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Home » Reader question » Reader question: Adolescent son of my Thai girlfriend
Reader question: Adolescent son of my Thai girlfriend
Dear readers,
My Thai girlfriend has a 16-year-old son, almost 17. Hardly goes to school, often spends all night on the computer, sleeps a hole in the day, never has a meal together.
Comments from me are not appreciated by her. In short, I know my place, family first.
Anyone similar experiences?
Please comment, thanks in advance,
Roger
I experienced the same thing here with my ex-wife, my son didn't want to go to school anymore, came home late, it went downhill quickly. As you say yourself, you should not get involved in anything, this is a family matter to which you do not belong, but you can pay for everything. I heard from an acquaintance, but if he joins the army, he gets a bit of education and can learn a few things in terms of car technology, etc. etc. It turned out well for my ex's son and he now has a reasonable job. Or maybe she has family in Bkk who can work there instead of hanging around at home.
Hi Tina, thanks for your comment. I also thought about the army, but I think he's going to be rejected, because of an accident a few months ago. An accident that left him with 100% use of his right arm. The rest of the family is quite poor, so not an option. Financially I shouldn't be afraid, my girlfriend has a more than decent income. And indeed, I am not allowed to interfere, otherwise I will quarrel with the girlfriend. They do not receive education, they are served at their beck and call. When he comes home around 1 o'clock at night, he shouts that he is hungry. She gets out of bed to make dinner, while she has to get up at 6 to 6.30 to go to work. I love him is her comment on my 'complaint'.
I'll just have to put up with it, I'm afraid, if I want to keep her.
Greetings,
Roger
Nothing special…
The Dutch children are just like that?
What's the problem?
Well, John, I don't completely agree with you, I personally think that Thais cannot raise children, they don't teach them discipline or norms and values, they just have to grin and get their way and often don't even know how to say thank you when you give them something. I think that the fact that Dutch youth are like this is also a matter of upbringing
Unfortunately, this behavior (particularly in sons) occurs everywhere… including in the Netherlands.
A little discipline really doesn't hurt.
Yes, that happens more often.
Two Thai friends of mine also complain about it.
One is already worried when their son leaves the service; he does cost money but then brings in nothing with his loafer, and the other has a son (13) who hangs out with the wrong friends and was beaten up by some rival buddies just last week.
They're remarkably open about that to me. But then I don't have a 'lasting relationship' with the mothers and the family.
When I was that age I was the same. However, I was never in front of the computer at the time. He does. He can learn a lot from that. And that is not possible for most young people in this country.
Can't he get training in that?
I assume he is gaming behind the computer, that's not very educational.
Hi.I have the same thing going on.Maybe even worse.Son of 16 got a girl of 17 pregnant.Have several meetings between them about how payment will be made.Well I threw in the towel.Did everything for him , school paid, new bike for going to school given, new laptop for his auto mechanic study. Nothing came of it, secretly into the street at night. wrong friends. I don't interfere and don't pay anything.
Well I'm not having any luck with that
My grandson, who is 6 years old, comes home from school and has to do his homework every day. Then he can start playing and if he doesn't get his way with me, I'll explain to him why not.
His mother supports this 100 percent as I raise him. He is a farang child, so I also teach him the norms and values as I taught my children in the past.
His father has passed away, so I am raising him with my Thai daughter-in-law, who supports my decisions 100 percent as I deal with him, I pay for his schooling and if he needs anything, that's it.
my daughter-in-law will never ask me for money or anything.
Strange that my observations of the children are so different than often on this forum.
It may have to do with whether one lives in the city or in a village.
Certainly I see children who have problems, or will have them.
I see kids who are probably on drugs.
But you see those problems all over the world and Thailand is not unique in that.
What I generally don't see are rude kids.
Yes, there are some, but they are really exceptions.
For all money or clothing that is received, a wai is always neatly made upon receipt.
That won't just be if I'm there at that moment.
Whenever I walk in I am also greeted politely with a wai.
And yes, they are addicted to the computer and even watch movies on 5 cm by 10 cm screens.
And homework is included.
But do they miss that much?
I saw a mid-term exam for sixth grade.
The questions belonged in the second class of HAVO.
But rude, disobedient or spoiled like little princes?
Seldom.
Most of them have to earn their own school fees during the holidays, so being spoiled is not too bad.
Looks like a teenager, I can still remember myself staying up late into the night, only then we didn't have computers yet. It's okay to send a little bit anyway.
If I hear it like that, there is not much difference with many contemporary Dutch teenagers, I would say as long as there is idd. no extreme drink or drug use is a bit of steering and if it gets out of hand on his 18th shoe size 42 under the ass and go to work that often helps too 😉