Column: 'Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens'
For many retirees from any country Thailand an attractive country to spend the autumn of their lives. Recovery: For many retired, divorced men, Thailand is an attractive country to spend the autumn of their lives.
The cost of living is extremely low, it is summer all year round and in some provinces the natural beauty is breathtaking. As a bonus, there's a grab bag full of attractive women from the impoverished northeast of the country, who don't mind massaging a beer belly every now and then in exchange for a PIN. Not bad, huh?
'Hillemaal not bad', Harrie, a retired Flemish truck driver, must have thought. I met Harrie in Chainat province, central Thailand. He had a house built there for thirty thousand euros. It was a striking house. Mainly large, with peach-colored walls, a red-tiled roof, and the porch graced by two white, arched Doric columns topped with gold paint. It was the only house in a four-mile radius…
I never found out what Harrie was actually looking for and I couldn't help feeling that Harrie didn't know that either.
“There's nothing here at all, is it? Hillely nothing. In Chiang Mai, you hedge everything, right? But here, heddege absolutely nothing”.
I thought it was amazing that it had taken months, because it must have taken that long to build his Roman villa before it dawned on Harry that it was indeed not Las Vegas there. Harry peered into his alphabet soup, bewildered, as if the answer to his loneliness lay there. He was married to Aw, a cheerful Thai woman who could easily have been his daughter. Aw spoke Thai, central dialect. Harry spoke Flemish. Harry barely spoke English, a language that was the same as Flemish for Aw.
Aw showed me around the house: sparkling kitchen with a brand new touch-sensitive washing machine. Virgin microwave. There was a dryer in the corner. A lonely tea towel danced behind the dryer window. Harrie had bought a dryer for his wife in a country where laundry dries in the sun within five minutes. The bedroom has a 40″ flat screen TV with plasma screen. Aw beamed. "Mine…"
Aw's dream has come true. The main prize in the Berend Boudewijnquiz. Harry plays solitaire all day long to get through the day. “Goddamn, it didn't come true again”, you hear him swear every now and then.
Oh irony, Harry has made the decision to live in Paradise, with a beautiful young woman by his side. After he has realized this dream, Harrie suddenly wakes up. He looks around. Aw's family is sitting on the floor, on the cool flagstones. No one is sitting on the brand new calf leather sofa. An elderly man, Aw's grandfather, stares at him. Aw plays in the kitchen with the touch keys of the washing machine that silently washes a sock. Aw has it all, her family, her child from a previous marriage, her friends who speak her language. She is very happy with this grand prize. Harry wonders who these people are. “Where the hell am I?” He hears Anne Robinson's voice: 'you're the weakest link. Goodbye!”
“The cable company will arrive on Friday”, Harrie told me. “With CNN and sports channels. At least I have something to do”.
The glasses of “Hillemaal not bad” Harrie are suspiciously fogged up!
Harry had heard that there was a country full of beautiful young girls, that one
were willing to share their lives with an older man. Harry often dreamed about that country
of milk and honey. A beautiful young girl had soon found Harry
Yet what Harry never dreamed about was about the families of those beautiful young girls who
many pensioners get it for free.
An article after my heart because that's how it has been in many cases there.. . exiled in their luxury, somewhere in a deserted hole and that doesn't have to be the Isaan.
Thailand is bigger than Isan although many say it isn't.
When you meet these Harrie's, it's so cozy living there, friendly people, and the most important motivation, so cheap.
They say they live in the real Thailand and for the world they wouldn't live in Bangkok, Pattaya, Hua-Hin, etc. want to live.
They have built a dream home that they could never afford anywhere else.
They have respect for family and village, because they are the richest (by Thai standards anyway).
Everyone listens to their because, with that much money you should know everything better and you have a monopoly on the truth.
Who is still claiming that they are not successful.
Quite different from Jan with the cap they used to be.
Finally their goal has been reached.
Nevertheless, they have to get out regularly, otherwise they will go crazy with loneliness.
Well, I wouldn't want to be in those Harrie's place for anything. I live in Bangkapi and have everything within walking distance. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in some godforsaken hole where the cockcrow in the morning is the highlight of the day.
And believe me, "real" Thai also live here and this is also the real Thailand.
Indeed everyone is their own and they just do it, but sometimes I am so tired of hearing and reading that Isaan glorification.
Like living there is the zenith and other areas in Thailand don't count, but I know the reality is different than most make it out to be.
Many live in Isaan, because this place is the only way to survive financially. They then make it appear to the outside world that it is because it is so cozy there. I know better.
I regularly meet them because they have fled their cozy and friendly village to enjoy themselves or just to have a normal conversation with fellow countrymen or not.
Are they all like that? No, of course not and I also know some who have really sought peace and quiet, but the chance that you will encounter them on this site is small. It speaks for itself of course, no TV, no telephone, no PC, no toilet, although these are real exceptions. Most have normal comfort and means of communication.
But really, to each his own.
Ronnie,
Think that this Harrie had definitely not chosen to live in the Isaan. Harry
had enough money. Harrie fell into “”Love””' and decided to follow his lover.
Everyone has different ideas for their retirement period.
For those who want to live in Pattaya or Bangkok, my blessing.
For those who want to live “at the end of the world”, my blessing.
For those who want neither one nor the other, but something in between, my blessing.
For those who want to “condemn” someone else's choice if necessary, allez votre corridor.
That's French and means go ahead.
I wouldn't want to live in Bangkok or Pattaya for the world, visiting a few times a year is enough. (sometimes forced for an embassy visit)
I would like to live in solitude, if necessary without all those modern "acquisitions", unfortunately, there are people in my neighborhood who don't want that, so I will just comply with a majority decision.
So I live, to (almost) complete satisfaction, in the ISan, in Khon Kaen, and feel quite happy there.
And for those days/nights when I actually need some rest, the two of us move to somewhere in the middle of the bushbush. stay there for a few days, and I'm having a wonderful time.
So me…….
With a sigh of relief from the counterpart, after a few days the car is sent back in the direction of Khon Kaen.
And everyone is completely satisfied again.
Khon Kaen city and Chumpae bushbush, for me a wonderfully well-fitting duo.
But never in BKK and/or Patters, brrrrrrrrr.
By the way, Tjamuk, "it" happens in the center of Bangkok.
What is that "it"?
Ah, near KhonKaen, but it is still a bit of a drive, which is not always convenient (my in-laws live near Namphong, just north of KhonKaen). I haven't been there much yet, but it was nice and quiet. For relaxation go to the reservoir (eating, swimming). But where will we build our house later? I haven't decided yet, near KhonKaen or perhaps near Chiang Mai. I'm still young so I still have all the time in the world (well, actually no money to buy anything right now... 😉 ). It remains to be seen what the retirement age will be at that time, the idea of having to work until I am 70 or longer is not something to look forward to...
I don't want to think about living in a metropolis or other big city, the end of the world is the other extreme. A medium-sized village near a small to medium-sized city sounds like ideal. But to each his own.
Hahahaha -Allez votre corridor. That translation is priceless.
Within a few years, I am now 54, I will also “definitely” live with my Thai wife in the land of smiles.
I am preparing to find a suitable place to build our nest. And indeed, I don't like it in the Isaan, where my wife comes from. Beautiful natural beauty but hours away from everything.
Where people want to stay is their own choice, and you must therefore respect it anyway.
For me it will be Hua Hin and this in agreement with my wife. Close to the city, everything I want for sale, even my Duveltje will be in the refrigerator. Golf course (s) in the immediate vicinity, Belgians, Dutch, Norwegians, Swedes, etc. present in large numbers. I will feel at home there. And I know that this is not the real Thailand.
But I'll be there shortly, with all the benefits of being there.
Respect everyone's opinion.
Ah,
Everyone has to decide that for themselves. I live 20 km from Sakon Nakhon city. In a lively village, near Nong Han Lake.
In the countryside and I'm having a good time. I have a swimming pool near here. Every day I take a bike ride through the rice fields and near the lake.
My in-laws live 750 meters away, but they respect our privacy. And for some help in the garden and the house, they are always ready. My wife is fortunately close to her family. I also feel calm and relaxed here. I have internet, BVN, etc… And if I ever want to break out. By plane in an hour in Bangkok.
Let each find the way in which he feels happiest.
Regards,
Tony
I have had the same experience, but the first thing I did was to have a dish put on my roof so I could also watch studio sports. And it is not always fun in Isaan during the rainy season, what should you do? I love the Thai (makmak), but I have also seen friends who were embarrassed and sold their house and home to build a house for their “loved one” for a lot of baths, but when everything was ready they were kindly asked by the local mafia to pack your things as quickly as possible and return to Holland! What are your rights as FARANG? One acquaintance of mine is now on the market selling cheese, while he previously sold his flourishing business for his TILAK to build something in Amazing Thailand! Be careful guys. (but of course there are also good experiences)
Still clever of Harrie to have the veranda of his Roman villa supported by Doric (after all Greek) columns. I am also an E-saan resident and first have to clear my 12x5 m swimming pool of drowned vermin in the morning. Then those “swimming laps”.; , walk around my house (I also take a pack of bread with me) watch BVN,. , Thailand blog - especially - critical reading, Man, man, I can't get through the day. If I really don't feel like doing it anymore, I take my 4×4 and drive to my apartment in Bangkok (with my wife who is 26 years younger, I am 72 years old myself;) what a pervert, Cor. How long do you have to go to secondary school every day for that - by Dutch standards - measly salary?
@ I also work for a measly wage. Still, I wouldn't trade places with you if you had six 4×4s and twelve apartments. If that's supposed to include your self-respect and appreciation, then I feel sorry for you.
Moderator: Jogchum, you mainly respond to other commenters. You want to be in constant discussion with others. That's not what Thailandblog is for. Then go to a chat site. This is yet another request to you. Please respect our house rules.
Dear Moderator,
Thailand blog consists mainly of column writers, which can then be commented on? I see a lot of people who do the same as me ...... reacting to each other is not against the rules, is it?
What you do is provoke discussions by mainly responding to statements made by others. Then it's chatting. Just reply to the post. Of course it is possible that you have a question about someone else's reaction, that is allowed, but that is something else.
Dear lthjohn,
How long do I have to go to my high school? I hope as long as possible. I am crazy about my job. That exists, because you like your work. And as a bonus, I am well paid even by Dutch standards. It doesn't seem easy to me to have to dredge the drowned vermin out of your swimming pool every day. Wouldn't it be better to hire someone for that?
Nice story, but what do you talk about all day, so remote in the Isaan? In NL I can still discuss something, but what can I talk about with my Thai in-laws? Thailand is a nice country, but my home in NL is just as important to me. Actually, alternating is the solution, but in EVERY area.LOL
Would Harry be happier in a Western retirement home among withered cakes and whiners playing late-night Bingo?
In my opinion, it is even better to languish in a Thai bamboo hut with friendly people around you who take good care of you than in one of those care factories with lonely payama days and such...
Too many people assume that they will grow old healthy. Which Thai in the Isaan will change diapers from a Demented Dutchman? I don't see that happening.
Everyone is different (fortunately), and has their own taste and preferences.
Preferences that can even change over the years as one gets older, or as circumstances change.
It is incomprehensible to me that so many apparently intelligent people (I will not name names) do not see this, and find it necessary to ridicule and kick people whose preferences are not consistent with theirs.
I am a city person myself, but I prefer to live in a quiet environment.
People who like to live in the terrible bustle of a big city should know that for themselves, they have My blessing.
And people who prefer the silence of a rural village, where there is nothing to do in the surrounding area, choose that themselves and apparently have no problem with it.
I myself have lived just outside Pattaya for years in a quiet rural area.
The quiet area is ideal, and for entertainment and going out, I have Pattaya 10 minutes away by car, which I often used with pleasure.
(Note: used).
Because as I get older I notice that I have less and less need for that entertainment and bustle.
No, in fact, I'm starting to dislike it more and more, the crime, the noise, the traffic chaos, the smelly exhaust fumes.
We now only go to Pattaya if necessary for shopping, immigration, eating out once in a while and such matters.
For some time now I have been trying to sell my house and settle in the village where my wife was born.
And for the critics among you: I really know what I'm getting into.
I have been coming here for years, at least 3 times a year for family visits.
Yes, it is quiet (wonderfully), and there is not much to do, but for the things I need, the nearby provincial capital is well equipped.
I let everyone in his value.
For example, I am not going to claim that if someone says that he thinks it is ideal to live in a city like BKK, that he says so because he is forced to live there by his job, but I assume without hesitation that he does so, no matter how incomprehensible too, actually pleasant.
Tastes do differ.
Leo Bosch.
The last sentence of my comment on Cor's column was actually not that chic and even (as it turns out) not correct. But is it chic, after being invited by a Flemish person with his funny accent - in other words, another stupid Belgian - to call the man by name and to make fun of him like that? By the way, dredging that swimming pool, every day, is indeed no easy feat (or is it a sinecure after all)? A good dictionary will give the answer. .
@lthjohn,
I don't think Harry is being put to shit in the story. I wrote the story as I found that man there. And I was not happy about that. Harrie is just one example of many western retirees who ultimately get the short end of the stick. What's wrong with describing that? There are of course also many pensioners who lead a happy life here and don't have to think about living in sheltered housing in the Netherlands or Belgium. A lot has been written about that too. This is the other side of the coin.
Dear Dave,
I do notice that you know very little about Thailand, and therefore, like so many, you have some prejudices.
But just to reassure you, you don't have to worry about me
My wife is, as is usual in Thailand, years younger than me and will probably outlive me.
Because of the care and dedication now that she already spends on me, I am convinced that when I am in diapers as a demented elderly person, she will take care of me with love.
Certainly much better than you can expect in a nursing home in NL.
Moreover, I am well insured.
Gr. Leo Bosch.
Leo, I am not at all worried about you. What surprises me is that you already know so much about me. I have been coming to Thailand for 16 years (avg. 4 months pj). So I should be very naive, all to have confidence. People, go to sleep peacefully, there is nothing wrong.
Think Harry also felt lonely because of not being able to communicate with his
woman. Neither of them spoke English. Harry didn't speak Thai either.
Harrie will have to learn Thai and English in the first place, because also the TV channel CNN
that he plans to purchase, Harrie doesn't understand anything about it.
Tjamuk,
Well, if the dialect his wife speaks is unworldly from normal Thai, then it seems
I wish the best that they both learn English. You can quickly master English a bit
knee. Perfect English is not necessary, my wife and I only speak coal English
to each other, but enough to understand each other.
Dave, it was clear from 8kt's response that you didn't have a high opinion of the Thai woman in general.
(Who is going to take care of a demented elderly Farang?)
From this I thought to conclude that you still knew little about Thailand and the Thai woman, so you quickly came up with prejudices.
Sorry for that misconception.
But now that you can know a little more about Thailand and Thai women (You have been coming here for 16 years), your statement is even more to be hated.
But if you have such a low opinion of Thailand and Thai women, how happy will you feel here?
But I still wish you the best of luck in the few months you are here.
Leo Bosch.
.
I seem to have touched a sensitive chord, that is not the intention. But to assume right away that everything will go as well as Leo Bosch thinks, I remain doubtful. As long as there is money, no misery, no hassle, it will going pretty well. But for some, this will definitely not be necessary. Fortunately, I still have the choice! You have to make do with that.
Someone shouted:
“Who is going to take care of a demented elderly Farang?”
Well let me tell you a story I recently experienced very closely;
An acquaintance of mine (67) had settled here in TH after a miserable period in NL.
He met a (obviously very hungry) Thai woman with whom he lived in a rented house. He had to make do with a poor state pension, but that should not spoil the fun, he finally found happiness again.
After a few months, however, he turned out to be seriously and terminally ill. He died after an agony of more than 1 year. All this time his wife has lovingly and selflessly taken care of him.
She did this purely out of loyalty, she knew she had no prospect of an inheritance or pension. Even worse; she was left with a cremation debt because the so neat family in NL froze the balance reserved for this purpose in the NL bank account and was shamefully unwilling to contribute to the costs. (talking about mentality)
She had to pay off the debt bit by bit.
I can also report that there is a training course for “senior care” here in TH.
A niece of ours followed this and got a job as a private caregiver for an old TH lady. She worked from 7 in the morning until 10:30 at night for a monthly wage of Thb 5000. This seemed a bit like exploitation, so she started looking for another job.
I just want to say Elderly care does exist here and is more humane than in NL.
So be careful with prejudices.
If that man knew he was terminally ill, why couldn't he give her money in advance to arrange his funeral?
Or did he not trust her with his money?
Sorry, but something is wrong with your story.
well fuck, I hope you live up to your name.LOL.My experience in the Netherlands is very good.Of course there are many failed frustrated discarded Dutch people who are completely turned off by their country of origin, too bad for those people.Go first think carefully, how you ended up in thailand. Good luck.
dear harry, you are exactly the same person as me, but I don't have to wait for the cable me, because I already have CNN and a computer, which keeps me busy all day and part of the evening, buy also such a thing, a world opens up for you, you can chat with your friends, via skype, it doesn't cost you a single ball, watch movies and much, much more, you don't have to sit all day solitaire.
I live in klonghad close to Arranyaphatet, Wannamyen, Sarakeao, I also have my own house, I like it here, but I have been married to the same Thai woman for almost 400 years, I don't need such a young thing, nice to see , I'm not averse to it, but I'm getting to know those young things by now (Farang has money) bye girls, look for another farang who falls for it
you're doing well, sjakie vandehoek
I miss the essence in all these wonderful anecdotal outpourings. I would like to know from all those farangs who have built their house (how romantic, isn't it) whether they have that house in their own name (which is not possible, legally) otherwise it is NOT his house but the house of a Thai and yes then anything can happen that the farang has not yet thought of. you only have to read a few posts on this forum about that anyway. so it doesn't matter where you live. to each his own, but you are also protected against the possible whims of the Thai. oja lumen is french for mood.lol