I have that document, I can return to my homeland with peace of mind. The same is going to happen for my sister. She becomes Nancy Woodsome in her new passport.
Int: And you will both be arrested at the airport, I think.
Tony: I don't think so actually. Because Thaksin and Yingluck Shinawatra no longer exist. Interpol makes a press release that they can no longer find us and all lawsuits against us will be dropped.
Int: And how will it continue? You must have thought about that.
Tony: hhahaha, You seem to know Tony well. After a few months, I think at the end of 2023, Prime Minister Ung-Ing announces some changes in her cabinet. She appoints me Deputy Prime Minister and also Minister of Finance, Economic Affairs, Home Affairs and Agriculture: 4 portfolios.
Int: That saves in any case in the post salaries and 3 vans at the expense of the taxpayer.
Tony: No, I just get what I deserve: 4 times a minister's salary. And I lend those three vans to my children and sister.
Int: But isn't that a bit much, 4 wallets, and not the lightest either?
Tony: Nope. I'm used to, and my daughters and son know that, to arrange everything. I did that when I was prime minister as Thaksin. And with success. I know that not all fellow ministers were happy with that, so it is best if I am a minister myself at all those 4 ministries. That makes the discussion in the Council of Ministers simple, perhaps superfluous.
Int: Yes, I can't deny that.
Tony: And the story isn't finished yet. At the end of 2024, my daughter will implement a new cabinet change. Yingluck becomes Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Foreign Affairs because she likes to travel and buy bags and shoes everywhere. Tony Woodsome becomes the new Prime Minister and also retains all 4 ministerial posts. What can be done in secret in Australia can certainly be done in public in Thailand.
Int: Doesn't this scenario raise a lot of resistance from the yellow shirts, do you think? And will it be fighting in the street again?
Tony: We're going to try to get ahead of that resistance. Tony will be a different prime minister than Thaksin. Tony will try to reconcile the existing and somewhat exaggerated dichotomy between red and yellow. To achieve that, you have to do something for all parties that they really want.
Int: That sounds good. But do you also have examples of what you intend to do, for example for the poor Thais in the North East, the cradle of your popularity?
Tony: Sure. Let me first admit that Thaksin made a few errors of judgment during his reign. One concerns the entrepreneurial spirit of the poorer Thais and their critical thinking skills. The Thais would rather be lazy and rich than tired. Instead of diving into books, they spend all day playing with their smartphones. Did you know that the Thais, and not only the young but also the elderly, spend more than 10 hours a day on the internet? Facebook, Instagram, IMO, Youtube and now also Tiktok. That doesn't really make you smart.
Int: But sometimes richer than with work, if that work is already there.
Tony: Yes, you saw that right. With a little attractive Youtube and Tiktok channel you soon earn the minimum wage. So why would you go out and work at least 8 hours a day, 6 days a week in a factory or restaurant for the same amount of money?
Int: And what are you going to do about it?
Tony: Nothing at all, I'm afraid. Thailand is becoming a tik-tok country and the real work will increasingly have to be done by well-educated foreigners. That will only happen if we make it much more attractive for those foreigners to come and work in Thailand.
Int: You must have thought about some of the pioneering measures of the Woodsome administration…..
Tony: Right. And some of them are not new but have never been performed.1. There will be 1 visa for foreigners without conditions and that must be extended every year (can be done online) and costs nothing; 2. Foreigners in paid employment will earn at least 50.000 Baht per month; 3. Foreigners can buy property in Thailand; 4. Foreigners can start their own business in Thailand in all sectors.
Int: Wow…..
Tony: Yeah, we have to. My analysis is that a large part of the Thais are so devoted to the internet that they cannot be persuaded to work outside the home with a buffalo. Due to the aging population and to keep vital sectors of Thai society going, I call tourism, logistics, cannabis cultivation, fishing and shopping malls, we will have to rely on foreigners. For the many single and abandoned Thai women, this must also sound like music to the ears. In this way we will hopefully also keep the number of Thai babies up to standard in the coming years.
Int: And what should stop the Yellow Shirts from demonstrating against your government?
Tony: To be honest, apart from their boundless worship of the monarchy and their neo-liberal thinking, the Yellow Shirts don't have many specifics. Yes, they are anti-Red, anti-Shinawatra, anti-Jatuporn, anti-Nattawut, anti-Sudarat, anti-Thida, anti-Move Forward. But they're not really for anything. I am also in favor of constitutional monarchy and free enterprise as an economic philosophy.
Int: Red in Thailand doesn't mean social democratic?
Tony: No, absolutely not. I don't want to think about being compared to countries that are also known as the welfare state, such as Sweden or Denmark.
Int: Why not? Research shows that people in such a country are much happier than here in Thailand.
Tony: Well, they may be, but they're also the low-corruption countries. And that while a lot of money is involved in the government. It doesn't work that way in Thailand, not now and not in the future. The whole system here is aimed at spending about 25 to 30% of government spending on commissions, fake or overinflated bills, etc. That's what the elite lives on, whether it's the yellow or red elite. A good control system, once again overseen by a Court of Auditors, will be the death knell for the rich here. The yellows don't have to worry about me messing with this.
Int: Besides perpetuating the status quo in corruption, what else do you have in store for the wealthy?
Tony: In itself, the current crisis is a blessing for the wealthy. The prices of a lot of essential goods and services (groceries, petrol, building materials, gas) are going up and that is of course not much of a problem for the rich. And the income rolls in nicely. You would almost think that the covid crisis and the economic crisis were invented by the rich to make the rest of the population poorer.
Int: So that's enough for the Thai rich?
Tony: No, it's never enough. The new government will make it possible to operate casinos in Thailand. That's what the people want. And the poorer one is, the greater the temptation to get a lot of money at once. We're going to do this, along with a significant raise in the minimum wage, I'd estimate by 1 to 300% and the introduction of a basic income for everyone.
Int: Is there a connection between more money, more salary and casinos?
Tony: Yes, of course; otherwise we won't. Currently, Thais borrow money to gamble. We don't want that anymore. So we give them more money so they don't have to borrow anymore. They can then spend that money in the casino.
Int: Will there be as many casinos as 7Elevens?
Tony: Hahahahh, no, but a lot. We will promote that the casinos are set up as cooperatives of entrepreneurs. We already have a format ready and statutes of such a cooperative. If 10 or 20 local entrepreneurs operate such a casino, the growth in salaries neatly flows back to them through the casino. Money has to roll and so does the ball in the casino. "No bullshit, everyone rich". Wasn't that a slogan of a Dutch political party, the Counterparty? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwktszQbCdE)
Int: But isn't the threshold for such a casino too high?
Tony: We will introduce a system in which the casinos, like hotels, are classified in stars, from a 2-star casino to a 5-star casino based on amenities (number of different gambling options) and location. The current illegal casino around the corner will probably become a 2-star casino, operated by local entrepreneurs.
Int: Won't these plans increase gambling addiction?
Tony: I seriously wonder if that addiction can get any bigger than it is now. But since raising the level of education of the Thais is impossible and takes too long, we will have to make them happy in another way: casinos and cannabis. Both also tourist attractions of the first order. But I see it's time for my next date, a lunch date with a lovely young lady. Shall we talk next time?
Int: That's OK. You have interesting ideas for the country. I would like to talk to you again about agriculture.
But he doesn't have to worry about his name, does he? T has not been prime minister since 2017, so if the court interprets the code in the same way as Prayuth, then his counter is still zero years of prime ministership! Ah, now the laws can often be explained in several ways, so if T is in the defendant's bench, then with the current wind, a different interpretation of the law can of course be expected. Too bad for T, he'd better try to connect to the right networks again.
Indeed Rob V.
But T, like his dear sister, is no longer allowed to hold a government position at all, because he has a criminal conviction in Thailand hanging on his pants? If it had been a conviction by a foreign ...
However, I also know that TiT, so if you make sure you are friends with the right authorities / persons, it will be done again.
Tony Woodsome for President.