Statement of the week: If you are easily annoyed, it is better not to live or live in Thailand!
'People with a short fuse should not go and live in Thailand' is this week's statement that readers can shoot at.
Of course it all seems nice and wonderful in Thailand, especially for tourists. However, if you stay here longer, the surprise of the beginning turns into annoyance after a while. Then you no longer see that Thai smile as the paragon of friendliness, but as a sign of indifference.
I noticed it more often in the conversations with expats who live here. People started to be disturbed by those things that people found so attractive about Thailand in the beginning. Like a lack of rules. They found the Netherlands a country of regulations and therefore suffocating. A country like Thailand then works refreshingly, I can tell you, because here everyone just does something. Unfortunately, that effect wears off after a while.
Because if I'm honest, I'm starting to get annoyed too, even though I don't even live here permanently. Traffic in particular is an example of this. Everyone here drives around like a headless chicken, like they're the only one on the road. Put a few blind people in a car and they drive even better and more logically than the average Thai.
I therefore gain more and more respect for Dutch people who shrug their shoulders about this and keep smiling. Or can you sometimes dismiss that as indifference and are they too integrated?
What exactly are those annoyances? Well, just a random list of things that could bother an outsider:
- Traffic and road safety.
- The corruption in all parts of this country.
- The dirt on the street and the far-reaching environmental pollution.
- Indifference, stupidity and disinterest of some Thai people.
- Noise pollution and no awareness at all that it could be a nuisance to others.
- Poor quality of products and lack of warranty.
- Rude and disinterested store staff.
- The fact that a human life in Thailand is not worth much.
- The lack of seasons and the overpowering heat (almost 40 degrees).
- The bad internet connection and no decent alternative like 3G.
- The fact that English is so poorly spoken, despite the tens of millions of tourists who visit the country.
- Lack of rules and especially the enforcement of them.
- Skin color discrimination and discrimination based on origin (Isaan).
- Not allowed to participate in Thai society (you are and remain a foreigner).
- Double price system for farang and always imprint something on the price when a farang is nearby.
- The poor education, the limited view of the world and the excessive nationalism.
- The tough Thai society full of violence, rape, murder and manslaughter.
- Foreigners only good for bringing money.
- No awareness of animal welfare.
- The lack of decent programs on Thai TV (soaps, soaps and more soaps. Have you ever seen an interesting documentary?).
- The hypocritical rich monks in fat cars.
- Limited social life. Thais do not make friends with a farang without an intention.
- The huge gap between rich and poor.
- The morbid superstition and adherence to animism (belief in ghosts).
Yes, I know these are gross generalizations. But name one that seems completely unknown to you? If expats drink a beer together, then we can just repeat this list? Or as an expat confided to me: 'I have a love-hate relationship with Thailand. I can't live with or without that country.'
The above list is apparently a source of annoyance for many. Some points on that list for me too. Fortunately not all of them because then I wouldn't want to stay here anymore. As I said, I personally get annoyed especially in traffic.
Of course, no society or country is perfect, but Thailand certainly isn't. And people who are easily annoyed by these things or who find it difficult to adapt, better think twice before moving here.
It is of course also possible that you do not agree with this at all. You can also say if you get annoyed quickly, that's your problem and also unhealthy for your body and mind. I am therefore happy to be convinced of a different opinion by arguments.
So give your reaction to this confrontational statement of the week: If you are easily annoyed, it is better not to live or live in Thailand!
Peter, I completely agree with you ... I have been coming here on holiday for years and have never been annoyed by anything, but now that I live here I am and my wife, who is Thai, can also be very annoyed by her own country and fellow countrymen. ...especially the rudeness and the fact that the store staff already knows better are one of her major annoyances...there are a few more of the ones you mentioned above that also seriously annoy me sometimes...but I'm sure If I return home I would miss the country enormously.
So I completely understand that love-hate relationship with the country.
I want to make a few comments about it:
1. if you live here (and work like me) you have to adapt. If you can't afford that even after 3 to 4 years, you better go back to the Netherlands, because then you have no life here;
2. Never compare Thailand with the Netherlands: different standards apply here, whether you like it or not, whether you think it is fair or not. Thailand has a very different history than the Netherlands and is not a democracy like the Netherlands;
3. If you do compare: compare the good things of the Netherlands with the bad things of Thailand and you will go back today. Compare the bad things of the Netherlands with the good things of Thailand and you will stay here forever.
4. Realize that expressing frustration and anger in public in Thailand is 'not done'. A lot is allowed indoors, but shouting or getting angry on the street gives you the image of a bad man or woman.
5. Try to understand things before judging.
6. I am fortunate enough to be a teacher and to try to get my Thai students to think about their own society.
chris
Completely agree that if you are easily annoyed, you do not belong here in Thailand, because you are also a nuisance to the expats around you.
I always say: “We are here, for fun”, so we can miss people like that like a toothache…..haha
So if you come across or notice this kind of people among your (?) friends here in Thailand, then stop eating it, because they will only ruin your life…..
Yes that's right. Someone with a short fuse should stay at home, but we are foreigners and will always be here, even if you speak fluent Thai.
But is that so bad? Why should we Thais become like the Thais.
Take it as it is; you remain an outsider and you watch everything here with great amazement, enjoy the beautiful things and exclude the ugly things, because you have even a small responsibility towards society here, not because you do not want to take it, but because you are also excluded from this.
I can agree with the statement that if you are easily irritated, it is better not to live in Thailand.
Indeed, just as you write in your article, the issues you list are generalizations, but it is also the truth that you will have to deal with each of those issues at some point.
It might be weird to read, but I've calmed down a lot since staying here.
I used to be annoyed by things in Belgium / the Netherlands, but still, then I could express that annoyance somewhere.
You can ring the bell somewhere, or you can talk to someone or whatever. (Whether that fixes it is another matter.)
Initially I was no different in Thailand and I was annoyed by all those things, but the difference was that I had nowhere to express my annoyance.
At a certain point you are full, you are satiated and you become indifferent to all those things.
Strangely enough, from that moment on it was like a weight lifted off my shoulder and I felt better about myself.
When I'm confronted with the mentioned things now, I shrug my shoulders and think, you do what I care, or I react like them.
It is often said and written that if you show annoyance towards a Thai or a Thai situation, they regard this as a sign of weakness or rudeness.
It is, but I find that when you show indifference or act like them, they start acting very nervous and even asking questions.
I would almost say that they are going to wonder why that farang is not angry now, because that is how it should be.
So I've learned to show indifference to certain situations or behave in the same way as them, and then I find that I penetrate more, get more done, or at least make them think about the situation.
For example, making appointments with a Thai at a specific time is often a problem. Everyone has experienced this at some point.
They feel that they can come whenever they please, regardless of who is expecting them.
I was quite concerned about that at first.
This no longer happens to me, because I once let it feel that I was indifferent whether they are there or not.
Which isn't to say I don't like those people or I wouldn't date them, but I just wanted to show that I didn't want them to keep me waiting without a reasonable explanation.
Oddly enough, the indifference I showed then about their presence or not means that they will now arrive on time (or at least within an acceptable time frame).
Another such thing.
I think the Thais have a sick habit of putting everything in a plastic bag. I sometimes think – What would Thailand be without a plastic bag?
I used to always go to the same 7-11 to get cigarettes and after a while they get to know you.
The girl would then take the pack of cigarettes from the racks behind her, put it in a plastic bag (sometimes I got a straw with it) and handed it to me with a smile.
Initially, I returned the pouch (and straw, if any) and said I didn't want that pouch.
Nothing helped, the pack of cigarettes kept going into the plastic bag, and every time I had to say that I didn't have to.
Until the day I said nothing, paid, took the plastic bag, took out the pack of cigarettes and tossed the bag into the bin next to the counter.
I smiled at her and left without saying anything about the bag.
She must have found that strange because from that day on I received my pack of cigarettes without a plastic bag.
Actually, I also have a love-hate relationship with Thailand, I think.
Despite all these things, I feel good here. As soon as I'm back to Belgium I miss it already.
There must be something that attracts me to this country (besides my wife of course) although I can't directly explain it. Can it be explained?
So I just keep going, live with the situation and think “if you can't beat them join them”
Ronnie,
nice example of the cigarettes in the plastic bag.
I don't smoke myself so I didn't know this phenomenon yet.
Thank you for taking the time to start behaving indifferently yourself.
Yes, you can get annoyed with the traffic here in Thailand, but if you pay a little attention and drive like the Thais, you'll like it even better, the way the road is used here. When we go shopping at the Makro, we always drive with our Yamaha with side cart. Inside we reach the bypass and then have to go a bit to the left on the right side of the road. So we drive, wide as we are, on the side lane against traffic. Nobody annoys us. On the contrary, there is often room and we always have nice reactions because I drive such a motorcycle as Farang. So, why should I be annoyed the other way around?
I can play loud music, no one bothers me. Life becomes a lot easier when you do like the Thais do.
I don't find the Thais indifferent at all. They are not as interfering as many compatriots.
My girlfriend also often says that she doesn't like to visit people unless she has business. It is not from Thais against foreigners, they mainly deal with each other when there is something to arrange or there is a good reason for it. There is fun involved in that. I think that's a good attitude, with which I already live well myself. So nothing to get upset about for me.
I rather get annoyed at the foreigners, who sit together for hours every day, drinking old wives and drinking beer after beer and thinking they know it all. Then a solution to the Thai problem is always sought. These figures can be sent home for me on the first best plane. But we all agree on Thailandblog, don't we? They never read this blog either, because they don't care about that….
Your reaction caught my heart, Jack.
Many falang are not only annoyed by the Thai, but also by me. I don't talk to them.
Always the same talk. Beer and think all Thai women want to sleep with them.
Everything better in our own country…. Of course there are also other falang, sometimes a short conversation and then enjoy your meal and have a nice day.
Traffic? I have driven professionally in many countries around the world and can say that driving in Thailand is excellent, including Bangkok.
I have Thai family and many Thai friends and they are annoyed by most falang, but hide this behind... just the smile!
If you want to live in Thailand, try to live like a Thai and you will indeed find the inner peace.
I completely agree with you. Just do it and you won't be bothered. In any case, Tahis are much more tolerant than many foreigners. It's sometimes just rude the way foreigner dressed (? half naked) walk down the street. Great idea on your part to send it back on the first best plane. But in the clothes they wear in Thailand. !!
Speaking of annoying in traffic: I know a nice German in the area. However, he is annoyed in traffic and says there is nothing he can do about it. He is a very overweight person and then turns bright red. As a result, he quickly has problems with the Thais. They don't like it and once he made a Thai so angry that he threatened to shoot him! Not so healthy I guess.
"Be not too quick to be annoyed, for anger dwells in the bosom of fools." Ecclesiastes 7:9
Well, that's a whole laundry list of possible annoyances. Many of the annoyances mentioned are certainly real and will undoubtedly appear at regular intervals in the life of the average expat/immigrant.
My personal favorite annoyance is Thais with a microphone in their fists. Somehow the Thais have never understood that the microphone is an instrument that makes it possible to make yourself understood in a large space. in front of a large audience, without having to shout. Nice invention, I think.
Most Thais, on the other hand, are not entirely sure of the effect of such a microphone, and shout into such a thing as if their life depended on it, so that hearing and seeing perish.
Back to the laundry list. Some things make me think “huh?” With the uninterested shop staff, for example, I find shop staff very friendly and personable. (but I'm also a super nice guy, that makes a difference) 😉
I do not agree with it. I am someone who quickly gets annoyed by things, but nevertheless I am having a good time in Thailand. Maybe it's because it concerns some minor annoyances that I quickly forgot about. The most common in everyday life are:
– Excruciatingly slow walking. Especially disturbing in busy shopping malls, supermarkets and streets. Time seems to be of no value here
– The shameless pushing ahead in shops and in queues for public transport. Very indecent, in my eyes.
– Bad service, especially in restaurants and bars. The worst is asking for a tip or making it clear that the tip is considered too low.
Oh well, you can live with it, right?
Maarten, you admit that you are easily annoyed by things, but you know how to put that into perspective. I think that's the right attitude. Annoyance is a human emotion. As long as you don't keep silent about your annoyances, there's nothing wrong.
Traffic in Belgium….
from Antwerp to Brussels every day!
The roads are full of potholes because the winter was a bit harsh….
Autostrades are broken down by trucks….
We pay road tax!!
This week a 7-year-old boy with a life-threatening muscle disease can only survive with medication that costs 237000 euros, without reimbursement>>> this is in belgium, isn't it….
I think it's about something in the end!!
After reading the annoyances?????. I find out at point 9 that it is about Thailand (seasons), otherwise most points can be copied to Dutch standards, and if you already have a short fuse here, you should certainly not go to Thailand, because then you have a good life nowhere!!!!!!!!.
We have been lucky enough to have been able to spend the winter in Thailand for the past 3 months. Nevertheless, this is not worth repeating. In the tourist areas these days it has become expensive. 150 baht for a simple meal, comparable to our snack bar quality. In addition, you must constantly be on the lookout to ensure that you are not being scammed. Pay 10 times or not get the quality you require. Even the friendly people want to know what you earn behind your back. Banks charge you 4-5 euros for debit cards, national parks charge 10 times that, even the monks in the tiger temple charge 600 baht, where Thais can still enter for free before 12 noon.
I have been coming to Thailand for more than 15 years now, things have changed here but not improved. People want everything from you but there is little in return. What do the Thais think? That the country is really so fantastic? 26000 road deaths per year, tourist daughters being raped and the only way out is dad making a video clip to get justice. Shortly afterwards, a friend was beaten up again in Ao Nang and then attempted to rape his girlfriend.
How many tourists and winter visitors are actually killed in Thailand? And how big is that difference with Germany, for example? You've already named the rest yourself.
Even my wife is tired of the Thai antics every now and then. And she is
Thai.
All in all, we have therefore decided to visit Thailand only for family visits and perhaps a day at the beach. Then cross the big ditch and go touring around Australia. The price difference is not that big anymore. The quality and service in Australia is considerably better
I still eat TOP together with my wife for about 200 Baht 2 dishes. If you pay € 4 at the pin you are at the wrong bank. My bank (DKB) will refund all the debited money (150 Baht) upon my return. Many people have problems abroad because they make all the mistakes in their own country; speak, don't put the bills right.
john,
I'm afraid you're right.
we have been coming to thailand for 34 years and every year we feel less like it.
terrible country with sometimes nice sides.
we try to get the fun bits out of it.
If you have not learned to put things into perspective, you will encounter annoyances everywhere, not just in Thailand. Looking at yourself first and then at what the other person is doing helps prevent many annoyances.
An age-old saying goes: Improve the world start with yourself. That sounds a little more positive than the even older Biblical wisdom that Tino cited. So people with a short fuse, start with yourself then many annoyances will disappear.
Continue to discuss the issues that you think are not addressed better or more fairly, such as road safety or the gap between rich and poor. Instead of getting annoyed about it, think about how you can contribute to improvement in your own environment. That's my attitude.
I think I will enjoy staying in Thailand for a long time to come.
You will always have irritation.
Maybe a short fuse isn't even the reason. Often it is misunderstanding, stupidity or indeed just rude.
What is particularly irritating is simply continuing to drive when you cross the road. But the pedestrian has no rights. Boarding the bus or BTS. Pushing ahead is not only in Thailand. At Hua Lampong station, look at how many foreigners are stretched out across 4 chairs.
Or the noisy conversations of Dutch and Russians etc.
You can sometimes hear them on the other side. I once said something to 4 Dutch people that it is not very social to talk so loudly.
Everyone could enjoy. I was not thanked by the 4.
Short fuse or not. Just don't bother it too much.
Disinterested staff, just choose another shop or restaurant. Fortunately, you have this choice. Is the taxi driver driving like an idiot? Just report it and get out if he can't behave normally. Please note that the behavior discussed in the item occurs in all countries.
Poor internet connection/3G? read the Dutch complaints. Then it won't be too bad in Thailand.
And you do indeed become less stressed if you can look at this more easily.
Good luck to everyone who didn't get their suitcase from Schiphol.
Many of the things you mention sound familiar to me. They are completely anti-social in traffic, the police treat Farang like old dirt, and are so corrupt that you can't actually take them seriously, but unfortunately you sometimes have to, small example: I was waiting at a traffic light, but the front wheel of my motorcycle was over the white line, I get a ticket of 400 Bht, while 4 Thais are standing next to me without a helmet, and he apparently didn't see them.
There are many examples, but I don't want to go back to NL anyway, because the regulations don't make me good at all, 6 days on vacation there is more than enough for me.
Then why are you standing over the white line in the first place? Just stop for it as the law says, then you won't have a problem. I even ran a red light. I would pay 500 Baht. I gave him 150 Baht - immediately said I don't want a receipt and wished him a nice day. Long live corruption (for its own good.)
My husband got his Thai driving license for Motorcycle and Car. Stopped 1 time and was able to drive through. So if you stay in Thailand for a longer period of time, get papers. Also saves on entrances to national parks, etc
John you are absolutely right... wanting to deceive you seems to have become a national sport, I am Thai and live here with my Belgian husband and do not understand many on the blog... it seems as if they cannot handle the truth and we are the intolerant are just because we say the reality...does that mean you are intolerant?
The list can be easily supplemented with several annoyances such as the crowing sharks whose batteries never run out, and the stray dogs that make cycling impossible.
Recently also made a U-turn when my wife did not have to pay an entrance fee and I did with my daughter, what logic of this?
Never present anything to a Thai on a platter, because then you'll lose the entire platter, and then you'll be surprised.
Despite all this, I still hang around here and muck it up a bit.
Live and let live is my motto.
As far as traffic is concerned, I have the following advice: Make it a sport to drive as well as possible. Without judgement!
If you get pulled over, act like a Thai. Suddenly don't speak Thai, don't speak English but only Dutch and aim for every letter that comes on paper to take at least fifteen minutes.
Kind regards, Dr. Tim
Of course you also have to consider how much annoyance you incur when you stay in the Netherlands. That wide spread definitely adds up to a long list for me as well. The Dutch are wrathful jerks.
But of course: there is also something wrong here. In traffic I let a Thai drive me, so that I don't have to take on blame in a collision that is not my fault, and because I gave him driving lessons I don't run a red light and he doesn't pull left and right but only on the right. Incidentally, I have not yet experienced a collision, but it is clear that the chance of one is high. By public transport, only the big bus is eligible, certainly not the minibus (and in Bangkok certainly not private transport, nor the taxi, but only the skytrain).
Then I unpleasantly noticed the dirt on the street (that in a tropical country) and the burning of environmentally polluting fires.
Moreover: where I live (on Koh Chang) the main road is very difficult to avoid, but nowadays sound trucks are constantly passing it. This form of noise pollution is relatively new, but annoying indeed. Fortunately, I can go “off road” from home to beach and vice versa, and via the beach parallel to the main road I can get almost anywhere I want to be.
I only have superficial but extremely friendly contact with the Thais, except for a small select group. It is striking that you can have a chat with everyone here, as in the bus, but also with your neighbors. Indeed: with the (English) language it is sometimes make do. It's hard for me to get annoyed; if it really doesn't work then there is no man overboard. I don't need to converse on a scientific level; in NL, that level is also not an issue in day-to-day dealings. It is - here as well as there - almost always about 'small talk'. So that, for example, should not last an entire (pub) evening. (Besides, I never go to the pub; I'm a teetotaller).
Many Thai people on 'my' island (and I had that experience before in Pattaya) know my name here. They address me on the street while I often do not (recognise) them; think about that in the Netherlands. There you only speak to each other on the street if the other person is known to you, and then very often not, not at all, because he is another jerk (or you are -according to him- one).
And a sick faith? The only ones who bothered me here with their morbid faith (their belief in the unbelievable) were the two of a Christian couple from somewhere in Europe. What a Thai believes I have never heard of a Thai, let alone that they (like that couple) tried to flatten me.
And monks?
“And priests?” I ask. And do I need something from them? Or with them?
And the television? I didn't look at it in NL. That here or there is apparently lead to old iron. And I don't understand Thai. What I find striking is that the Dutch are annoyed by what is on TV, but continue to watch it. I have experienced that more in NL that people are attached to their own annoyance, the grouch.
No, just the meteorological as well as the human climate is much better here for me. I am here who I am, without any pressure (without especially peer pressure) on me. Without false accusations against me, incited around me, and so on, as it was in NL Fortunately, there with a few exceptions; I have already had friends of mine visit here in Thailand (and I keep in touch with them by hotmail). The Netherlands at a distance is no longer a problem thanks to the internet. It is better to have NL at a distance than Thailand. At least for me.
I agree with you completely. There are always people who think the Netherlands (any other country) is better?. It was invented for those people. It is ready on Survarnhabumi and is happy to take every farang back to his land of promise, usually the country where he started the journey.
As the president of Australia once said in a speech. He said: we are happy to help all people who want to return to their country of birth, because they say that everything was better there. A perfect statement!!
After almost 3 years of continuous travel in Thailand, any annoyances? Yes, but also a big if not bigger NO. Rule one, this is not the Netherlands nor Europe, it is not a matter of whether you are annoyed by what you take for granted. It is difficult because we (for convenience, Dutch) grew up in a certain way with images, norms and values that are completely unknown to a Thai. And that means that we have to throw off our Western glasses and pay particular attention to whether a Thai is annoyed. You will learn much more from that than just summing up that typical Western view of Thailand. Comfortable? no, certainly not always, but in the end you always have to weigh what weighs more heavily, your Dutch view of life in Thailand or how the average Thai lives in his environment.
With a somewhat looser view, it's not that bad, and most importantly, always look at it positively, otherwise you will fall into your own trap. Thailand is not the Netherlands.
If you have too short a fuse, you will also have problems in the Netherlands. Many Thais are better educated than in the Netherlands, but relatively less so. And corruption?. I enjoy participating in that.
So there are no Thais with a short fuse?
Do you and other posters on this forum who live in Thailand actually go out a lot?
The question is what to do if you as a foreigner in Thailand have a short fuse and not whether there are Thais who have a short fuse.
Of course we were raised differently with different norms and values than the Thais. Of course, I think it remains sky-high that the values and standards that we have learned are valuable and useful all over the world. Like being there ; respect for the animals, nature, politeness in dealing, etc… etc… When I live here I try to adapt to the common way of life and respect the society here. But continue to have a hard time, for example, the way the Thais treat animals or leave plastic lying around everywhere (terrible), or the urbanization chaos of building streets and roads and building them to capacity, or when entering a building, the door is guaranteed to be thrown in your face. or passing by in a queue with people waiting with the necessary noise or being terrorized in traffic by mopeds left, right, in the middle, they whiz past or even in the opposite direction on the left in the breakdown or lane of mopeds and often without lights in the evening or etc… etc…I am very happy here but remain critical of not doing anything about it and making comments. I will never become indifferent to the situations and experiences that you are regularly confronted with in my new country where I now live.
Hello everyone on this section.
When I read all this, then I think it should also be possible to make a list of annoyances in your own country.
The Netherlands annoyance nr: 1 dog poop.!!!! and the terrible changing climate.
Grab culture, give with the left hand and take back double with the right hand. Cutting pensions and increasing costs with the accompanying excuses. The worst part is that we ourselves choose the figures with the electoral system that do this to us. Have the people asked to become EEC? And many more.
These annoyances decide to shift your horizon to better conditions where the most important thing is of course for each individual
good climate of Thailand and especially in the north of Chiang Mai similar to Bandung in Indonesia where I was born in that country and was educated until I was 12 years old. Is a point for natural because Indonesia has the same habits as Thailand and Asia.
The next point is “two different beliefs on one pillow, the devil is in between”. No matter how attractive Thai women may be, they are asking for trouble, including murder scams, etc.
The section in the Thailand Blog doesn't lie, which I really appreciate about this blog that it also mentions negative news.
Moderator: please refrain from comparisons with other countries. It's about Thailand on this blog.