My experiences in Thai massage parlors
My nose, my ears, my taste buds and especially my eyes all get spoiled from time to time in Thailand. Yes, my nose and ears too, because I live in a wooded area of Thailand, so a lot of nature sounds, but virtually no noise pollution and the low air pollution here can usually be traced back to too much ozone; not the ozone created by the action of sunlight on smog, but ozone as a result of lightning discharges.
But my greatest sense, the skin? It actually comes off a bit rough. But occasionally I let my skin be pampered by a masseuse and of course I opt for an oil massage. But it must be a masseuse with a friendly face and one who massages my skin with love, at least I must have that feeling. She doesn't have to be really beautiful because during the massage my eyes are still closed, but beauty is of course no downside. A masseur doesn't have to count on my clientele unless I'm looking for a treatment for muscle problems, then I'm less picky.
Before I start with my own experiences, first an experience that a good friend told me. Together with his wife he went to a massage parlor where he experienced a "happy ending" through some subtle or perhaps less subtle touches by the masseuse. He was actually not so happy there, especially since his wife also noticed what was going on. He got even angrier when the masseuse wanted extra money for the additional services. He didn't want to know about that. A tip will also not have been resident.
My experiences go back 44 years. It was my first trip to Thailand that I made with a friend. After Bangkok and Pattaya we arrived in Chiang Mai and before starting the journey home we of course wanted to have a Thai massage. Now I don't remember that much anymore, but there was no question of a happy ending because I would have remembered that. But of course I liked it and I resolved not to stop at that one time. Still, I “had” to wait until I had settled in Thailand because my Thai wife I had married in the meantime did not like that and she was not the type who went shopping for hours so that I could get a massage during her shopping trips.
The first two massages I underwent after my final settlement in Thailand were also not oil massages. The first time - in the time when I didn't do sports yet - I had lower back problems and I was dreading a flight to the Netherlands. My wife then had a masseuse come to the house and the next morning she was at the door before six o'clock. Not a happy ending of course. A few years later I had some physical problems again; not because of too little sport but because of too much: some overworked muscles. And to have it treated, I went to the village hospital where a qualified masseuse helped me get rid of my complaints in a few sessions for an hourly rate of 100 baht. And because those sessions lasted less than an hour, I even had to pay less than 100 baht. Of course no happy ending here either because that doesn't belong in a hospital. By the way, the windows and doors of the treatment room were open, probably on purpose.
Thai Massage (Teerayuth Mitrsermsarp / Shutterstock.com)
But then a period came in which a good friend from the Netherlands came to visit me every year and together we went on the road for more than a week in Thailand and surrounding countries and we took the opportunity to visit a massage parlor every now and then. I always opted for an oil massage. The first time was in Chiang Mai; we had arrived late afternoon and at the hotel we were already told without being asked that there was the possibility of a massage in the room. No, not because after dinner we would look for a massage parlor ourselves. No sooner said than done and indeed we found several massage parlors in the old center of the city. But none of those massage parlors appealed to me and when we returned to the hotel the previous offer was repeated and I accepted.
After half an hour a masseuse indeed came and gave me an oil massage. She also made it clear that it didn't have to stay with that massage, but it didn't take much willpower to decline that offer because it was definitely not my type. After the treatment I had to pay and tipped her something like 100 baht. However, she wanted more because she had counted on it not being just a massage and maybe that expectation was justified for a massage in a hotel room. So to limit the loss of income I gave her an extra 100 baht on top of the previous 100 baht. She wasn't really happy with that, but I didn't want to go any further.
Another time was in Hanoi. Now I am not really impressed by the attractiveness of the women in the north of Vietnam and therefore also not by the women in Hanoi, but that did not prevent me from choosing a massage parlor. After going up two flights of stairs we ended up in a dimly lit room with six tables and got the desired massage. Fine, but no extras. Then we went to Hoi An, in the south of Vietnam, for a few days. The hotel manager there knew a suitable massage parlor and when we went to look there was a middle-aged woman and a young woman in her early twenties. When the youngest caught sight of me she jumped up, hopped over to me, took my arm and smeared some massage oil on it and let me smell it. I liked that smell but even more her enthusiasm and her nice face. So I decided not to look any further. I could go upstairs right away, but we had other plans for that afternoon and I said I would come by again that evening at eight o'clock. At eight o'clock, however, she was busy with a client, but I went upstairs with another masseuse, again to a dark room with about six massage beds.
I had a great massage there (without extras) and I decided to see if my enthusiastic masseuse was there this time. Not again, so I took another masseuse. Although “take” suggests I had a choice, only one was available at the time. The third and last evening in Hoi An I made one last attempt and now it was hit. When the agreed hour was over, all the other customers had already left, but I still hadn't had enough and asked if an extra hour was possible. Luckily that wasn't a problem. Halfway through that second hour I suddenly felt that more than two hands were working on me. When I opened my eyes to see what was going on I saw the smiling face of that middle aged woman I had seen before and apparently ran the place there. Nice to be spoiled by two women. After the two hours were over I could relax and return to the hotel with a good feeling.
To be clear: even now nothing had happened and no attempts had been made by the masseuse (and by me) to give it a festive end. One of the reasons for me not to insist on anything extra is the big age difference. I can well imagine that a young woman may be somewhat reluctant to do anything with an elderly person. Because even though I sometimes think I still look reasonably attractive, a look in the mirror with my glasses on makes a lot clear. And I can forget that I still look young: the first thing the opponents on the football fields ask me when it comes to a conversation is not where I come from, but how old I am and I see them thinking, “ what is that old guy still doing on a football field”. That at least gives clarity about how others estimate my age.
On one of my visits to that massage parlor in Hoi An, two ladies came down the stairs while I was waiting for my massage. Those two ladies were already in their sixties, so fat they could hardly walk and ugly as night. Now everyone doesn't get any prettier with age and usually a bit fatter, but the deciding factor with those two ladies was that they looked unkempt and I even thought I saw ulcers on their legs. Downright unappetizing and I felt sorry for those masseuses. And I wondered in horror if I might end up on the same massage bed. Fortunately, I'm not as bad as with those two ladies - I hope - but also in my case I think that the masseuses prefer to take care of a clean young man. In my case, they may have to bite the bullet.
1000 Words / Shutterstock.com
Another example. It was in Luang Prabang, Laos. It was a great place with only a few masseuses. One of the masseuses was appointed (not by me) and she started washing my feet. After that I could go to another room like that, but this time there was privacy because there were curtains around the massage bed. The light was dimmed and there was an atmospheric background music and my sense of smell was also spoiled. In short, perfect, and the masseuse – another “girl” in her early twenties – was also perfect. Perfect and very discreet and even a little demure. When she asked me to turn around halfway through, she lifted the towel and held it up so she couldn't see over it. What I still remember very well is that she also gently squeezed my hand during the massage. It must have been part of the standard treatment, but to me it felt like something very special. It gave a bit of a sense of belonging. In any case, it makes it clear that the skin is an underestimated sense for your well-being. Incidentally, during the massage someone occasionally came to see if everything was going well; it was clear that the massage would be limited to what was agreed upon.
Afterwards I got a cup of tea after which I could pay. The next day and the day after that I went back and luckily I was treated by the same masseuse. Another two perfect massages. After that last time I gave her my last kips (the Lao currency) and that must have been clearly more than the minimum daily wage in Laos.
Of course I have visited some more massage parlors but I want to leave it at that. Only one time has been aimed at a happy ending and that was in Vietnam, on the border with Laos. That time, too, I had no qualms about politely declining the offer. In general I am very satisfied with the treatments and if I was sometimes a bit disappointed it was due to high expectations.
Someone once wrote on Thailandblog that an oil massage in Thailand is asking for sex. That is not the case, although of course it strongly depends on your choice of massage parlor. With a body massage or a soapy you can expect something and also when the ladies are waiting for a customer with a number behind glass and you can therefore make a choice yourself, you can probably also expect something. But there are apparently not that many such massage parlors because I have never seen them. And if there are expectations among some gentlemen that the masseuses are sexy or scantily dressed, that is also not in accordance with my limited (about twenty in total) experiences. But if you, as a male farang in Bangkok or Pattaya, ask a taxi driver to take you to a massage parlor, I naturally estimate the chances are high that you can expect something more than just a massage.
As for sex in Thailand, I went to Roi Et for a weekend three times with a Laotian and his Thai wife and a Thai co-worker. The Laotian took care of the overnight stays: that was in a resort in the city itself. Each bungalow had a parking space there that could be screened off with a curtain. There was one condom on the bedside table. Furthermore, the bungalow had little more than a double bed and washing facilities. It was clear that you could also rent that bungalow for a very short period. Actually, I expected that there would be a knock at the door in the evening, but none of that. It was extremely quiet the three nights I stayed there. Now there are many such resorts throughout Thailand – which can also be used for overnight stays – but not only men will go there with their mia noi. I think most of them are used by loved ones who have little or no privacy at home. Because most houses in Thailand do not offer much privacy.
For those who are curious what I did with the Laotian in Roi Et, just visit any police station in that province and look at the pictures hanging on the wall. In one of those pictures you will see a farang and that will be me.
You don't just have to do an oil massage because you enjoy it, but also because "physical touch has many health benefits according to science”. See: wibnet.nl/mens/4-redenen-daarom-moeten-we-meer-cuddle
Nice story Hans.
My experiences with Thai massage are more frequent.
Before COVID-19 manifested itself, I went to Soi Sukhumvit 10 every week (previously to a salon between Soi 8 and Soi 10, but it was sold and turned into a 7/11).
The salon on Soi 10 is a "normal salon", with a basic hourly rate of 250 baht and a permanent staff of older ladies and sometimes a niece of one of them who has to learn the trade. The name is Whean massage. He's a little behind.
No hassle with happy ending for me. I've had it once, but it didn't work for me.
I find it embarrassing, with someone who clearly does it for the money, which I understand, but who gives me five seconds of pleasure and then usually pays 500 baht for it.
So now, at least I did until three months ago, I take two hours of regular Thai massage and give the masseuse on duty 500 for the boss and 500 for herself.
They know I don't want a nice ending so work very concentrated during those two hours.
Then I eat a snack in the restaurant that is attached. Where Tieng holds sway.
The women who do the massages are called Nang, Poei, Luai and Hung. I know from the first two that they will come back when the salons are allowed to open again. The others have to wait and see if they come again.
It is what Hans Pronk also writes: being touched in a more or less loving way is a necessity, also for your mental well-being.
Van Dale's dictionary:
'to be touched in a more or less loving way',
no result.
This one Jan.
Cuddle hormone oxytocin.
The wonderful 'cuddle hormone' oxytocin makes us feel safe, relaxed and connected to others. This is already important for the development of babies and it will continue to play a role throughout our lives. Physical contact, from massage and sex to kissing, caressing and holding hands, activates serotonin. So hug and kiss as much as you can. No one around to get each other's oxytocin flowing? Then meditation also turns out to be a great way to produce more oxytocin and therefore to feel more comfortable and happier.
https://www.samengezond.nl/big-kiss-dit-doen-gelukshormonen-met-je/
I think this is a strong story, had so many massage parlors and stayed there, but without anything happening, only with a friend of his. I've also been there several times, but at 80% it wasn't just massage and I honestly told my wife. But here I think we are dealing with the man of steel.
Dear Henk, “man of steel” sounds very positive. Thank you. But what of course also plays a role is my advanced age.
Of course, my choice of massage parlor is also important. It must look attractive and the atmosphere must also appeal to me. But in every big city you will have massage parlors with extras, but it will hardly ever be as “bad” as in Pattaya. I'm actually curious in which city you usually get a massage.
Dear Hans,
I am curious where you live in Thailand. What you describe in your introduction really appeals to me: “A wooded area of Thailand, so there are many sounds of nature, but virtually no noise nuisance and the low air pollution here can usually be traced back to too much ozone; not the ozone created by the action of sunlight on smog, but ozone as a result of lightning discharges”.
Regards,
Rob
Dear Rob, We live in Ubon Ratchathani province, about 15 km outside Ubon city. There are no vast forests here, but that is not necessary to live undisturbed. Those bushes will usually be found on relatively infertile soil, and/or on slightly higher ground, and therefore unsuitable for rice cultivation. That also makes the land cheap. On the other hand, there is usually no electricity and no water supply in those places. You have to take care of water yourself and PEA will come by for electricity for a fee.
Sometimes you also have the obligation to cultivate the soil, but that of course immediately offers the opportunity to make something beautiful out of it, although fertilization is usually necessary with that poor soil.
Another advantage is that we have virtually no industry in the area and no sugar cane either, because sugar cane is often set on fire. Here and now a controlled roadside fire, but that never causes a nuisance. However, a neighbor who occasionally makes charcoal at 200-300 meters from our house and you can smell it when the wind is in the wrong direction. But oh well, we use charcoal ourselves so complaining is of course not appropriate.
If you want to buy or rent something here, I would recommend choosing something not too far from the city so that shopping and/or going to a restaurant does not take too much time. You can of course also visit the local markets. Those markets are a bit more expensive for some items and a bit cheaper for other items. Living in a village is of course also possible, but there the houses are usually very close together and people often live outside. Life in those villages starts before sunrise, but in the evening it usually gets quiet very early. I myself am woken up early every morning by the sun, but fortunately not by sounds from the neighbors. The house closest to us is about 200 meters away. But beware, life here can also get too quiet. I have no problem with that myself.
Also live on a village in Uttaradit. A 35 k, until murders from the city and a 12 km from the main road. Having their own business, Living in an agricultural and vegetable growing area. Having everything. Oh yes sometimes with the woman together in Uttaradit to the masage. Oh no happy ending. is sometimes massaged by a third sex. It's about the massage and not about the happy ending
Did the same thing once in Bangkok.
I was with my future wife at the time.
She said let's take an oil massage together, no sooner said than done.
She lay in the room next to me, and the massage began.
Pretty normal at first, but it didn't sit well with me that I had to take off my underwear.
After just being busy for a long time, she started massaging in another place, I told her I didn't want a happy ending, but she said that was good for the brain.
When I said that my girlfriend at the time would take care of my brain, that was the end of it.
Felt I couldn't make this with my girlfriend next to me, and who is about to leave homeland family and everything for me.
Never regretted putting a relationship on the line for that few second itch.
My massage is always without a happy ending because always have this done in a State Hospital (woman is a state official so this is free) but always enjoy it to the fullest
A Happy Ending is not a punishment either!!
In Thailand, sex is within reach for the common man.
That is why Thai women have such a bad name in hypocritical Western Catholic and Calvinist countries. Although we also copulate vigorously. The beam in your own eye…
Contacts in Thailand are open and informal, with a lot of spontaneity and sensitivity. Very often they go through massage parlors. The women are just people... and especially sensitive people.
In the free West you pay so much that you usually don't start, the economic principle of an exclusive product...
With those girls in Thailand you do much more than sex, you take them to a Tawan Daeng, a discotheque, a rooftop bar, you talk about family, their babies and what the future holds, they are guides in Bangkok or the province...
Then of course you have to be single. Or cheat really hard.
I find it shocking that I always hear that the massage girls are often visited by falang who send their (or not) Thai women on a shopping spree with their bank card and let them smoke some weed in the meantime. For me, the height of contradiction. But it's reality...
At home the Falang continue to be hungry, but they do not question their marriage and empty their food for a while. Problem solved for a while.
Things are of course very different on the Walletjes. Tough negotiations, economics of supply and demand. Clean and businesslike, emotions inactive. The tissues within reach. This is solely about discharging the waste. Privacy in particular is also paramount. Your customer may be a serial killer... the free west, eh? All shutters closed. And what we don't know doesn't exist.
No, sex is within reach for the common falang. Mainly because of the price.
Let's talk economics for a moment.
In the free, thinking West you can get a massage for 600 eu, 60 eu per ten minutes. In Thailand a massage costs 300 baht. Your masseuse gets 100 bht, the mamasan collects 200 bht. Logically, she also has to rent her salon, pay for infrastructure, facilities, accommodation, and utilities.
The masseuse therefore receives 100 baht, and after ten sessions 1000 baht. Minimum wage in Thailand is currently 350 baht per day, almost three times the daily wage of an unskilled worker.
However, if she can get a happy ending, she can ask for at least 1200 baht. Minus 200 baht accommodation equals 1000 baht per time.
Don't blame a Thai masseuse for not aiming for a happy ending. And she knows, the flesh of a phalang is weak.
So for one blow job three times the daily wage. Economically this is more profitable.
Is that a lot? No, of course it is next to nothing for the falang!
(As an aside, happy ending to massage is never copulation, only blow or hand job.)
In the meantime, what about degenerated Amsterdam or Brussels? A massage costs at least 600 eu. With two sessions, two hours of work, a Western masseuse earns the minimum wage per month, which is 1200 eu.
A masseuse in Thailand collects 100 baht without a happy ending. Minimum wage is 350 baht/day x 27 working days = approximately 10000 baht/month. For this she has to work hard compared to her Thai colleague, namely 27 times one massage = 27 hours. In Belgium, twice one hour.
Conclusion: no matter how you look at it, no matter what your conscience, massage and sex with a Thai woman is exploitation.
You can't miss that!
Economic labor-related exploitation! With or without sexual performance, but certainly exploitation without sexual performance…
I don't think your conscience is awake about it.
Neocolonialism still lurks.
And as a bonus, what about underage girls... The free Western and enlightened person knows better. In Thailand those girls are underage and forced to have sex... How short-sighted and again neo-colonial.
Hello, never heard of or read in the newspapers the scandals of Nigerian underage girls who are forced to work by human traffickers in the Leopold district of Brussels? The Leopold District??? Yes, that neighborhood is overpopulated by EU employees who cash in at least 7000 eu/month?
Hi Alphonse,
You state that a massage in / around Amsterdam would cost at least €600. That is not the case. It costs €50-€70 depending on the salon. It is kind to give an extra €50 in advance in the room of your own accord, which the lady can then keep for herself and then you will receive a pleasant massage of one hour with - if desired - a satisfying ending.
You shouldn't go to “de Walletjes”, which has become a tourist attraction full of pickpockets, drunk English people and groups of partygoers dressed in crazy outfits who come to watch monkeys.
I think Alphonse should indeed take another look at the cigar box or felt. In the Netherlands you have indeed been spending around 50-60, perhaps 70, euros per hour for years. But I don't think the calculation for Thailand is realistic either: the ladies really cannot perform 7 to 10 massages a day! It's hard work, if that were the standard you wouldn't physically be able to do it. You can't maintain that as a daily practice.
In the city of Nongkhai, real massage is rare, happy ending extra 500 to 1000 baht
2000 baht per night in hotel.
The ladies look good from more than 10 massage parlors and drive Toyota Camry,
Honda accord, Toyota Vigo, Nissan Navara etc not older than 4 years.
average income of most ladies is between 30.000 baht to 100.000+ baht.
Massage ladies in bangkok, soapy massage can earn up to more than 10.000baht per day.
Or 120.000 to 200.000 + per month for very good looking ladies.
I have known several friends in Thailand for 30 years who work in this industry and in this way earn houses for themselves and their family.
Many ladies go to Korea, Japan, Singapore and Dubai for massage because they pay a lot more.
Massage parlors in Pattaya go for the masses, for example 20 chairs for foot massage, etc. very low price 100 baht 300 baht per hour, but hopefully a good income due to high turnover, which is currently not very successful due to fewer tourists from Europe due to very high prices for airline tickets and higher prices for hotels and food and drinks, the average tourist moves to Vietnam and Cambodia where everything is 50% cheaper, as is the cost of living.
Vietnam has beautiful clean beaches and the population often speaks English.
Like a torpedo through salt water, heading towards your goal as usual, great, although you do put neo-colonialism high on the shelf.
Their share is considerably lower than many people think.
An hour or two with a BJ at the end costs a little more than a day's wages for the 'ordinary' Thai.
Your accounting calculation is about 30/40% of the massage costs, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less, a hundred baht per hour for the lady is a minimum, correct.
I'll leave the rest aside. I once heard from a nice lady in the Covid era that she went back to Bangkok at the first good signal 'covid free' for 30000 Baht a month and more with an eight-hour 'working day', in other words, a piece of cake.
Enough time for the free disco and sleeping in.
Must have been a bit more action than a BJ.
My wife [Dutch] always goes to the massage salon Mona in Patong, a small salon with 5 massage tables, where my wife gets a foot massage with neck, and I get a Hot oil massage {my wife doesn't dare do this because of her osteoarthritis].
The hot coconut oil that she makes herself is heated on a candle and she puts the oil in her hand so that you don't burn. This is a fantastic massage that feels very nice on your skin due to the hot oil that opens the skin pores. Not a happy ending but a pleasure for your largest organ. Namely your skin.