Statement of the week: A Thai partner is no better or worse than a partner from their own country
This week a submitted statement by Chris de Boer. He states that Thai partners are not by definition better or worse than Dutch/Belgian partners.
Many Dutch and Belgian expats have a Thai partner in Thailand. When you tell this to your friends or acquaintances for the first time, the stereotypical remarks are not out of the blue: they (very often about Thai women; a minority have a Thai man or a ladyboy as a partner) must look very exotic (meaning: sexy), she must have a slim figure, she must take better care of you than women in the West, she must be a good cook, you don't have to do a thing about the house, she is undoubtedly a perfect mistress.
These are all stereotypes and therefore also fairy tales. There are as many Western women as Thai women who can cook well, who are good mistresses. Yes, the skin color is somewhat different, although there are also plenty of exotic women in the Netherlands and Belgium these days.
Every expat has his preferences. There are also reasons to have a Thai partner. You no longer felt at home with your Western wife. You are a widower. You are simply in love with the Thai. You came here alone, but – all things considered – alone is also alone. You just want to feel young and wanted again. You want to continue living in Thailand and being married is emotionally and legally a bit easier than being unmarried. Some expats have bad experiences with a Thai woman, some have good experiences. Others have both experiences.
But: a Thai partner is no better or worse than a partner from your own country. You just have to hit the right one.
Do you agree with the statement or strongly disagree? Then leave a comment and join the discussion.
Dear Chris, agree with your statement. It is true that Thai women usually have less problems with traditional gender roles. This is not a value judgment as to whether that is good or bad, but just an observation.
In my eyes, a Thai woman is no different from the Western one. You could say that they generally look a bit more feminine / well-groomed. But that even applies to the students in their immaculate school uniforms. Clothing and appearance is also something to read function and status from. Perhaps an explanation?
Hi Peter
I think you are really seeing it wrong, if there is little difference between Thai/NL women.
Have had a relationship with a Thai lady twice
And also twice with two Dutch all two +\-10 years one died
The other is still my best friend we work together
But I have never experienced the Dutch girlfriend asking for an iPad car home
The first Thai relationship ended because Dad wanted a Toyota Vigo and I wouldn't give it
She started looking for another way to get a toyota
The second wanted a car when she couldn't even drive a car (I did get them the driver's license)
I asked why she wanted a car, she looked at me weird and said everyone has a car
In the Netherlands they don't see me as a walking ATM
The advantage of a Thai lady is that they do not look at age
My ex father-in-law (67 years old) came to Thailand for the first time and had just divorced.
I put the best barmaid (26 years old) on his lap, one with experience
He immediately fell in love, have been together for two years now
Where can he get that done in nl, as long as you pay
What strikes me here on thaiblog, that everything in thailand should be seen with pink glasses
Everyone is nice and sweet, they forget they do it for your money.
Everything is good, otherwise you're a grumpy negative
better go back to nl
But when you talk to other people who have been here for a long time
they almost always tell the truth
That women / men are not so nice, only when it comes to money then they are nice
Friendship and love always has a price
I've never had that with a woman
But I must say a Thai woman is a lot more feminine than a Dutch woman
Even if they have had children
An average 30 year old woman with children is sturdy with short hair.
Not really feminine to me
So if you don't see the difference, you don't want to see it.
Dear Rob, your comment is full of generalizations, generalities and insults. Normally the moderator wouldn't let this comment through, but I've asked him to so I can respond.
It's fairly simple. There are no social services in Thailand. The only resource to fall back on is the family. If you enter into a relationship with a Thai, you become part of that family. This means that you must also make a financial contribution. Of course within the limits of reason.
If a Thai lady asks you: car, house iPad while she knows you can't afford it, she doesn't love you. Incidentally, it doesn't matter much in Thailand if you can compensate this with money. Love and loving is a bonus, but not the most important thing for some Thai ladies. 'You can't eat love'.
If my girlfriend asks me to buy her a house or a car, it would make me laugh and probably she would too. I help her financially, but there are limits. She accepts that and if not, she should find someone else who has more money than me. In addition, I expect her to work herself and save money, which she does.
I don't mean to be unkind, but maybe you should take a look in the mirror and look at yourself. Almost all men who respond here point to others, in this case Thai ladies. Don't forget that you yourself are at least 50% guilty of the fact that it doesn't work out with a Thai lady. Do you know enough about the culture, are you naive, do you like the wrong ladies, are you an interesting partner at all?
And look what you write yourself: My ex father-in-law (67 years old) came to Thailand for the first time, had just divorced. I put the first best barmaid (26 years old) on his lap, one with experience. He immediately fell in love, have been together for two years now.
Are you surprised if that goes wrong? So is it the lady in question?
Do not forget, if you are at Schiphol, to also check your mind when you go to Thailand.
Moderator: Please respond substantively and please do not chat.
Hi Peter
Sorry everything I have written is true
And especially when two people are apart. Then there are three truths
But one thing is certain, money and appearance are very important.
And if my ex-father-in-law doesn't pay this month, she'll be back in the bar next month
You know that as well as I do. And what are the insults?
If the truth is an insult, then one should think.
And I certainly use my brain.
Everything that is reasonable is possible in consultation, but you should not be with me for greed.
I have earned everything with hard work and I sleep at night.
The mentality of quite a few ladies in Thailand is below par (especially this generation)
But yes, that can certainly not be said again. I live in Phuket and talk to different nationalities and they often say the same as me.
I know you will not like all this because everything is beautiful and good in Thailand, criticism is not allowed.
Dear Rob, we are not all the same. It is therefore difficult for me to put myself in your train of thought. That will be an omission on my part.
I have not claimed that money/status is unimportant. But you can't buy love and respect, you have to earn it. That a Thai lady of 26 does not express her eternal loyalty and unconditional love to your ex-father-in-law of 67 does not sound very strange to me. Honestly, I wouldn't either if I were her.
Perhaps it is an idea to look for a somewhat more equal relationship for yourself and for your ex-father-in-law (age, appearance, intelligence and life experience)? Can you find it in a bar? Perhaps, but then you have to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff and not let your primal urges get the upper hand first.
Good luck6!
My apologies to the moderator for chatting. I will therefore stop.
Khun peter you hit the nail on the head, and he is completely in it in an x, beautifully worded and for me the truth.
Dear Peter, you hit the nail on the proverbial head. All things considered, religion, culture, circumstances etc. make you the one who can only be disappointed in your own expectations.
Last year my wife died in an accident. She knew that I had no money to build a house and anything else like that, yet she stayed with me. Rode? I gave her what she longed for, affection, warmth, respect and understanding for the circumstances in which she grew up.
Now I recently have a girlfriend to whom I immediately told at the first meeting that I had no money and again, could not offer a house, etc. Her answer was the same as my deceased wife. She needed more affection, warmth, etc. Something many a Thiase woman yearns for.
She has her own business and is not financially dependent on me at all. She does not ask for anything except what she has longed for; someone she can talk to, who trusts her and makes her feel valued for who she is and not for what she does in bed.
I am now happy again and lucky with my new girlfriend and we will have a bright future together and because we can communicate well with each other, there is mutual understanding for the cultural differences, we can prevent many problems (taking on challenges).
Nice response Keith. If you are looking for a partner in Thailand with your attitude, you will be less likely to be disappointed. Glad you found happiness again. You deserve it.
I hope that getting deposited on the lap of a Thai beauty 41 years younger is not a model for the way in which the relationship between farang and Thai is formed. If this is the case, and it seems to be the case with many, then the proposition is not tenable.
Moderator: You are chatting.
Without wanting to make a judgment but look more feminine or well-groomed? Well, come and visit the villages or the less touristy places like ours in the south.
Young and old ladies often walk across the street in pajamas to go to the 7 Eleven, the ladies on the market don't look particularly nice and the normal clothing often consists of baggy trousers, baggy T-shirts and plastic slippers.
Yes, in the center of Bangkok, the ladies look well-groomed, but go to the center of any city in the west, there I generally see beautiful young and older, well-groomed ladies, just like in Bangkok, and in some cities often a lot more. chic.
Monique, I know what you mean and what you say is correct. Have talked about this with my girlfriend. Her explanation is that it is not appreciated in the village if you look too much like a madam. There are reasons for that too.
The average in Thailand will not differ much from the average in the Netherlands, I now think. Maybe it's mostly imagination? In the Netherlands I also have the idea that the further south you go the more well-groomed the women look, but that will probably not be true. 😉
Well Monique you are only partly right people with a low income have almost no money to buy good clothes!
Walter, I realize that too, but the reaction was that Thai women look more feminine and well-groomed, which is not always the case, also due to a lack of money or simply no taste, the same applies to Dutch women.
I'm sure if all these women had a little more to spend they would have more time and opportunities to take better care of their appearance.
Dear Chris,
I totally disagree with you. It could be that I have had a bad time with two Dutch women, but when I look at my friends I see the same patterns. The Dutch woman is very selfish, I have to adapt to her ideal image. My Thai wife gives me all the space to do my own things, doesn't try to change my bad things, doesn't put pressure on me. If there is time I help with the housework, but in general the division of roles is clear and we are both very happy with that. She really hasn't had an easy life, but she never complains about that. Complaining and whining are not in her dictionary. Never again a Dutch woman for me
Dear Chris,
Maybe you did indeed have a bad luck, but I would like to know what exactly did the ladies try to change about you?
When it comes to looking unkempt or something in that spirit, I can honestly imagine that. And as I read here on Thailand blog, it is very much appreciated, also by the gentlemen, if their partner looks well-groomed.
When it comes to other things, I would also like to know out of curiosity, just for my imagination.
In terms of appearance and certain behavior, the Thai ladies do not differ much in principle (on average). However, there is a big difference (open door…) in terms of culture. This results in daily affairs that clearly make a difference between the Western and the Thai woman.
For example, just look at the hierarchical way of working within companies (see earlier article on Thailandblog).
There is also a great emancipatory difference between Western and Thai women, not to mention the way in which domestic problems are dealt with, for example.
In short: there is clearly a difference between the Western woman (human actually, because it also applies to the man) and the Thai.
To conclude with Khun Peter: no value judgment whether the Western woman or whether the Thai woman is better or worse, you can write a long treatise about that.
The cultural difference certainly has to do with it, as well as the origin of the woman.
Particularly in the poorer regions, the "dowry" is still highly valued by the lady's parents.
The younger and poorer daughters in particular may very much like to marry someone, but if the young man or the parents cannot cough up the dowry. literally and figuratively, the party is often canceled.
The "marriages of convenience" still exist and my girlfriend once told me that if the man takes good care of his wife and family, love will come naturally, so it can be argued.
What we Westerners think of that dowry is very different than in several cultures, many Muslim countries and the Chinese also take this into account.
Also at a later age, the (Thai) woman will certainly take this into account.
Old proverb. It's all about the penny and the whistle.
Kuhn Peter,
Does not make any sense.
The Thai more feminine and caring.
As Monigue said, you see them walking every now and then, as if they just got out of bed and with the appropriate clothing.
Of course, also very well-kept, but you also have that in Holland.
And the traditional gender roles.
That has already been discussed in a number of blogs and I also said that the Asian woman is less likely to say; “hello, do it yourself”
More service oriented.
AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS NOT NEGATIVE!!!!
@Koge,
Unfortunately you hit 2 wrong women.
In a marriage there is give and take on both sides
"
“”My Thai wife gives me space to do all things””””
“””My Thai wife is not trying to change my “bad” things”””
“””My Thai wife doesn't put pressure on me”””
UUUUHHHH, am I seeing this wrong or is this only about you????
Maybe not 2 wrong women after all???
And yes, I'm married too.
as December 9th it will be 44 years.
I continue to enjoy Thai blog.
Greetings,
Louise
' I also said that the Asian woman is less likely to say; “hello, do that yourself” '
You obviously never met my wife 😀 😉
I do agree with the statement.
Not better and not worse, but different.
By the way, I think that the biggest differences and problems are not caused by the culture, but by the age difference between many Thai people and their farang.
Some have 2 generations between them.
The Thai woman is in many ways by definition different from the Western (read: Dutch woman) so I disagree with your statement. Let me try to clarify this.
Contrary to popular belief in the West, the position of a Thai woman in Thailand is anything but weak. The image that the Western world has that every Thai woman has something to do with the sex industry is not correct. Of course, many Thai women are easily accessible to Western men. Younger Thai women have no problem with older Western men (“age is just a number” is a frequently heard statement). But let's be honest, it is of course all about the money because the Thai woman likes the illusion that every farang is rich and can give her the life she wants. If you have nothing to offer the Thai woman financially, then you have no business in Thailand. The Thai woman goes for financial security and if you can offer her that, you have a great woman who is different in every way from the Western (read: Dutch woman). But here's the opposite of all those men who have experienced the GirlFriendExpirience and sometimes been squeezed to the bone. Because the Thai woman is smart, much smarter than the Western woman. Last year I wrote a chronicle about Thai women. I would like to repeat it here.
Thai women are confident, goal-oriented, dominant and have excellent business instincts. Legally, the position of a woman in Thailand is weak. In the event of a divorce, a woman is completely dependent on herself and there is no question of alimony. Wages for women are also lower than for men. The Thai woman is the engine of Thai prosperity. 80% of Thai women work full-time. This is among the highest labor participation rates in the world. 60% of the available workers in the industry are women and for Thailand's important export industries, such as textiles and electronics, this is even 80%. Acceptance and emancipation of Thai women in the Thai business world is better than in the West. A woman who wants to make a career and has sufficient capabilities is fully accepted by male colleagues. More than half of the Thai business world is owned by women, making Thailand the world leader. Nowadays there are more women than men completing higher education. This will undoubtedly mean that the position and influence of Thai women will become even more important in the future. The other side of the coin is that the Thai woman puts her career above all else, with characteristic consequences for population growth. Politics remains a man's world for the time being and is known as a snake pit full of corruption and other dangers. But today's Thai woman does not accept this and also wants to make a career on the political stage. Since July 2011, Thailand has had its first female Prime Minister.
In short, the Thai woman is by definition much, much better / smarter than the Western woman.
To conclude from the figures and facts quoted that Thai women are better / smarter than Western women is still getting lost. What you call only concerns labor participation and the position on the labor market. These are just a few indicators. It says nothing about education, social positions, relationships, etc.
Furthermore, your chronicle looks suspiciously like an article that previously appeared on Thailandblog: https://www.thailandblog.nl/maatschappij/thaise-vrouwen/
??
You should read my whole story and not just take out the chronicle. The chronicle I refer to originated in the prospectus “Doing Business in Thailand” that the World Bank released in 2012. Your piece of Society/Thai women looks like a literal translation of that. So “the pot calling the kettle black”. Other than that, my opinion won't change. The Thai woman is better/smarter than the Western (read: Dutch woman).
Ronald,
I could argue a lot against this but I respect other people (including women) and can see things from a different perspective like many smart people.
@ Monique, Sorry I don't understand the comment. You're acting like I'm disrespecting you. But the statement is “Thai Partner is no better or worse than a partner from your own country”. I responded to that. It has nothing to do with respect or disrespect. I respect everyone. But you have differences such as male, female, white, black, smart, stupid and so on. I do not mind. Based on my experience, I think Thai women are smarter than Dutch women. But do you see it all in the right perspective?
What I mean is the following which I fully agree with:
Intelligence measurement means the determination (measurement) of a person's intelligence trait. “Measuring” someone's intelligence, which is mainly done with psychodiagnostic tests, is not a simple matter, mainly because intelligence has many facets and is not easy to define. Just as people differ in height and weight, so do they differ in their intelligence. But where height and weight are easy to measure, this is not directly possible with intelligence. The concept is too comprehensive for that. No single test can cover all the different facets of intelligence and determine it reliably and validly. It can only be determined approximately how well certain functions of intelligence are developed in a human or animal. With increasing age, children grow not only in height and weight, but also in intelligence. Certain facets of intelligence change more with age than others. Learning a second language is easier at a young age than at a later age. Memory functions decline more quickly in older people. In some cultures, certain facets of intelligence are practiced (and learned) more than others. These variations in age and culture must be taken into account when measuring intelligence.
Further information can be found here:
http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intelligentiemeting
So your general statement that the Thai woman is smarter, therefore more intelligent, does not make any sense.
@ Monique, Read my response(s) again. Where does it say that my opinion about the smartness of Thai women is a general statement. Nowhere. I only stated what I think of Thai women compared to Western (read: Dutch) women. Like others give their opinion what they think about it. I don't know what you are trying to prove with your scientific monologue. But believe me, I know what is meant by intelligence. Once again the statement: “The Thai Partner is no better or worse than one from your own country”. Although this statement could just as well apply to the Thai man (as a partner), Chris de Boer's explanatory text emphasizes the woman. My sincere opinion is that the Thai woman is in many ways better/smarter than the Dutch woman. Now there may be something wrong with my IQ (read: smartness) but “every bird sings just the way it is beaked” so to speak.
Well Ronald, perhaps for the sake of convenience we should conclude that Thai men are smarter than Western men. I dare to say that after reading your explanatory comment. 😉
@ Khun Peter, The present statement could just as well apply to the Thai man. But as I already mentioned in my (after) response to @ Monique, the explanatory text, by Chris de Boer, puts the emphasis on women. But if the statement also applies to Thai men, my reaction would be: “Thai men are not dumber than other men from Western countries, but they behave more stupidly”.
The fact that there is no alimony is not entirely correct.
Whether there is alimony for the wife, I dare not say, but I honestly think not, because generally both men and women work.
But there is indeed a duty of care towards the children.
However, this right is often not claimed because people no longer want contact with the spouse.
Often also because there has been violence by the husband.
The Thai often don't make a fuss about children, by the way.
Sometimes they live with dad and sometimes they live with mom, or with grandpa and grandma.
Sometimes they are also simply distributed.
This one for you and these two for me.
Children also often have the freedom to choose who they want to live with.
What I also find striking is that mothers sometimes/regularly don't want to know anything more about a child if the child has had an accident at a teenage age.
In that case, the child is dumped with dad or grandpa and grandma and there is no longer any contact with the child.
In 1 case known to me, the father had died in an accident and the child, now 6 or 7 years old, lives with the parents of the father and the mother is no longer heard from.
This child was no accident, by the way.
That's right, you just have to hit the right one.
I have been married to a Dutch, an African and now for over 8 years with a Thai.
A very happy marriage, although of course you have the cultural differences between the Netherlands and Thailand, I do not understand certain things in Thailand, but that also applies to my partner in the Western world.
My wife is a sweet, reliable woman, but so was my ex-Dutch wife, the African one certainly less so.
Personally, I don't think you can say whether a woman from any country is better or worse than anyone else, who do you fall in love with is the question and is there a common interest, that has nothing to do with the nature of the country what is true is that if you fall for a woman, then from your own familiar environment you make a start on what it should be like UNERVISAL thinking patterns, and not in national
willem
Thank you Louise,
Yes, of course it's about me.
Moderator: Last sentence removed.
Seems logical to me that no woman/man from a region is better or worse. Eventually, you fall in love or build a friendship with someone because of personality (and often good looks) and who you want to be with (including caring for each other). There may be a cultural sauce over it, but that doesn't say much, in a relationship it comes down to whether the characters click. That partner can come from anywhere because love can strike you at the most unlikely moment. Propositions like “the Thai” or “The Dutchman”. (m/f) are therefore nonsensical stereotypes. Especially when it comes to a relationship between 2 individuals. I therefore agree with Khun Peter, among others.
Of course you can't say who is better or who is worse.
I do dare to say that in Thailand the spectrum of personalities is wider; more people live there.
It goes without saying that there are also greater differences between rich and poor. This broadens the choice; there is no need to be ashamed, financial status and future prospects also play a major role in partner selection in the West. The ugliest football players have the most beautiful wives. In Thailand you just 'buy in' a bit better.
Below are a few target groups, which I believe can be eminently successful.
– If you are single and retired and you also have some non-alcoholic hobbies that you can also pursue here, very important for your mental health, come this way immediately. With some human knowledge and after some good searching you will find a lovely partner who will take care of you to the grave. (not meant to be sarcastic)
– If your five relationships or more always ended in reluctance to have sex and you are not sure of your identity in this area, try a ladyboy or for the ladies a tomboy, of which there are at least as many around here.
Maybe, like me, you never want to go home.
I find thailandblog very informative and decent but what I read in the comments on this subject I find sad, the level drops to that of many bad forums on the internet.
I have been married for 37 years in B? have a thai for 9 years and also kids together she is no way better than a western one and also i thought she would be more caring just thai chauvenischme me me and me the rest is unimportant.
I think this question is way too personal. It touches the soul of the man. Men, including me, don't like to expose themselves. When one is young one sees more a lady with the heart, one is older than more with the mind. In my opinion, the fact that Western men like young Thais has more to do with the lady than with the man. It has already been written above. A Thai woman primarily wants security in her current life and an income after the death of her husband, left behind by her husband. So rather an older man.
I myself had a relationship in Thailand for 8 years, with a lady who was 10 years younger than me (now 59 y, the lady is 69) until she said “I want to be a free birth”. I still live in Thailand but do not wish to commit myself (for the time being?).
I'm not saying better or worse. Everyone has their own experiences. Those who are satisfied will say yes, the others will have their own opinion.
Hello Chris
In general it is not good to generalize but for this one exception, I am married to such a Thai stereotype and you know it is also true!
She is exotic, she has a slim figure, she takes very good care of me, a perfect mistress. and I don't have to do anything around the house anymore.
No dude Chris madness, they are often clichéd prejudices. because there are plenty of people who deviate from the above picture, in every country the people are different and fortunately, at least you now have a choice.
And whether a woman from Thailand is better than a Western woman differs per person, and what experiences you have in this regard.
At least I like it with my Thai whopper, oh yes and she can cook very well!
Best regards,
Farang Tingtong
I'm new here and don't understand a few things. There is talk of a moderator? and How is the valuation established?
@ Jan Janse The moderator assesses whether the comments comply with the house rules. If you click on that word at the top right of the homepage, you will find Thailandblog's requirements for comments. Responses can be rejected without giving reasons. Sentences or passages can also be removed. Usually the moderator reports this.
By appreciation you probably mean the thumbs up. Everyone can click a thumbs up under a reaction once and show his / her appreciation. We don't have thumbs down. Facebook doesn't know either.
You are new to the blog. A warm welcome!
I agree with Chris de Boer's statement that a Thai partner is no better or worse than a partner from our own country.
Partners from their own country are very demanding in a different way than a Thai partner and often, as someone said, selfish and spoiled.
Some Dutch women may be selfish, but I have only encountered liars here and if and if you open yourself up as a man in Thailand in an honest, straightforward manner, you will quickly find yourself alone and penniless, because no one is interested in it. …..
That is perhaps the most important thing most people need a T-shirt with just ME on it…..
In the Netherlands, it has been hammered into Dutch women for more than 50 years that they are independent
had to be. The woman's right was not the “kitchen sink”, but the right to study and work.
Not I am the wife of …., but who is she herself?
Think of all emancipatory movements in the Netherlands “Opzij”, Alida de Jong, Boss in our own belly, etc. (since 1970)
That a woman changes as a result, can be guessed.
“Male patterns” are adopted: smoking, drinking, etc.
Due to my.developments and secularization, divorce becomes easier and later too
all kinds of “relationships”: key parties, one night stand to LAT relationships.
I think that Thai society has not experienced this development or change
without making any value judgments.
This may be one of the differences between Dutch and Thai women.
Sincerely,
Lodewijk
Would that be it?
For several weeks I have been wearing a T-shirt with my own name on it.
Now that name is in Thailand a name that only women have, since that time I have the attention of the ladies everywhere I go.
I think it 's because they see that I have a case .
In any case , wherever I go , I am not alone in the world .
What is striking is that these ladies always have sad stories.
In hindsight that is most true.
A Thai partner better or worse than a Dutch one? .
It is a fact that Thai women have different expectations of their Dutch partner than Dutch women. The Dutch man opens a new world for his Thai. A world she knows from stories and TV, but which is unattainable without a western man. In the vast majority of cases, that is the special aspect of the relationship.
Does that make a Thai partner better or worse? Do not think so. If you hit the right one, it is the basis for a lifelong happy relationship. I agree 100% with that.
Indeed it is not worse or better, but the cultural divide is very deep and the setbacks can lead to enormous and unimaginable situations for Westerners such as gambling, prostitution, in-laws who run your money off or does the partner have children that you do not know about or the ex ? which is still being maintained, etc., etc., but yes, don't let us lose courage and use your good mood and smile at the sun 🙂
Is a Thai woman by definition better than a Dutch no, but are they easier.
Well in a lot of cases yes, I'm going to start from my own situation for now.
Ladies in the 18-35 category about +/- my age, so when I see how difficult the Dutch ladies are.
I see it mainly in relationships around me then I give you as a young man to do in the Netherlands.
Certain things were different with older generations, but when I now see how the roles are divided in many relationships.
So the man is usually at home and in terms of income, etc., often screwed up.
That's called if you hook up with a spoiled Dutch princess because often go on dating sites, for example, but take a look at the list of requirements that such a princess has.
Then you often feel like contacting them again immediately.
Are Thai women perfect, no, not by definition, but many Dutch ladies are even less so.
I think in both cases it's just a matter of meeting the right ones who are just made for each other.
Of course Chris {and Peter} is right..This statement is a tautology! After all, as Chris says: “you have to hit the right one”! Further discussion is then pointless, although I had a lot of fun reading the various nonsensical comments.
Statement of the week: A Thai partner is no better or worse than a partner from their own country
The statement: a Thai partner is no better or worse than a partner from your own country, is misleading because an extremely important condition must first be met, namely: simply meeting the right one.
The large number of responses is worrying because it shows that this condition has apparently not descended into the awareness of many partner seekers.
You could then say that the opposite, namely: meeting the wrong person, is given preference.
This wrong person then controls, according to many other reactions, a number of behaviors that are also welcome, such as taking someone by the nose, fooling and playing tricks on someone, and furthermore playing a trick on someone.
Those behaviors, in turn, have the advantage of being able to grumble that you have been cheated, duped, tricked, scammed, misled and outwitted.
In short: seeing yourself as a victim means that you can easily handle the statement!
@ KhunRudolf, I always read the Thailand blog with great interest, especially when a statement is made. Sometimes I feel called to respond. Why? because I think I can make a useful contribution to the discussion. Then there comes a moment when I think enough is enough. But then there is another reaction that makes me think “has this been completely ripped off”. How can you find the statement misleading? Making your value judgement, finding reactions questionable in the realization that not everyone has wondered whether he has hit “the right one”. The responses reflect that exactly. Some were not affected (negative reactions) and some were (positive reactions) and everything in between. Isn't that exactly the purpose of Thailandblog? Read Rob's response (September 9, 13:53 PM). In it he tells his experience in his own way. His choice of words is not mine, but he gives a good idea of what things are like here in Thailand. Immediately afterwards he is “teased” by Khun Peter. There are many men around who have fallen victim to GirlFriendExperience, as I wrote here before.
Ronald K is 68 years old, has been married for almost 3 years to a Thai who is 30 years younger. Of course I know that marriage is not based on love. But she has a life that every Thai woman wants and I get the care I like in return.
Dear Ronald: don't worry. My response was meant to be sarcastic. Because who doesn't assume that they won't find the right one, and who does prefer that? Nobody right? Precisely. Just as someone doesn't think before wanting a Thai partner, doesn't imagine himself under an illusion, and doesn't look for consequences of his choice within himself.
Unfortunately, irony sometimes shows the opposite.
That statement can be individually true or false. And with all those individual values you get an average (which doesn't really affect anyone, but with which figures like Maurice de Hond earn their living).
I have no experience with Thai and taste is something personal. There are attractive Thai, but also less attractive ones and with Thai I have a bit more trouble seeing whether it is a lady or a gentleman.
I do have experience with the other side of the world, and I'm sure some parallels can be drawn there. I am married to a Mexican. So we live in the Netherlands. From her circle of acquaintances I see all kinds of Spanish-speaking nationalities. And is there indeed a few who look good (my wife, of course, including… but that speaks for itself in this context). But I personally find the majority really horribly ugly. I myself am quite old-fashioned when it comes to ideals of beauty and I don't think people have to be thin or short at all... But I myself think a slightly smaller woman (smaller than the man in height) and slightly slimmer than the man (or less fat, if you want) more attractive than the other way around. And with those other Spanish speakers (mostly from Venezuela, a country where a Miss World regularly comes from), I often see slim Dutch (nerds) men and the ladies are from the club of ugly and fat Venezuelans. (As if Chavez has just arranged that the beautiful specimens are stopped at the border and the ugly ones have received a free one-way ticket to the Netherlands from him). Oh well, I'm getting a little cynical. And then you can talk about the inside of someone. Well, the ugliest creature on the inside is a (fortunately: former) acquaintance of my wife. Ugly on the outside and even uglier on the inside. Hopefully she is happy with her nerd husband, who apparently has transferred loads of money to a so-called 'neat' Thai girl (probably he met her in Patpong area) in the past.
Now I myself fall faster on blond hair and big ones... you can fill that in yourself... but that doesn't mean that I don't see beauty in every culture. So my wife doesn't fit (on most counts) the beauty ideal I had before I met her. In the Netherlands, women are often a bit taller (I often think: too tall). In terms of bossiness, I think there is little difference between Dutch and Hispanic women (those girls from the fat and ugly Venezuelan club are all pretty bossy towards their men who work in IT). Mine also wants to be the boss at home, but I have that tendency myself. And despite differences of opinion on many levels, you still notice that you are growing closer together on many points and that disagreement does not have to be the beginning of the end.
But I'm getting off topic a bit... From my dating past I found that Dutch ladies (from my 'sample') are more demanding. Now that may have to do with the age and that slightly older Dutch ladies are less demanding and have become more sober ... But between the ages of 20-30 many were empty and empty and mainly focused on appearance (and no: I didn't date Sylvie van der Vaart-Meis... 2 minutes is really too short to get to know someone well 😉
Many Dutch ladies I met then have a rather wrong self-image and think that someone matched who is really a bit 'out of their league'. And so dear men, at that moment, fall off for them. Maybe after a broken relationship as a single mother they feel differently, but I never wanted to date someone who already had children (I didn't have them myself yet... so I was the demanding guy).
At some point I came into contact with my wife in the modern way (internet). And then there appear to be differences in recent years (which are quickly put on the culture map ... but the Dutch also often have a difference of opinion based on growing up in a different family, different province, etc.). There were also similarities (background of the parents and how they had organized their lives). And then the religious background (and I am far from being religious, but I can quite appreciate certain values and norms) has an advantage in not giving up so quickly when we have a bit of adversity, but just putting our shoulders under it and trying to keep the promises.
I think that should be possible with a Dutch partner.
So after this much too long epistle: I agree with the statement that one partner does not have to be better or worse than the other. But there are some cultural differences, which, when they appeal to you, can have a positive effect. Dutch ladies are generally a bit more 'sloddervos' and in other cultures people try to make something more out of the special moments. For example, count the number of jeans at a Dutch wedding and at a wedding with a Thai or Mexican. The desire to make something more of it at certain times appeals to me. On the other hand, I also like the level-headedness of the Dutch and not wanting to stress about everything. So in the end I am happy with the balance.
Whether you have a good Dutch or Thai wife… it doesn't really matter: hold on to her. If you have hit a bad one (that of the fat and ugly Venezuelan club for example)… it doesn't matter if she is Thai or Dutch… be wise and draw the right conclusions in time.
Oh yes… I myself am not a fan of the huge age differences. The more than 4 years that my wife is younger, I think is already too big. So I don't see myself in a relationship with a lady 30 younger.
Dear Paul, you have taken a lot of time and effort to talk in very general terms about your relationship with women (Central American or Dutch), and what physical preferences you have. What I don't understand is that you, yourself married to a Mexican woman, post your thoughts about them on Thailandblog. All the more so because the statement is not about whether one partner is better or worse than the other: the statement is about a Thai partner!
I think your text is more suited to a Mexico blog, also because you apparently feel the need to talk about the bossiness you find in your women. Well, with us in Thailand that is of course much less if not the case at all, and besides: our women are much more lovely, beautiful and attractive. Well, maybe that's what makes you crave for this Thailand(blog).
I'm probably getting a bit demented, as I don't understand almost all the often hilarious comments at all. The statement, I think, was: “A Thai partner is no better or worse than a partner from your own country. You just have to find the right one.” Now my surprise: isn't it true that if you find the right one, it no longer matters which country your partner comes from? It's raining, therefore it's raining.
All has been said, we close the discussion.