If I were a woman, I would think twice before going to Thailand with my husband/partner for a winter stay or holiday. Of course, that also applies when hubby wants to go to Thailand for a business trip.
In the Netherlands we have a nice proverb that covers the load well: 'Tie the cat to the bacon'. And that means 'to tempt someone so strongly that he cannot resist it'. The result is usually that he does something bad or undesirable.
You don't necessarily have to be a potential cheater to go for the ax for all the beautiful females you encounter on the streets of Thailand. We all know the clichés: 'Once in Thailand, every guy feels like a kid in a candy store.'
A prejudice? I do not think so. I already know of a number of cases in my area where couples almost or completely lost their marriage after a stay in Thailand. For the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak, Matthew warned.
According to my friend, and she should know because she is Thai, a wedding ring on a Western man's finger does not prevent a Thai lady from shooting amorous arrows at her victim.
Especially women with a husband over 40 years old should be concerned. In the Netherlands, no dog even pisses against him anymore, but in Thailand he can feel like Brad Pitt for a while. A male tourist who does not (yet) know how the hares run in Thailand will not know what to do with all that attention from (young) beautiful ladies, from a category that is normally inaccessible to him.
Hence this week's statement: 'Ladies beware because Thailand can pose a serious threat to marital fidelity.'
You may think this statement is complete nonsense. Of course you can. Then tell us why you do not agree or let us know why you do agree with the statement. You may also know examples from your environment where things went wrong.
If that were the case, it has nothing to do with Thailand but rather with the marriage that is already on its hind legs in such a case.
Indeed, if you have a good relationship you won't cheat and you won't be tempted by a one-night stand more quickly than elsewhere in the world. If your partner does get into the suitcase with someone else or runs off with someone else, it could just as easily have happened elsewhere. Of course, paid sex is easily accessible in countries such as Thailand, the Netherlands, etc., where in the US, for example, people are actively tackling prostitution (just think of the use of fake prostitutes by the police, observations of "whore neighborhoods" etc.) .
Well, the stereotype of "wrong" old men who score a young man in SE Asia naturally stands out (as does that of women who score a young man in Africa - Gambia, etc.). Well, with those age differences you stand out and people are more likely to talk about you.
No Cor that's not the case, I've been in the business with Bars, Go-Go Bars for 29 years and of course I see a lot of tourists. Every year I experience it a few times that they are on their honeymoon, the bride gets tired and goes already to the Hotel, the groom remains seated for a while (with a lot of drink) and says I'll be right over. But then the barmaids come and hang around him and have a drink from him, before he knows it, a barmaid is there on his lap, another is kissing him and another is giving him a massage. Then suddenly his wife is behind him and then panic sets in. A day later the man sleeps in another Hotel, and his wife is to himself booking the return trip, to then apply for divorce in the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, etc. I can write books about it.
We have been wintering in Thailand every year for years. And have never had an experience like this. Indeed, if things are not going well in a marriage, chances are that this will happen. They sometimes say that I have a handsome husband but I also sometimes get a comment that I am a beutiful woman, also from the Thai women. In short, we have never experienced anything like this. Look, letting your husband do the shopping alone is something else, but you must also be able to trust each other. because they are simply beautiful. We are both well into our sixties and will enjoy the weather, the people and the country in a few months.
Totally agree. I wouldn't want to give a hundred euros to the couples who see their relationship on the rocks after a visit to Thailand, because then I will go bankrupt.
Men who have never pissed next to the pot also go for the ax here or they have to be chained by their wife and they are not allowed to leave their hotel room.
Know a man who said I'm going for a walk and came back after three hours with a big smile on his face. His wife immediately knew what time it was and I could go on and on.
And we will not talk about the (s) expats. They have the fly open more often than closed and really not to pee alone.
@deRealist, after reading your comment I really wonder in which reality you live.
As is the case with most statements, the concepts in the statement are not precisely defined, which leads to different reactions because everyone reads what they want to read. Thailand, a country, in itself can never be a threat to marital fidelity. That is point 1. A threat can come from the married or unmarried Thai women who are out to hook a foreigner, for the short or long term. The threat may lie in the women on the dating sites, but also in the actual nightlife in Bangkok, Phuket or Pattaya, less so in Chumporn or Sukhotai.
Who says that a marriage (why not also a relationship, as Hans rightly points out) also by definition means loyalty? I wouldn't like to pay for the Westerners who have an open relationship or marriage and sometimes give each other a little fun outside the door. For a few, this is even the salvation of the existing relationship.
As the innkeeper is, he trusts his guests. Rooney's wife has vehemently protested to Manchester United's management that they included her husband Wayne in the squad to play in Bangkok in July 2013. She had her reasons, I think. Could Wayne have returned to England early and was the injury just an alibi?
In my circle of friends I can't get men with a steady relationship to Thailand. Not allowed by the woman. The same guys go skiing with friends without a partner. Like nothing can happen there…
It is the prejudices about Thailand that paint this picture, I'm afraid.
Women's logic? Well… Anyone who ever writes a universal manual for women will score number 1 on the bestsellers list for years to come.
By the way, by a steady relationship I also meant marriage.
"Tie the cat to the bacon" ??
What does that mean now?
Can that cat eat that bacon, and if so how do you tie it on?
Man, man, man.
In Belgium it is said to "put the cat in the milk".
Seems a bit more logical to me.
Aja on the topic:
Well, if you put the cat in the milk in Thailand, the milk will not quickly get the chance to turn sour.
: )
Dirk
'Tying the cat to the bacon' seems an appropriate expression, but the man who goes to Thailand with a girlfriend or worse, is 'carrying water to the sea'.
But maybe not for this site….
I can totally agree with that.
Because thai ladies are very friendly and beautiful.
A jug that is already cracked will break more quickly in TH (and PH and VN and many more poorer countries), because there the temptation is offered on a more massive scale. However, as soon as the man does not only think with the small head, but starts using the larger one and starts counting his blessings, the beautiful Thai, who often only sees him as an ATM or... one way out of misery can sometimes lose weight very quickly.
Also: “if you're not immune to the flu, you might have to get rid of it, so… just be surprised by the fever, take good care of it, it will go away on its own and then quickly forgotten. After that often immune”.
Doesn't have to be tropical fever, local NL fever occurs just as easily, but is much less noticeable.
I totally agree with this statement. My husband and I go to Pattaya every year because the weather is so nice there and not in the Netherlands. When I let go of Frank in Thailand he is unstoppable, so Frank goes on the chain as soon as we have pulled our suitcases off the belt and that chain is taut for three weeks. In Thailand, his hormones turn into a kind of rocket fuel. It's just creepy. I don't have that problem in the Netherlands, because Frank thinks all Dutch women are ugly. Except me, he thinks I'm pretty, so we have a good marriage, but as soon as we're in Thailand I suddenly have a figure of a 'bag of rice'. Find my husband. So I'm saying vacationing with your husband is risky if you don't take proper precautions.
Haha, funny Cor.
Going on holiday to Thailand with your wife is not asking for trouble.
Going to Thailand without your wife is just asking for trouble. And regular business trips or spouses working overseas are asking for even more trouble.
I've been to many places and I deal with a lot of people who work overseas and something happens regularly under the motto that don't know what won't hurt. For most, it is not marital fidelity that holds them back. It is the giving in and the consequences that hold them back. If they are at home in their own country, they will be careful. If you are far away and the chance of being caught is not there, the story will usually be different. Also, men are lazy by nature. If they are in their own country and sleep next to their own wives every day, have sex every day, then there is no need for cheating. They also protect their environment, women in the area usually know that a man is occupied and make little effort. So if the man wants to cheat, he must suddenly twist himself in all kinds of corners. Then put them alone in an environment where they are surrounded by all kinds of exotic women and then see what happens. With this I don't want to tar all men with the same brush, but something happens quite often. And the divorce rate in that business is really, really high.
If the partners at home knew everything their partners were up to abroad, then the number of single people would be much higher, so to speak. It's just that Thailand is a cliche and people quickly make the link. But it happens in so many more places. Most partners at home have little idea of what the world looks like outside the Netherlands.
So it is not only in Thailand that this is the case. What do you think of business trips to other Asian countries. My uncle was happily married in the Netherlands, had a nice job, etc. He was asked if he wanted to go to another Asian country for 3 months as a project leader. No problem, came home happy after 3 months. But after a week the high word was out, divorce and 6 months later the lady lived in the Netherlands. Or to South America etc.
Nor is it a privilege that only men enjoy. When I was still on the boat, you sometimes sailed together with women. It usually took a few weeks but then you could wait, night drunk in the bar and they also woke up in another cabin. And also in my current business I see many women who work far away playing exactly the same game as their male counterparts. And I myself have experienced enough in that regard in my bachelor life, if you were somewhere for a few weeks for a project, for example in the USA, then you always had a lady somewhere in a bar who just wanted some attention without immediately asking for it. to establish a relationship. They usually also picked out a foreigner simply because they knew that they would be gone after a few weeks and so no trouble would ensue from either side. And you are interesting for them because new, from far away etc etc so soon a nice chat instead of what a bad weather it is here today.
I don't know if older men in Thailand have to watch out. Like someone said in the places that are a bit more known for it probably yes. Even though it is incredibly fake, with all that extra attention it is of course tying the cat to the bacon.
If you are in Thailand outside the centers such as Pattaya, BKK and Phukett etc, then it is not too bad. But just because you don't see it doesn't mean it isn't there, you just have to actively look for it. Here in Khonkaen for example, the larger hotels simply have their own massage parlor on site, as a businessman or holidaymaker you don't even have to leave the house. But it is also a student city. Lots of girls, no family around so they don't have to be afraid of gossip. On a Saturday night the whole city is full of drunk girls of 20-25 years old and after some whiskey those neat ladies are not that difficult anymore. Depends a bit on your own age and target group. I'm just in my 30s myself and if you go out a bit in the student centers then you don't lack attention here either. So my girlfriend usually doesn't let me go out alone here, even though I'm very happy with her and I don't talk to other women 🙂
After 12 years of working overseas, I could at least write a book about it. With regard to the Thai women, they may be good at seduction, but adultery still involves 2 parties and usually the other is just as guilty.
Moderator: your comment is off-topic, please respond to the statement.
When a man arrives in Thailand and sees the ladies present, he knows for sure: “there are still women in the world”.
When an expat arrives in the Netherlands after many years and sees the ladies present there, he knows for sure: “there are still women in the world”
But what little in the Netherlands.
So, I lost it again!
I would like to agree with this, I have just visited family in the Netherlands for 3 weeks and you really have to look if you want to see an attractive woman. Now I don't want to say that only Thai women are beautiful, I have been to South America a lot for my work (Colombia, VENEZUELA, Brazil etc etc) Latin America South East Asia and there is a lot here that makes you think WOW, look at that. es. I think it also has a bit to do with the heat and the way of life, everything is a bit easier than in the puritanical north of Europe and North America. Of course it's a shame if you miss the pot... Here it is all the most normal thing in the world and that comes from both sides.
I see a lot of Western men walking around here with their Western wives and I think, I don't blame you if you miss the point here, and I'm not just talking about older couples, it's terrible how those women look, they don't have an ounce of eroticism. confess and then they also have the courage to parade across the beach with a tiny bikini. If you are a man in the Netherlands reading this, here is some free advice, explore the area a bit where your hotel is and after a few days... send your wife to a beauty salon for a few hours and you can get a "massage".
@jm, to be able to make such statements about Dutch women, you must at least look like Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp yourself. And now let me have my serious doubts about whether that is the case..
There is a lot of bitterness and old sorrow in your response, from someone who was not seen by the women in the Netherlands, from someone who could not even decorate a ladies bicycle.
It is a pity that you are so negative about Dutch women in general, because that includes our mothers and sisters, or may I point out that you yourself are also a product of a Dutch woman…
Dear JM
Us Bloggers are sometimes accused. That when it comes to Thailand.
We look too much through rose-colored glasses.
Now there is an advantage to rose-colored glasses. You will continue to see everything
On the other hand, if you put on welding goggles, you can't see anything.
I would bless JM if you come to the Netherlands again. Then take off those goggles.
I would like to say a little more but that has. Sir Charles already done.
I think it's a nice statement from Khun Peter. I thought there was still something to do
I disagree with the statement.
I agree with Cor Verhoef's first reaction.
If it happens at all, something is already wrong with your relationship.
I have been married for 36 years. I wouldn't want to miss one for the world
Not even for a nice tight Thai of 20
Funny statement but complete nonsense. I have been going on holiday to Thailand for 13 years, first with my whole family and now with my wife. Never seduced or sought it out. I do think that if you are open to it, it is not difficult to start an affair. So ladies know your guy and know what he's like. Then you can leave for Thailand with peace of mind.
My wife is Thai and doesn't trust her female compatriots at all
according to her, they are even more cunning hunters than men. And a wedding ring makes it even more exciting... older men are so interesting because it is assumed that
who have it together socially and are often more homely.
I have a very sweet wife and children, but I hypocritically look the other way when there is a beautiful one
I do not walk by a woman… ..watch out.
Morning Robert,
Yes, your wife is right.
In terms of sophistication, I think the Western woman can learn a lot from the Asian.
But why look the other way when a beautiful woman walks by.
My husband doesn't either and when I see a handsome guy (Western) walking by, I also say to my husband: "Look what a piece"
But,,,,,,,,,,,,,, get hungry outside but eat at home.
Louise
Jta to my shame I must confess that I couldn't/can't resist the temptation either!
And the men who say “that doesn't bother me”…. I take it with a grain of salt, which is called a whole pack of Jozo salt. There are irresistible ladies! It's true that not every man is that weak!
Moderator: Your comment is off topic. Respond only to the statement.
An old well-known saying in this is... WHO LOVES HIS WIFE LEAVE HER AT HOME..
Joost,
This has never been a saying, but once made up by a man to give himself a license.
Louise
Or to also give the woman a free pass, when the cat is away from home, the mice dance on the table. 😉 Just kidding. Weird spell of leaving the wife at home. Those who love and trust their partner will work it out together. On the road together or sometimes alone if it suits you. Whether someone is going to Amsterdam for a day or a trip to a distant (tropical) place for travel or business. A man or woman who secretly wants to cheat or secretly wants to visit paid prostitutes will succeed. Whether you are in Amsterdam, Rio de Jenero, Manila or Bangkok. Although I can understand that it becomes difficult for some people (m / f) if they are separated from their partner for a longer period of time (months). Then the desire for some pleasure may become too great for some and they can no longer resist the temptation (after a lot of drinking?). That remains wrong, of course, if you do not make agreements about it: the urge for sex is of course purely natural, but if you tacitly / literally promise to be faithful to 1 person, you have to stick to it and trust each other if the other is short or a little longer. alone from home.
What nonsense. My husband and I have been coming to Thailand for 16 months for 6 years. My husband is not cheating. Neither am I. Don't forget that there are also attractive men who go with older ladies? We enjoy the luxurious things that come with The Netherlands is not affordable. Our Thai acquaintances respect a married woman and leave my husband alone. Isn't that nice?
Moderator: please respond to the statement.
Why does the statement have to apply to Thailand? It also happens in the Philippines. Indonesia and other Asian or tropical countries. But if it happens, then something is already wrong in the relationship. Someone who loves his girlfriend/wife will not be seduced.
Perhaps the name of this blog will light up your mind and that is why Thailand is specifically mentioned in the statement?
Nature is invincible .
The forces of nature always come up unexpectedly so never tell me it won't happen.
Both man and woman, old and young are a natural product.
It depends for the most part on the behavior of the man. If you insist on going out in the red light districts, it's hard to resist the temptation. I have also been coming to Thailand for years, only when my marriage was really bad after years, did I open up and let myself be tempted. I've never actively looked it up.
But to claim that a marriage will break down when you go on holiday to Thailand as a couple, I think is going too far. I also came to Thailand before my marriage went too bad. And then I thought the ladies were beautiful to see, but I had no further interest. If you're that weak, the marriage isn't based on anything.
But that also appears to be the case in the Netherlands. When I hear how often men follow a woman like slobbering dogs just because she looks exotic and how they try to get a married woman into their bed too… I just find it creepy.
There is no denying that a good relationship lowers thresholds, but that does not mean that it certainly cannot happen, because when less blood flows to the brain because a certain other body part appropriates a part, there is a good chance that the mind will it will start to lose the erotic feelings gained at that moment.
It will not be the first time that a harmonious relationship has been jeopardized and therefore the wife and children, the mortgage and think about it yourself are unimportant at that moment, it has been that way genetically for centuries.
Been going to Thailand for a few winter months with my European girlfriend for years. The ladies I meet sometimes say jokingly “you can also come back without your wife”, but we can laugh about it when I tell my girlfriend afterwards. We sometimes get a proposal for a trio, but that is usually on a commercial basis. In short, we (and certainly my girlfriend) have no problem with it.