The dark side of some Thai
In Thai culture, strange things are locked up for us. Difficult to understand and understand. Sometimes the outward appearance is at odds with how the Thai really are put together. When I am confronted with that, I think again: 'nothing is what it seems in Thailand'.
Thai people are extremely polite and friendly. In order not to let anyone lose face in public, no criticism is expressed.
With many detours, a Thai makes it clear what the problem is. These manners require a lot of patience and self-control. A Thai thinks that is very important. Losing your temper and yelling is a gross insult to a Thai.
Emotions
You could say that Thai always have to hold back in everyday life. Showing emotions is not common practice. To get some steam off the kettle, Thai people mainly use humor for this. After all, laughing a lot ensures relaxation.
Another outlet is booze and drugs. A problem of enormous magnitude in Thailand. Through these means, inhibitions are removed and pent-up emotions come to the surface. Thais turn out to be very violent. Not unlike in the west, by the way, where most acts of violence are also committed under the influence of drugs (alcohol and other substances).
Violence
Not only alcohol or drugs cause aggression, even if a boundary is crossed, friendliness and self-control can turn into an orgy of violence. Notorious are the fights with Thai among themselves or against farang. If you ever get into a fight with Thai in a bar or on the street, be careful and don't let it escalate. You always lose in the end.
In addition, Thai fight viciously, perhaps because they are physically inferior. When a foreigner is involved, they always stick up for each other. You will soon be faced with a force majeure of Thai who do not shy away from putting you in the hospital. Kicking someone lying on the ground with a man or five is the rule rather than the exception. Don't expect compassion from the otherwise friendly Thai.
In addition, they are extremely vengeful. Should you come out victorious, don't think a Thai will accept losing. Loss is also loss of face and that is a humiliation that many Thais do not want to bear. Make sure you pack your bags quickly and leave for somewhere else. In the worst case you will be met somewhere by a group of Thai or the loser will return with a knife or gun.
In short, avoid problems. Avoid discussions and confrontations with Thai people, especially when they are drunk. Be nice and walk away. After all, a warned person counts for two.
Maybe I'm Thai! I also think it is very important to express criticism in a friendly and controlled manner. I don't like yelling and cursing either.
The Thais do express criticism of each other, but indeed more concealed. We foreigners often get the wrong impression of this, firstly because we do not (sufficiently) understand the language and secondly because everyone (including us) behaves differently towards foreigners, more distant and less open.
Showing emotions would not be common practice among Thais? How do you come up with that! Apart from the fact that body language reflects 50% of all emotions, I have heard a lot of disapproval, approval, happiness, sadness, love, fear, disgust and so much more in conversations, even without alcohol or drugs. Clear and direct criticism indeed less so for reasons I mentioned above.
Criticism delivered to a Thai in a friendly and collected manner, with a smile, almost never leads to problems. So: 'Sorry, I don't like what you just did', an I-message, almost always works. A you-box 'You're a dirty, nasty guy' doesn't sit well with me either.
I have criticized Thais, taxi drivers, plumbers and doctors quite a bit and it was never a problem.
I also sometimes shoot out of my slippers. A few years ago we stopped at a beautiful resting place high in the mountains at Phayao between Chiang Mai and Chiang Kham. I got into a conversation with two men drinking from a beer bottle. After the last sip, they threw the bottles in the grass while there was a large garbage can 3 meters away! I said, 'What would the king say if he sees you throwing those bottles away just like that!' Oops, that eludes me. Bring in the king! That just can not be! But the men picked up the bottles, tossed them in the bin and sheepishly slunk off without saying hello. I am still alive.
Many TV series give the same picture.
Remarkable things can be observed.
When smoking is taking place, the image around the cigarette is blurred, while the gun remains clearly visible.
Handcuffs in reality are sometimes covered with a cloth so that it cannot be seen, but not in the play.
Sometimes a suspect wearing a helmet is made less recognizable; at other times he must clearly show how something happened.
An illogical confusion of events.
Expressing your disappointment in the I-form in a controlled way seems to me to be the best way everywhere. “I think the bill is wrong” vs “You scammer, that bill is wrong!”. Whether in the Netherlands or Thailand. I like to believe that the Dutch are a bit more direct than the Thai. Depending on the situation and wording, sometimes one is sometimes the other the 'better' way. That the Thai always choose the Thai is of course nonsense. In the pieces about a group of Thai people who beat someone up, it often concerns people under the influence, the accidental witnesses tend to keep aloof (in Thailand and the Netherlands as well) so I have the idea. Also read often enough that 'the Thai' sided with the foreigner in a conflict if it had not yet ended in a fight. If it does come to a fight, then I think that in the Netherlands the spontaneous drunk co-fighters also opt for their 'own' people instead of the foreigner. In short, I have the idea that it really is not a world of difference, but generalized, certainly accent differences.
Note to self: never make a big deal with Tino, otherwise he will come and kick me with a group of elderly people. 😉
Moderator: Only texts that the moderator can read please.
I don't know if you know the Thai, but Thai often choose each other and don't fight fair. beating up 5 person with 1 men.
Stated in the national anthem: “Together we are strong!”
'The Thai' does not exist. And I believe that in the nightlife the drunken Thai (group of men) or fellow seedy figures who seek out the conflict choose sides for their 'own' people. Just as I think that if it is matting in Amsterdam, the Dutchman who will join the mating will rather choose 'own' without asking any questions. But in a conflict in a normal situation (argument over a bill or a collision)? Do the accidental bystanders in Thailand actually opt remarkably more often to beat up the stranger with a group? My gut says that the Thai really would not apply remarkably more aggressive senseless violence than the Dutchman. But who knows, someone might have a study available so we don't have to stick to speculation. Then I am happy to adjust my vision, I love hard figures so I would also like to see them in this subject. After all, our (my) gut can be quite wrong. Does anyone in the room have numbers?
Dear Rob,
I myself am certainly protected by my fellow villagers and the many people who
I know.
What you say is correct and is it not the case that you do not get help from other Thai people.
If you are a stranger and people do not know you, it will be difficult.
Yours faithfully,
Erwin
Apparently people settle in a country where it is difficult to understand the natives. Books are read as if they were manuals on how to deal with these strange people, whose behavior can hardly be predicted. Yet we marry a Thai. do we actually understand it, with or without instructions?
If you need a manual to enter into a (love, friends, ...) relationship, then you have a difficult or problematic life. The Thai are really not from another planet. A second of rest, a step back to observe something or simply realize that all people have the same basic needs and emotions and then you should be able to get through the situations. In short, apply healthy human/farmers common sense and it should work.
What often happens is that we immediately see a certain experience with Thai people as representative of the entire population. I once remember an event in a gym. Apparently a Thai man thought I was too long with a certain device. When I stood up, he suddenly took my place behind the device, angrily and without saying anything. In the Netherlands such a person would inquire: How long have you been working with this device? My first inclination, I admit, was to draw conclusions about Thai culture as a whole. My conclusion: Here the norms and values differ from ours. While this may just be an action by an individual and other Thais might also disapprove of this. One quickly draws conclusions based on a one-off experience. The section above also generalizes enormously. “Thai are vengeful” I know a lot who aren't. It is not even the case that every Thai person is always polite and friendly. All generalizations. In this way one tries to get a grip on what one does not understand. Labels are pasted.
A person cannot live without labels, however. Most of them, however, we are not even aware of. If we kept all options open for every situation we face every day we would all go crazy. So platitudes, generalizations are needed to make our daily lives bearable. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be aware that the everyday world can't be any different. And that you have to react differently.
Good studies and good statistics support these generalizations. And sometimes the world turns out to be different. An example: many expats think that it rains more in the Netherlands and Belgium than in Thailand. That is not true. It rains fewer days a year in Thailand, but there is more rain on an annual basis than in the home country. And so there are still a few topics to think of….
As an old tramp sailor I have sailed with, it feels like, practically all nationalities. 13 nationalities on a ship less than a hundred meters long. You had to work together, eat and communicate. Even had ships with 3 different nationalities sleeping in 1 cabin. Me a Dutchman, then a Cabo Verde and a Japanese. Everyone has the same problems and thoughts that you talk about with each other. Only the cultures differ is not a problem. So I don't fall for the fact that Thais are different. They are ordinary people like you and me with practically the same thoughts and problems. I have said.
Amen!
สาธุ saฟthoe (tones: ascending, high) say the Buddhists