The Mia Noi phenomenon in Thailand

This phenomenon of Mia Noi (conjunction, second wife, mistress) has spread to all levels of Thai society. Stories of important men in society who have several wives can be found in various media.

However, this phenomenon caused a lot of (justified) criticism in the Western world. On this basis, Prince Svasti Sobhon sent a memorandum in 1913 to include monogamy in a law, in order to meet the criticism from abroad. Although Rama VI had a different opinion, no new law was passed. Moreover, Rama VI mainly surrounded himself with young men and it was more of a royal statement!

Thailand didn't change its laws until 1932 and having more than one wife became illegal as a result. Formally this will be “illegal”, but in practice it is more unruly. However, it is no longer a privilege only for the wealthy or upper class. As long as the man takes care of his wife (mia luang) and the children, she will agree, sometimes reluctantly. Better than being left alone with kids. Mia noi can then take care of the man. However, if the mia noi receives more money than she, the fire will explode! In the many Thai soap operas and society, however, things are not as simple as described here. A well-known expression is therefore: “This is usually done 'on the sneak', although the Thai grapevine usually knows about these affairs long before the press.”

In the past, having more than one wife was different for several reasons. This is a story a boy told.

When I was young, I got to know the thoughts of the Chinese community about having more than one wife. This revelation came not from a man, but from our Chinese landlady.

Living in Bangkok, I discovered that our landlady was our landlord's mia noi because she told me. At that time she was forty-five and her husband was fifty. They had been together for 21 years. It didn't seem like an adventure from our landlord, at the expense of his first wife.

Laughing, Madame Chao told me that her husband, who was a good Chinese son, was forced by tradition to go along with his parents' choice of wife. His first wife's father and his father were old friends. They had agreed that if one had a son and the other had a daughter, they would intermarry with the aim of merging their families and respectable businesses.

In such cases, the young man and women are not consulted on this matter and Confucian ethics do not give the children the right to refuse. My landlady told this story with a sense of humour.

“So, my husband knew from the age of 8 that he would marry the pearl merchant's daughter, who lived in the same street. His father was a diamond merchant. So you can see it was a good fit for both families.” "But did they love each other?" I asked

Chinese society is different. That is not the most important thing between husband and wife. My husband's first duty was to his father and mother. They gave him food and education. It was his duty to go along with their wishes for the good of the family.”

"But what about his own happiness?"

“Why wouldn't he have been happy? He had everything he needed and much more than many other people. Sometimes I wonder about cultures that think "romantic" love is the only true happiness. If my husband had not had good food and a good education, would romantic love have made him happy?”

“My family had just enough money to raise us. We were tailors. Nowhere as rich or as important as my husband's family.

“I was sent to the Chinese school for eight years and was very lucky that there was so much education. My father was quite enlightened. He believed that educated daughters were much more valuable than just beautiful women. But I am satisfied with my situation as it is now just like the other people I live with.

Source: Pattaya Mail