Dear people,
I have a Thai girlfriend of 24 years (I am 23 years old) she lives in Phuket. I met her through Facebook. We got talking and we have been in contact for 2 months now and it is a nice contact. We've never met in real life; we do talk via skype every evening. She showed me the whole family on Skype.
We got into a love affair via Skype, not really usual, but well she says she loves me every night. And she would like me to come to Thailand for a vacation and we will meet. My whole family is against this. What should I do and how should I explain to my family that not all Thai girls are bad? And that I really want to go for it, for the relationship. She has never asked me for money and she doesn't want to, because she says she can work for money herself.
I hope you can help me with this! Sorry for the unclear email without periods and commas (added by the editor). I hope to get a lot of information from you.
I have already scoured the internet, but I would still like to get a response and information from an expert in this area, thank you in advance!!
Yours faithfully,
Gerard
Do what your heart tells you.
Would you like to say that ladies from areas ala Phuket are usually not looking for a falang for nothing. And you can bet that the demand for money will raise its head at some point.
Furthermore, you are 24 years old, I do not know how you are doing financially, but with these kinds of relationships there is also quite a bit of money if you want to work on a future. Think about whether you move to TH or they move to NL. Airline tickets, visas, integration courses, etc.
Thai ladies who say they love you, they are cute but don't take their sweet dark eyes for granted. She probably likes you, but there's more to it than to love. A Thai lady first looks at how you are put together, whether you are able to take care of her and then she thinks about love.
Furthermore, you should not be surprised if she has several irons in the fire, so to speak. Many girls do that here, not only among the falang but also among the Thai. In that respect they are just business, if it doesn't work out with 1 they go with the other. Or for financial reasons. Just because steps etc are expensive anyway, so if they want to go out they look for a guy who pays the bill.
You can always take a vacation. If you go and she disappoints you will still have a good time.
So they look just like Dutch women, only the packaging is usually more pleasant.
But yes, since you are 24 years old you could make your own decisions and ignore the opinion of your family / acquaintances.
It's almost the same as with your girl next door, you can be lucky or unlucky.
But one thing is for sure, if you don't try you may always regret it. So just follow your heart.
Just keep us informed.
With greeting
Cor Verkerk
Hi Gerrald
I live in phuket and know that the girls are almost all on the internet thai love links, etc
But as soon as they can read and write English, they usually have spent time in the bar
Very few learn English anywhere but in the bar
Because you will hardly find the ladies who have studied in pattaya / phuket
These girls usually come there for the easy money
Some have multiple sponsors and are doing well financially
That does not mean that those girls are bad, they are just doing a good job
If you say you don't have much money, but if she loves you so much she can pay half then you can come to phuket
And where does she live in phuket that says something, and where does she work
What time do you chat because that also says something, if you take into account the time difference
Then you know that working during the day and chatting at night is not right
But you never know maybe you won the lottery
You will need good luck
Greetings Rob
Sorry but I don't really understand the whole problem. You are 23 years old and an adult and I can assume that you can make your own decision. It is and remains always difficult to find out whether the lady in question has honest intentions and there is only one way to find out and that is to go there to get to know each other.
Just book a nice hotel and if you don't trust her, make it a nice holiday! You really have to learn to take the negative reactions into the bargain since (almost) everyone has been affected by it in the beginning, because this is the standard prejudice of the majority. Your family probably means well but again make your own decision you are 23 years old!
It's sweet that she says she loves you, but that seems a bit opportune to me. Go on vacation to Phuket once, then you can meet her. Follow your heart or you will regret sooner or later.
And then when you go to Phuket on vacation, let her know you will be arriving on a certain date… and then come a few days early.
Surprise!
And the advice not to follow your heart too much, but to take an emotional step back every now and then so that you can look at things completely detached, I would do very well.
Actually, it is recommended to view the relationship as most Thai women do…..
Always handy: create a fake account via email or Facebook and see how she responds to that 'person'. You wouldn't be the first to find that the first ten emails are exactly the same in terms of content. (Moral: try to weed out the fakes...yes, not all Thai ladies are bad...but you'll just find the bad ones who can act better than you can spy)
Indeed Khan Peter. And Gerrald, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
No one is stopping you, and you learn from your mistakes.
Look at the cat looking out of the tree. Love is blind, but you are young enough to follow your dream.
And when it turns into a disappointment at worst, make it another nice vacation.
But dear Gerrald, warning, this can hit hard. Contacts via social network sites are usually fake. Not that the person in question doesn't exist. But you get along well; that's how you found each other. My hope is that you meet in real life, don't fall in love too much, and then you will notice that the appearance on the profile does not match the real-time encounter. You do projection and one actor confirms his expectations to the other.
Enough said, good luck, and keep your feet on the ground.
Follow your heart… and take your mind with you.
You can also make a mistake with the native ladies from here….
Also read about the customs, family values… which can differ whether they come from the North – Central or South of Thailand.
Of course money plays a role…..but it is no less in our Western culture.
It will certainly be an experience!
Moderator: Your comment is too generalizing and therefore hurtful to other readers.
Dear Gerrald, you say you have a love affair with a Thai girl of 24 years old, whom you know through Face book and Skype. I think you're exaggerating a bit. Maybe you should just say that you met someone through the internet. Comes closer to reality than running fast. Perhaps your family is also having the most trouble with this.
You also say that it is not easy for you to explain to your family that not all Thai girls are bad. Is that so? Are Thai girls bad?, And a few aren't? And did you happen to get one of those good ones?
Take a few steps back and sort things out. Can't be much of an effort since you've only known each other for two months. What is it about? To a girl of 24 years old, living on Phuket in Thailand. Nice. Contrary to the wrong expectation, she does not ask you for money, but works for it herself. Beautiful. Don't do more than usual, right? Good. You skype every night, and she says she loves you. Fantastic. What else should she say? And further? Does she speak English? And you? Do you speak English? Can you make it clear to each other what you want from each other? Why you want a girlfriend over the internet, all the way in Thailand, and what she wants from you?
Also: what do you know about Thailand? From the backgrounds that girls and women seek farang in all sorts of ways? Is that what your family is concerned about? And what do you mean already to Thailand after 2 months? Do you already know her that well? You say: “that I really want to go for it, for the relationship”, but you don't have that, do you?
In short: I would wait a while before traveling to Thailand with a hotel debotel. Try to get to know each other a little better first. Talk about all sorts of things that should perpetuate a friendship relationship, who you are, what you do, what expectations you have, how to resolve that distant distance between you, and don't just be guided by a feeling of bliss. Don't just tell each other that you love each other, because that has yet to be proven. Read about the country, the people and their culture. Start thinking about what you want with that friendship. Are you going to find out which hurdles you have to take to be able to be in Thailand for a longer period of time, and they will be in the Netherlands for a longer period of time. Just go on vacation to Thailand in a while, meet her, and don't make such a fuss about it. You don't have to drag your whole family into it anyway. You are dead 23 years old and think you can look beyond the border. Use your brain, and just take it easy for once, and don't whip yourself up. She doesn't run away, and if she does: another lesson learned!
So: you wanted an expert answer to your question? Well, with this one!
Hi Gerrald.
You only know good or bad when you get to know each other better. Skype, Facebook and phone od are limited in really conveying emotions. So I would just book a holiday to Thailand with an open mind and experience things together with your Skype girlfriend. However, that open mind is important. Enjoy the country and each other and take those experiences with you when you return to the Netherlands. If you still have a good feeling after that time, you can consider bringing her to the Netherlands with a tourist visa for a holiday here. Family in the Netherlands is of course important, but you are an adult and responsible for your own decisions and the consequences thereof. Listening to well-meant advice from your family and from the writer on this forum is fine, but ultimately it's up to you to decide what to do. Good luck and have fun.
Gerald,
First ask yourself how your family will react to a Dutch girl. You can test this very simply by saying that you are madly in love with a nice girl but that you are afraid that it will not become a long-term relationship. why do you and your family ask; well she has had quite a few boyfriends and none of them could afford the presents she always wanted. BANG and now your family is going to try something different, don't do it blah blah blah
the moral of the story; prejudices are made easy, people lack knowledge and experience.
You are young and still have to become worldly wise through trial and error and you can only do that by standing up to your family and going your own way.
test your girlfriend by agreeing to go to her family as soon as you arrive in bangkok and to phuket after a week. If she starts to object, there is a good chance that she is living a second life with perhaps a family and actually only wants to use you as a running ATM machine.
Again you can only experience it by following your heart. No money no honey and its up to you are slogans with different explanations. Come up with a plan B if things go wrong so you can leave when you want.
Life is always making choices and that includes wrong choices, better to regret a wrong choice than to regret not having made a choice.
I read in a number of reactions that people think 2 months is short notice. Why? I met my current (thai) wife in Thailand (that is) in IT square. She then helped the seller and me with the choice of a laptop with English windows and office. Invite her to eat together in the food court.
It's been over a year now and we're still together.
Now live in the Netherlands. I work, she works. Her family is not without means so money for her parents is not asked. My wife is from the south of Thailand (Nakhon Si Thammarat province) and I know and notice that there is a very, very big difference between someone from the Isaan and someone from the south.
Seems logical to me when you consider the distance. (Approximately Amsterdam Rome If not more).
I would just try to find out where she grew up, what she does for work, try to see (visit) her family just like you do with a Dutch and/or wrong where from.
Build a relationship and see how it goes (or it doesn't work) When you feel bad, don't think too long about it, it's sad because if this comes into play, the reason is gone.
So in short just look her up, What is now a 1000 to 1500 Euro to gain a life experience and find a possibly good woman.
Just go on vacation and get to know her right away. Then you might find out what you want. I'm going to thailand in two months if you want a guide Don't hesitate to email me. Just do success.
I can give you a note that this is doomed to fail.
She is/works in Phuket for a reason and she is online for a reason.
I understand your feelings but ultimately they want money and you will find out by trial and error.
On a vacation in Thailand, try to get to know a girl who has a good education.
This is all a bit short-sighted, but often the reality.
So don't do it or at least watch the cat out of the tree because you garden in it with open eyes 🙂
The whole family in the broadest sense wants to benefit, even if you take her to the Netherlands.
It can be different, my son is married to a teacher, has been living in Thailand for 8 years and does not work, he is a house husband and takes care of their child and the garden. He studies Buddhism and together they spend a lot of time in the temple.
They have a relationship where money plays no role at all.
Success.
It is doomed to fail! Taking advantage? Whole family wants to benefit? I think it's great that you can predict everything! It can also be done differently, see my son writes to you ...... Wow what a lucky cock your son is!!! With a girl you don't know it's all about money and with your son you end up with it it's not about money at all!
Shouldn't it be a bit more nuanced if you don't know someone, warning is 1, already condemning someone while they don't know the person is 2. Really ridiculous some reactions!!!
Very contradictory to say so firmly that this is doomed to fail by proclaiming a little later that things can be done differently. Indeed, it can also be different, nice for your son, but why shouldn't this also apply to Gerrald, I know several who got to know each other online and have a harmonious relationship.
Moreover, the fact that she works in Phuket does not have to be the indicator, tourist places simply attract job seekers and that does not have to be exclusively as a barlady or half-naked dancing on a silver pole. Many women don't want to think about earning their rice in this way, they are disgusted just to smear a complete stranger farang with oil and then bring him to a 'happy end'.
As other bloggers have stated. In any case, let Gerrald go there to get acquainted physically and then draw his conclusions there in due course.
Incidentally, personally it seems to me terribly boring to be a househusband, also to study Buddhism and to spend a lot of time together in the temple.
I would like to take care of my child, but I'll let gardening do that!
Hello Gerald,
Just go for it and try to visit Thailand once, if she really loves you she will understand that you are asking her for 350 euros.
This is about half of your ticket, you can still pay for the hotel, but you really want to meet her, and you have the last euro for that, right? look at the reaction.
Are you lucky, she who earns money understands this request, but it can turn out differently.
Entering into a relationship via facebook etc. is / can be fun, but pay attention to the "small print"
There is no harm in trying, after all, you always learn, especially at your age, and a holiday is never gone.
Your parents will probably agree in this way, but if Thaipop cannot / will not send money, you know enough.
Good luck and let us know the outcome, educational for everyone, positive/negative depending on the outcome.
Enjoy it during a holiday, see what the mother looks like and realize that when you are 50 you can also get a Thai girlfriend of 24.
(And the most beautiful women can be found in Bangkok!)
Hello Gerald,
I met my Thai girlfriend 4 years ago through Thailovelinks dating site, she lived and worked in Pattaya in 2 hotels at the tour and limo counter.
We chatted daily for 3 months before I took the plunge and went to see her (she didn't dare to come to me). She has been living with me in Amsterdam for almost 3 years now and we are getting married in Thailand in September. What I want to make clear is that it is possible, but I do agree with some comments to double check through a fake account or pretend that you don't have much money to test her responses. And for the rest, give yourself a nice holiday, otherwise go with 2 more friends, if it doesn't work, you will probably still have a nice educational experience. Good luck !
Ask her if she will pay part of your travel expenses if she loves you so much.
I'm sure she can but won't so you may wonder how much she cares about you.
If that doesn't bother you, you can finance it all yourself and make yourself a nice time without further obligations.
Your family has nothing to do with this.
success!!
Dear Geerten Gerritsen, personally find your posting generalizing, but the moderator thinks otherwise. Reimburse part of your travel expenses? Are you sure she can but won't? So you know from afar that she's one of those "bad guys" who has maybe 5 boyfriends who send money every month?
Maybe the girl works for 6000 bht in a restaurant and is just looking for security? How can that 6000 bht wages girl pay part of the trip?
About love I would say to the questioner, go over there and look at it, don't go too fast because there can be no real love at all as long as you both don't really know which fish you have in the tub and how. you interact with each other when you are together. Via the internet it is totally impossible for both sides to check whether one or both of you is playing a game, because unfortunately these cases are also known, both from the woman and the man!
Good luck and may love come true for both of you!
Hello
After 3 months I went to visit my girlfriend for a few hours “camming” every day. If you're sure you're the only one (and there are plenty of ways to find out, chiefly the way you act and talk), then go for it. We also had a love relationship before we met each other for the first time, and at the first meeting it was confirmed and strengthened. I immediately stayed with her.
The question for money will indeed pop up sooner or later, but maybe in a subtle way: “I'm shopping, but I don't really have the money to buy anything…” But as long as it stays within limits (and you decide that) myself), I have no problem with that because you also lost that money to a friend here.
My family is also very much against it. I try to do everything I can to deny all prejudice and see it as a normal relationship like with a girl from here. You're probably going to have friends who drop you too, but if your relationship is strong enough and you absolutely want this girl, you should go for it and hope that some people will drop their prejudice sooner or later.
Regardless of the way of acquaintance, place of residence, occupation and the like, the main question is in fact :
What are the possible future plans possibilities?
Marry and stay in your or her home country?
Or maintain a long-distance relationship for about 40 years?
You probably won't follow Cor Verkerk's question, and you won't keep us informed, no problem, that's just us, nevertheless, good luck.
Didit
you are 24 and you want something, then do it. Hit it and you'll hit your head against the wall. Will it be a life lesson.
In short, you are 24 and have nothing to lose. Of course you can also walk nicely in the family line for the rest of your life. But I think everyone has the right to commit their own stupidity, including you And maybe it's the dream girl of your life, and maybe it's a slut. But you'll never know if you don't crawl from behind Mother's skirt and let go of her hand.
You are 23 years old. If you really want to go for it, then do it. But stay sober about it. Don't start getting excited just yet. Getting to know someone on the internet can be good or bad. Be prepared for this too. Find out where exactly she lives and also look up hotels in nearby cities. In case of misfortune. If you also tell your family about this, they will also look at it soberly. There are many bad stories about Thai women and that is because people remember the bad stories better than the good ones. So go for it, stay level-headed and if things go wrong, tell her so. Don't give them false hope. Good luck and success.
Listen to mom and dad. Their life experience is invaluable.
@Gerrald: Asking your new girlfriend for money, as some suggest, is completely out of the question with a Thai: don't do it! To imagine that you are not rich and just an ordinary working boy is much better and honest with her. Therefore, the fact that she works in Phuket does not mean that she would not have an honorable job. You can find out by actually meeting her and being with her for a while and seeing what kind of job she actually does. Love at first sight does exist, but you can only be sure of that if you get to know each other better and that is, meet her in person and ask how she sees the future with you. If it turns out that she is honest with you, your family will turn around and they will accept her.
Good luck!!!
Moderator: please don't chat.
Dear Gerald,
Just follow your heart and mind. I think quite a few responses here are premature if they are well-intentioned, you can certainly fall in love or even meet lovers via the internet. Sometimes that doesn't work, sometimes it does. There is only one way to find out and that is to travel to Thailand and meet her there. Then you really see whether the magical latch, that spark, is there and whether it feels good otherwise. Of course there may be a catch, but for her it is also a risk. Go there them, enjoy, do what feels right. I assume you are wise enough not to pump hundreds of dollars into it (if you have any).
What can happen to you? If you don't click, then you have at least tried (and you may still have nice friendly contact), if something is not right (money, using several men as cash cows, plenty of horror stories) then you come. find out quickly enough and you can run away if you don't follow your young gentleman. And if there is a click, everything feels good, then go for it together! Listening to third parties does no harm, people mean well, but ultimately it comes down to your and her heart & mind. Good luck! Hopefully you will let us know how everything goes, write a diary/blog, send it to the editors, they will like it.
Hi,
I would say: draw your own plan, you are no longer a child!
Go see her for a few weeks first.
Don't worry about prejudices about Thailand and especially Thai women.
There are good and bad Thai women, just like with the Dutch and with
other peoples. My son lives in Khorat with a Thai girlfriend, a sweetheart,
modest and very good for him and a woman who is good with money.
I have completely closed her in my heart.
If the contact is "disappointing", you can always return to the Netherlands.
If you guys are serious, she can also have the patience to wait a little longer,
I wish you lots of success and love!
Inge
G'day Gerrald,
Just go when it suits you, otherwise you will regret it later. If it doesn't work out, you can still have a great time, Thailand has so much to offer. Be prepared for the climate and life is completely different than here. The chance that you will be disappointed in the girl is real, but in Thailand itself is very minimal. But there are plenty of other nice and beautiful girls who work, such as in massage salons or supermarkets. But just continue on Facebook and Skype hmmm there I'm still having a hard time with it. Another good tip: ask friends or acquaintances who have been there many times for some explanation, you will be amazed at what you hear from their experiences.
Regards, David
Hallo,
Didn't she tell you what job she has? What level of education does she have. Does she come from a poor/rich/middle class family. Does her family also live in Phuket and the surrounding area or poor Isaan?
Ps if your girlfriend is a rocking cat and very pretty (and you are less attractive) then you can already scratch your head. If you have the feeling it's too good to be true, then that's usually right.
It is true that many Thai women are ok. And even if such a girl wants a better life with a nice boy from abroad, who cares. Keep in mind that if she comes from a poor family, the financial responsibility for her parents and possibly. carry other family members. But usually those girls want to work hard for that themselves.
Succes
I have been with a Thai for 8 years. We fit well together and I'm super happy with her.
Exciting for you, I would say just go for a holiday and enjoy the beautiful country and soak up the culture. Whether she is the one you can't say yet, so if you are "in love" via the internet, you should go and look her up. Book your own hotel or guesthouse, so that you are NOT dependent on her and her family. Keep in mind that it may come to nothing. Enjoy and go for it. (that's how I met my regular boyfriend)
Frank
You are old enough to decide for yourself, that's for sure. If you go, you have to pay close attention and be careful about what kind of environment you end up in and what kind of entertainment your loved one likes to go to.
In short, don't be blinded by love, but continue to think rationally. As a down-to-earth Dutchman you should be able to do that!!!??
Enjoy your stay and enjoy the love with your loved one, but keep a mirror in front of yourself every time
whether you are emotional or rational. I wish you a lot of strength.
Old Dutch saying: Love is blind - if you keep an eye on it, it only applies
A warned person counts for two.
Hi Gerrald.
Experience is the best teacher. So book a holiday to Thailand and enjoy yourself.
You're old and wise enough to figure out what kind of girl she is.
Why is your family against it if they don't know her yet??
Sieds' reaction is completely tasteless, but that says a lot about himself.
I live in Thailand myself and have been married to a Thai for 6 years and I like it very much.
I wish you a lot of succes.
Nice..not so..to read how some visitors think about the Thai. My experience:
My wife Muslima living and born in Phuket when I met her is very clear and honest. Education of ladies in Phuket is low? Look at yourself in the mirror my friend.
A lady from Thailand who works in the reception of a 5 star hotel ... university education or school for tourism at HBO level.
Within my in-laws the level is at least high school, and yes my wife also wants/must send money to her family…but works here in Knolland 5.5 days a week. Never too tired to give me a massage and always a smile yes. My colleagues at work are always surprised that I have a few trays of freshly prepared food, fruit, etc. with me. Well..
My advice, go visit your girlfriend. Keep your eyes open and your wallet closed as much as possible. Don't let your girlfriend and family think you're rich, or even if you are.
My experience is that you can build up very nice contacts, now I also have a lot of Thai in my facebook.
I am certainly not a Thai expert. Just living my life.
Gr Chris
hi gerrald,
I read all the comments here, and it's just a matter of taking a guess.
At the age of 22/23 I myself met a Thai woman through ICQ, lost contact, reconnected after 5 years and booked a ticket in an impulse. just to meet her as friends. She already had a boyfriend from France. Once there I met her girlfriend and now, 3 years later, I am married to her. We didn't really get to know each other until I got back home and we started skyping. During the holidays you just have a great time, and later we talked about more serious things, to see if we could make something of it.
Married last April. I feel very happy with it. And she never asked for a baht either.
Also read my diary here on the forum – Long distance relationship with a Thai woman. Part 3 will soon be here on the site.
I've also heard all the prejudices by now. None of it attracted and I'm very glad that I didn't listen to others. Everyone suddenly knows someone who has gone wrong. And they're only saying this because they want to join the conversation. At first I didn't know what would come of it. Love is always a gamble.
If you really want to know if it can work out, talk about the everyday stuff, who you are, what you've been through, etc. Just go that way and have a good time together and then make the decision.
Success with it.
ps my wife is even 12 years older and yet it works great and if you want to know more, read my diary here on thailandblog.
Regards, Chris Verhoeven
Follow your heart,. Bump your own nose!
Anyone can tell you anything.
You are the one making this choice.
Family must have reason to be against it. Perhaps anxiety and or fear. Thailand can be very beautiful as well as dangerous. Especially if you are ignorant.
I met my two ex-thai girlfriends in Thailand myself.
And as you can read on the internet it is always “My Thai girlfriend is different”
As you have read above, it is often too good to be true. It's not always what it seems either.
My 2 Thai ex girlfriends have never asked for money either!!
You have to be really lucky to find the right one.
In my case it failed twice for the same reason.
The Dutch language and employment in the Netherlands.
My first Thai girlfriend immediately thought it was too difficult to learn.
Your Thai girlfriend must first take an integration test in Thailand to be allowed to come after the Netherlands.
Then she also gets a more extensive variant in the Netherlands, (neutralization)
My first Thai was already dreading the integration course in Thailand.
My second Thai girlfriend was diligently learning Dutch for the first 3 months.
Every day via tango for the first few weeks. She from her study book and I about tango the correct pronunciation. I taught her to count from the game of darts. She had to pronounce what she threw in Dutch.
All went well.
Her pronunciation and reactions in Dutch were very good.
Only after a few months did she give up. Afraid not to make it. Afraid she won't be able to find work here. Looking up to the integration course in the Netherlands.
Also the Thai life or Sanook
Girls in phuket or pattaya are somewhat addicted to the sanook
I would advise to read thailandblog and or pattaya addicts or thailand bargirls.
I was told if I really want a Thai woman?? To master the language and then certainly not to go to pattaya or Phuket. You can best be suggested, or to do a village??
Because Thai women/girls in Phuket or Pattaya are already ……..
Only it is not impossible to meet someone who can certainly become a future.
Often the fallang is well provided with money. For a Thai, love is a completely different concept, family always comes first.
If you can support her and her family then it's often okay.
Some have 3 – 5 sponsors
There are also those who come with a purpose.
I'd say do a Google search
Whatever you do??
Even if it still looks so beautiful?!
Don't buy her gold,
Don't fall for the sick Buffalo story.
Or her sick mother or father.
Don't send her sponsorship money.
Is your girlfriend an ex bar girl or ex go go girl or is she still working then be wary.
They can get you all wrapped up they are very persuasive,
However, it is not the case that real sincere love cannot arise between all these girls.
Yes, it is also important that you can maintain her in the Netherlands if you want to have her come over.
Can you guarantee??
I'd say check first
Grt Qmax
hi Gerrald,
Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. But everyone is also responsible for their own grief. Because I don't know you or your girlfriend in Phuket, it's almost impossible to give specific advice. I leave with a few comments from my own background: now met a nice woman after two failed attempts with a Thai woman.
1. Prepare yourself for the fact that Thailand is really very different from the Netherlands. That undoubtedly has its charms (temperature, sun, food, women), but there are also things that you probably have trouble with.
2. As a Thai woman, spending time with a foreigner undoubtedly has its charms (increased status, financial security, a new life), but there are also things that the Thai woman probably has difficulty with (e.g. contact with other women or exes, flirting, not wanting to take care of family, individualistic behavior)
3. Be positive but also be critical if you are confronted with things that you don't like. Try to understand first instead of judging.
4. When your relationship with her gets serious, realize that there are two ways to be with each other. YOU are moving to Thailand (difficult to find work, low salaries, hardly any social security; if your girlfriend is looking for financial security, this is probably not the solution) or your girlfriend is moving to the Netherlands (difficulty adapting, learning language to integrate, skeptical in-laws, image of Thai women in the Netherlands).
5. Thailand is a show-off culture, in my view. Few things are really as they appear. A lot of gold is fake. Many wealthy people are in huge debts. Take the time to really get to know your girlfriend.
You are 23 years old, so you say to your family: “Thanks for the advice, but I am now an adult and decide for myself what I want to do with my life”.
Then you will consider whether you want to continue contact with her.
Then you make a decision about it all by yourself.
If that was a wrong decision afterwards, you will have to pay for the consequences yourself.
But hey, that's part of being an adult.
Gerrald, I also think you should follow your heart. But above all, take your mind with you. If you decide whether or not to go now, I suggest you watch this documentary. Maybe it will help you better understand the girl in question. I sincerely hope that it is of some use to you. Don't be too quick to be biased, but carefully consider how far you want to go. The girls in Phuket and Pattaya who mean well, especially want to benefit from it. How would you be yourself? But then you also have the party numbers and you would rather lose them than be rich.
http://youtu.be/WmS4a9gUPr4