Reader question: To pay a bribe or not?

Dear Klaas,

1- you say about your question that it bothers you. Because of ethics. If you care a lot about ethics, answer the question ethically. If it is the case that an amount of 300 thousand ThB probably ends up in the pockets of the intake officer, then the answer should be that you do not cooperate. Plus, you're not going to pay the Thai army to employ a stepson. Plus: you're not going to try to get rid of your stepson through a Thai army officer.

2- But there is one more question beforehand: how come you are going to think about paying to get a stepson out of the house in this way? That too is ethics.

3- You say that your stepson went to high school while sleeping, and that the follow-up to a technical school is of the same cloth. Have you ever sat around the table with mother and son? Do mother and son know how you feel about school performance? Have you ever talked to the teachers? Are there alternatives? What does your stepson want? How does he intend to continue his education? Would you be willing to pay for a different kind of education route at the request of the mother and/or son? Still plenty of questions to answer.

4- My girlfriend wouldn't even dream of even thinking that I could be asked, let alone required of me, to “open up the purse strings”. The fact that you formulate it this way says a lot about your relationship with your girlfriend (and her son).
We talk first, nothing presumed or fantasized, and realistic proposals are discussed. Nothing like: something is going on and you solve it (financially). This is also an ethical issue.

Conclusion and advice: do not pay bribes, and take a close look at your mutual relationships.

Very clear to me: never, ever.
In the 9 years I've lived here, I've never paid anyone for 'services' and I've never accepted gifts or money from – in this case – students who want a good point.

Dear Klaasje123,

Also from experience don't start paying, you keep paying.
(you also indicate where it stays)

Dear Klaasje 123,
I would like to advise you to list everything with the history from the start that you know them, then you almost know what to do! I can tell you some necessary experiences that I have had up close, which is not a benchmark but gives you an idea of ​​what can happen to you, but again it does not have to be the same.
good luck with whatever you decide.

I experienced the same thing at the end of the 90s in the golden age. Was then asked to pay the equivalent of 1000 guilders for the son of my Thai wife to be admitted to the Thai army. I did and did not regret it afterwards 16 years later he now has a good permanent job in the army with a good income.

Klaasje, I would pay if I have confidence that the boy also wants it and will make it happen.
It is customary to pay for a good (indefinite period) position.

My wife and my 18 year old son are going to the Amphur today to register him for the draft, it costs nothing. The Officers School costs money but not the draft and the Officers School you have to pay, just like all other schools.