Welcome to Thailandblog.nl
With 275.000 visits per month, Thailandblog is the largest Thailand community in the Netherlands and Belgium.
Sign up for our free e-mail newsletter and stay informed!
Newsletter
Language setting
Rate Thai Baht
Sponsor
Latest comments
- Matthias: Well René, I agree with you 100% on this one. Everywhere you go, or on every media on the internet, this is shoved down our throats
- Jack S: LGJOAJDLFJLAKFLAKAJALJ marriages…. man oh man... I'm getting old-fashioned... I've had it with those idiotic abbreviations d
- screen: Hi, you can get a variety of models or types of houses, plenty of choices. But you can also commission an architect to
- Guy: download the “weather forecaster” widget 2024. There you will find up-to-date useful information every day, including air quality
- Guy: Building a house here obviously costs much less than in the Netherlands or Belgium. How much a house will cost depends on its size
- Alphonse: It is true that you should try to get eye contact, but a problem in Thailand is that many cars are blinded and you therefore cannot
- Erik: Download the Airvisual (IQAir) app to see where the air quality is best.
- Co: You can make it as expensive as you want. But to give an example, for the amount you rented in 8 years, you would have...
- Ruud: A problem with Thais is that they don't want to learn anything new, especially from foreigners, so they continue to grow rice for 50-60 years.
- René: Maybe this will help you. World's Air Pollution: Real-time Air Quality Index https://waqi.info/#/c/18.57/104.875/
- Leon: Dear Robert, Price per m2 is between 10k and 13k. Please note that calculations are made from the outer edge of the roof. My house is about 145 m2
- René: I am absolutely broad-minded and wish everyone a pleasant life with or without a partner of the same sex or not, with or
- Rob V: I would almost think that almost all Western authors who write a novel with Thailand as a setting all have the same plot
- Rudolf: Quote: What are the current estimated costs of building a house per m². That just depends on what kind of requirements you meet
- Johnny B.G: In the 50s-80s/90s, Dutch regularly grown food also contained poison and yet there are 20% elderly people in the Netherlands and in TH that is also the case.
Sponsor
Bangkok again
Menu
Arrivals Bangkok Airport
DOSSIERS
Learning objectives and topics
- Background
- Activities
- Advertorial
- Diary
- Tax question
- Belgium question
- Sights
- Bizarre
- Buddhism
- Book reviews
- Column
- Corona crisis
- The Culture
- Diary
- Dating
- The week of
- Dossier
- To dive
- Economy
- A day in the life of…..
- Islands
- Food and drink
- Events and festivals
- Balloon Festival
- Bo Sang Umbrella Festival
- Buffalo races
- Chiang Mai Flower Festival
- Chinese New Year
- Full Moon Party
- Christmas
- Lotus Festival – Rub Bua
- Loy Krathong
- Naga Fireball Festival
- New Years Eve celebration
- Phi ta khon
- Phuket Vegetarian Festival
- Rocket festival – Bun Bang Fai
- Songkran – Thai New Year
- Fireworks Festival Pattaya
- Expats and retirees
- state pension
- Car insurance
- Banking
- Tax in the Netherlands
- Thailand tax
- Belgian Embassy
- Belgian tax authorities
- Proof of life
- DigiD
- emigrate
- To rent a house
- Buy a house
- In memoriam
- Income statement
- King's day
- Cost of living
- Dutch embassy
- Dutch government
- Dutch Association
- News
- Passing away
- Passport
- Retirement
- Drivers license
- Distributions
- Elections
- Insurance in general
- Visa
- work
- Hospital
- Health insurance
- Flora and fauna
- Photo of the week
- Gadgets
- Money and finance
- History
- Health
- Charities
- Hotels
- Looking at houses
- Isaan
- Khan Peter
- Koh Mook
- King Bhumibol
- Living in Thailand
- Reader Submission
- Reader call
- Reader tips
- Reader question
- Society
- marketplace
- Medical tourism
- Environment
- Nightlife
- News from the Netherlands and Belgium
- News from Thailand
- Entrepreneurs and companies
- Education
- Research
- Discover Thailand
- Opinions
- Remarkable
- Calls
- Floods 2011
- Floods 2012
- Floods 2013
- Floods 2014
- Winter prices
- Politics
- Poll
- Travel stories
- Travel
- Organizations
- Shopping
- Social media
- Spa & wellness
- Sport
- Cities
- Position of the week
- The beach
- Language
- For sale
- TEV procedure
- Thailand in general
- Thailand with children
- thai tips
- Thai massage
- Tourism
- Going out
- Currency – Thai Baht
- From the editors
- Real estate law; and
- Traffic and transport
- Visa Short Stay
- Long stay visa
- Visa question
- Flight tickets
- Question of the week
- Weather and climate
Sponsor
Disclaimer translations
Thailandblog uses machine translations in multiple languages. Use of translated information is at your own risk. We are not responsible for errors in translations.
Read our full here disclaimer.
Royalty
© Copyright Thailandblog 2024. All rights reserved. Unless stated otherwise, all rights to information (text, image, sound, video, etc.) that you find on this site rest with Thailandblog.nl and its authors (bloggers).
Whole or partial takeover, placement on other sites, reproduction in any other way and/or commercial use of this information is not permitted, unless express written permission has been granted by Thailandblog.
Linking and referring to the pages on this website is permitted.
Home » Reader question » Reader question: My Thai girlfriend doesn't want to marry me
Dear readers,
Now it's different. I would like to marry my Thai girlfriend but she doesn't want to, should I be worried?
I have been living near Pattaya since 2013. In 2015 I met my girlfriend. She is mid 46 and I am a few years older. I have a luxury condo and a vacation home elsewhere in Thailand. My girlfriend has a good job in the government.
Now that we have been together for about 6 years I thought it was time to get married, I proposed to her a few months ago. She reacted pleasantly surprised but does not want to set a specific date. When I talk to her about it, she gives evasive answers
I've talked to two friends about it and they say something is wrong if a Thai doesn't want to get married. At first I thought not, but now I'm starting to doubt it. We don't have relationship problems or anything.
My question is are there other readers who know or have experienced such a situation and how did they act? Should I really be concerned or will it be okay?
Regards,
Olivier
Editors: Do you have a question for the readers of Thailandblog? Use it contact form..
Maybe she wants to but can't because she is still legally married and that is registered.
Not everyone is into marriage, that this may be more often the man than the woman should not be extended to the individual. You can't do much more than tell her your feelings about why you want to get married and then ask her the questions about her feelings and ideas about getting married. We can speculate about why someone is keeping the boat off (for a while?), but then I don't think it makes sense. Can be anything: not her thing, a waste of money, too much hassle, gives a bad or oppressive feeling, etc.
In short, just ask how she feels and if she's worried about anything. Then try to figure it out together.
And before someone comes up with the idea “maybe she is secretly already married”, you can always take a look at the passport or ID card. Strangely enough, you cannot see the marital status of a man, but you can see the marital status of women:
Mr นาย (Naay): Sir, sir
Mrs นาง (Naang): Mrs, the wife (married)
Miss นางสาว (Naang-Saaw): Miss, young lady (unmarried)
Rob,
In Thailand it is possible as a woman to keep your maiden family name when you get married. Your passport and ID will then state นางสาว (Naang Saaw). This rule was introduced many years ago. In other words: if a woman chooses this, you cannot see from a passport or ID card whether a woman is married.
My wife also kept her own name in 2004 when we got married
I just checked her ID
Her name is on her Thai ID in both Thai and English.
Before her name in Thai it says นาง (Mrs)
Before her name in English is Mrs.
I only now see that all the info is in both Thai and English.
I had never really noticed before.
Last she renewed her ID was in 2019.
Hi Paul that is indeed correct. My wife and I have officially registered our marriage (outside of Thailand) with the amphur in Thailand. When she wanted to change Miss to Madam when renewing ID / driver's license, she couldn't. Apparently we should have changed when we got married / registered. Despite the fact that she has been my mrs. is she still a miss on her ID
If you're in a good relationship, I wouldn't put pressure on you. Would you be happier if she did want to get married? Does that change anything about your relationship?
There can be so many different reasons why they don't want to get married. I wouldn't speculate about it and if she won't explain it I would just leave it alone.
I wouldn't worry too much about it and certainly wouldn't put pressure on her, if she thinks the relationship is so good, why should you get married? Often it is the woman or the family of the woman who considers it necessary to get married, if you are so happy with each other, then leave it that way.
I agree 100% with Rob V. and Dirk.
What kind of good government job does she have?
Could it come from there?
Perhaps she was born male? I would check her passport to see what gender it says.
It may be just me, but if you have been with this woman for 6 years, you should not ask us, but her why she does not want to get married.
When asked why, I would like to know why she gives evasive answers every time you write.
If she continues to evade, you could simply confront her with a question that you feel she is already married.
Without having a prejudice, you have to count on the fact that she is not the only one who is already married, to allow herself to finance another beautiful life independently of this already existing marriage.
There are men who ignorantly spoil the girlfriend with gifts of money, while the legally married husband also benefits from this.
In any case, she has an opinion on this and ONLY SHE can express it or not.
Same as you decided to ask her and got the lid on your nose.
Difficult for you to deal with this, you are, it seems to me, mortified.
It's up to her to reveal the reason(s), but will she? Assume you asked.
Your friends think something is up and yes of course many would think this. Only what?
I have been married twice, with the woman in that process later thinking differently and with me many other men. It was not my idea, but from the woman. To marry? an overrated idea.
You could leave it married and carry on as you are.
In principle, getting married is nothing more than a piece of paper, a contract. I think, and not much.
Until you get divorced again, because then you're hanging on to that contract.
Marriage may sometimes be considered idyllic (snapshot), but it can turn into hell.
Experienced, seen, heard.
Options: you made it known, you wait and move on with her. Hope you like the incident
“forget” and continue here from “normal”.
you leave her.
Both depend on how you personally feel about this and you are the only one who decides on that again. Don't deny yourself and stick to your decision no matter what you make.
Nothing else is imaginable. Matter of mind setting.
To forget it would be a bit difficult I think. A relationship is built on trust and openness. If his girlfriend doesn't give a reason why she doesn't want to get married, then the trust gets a big dent, a dent that I don't think can be dented anymore.
If she does not want to be bound or her work has to do with it, she can indicate this in all openness, I think.
Perhaps as a senior official of the Thai state, she is not allowed to marry a foreigner
Maybe she has a minor child from a previous relationship that is not yet known to you. My marriage papers state that my wife has a daughter from a previous relationship (Buddha marriage) with the name of this man. (I was aware of it, yet they checked with the amphur).
1. see all of the above.
2. she really loves you so much that she doesn't want relatives up to the 9th degree, and or ex-husbands to blackmail her to drain you.
3. her so-called ex-husband is ready with blackmail as soon as she is married.
She herself had been with the same for about 20 years, so she did not want to get married years ago, and is Naang,
Let go I guess. When she got wind of the life insurance on my life, for her, I bought it off because I don't want to risk a "brother" or ex killing me so they can take the benefit from her.
If she is still hiding a child from a previous relationship after 6 years, I would very much like to know what else she is hiding.
Isn't honesty and openness after 6 years of relationship the basis why you are together for so long, and ask her to marry you.
Surely no sane person can expect that at 46 she has had no past?
Therefore, you can just talk about a child, past relationship, or a supposed high position that makes this marriage impossible for her, which I don't believe?
I have the feeling that she is simply hiding her still existing marriage in order to have a good life for herself and perhaps her husband as well.
You write that you have been in a relationship for six years and you write about being together. This is different from living together under one roof. You may have a long-term relationship which is experienced as pleasant by an independent woman. You have difficulty with this and you will really have to guess for yourself whether your relationship can last and whether your partner has compelling reasons not to want to enter into a marriage. Love should come from both sides and it is so nice when this is reflected in actions and words and deeds. Something about your wording or something you don't put into words gives me reservations and raises questions. As an outsider, advice is difficult to give. I do know that many people think what doesn't know what doesn't hurt and people often don't want to talk about certain things. This may be the case with your partner. Shame is often the order of the day. If you cannot convince her of the added value of a married relationship, she will not change her mind. Ultimately, the decision is yours to accept this and leave it or stop. Think before you leap if you can be content with the rejection and no answer or answer by any questions to your partner in this area. Sometimes you have to settle for less.
No one can give you advice for the simple reason that no one but you knows your and your girl's character and the reasons for not marrying each other.
A positive or negative comment does not solve your uncertainty either.
There are things in life that you should be able to decide for yourself and take the consequences.