Thai women: beware of farangs! Don't buy a pig in a poke!
What advice do Thai women get if they want to deal with a farang man? How can they avoid disappointment? The 'practical guide to distinguishing frogs from princes' gives useful tips. The book recently fell from Tino's bookcase.
Seducing a Thai woman is easy, but many women are disappointed
The book, 'สาวไทยระวัง!ฝรั่ง,( aka saaw thai rawang! farang), Thai girls beware farang man' was written by Toby Brittan and published by Nation Books, Bangkok, 2007. of this book came after many conversations with Thai women. He noticed that seducing a Thai woman was 'as easy as peeling a banana', but that many women were disappointed.
His intention is certainly not to pillory all men, he made mistakes himself, but to ensure that the interaction between people of these two cultures goes well for both parties. And especially to give women a handle on how to be wary and not fall into all kinds of pitfalls.
The woman tends to compromise too much; that is ultimately fatal
In the first chapters he says that foreign men are not necessarily better than Thai men and that they are not always rich. He explains that foreign men are in Thailand seeing them surrounded by beautiful young women which flatters their vanity and makes them feel in control of their relationship with a Thai woman. "Do what I say because I can get another one." The woman also fears this and she then tends to compromise too much, which is ultimately fatal.
The writer also divides the farang men into about six categories, depending on age, income, length of stay in Thailand, knowledge of the Thai language and their nightlife. To give you an idea: men from 50 to death (it literally says) with a slightly above-average income, who have lived in Thailand for more than 10 years are the safest (that's a relief); low-income men of all ages, who can only say "beer Singh and bear Chang" and stay here for a few weeks, are the most dangerous.
Advice to Thai women in dealing with farangs
- Keep your self-esteem and love for yourself.
- Don't think you have to change yourself to be with someone else.
- Let him try to seduce you.
- It's better if you don't run after a farang.
- Calmly watch the cat from the tree.
- Don't go into it just because you think you can get something done from him.
- For now, just continue your life as you used to.
- Don't get caught up in him.
- Lead your own life too.
- Don't give him all your time.
- Be honest in what you say but leave something to the imagination.
- Don't talk about the future.
- Decide for yourself how often you want to meet him.
- Do not respond to urgent requests if you are not behind it yourself.
- Become a part of his life too.
- Don't cut yourself off from life outside of him.
What does the summary of the book say?
I quote a few passages from the summary.
'I really don't understand why you Thai women think that farang men are less prone to cheating…. they have more opportunity to do so here than in their own country…. and don't think that you prevent that by showing off and giving in to them in everything… the farang then thinks he has power over you…'
“But you also have power…. by not giving in right away and waiting to see if he is really interested in you and not looking directly at other women… he needs to win your heart…. and you mustn't think 'let's take it'.'
"Don't get a farang just because it's a farang… don't fall for it if he doesn't make you feel important in his life…"
"Let him struggle... if he really wants you he'll have to put in the effort and prove himself... and that's how you'll find out if he really loves you."
"Be strict, even with yourself… it is better to miss an opportunity than to fall into a trap…"
'I believe in love and dreams… but at the same time pay attention to the little things… does he take care of you when you're sick, does he support you when you're down, does he listen to you when you're worrying or complaining? '.. a flower or a romantic dinner... do you feel understood and valued? that's what it's about…..'
'Let me warn you again… watch out!, farang!…. there are too many farangs in Thailand looking for easy prey… while you are looking for the one and only… if you want him to really love you, love yourself first…. and then perhaps he will come to love you too and regard you as the only light in his life.'
Amen, I almost added.
– Reposted message –
Well, I doubt whether all those advices about finding the right partner/farang are all that effective.
Also in the western world advice is given, albeit usually not a mixed marriage, from which almost every 2nd marriage ends up later.
Even specialists who have studied to save the very marriages where things don't go according to plan often fail in their task.
A farang who starts a relationship with a Thai would first do well not to adjust himself, and especially not try to make up for his often greater age difference with all kinds of financial promises, which he may not be able to keep later.
Clear wine about your financial and other possessions, immediately mention in these conversations, that if you want to live with her in Europe, that this cannot be compared to Thailand in terms of costs.
You can also become just as clear when it comes to the support of her family, and what she expects in this.
I personally do not like fixed monthly amounts, which the recipient will calculate with, and the giver may not be able to fulfill them in the long run.
When we are in Thailand, we look at where it is lacking, and then give it exactly where it is needed.
Someone who only has party and whiskey in his head simply falls through the cracks with our help, because if I lived like this myself, no one could help at all.
No one comes to us begging or complaining all the time, because we only see if we can do it ourselves, and someone really needs it.
We so many may wonder, have a joint bank account, discuss all major expenses together, and have never had such a frugal wife.
So to put it a bit qru, I immediately looked with miffy's head, and asked her if she can live with this too, and we have been doing this very happily in our own way for more than 20 years now.555
Well, I think there is a lot of truth in this article.
Unfortunately, many Thai women 'think' that they have won the Lotto if they have a white nose on the hook. However, many Farang are ordinary beer drinkers who come here to seek their luck. If they can still seduce a young beautiful lady, then the picture is complete.
My wife has a girlfriend who is married to a bad foreigner. She was promised all kinds of things, but once married it turned out that those promises were big lies. For the woman in question, it is more survival than living. The monthly income is invariably rushed through, not to mention the nightly hours when her husband comes home drunk. That woman has already thought about a divorce several times.
Such men are also usually divorced in their home country due to their misconduct. Unfortunately, you cannot change their character. It is distressing that they then continue their escapades here in Thailand, much to the despair of their wives.
Fortunately, there are also a lot of Farang who DO be a good family man. They build a new life here, take good care of their lady and have a perfect relationship together.
And let's face it… just as some Farang cannot be trusted, we should always be on our guard when looking for a Thai wife. There are plenty of stories of foreigners returning to their homeland penniless…
Every medal has a flip side!
I thought Khon Kean is now a course for Thai women who are in a relationship with a foreigner and are considering taking him abroad. Apparently it fills a need.
https://coconuts.co/bangkok/lifestyle/farang-fiance-course-teaches-thai-women-married-foreigners-expect-abroad/
Doesn't the Dutch government also have a civic integration course that can be successfully completed before you are allowed to come to the Netherlands?
That course in Khon Kaen has nothing to do with that. If you haven't followed…
How simple can it be or actually how sad it is?
A booklet that will earn the publisher and writer how someone who is a bit unsure how to deal with someone from a completely different culture.
Sad to want to make money over people like this.
If such a book falls from the shelf, then there is a reason and it must be burned immediately. Misleading people is so wrong but many enjoy it because they themselves have not managed to survive in Thai.