Reader question: What is the usual pocket money for my Thai girlfriend?

Children know the trick: You say that your friends get more pocket money to blackmail your parents. My mom didn't fall for it. He said: So, have you looked in their wallets?
How much pocket money should you give your girlfriend? Just as much as you can spare. Don't argue about it. That's it. End of discussion.

Also once had a girlfriend / wife from Thailand. Built a house bought a car gave 20000 bht pocket money paid all fixed costs. But no, it was never enough for the lady. Then there came a moment when I thought why are you with me now. For her status with friends? For her status with family? I finally came to the conclusion that she was not with me for love but for status.

Moderator: please only respond to the reader's question.

My wife has access to my debit card and I get pocket money.

I have been living with my Thai partner for 6 years, paying all fixed costs, health insurance, travel insurance, all living expenses, clothes, travel, everything.
I also give 10.000 baht pocket money, of which 2000 baht goes to his parents, 2000 baht in his wallet, and 6000 baht he puts in his bank every month, sometimes less if he has more expenses, such as a birthday present for me. I pay for his friends.
We live in Pattaya which is a lot more expensive than in the north.
And his allowance is more than sufficient. We never argue about money. He never complains, he works part-time for a low salary, which is a perk for him.
Your 12.000 baht a month is more than enough, otherwise she will just look for a job…

The normal wage is about 9000 baht per month. That has a waitress, saleswoman. The normal professions. There are professions for less per month. If she doesn't work and gets 12.000 baht a month, madam can't complain. But yes, it is ………..never enough. Beware of exploitation. The neighbor's grass is always greener. Be consistent. Whatever their culture, with all due respect, you are not an ATM machine, or the general manager of Bangkok Airways. Courage.

Koos, I pay her 10.000 Baht a month, which goes to her parents. When she is here in the Netherlands she gets nothing else, if she does a small job for me I give her 10 € P u. When she is in Thailand she gets 10.000 baht pocket money per month

Koge

Moderator: Just a response to the reader's question please.

Moderator: Just a response to the reader's question please.

Fortunately, there are also Thai women who are too proud to ask for money.
My Thai partner has received a prepaid credit card from me after a relationship of 1 year,
with a starting amount of 100000 bath. Now another year has passed and there is no bath from the card.
She knows very well that we have to save to realize our Thai dreams. Only if we both work hard will they succeed and she knows it. Neither of us were born rich, they were born in poverty with simple luck.
But by working hard together and not doing crazy things we will get there.
A good heart is more important than money in the account! (my friend's statement)

I also give 10.000 a month, and she is very happy with it.
She also supplements it with work, nothing wrong with that.

My girlfriend (now wife) has visited the Netherlands and therefore knows what my costs are here.
She is also looking forward to living here, and understands that all this will also cost a pretty penny.

she is happy with what she has!
OK, she also listens to the stories of other Thai ladies, but she doesn't care about this and then says that real love cannot be paid for, not on either side.

then many ladies drip off again!

A more nuanced note: In Thai culture, children are responsible for their parents' pensions. That responsibility weighs heavily on the, usually small, shoulders of the girls. It controls their lives; they know that their parents will die of starvation if they don't give money. (This especially applies to the poverty-stricken families in Isaan) If you take such a girl as your girlfriend as a farang, you don't just take the lusts (a good cook, a massage every day, someone who wants to take care of you and a, usually, nice bed buddy) but also the burden (care for her family).
I never hear anyone complain about that except Dutch men! We are known for our stinginess. And yes, there are of course many girls who are only interested in cheating men out of as much money as possible, but if that is the case with you, you should ask yourself whether you have made such a wise choice! There are plenty of sweet and dedicated girls.
Money is very important to my girlfriend because in the past they often did not have enough money as a family to even buy rice: a tough childhood trauma that you can only/must understand.
I used to give her 50.000 baht a month and she still thanks me for that every day.
At one point I couldn't do that anymore because I lost my job.
I didn't even have money to pay the rent. Without another word (let alone a complaint)
she started working on making dirt and that allowed us to bridge the 2 lean years.
Fortunately, the situation has improved and I have enough money for both of us again. In short: YES, money is very important, but if you make a good choice you also get a lot of love and attention in return.
But then stay far away from the money sharks who are indeed many. Stupid if you choose a shark like that.
So look at yourself first and understand the culture,

In my opinion, more than enough!
When you consider that there are many who have to work for much less money in the month!

12000 Baht is actually too much. You give her more than someone who goes to work in the North. The more you give, the more your relationship is based on money. Then you start to doubt more and more whether your partner stays with you for the convenience of the money or for you.

I have been married to an Asian woman for 24 years. About 10 months into our marriage, my wife asked for a gold chain, as her friend had bought one too. I explained that this was not an appropriate time as we were looking to buy a house. Three weeks later she heard that her friend (with a gold chain) had no money to buy milk powder for her baby.

Since then, she has never asked for a gold chain again. Our house is paid off, we have savings, we travel at least once a year, our daughter can study, and we both have a car out of necessity. She is proud that we have made it this far, although I still keep quite a tight rein. She realizes that we are looking forward to a good old age, if our health allows us to do so. A number of her friends are still struggling financially.

Asians live in the moment. We often live with a vision of the future. They live happier in the present. We are more reserved. They count on family and friends to support them when times get tough financially.

Your partner will have to make a choice.
And then you will know if it is a suitable partner.

Success and strength.
I hope you manage to make her understand.

Moderator: Just a response to the reader's question please.

hey honestly I don't understand that, the question is do you have a girlfriend out of mutual love, or do you pay a working woman??
I feel the same way as Chris above, I have been living together for 5 years and don't give anything, we share most of it except house rent and electricity and so on..
both are going to work for our lives

how many Thai women give pocket money to their farang love?? I will then stop working, hire 12.000 and complain that it is too little.

Look at it from the point of view of the Thai partner. You may also wonder what the partner does with the money. If she gives 12.000 THB of the 9.000 THB to her retired parents, she will only have 3.000 THB left for herself. The fact that Thais take care of their parents, or the family, is so ingrained in the culture. Furthermore, knowing that a farang is involved, the family will try to recover the costs of illness, broken scooter, urgent repairs to a house, etc. from your Thai partner. Whether you should take this for granted is another matter. But that is a burden on your Thai partner, who may not like that at all.
If there is someone in a Thai family who earns a lot of money, they will always be the first to be approached to solve this in the event of unexpected costs or problems.
Guess the trick is to find out what happens to the pocket money. Does it go to family, is it gambled on, is it saved, … Have an honest conversation about the matter. From that point of view, you can decide for yourself whether you give enough, too little or too much.
Furthermore, my opinion is that when someone never has enough, there is a problem. Then you need to discuss that.

Depends if it works or not. My girlfriend has her own shop in BKK and works 6 days a week. She earns an average of 30.000 baht with that. After deducting her rent (room, shop and living expenses, etc.) she has about 10.000 net left. I make a standard monthly transfer of 5000 (approximately the rent of her room energy and water). So she has 15000 to spend on things outside of food and rent. And she manages to easily put aside 8.000 to 10.000 because she has little free time. If she wants a weekend off, I'll transfer a little extra. Or recently when her TV broke I paid half. I think that 12.000 is not too much, but certainly not (too) little. Importantly she just goes to work and I suspect she doesn't and then you spend more. And if she will look around, others will have a much harder time.