If a woman asks something: NEVER explain! (From: Stimulating stories from Northern Thailand; nr 25)
Two friends walked around the region to sell their trade. Through forests and fields and in the border area near the Mon mountains. (*) They were not the most honest businessmen, to put it nicely… First they scammed their own community, later they roamed the region with their fine practices. But they did get rich and had a lot of money.
Digging up a sweet potato is not without risk (From: Stimulating stories from Northern Thailand; no. 24)
This story is about harvesting sweet potatoes. (*) You have to do quite a lot of digging and rooting to get them out of the ground! Sometimes you dig and dig and you don't see a single piece of potato. People sometimes dig very deep, throw water in, put a rope around the potato and only the next morning can they pull it out. No, you can't just dig up a sweet potato!
Do you remember Uncle Saw? Well, they didn't have them all lined up, remember? You could actually call him a wimp. He was from Lampang. He liked to fish, but he didn't like it. Complained about that too: 'Everyone catches fat carp and I don't catch anything at all?' "What bait do you use?" "Frogs." 'Frogs?? What do you think you can catch with frogs as bait? You must have young catfish, young catfish…
Bahosod, the wise monk. Pickled fish or gold? (From: Stimulating stories from Northern Thailand; nr 22)
Two friends wanted to get wise; they visited the wise monk Bahosod and offered him money to become smart. They paid him two thousand gold pieces a man and said, "You have money now, give us that wisdom." 'Good! Whatever you do, do it right. If you do half work, you will achieve nothing.' That was the lesson they had bought for all that money. One fine day they decided to go catch fish…
Once upon a time there was a poor Khamu man and he was hungry. Very very hungry. He was penniless. That day he stopped at the house of a wealthy woman. Greeted her endearingly and asked 'Would you please have something to eat for me?'
Three friends traveled together and traded. But things were not going well anymore, they lost all their money and had no money to travel home. They asked to live in the temple and stayed for three years. Got to eat and if there was something to do, they did that of course. But after three years they wanted to return home, but had no travel money. Yes, what now?
One of the monks bought a horse, a mare. And one day he sewed that animal. The novice we already talked about saw that… And that was a cunning kid! When night fell, he said to the monk, 'Venerable One, I will bring some grass for the horse.' 'Excuse me? No, not you. You must be making a mess. I'd better do it myself.' He cut grass, fed the horse, stood behind it and sewed it again.
The novice from the previous story had a beautiful sister. Two monks from the temple had a crush on her and the novice knew it. He was a mischievous novice and wanted to play a prank on those monks. Every time he went home he took some to the temple and said that his sister had given it to him. 'My sister gave these cigarettes for you,' he said to one. And to the other 'These rice cakes are from my sister, for you.'
What happend? A monk fell in love with I Uj. And whenever she brought food to the temple, he told the temple helpers and the novices to set her food aside. He only ate the food she offered.
Why Tha was called 'Poepbroek' (From: Stimulating stories from Northern Thailand; nr 15)
This is about two brothers. Their father gave them something on his deathbed. He gave each son 1.000 baht and said, "From my death, every meal you eat must be a good meal." Then he took his last breath.
This is about two neighbors. One was not religious, the other was and was also an honest person. They were friends. The religious man placed an altar against the wall of his porch with a statue of Buddha in it. Every morning he offered rice and showed respect to Buddha, and in the evening after dinner he did it again.
The meditating hermit and women's breasts (From: Stimulating stories from Northern Thailand; nr 12)
This story is about a hermit who had reached the jhana (*). This hermit had been meditating in a forest for twenty thousand years and he had reached jhana. That means that when he was hungry and thinking about food, he felt satisfied. If he wanted to go somewhere, he only had to think about it and … hoppa! … he was already there. Sat there meditating for twenty thousand years. The grass was already higher than his ears but he just stayed put.
This story is from the Karen lore. It's about a Thai man and a Karen man who were great buddies. This story is also about sex. Thai people, you know, they always have a plan ready. Resourceful people!
A vagina full of china snails (From: Tantalizing stories from Northern Thailand; no. 10)
In this story again someone who wants to have sex with his young sister-in-law, just like in story number 2. But this time mister uses a different method. We will call him brother-in-law because no name is known.
Another story about Grandpa Tan, now together with Grandpa Daeng, his neighbor. Grandpa Daeng bred ducks and had four to five hundred of them. He kept the ducks on his field, which was next to Grandpa Tan's field.