Dear readers,

I have a question about monetary contributions when a friend gets married, a family member dies and a friend visits who has built a house and is now finished.

I hear from my Thai friend that it is customary for a sum of money to be given at the above-mentioned ceremonies. Is this correct and what amounts are customary in this tradition?

When they have no money, they borrow, but it is very strange that they get even more debts.

Please give your opinion on this.

twen

 

15 responses to “Reader question: How much money should you give at a Thai party?”

  1. Jacques says up

    A Thai custom indeed, Twen. The envelopes with contents appear at all festivities to which people are invited. The content differs per occasion and per person.
    Usually I see my wife put a 100 Baht note in it. But for a wedding party of close relatives, 1000 Baht went into the envelope.

    In the Thai community, people themselves know very well what an appropriate amount is in a certain situation.

    When we throw a party, my wife explicitly says with the invitation that we don't want envelopes. She makes many people happy in the village.

    And get used to borrowing, the Thais are no different among themselves.

  2. Tino Kuis says up

    They are amounts as Jacques mentioned above. I usually gave 500 baht. You do need to write your name on the envelope so the recipient knows who the gift is from.
    After our Thai wedding party, already 15 years ago, my ex-mother-in-law has been busy opening envelopes all night, writing name and amount in an album and counting the money. I still have that album. I sometimes tease her about it: counted all night and didn't sleep, hey, well we didn't sleep either!
    There were also amounts from 20 baht. That album has a useful function. You, in turn, give someone the same amount they gave you!

    • Jacques says up

      Also really Thai, write everything down. In an album is very chic Tino. That was a marriage "on standing".
      I always see that everything is written down in notebooks. Woe betide if the amount of money doesn't match the amount written down. Intense discussions and counting everything again.

  3. Peter vz says up

    Twen,
    This strongly depends on the social setting, and what relationship you personally have with the bridal couple, the deceased, etc
    In Bangkok I myself give 1000-3000 baht at a wedding. In the event of a death it is less than 1000, unless I am asked to sponsor one of the evenings in the temple. Then it costs a few thousand to a maximum of 1 thousand. The latter, of course, only if I know the deceased or close family very well.
    If you just come along as a guest and you hardly know the people, then 100 baht is enough. Thais sometimes give considerable amounts of money and it often happens that the proceeds from donations exceed the costs of the party.

  4. chris says up

    hello tween

    I don't know what exactly is customary, but I do know what happens here in the house. For marriages, the amount is 1000 baht; at funerals it makes a difference how far or how close you are to the deceased and his family. I remember that we - at the funeral of a neighbor - went to the temple every day and every day there was an envelope with money to pay for the costs of food and drinks (sometimes for 100 to 200 people). The first day 1000 baht and the following days 300 baht per day. One day we also gave a very large fish (cost: 250 baht) which was then incorporated into the food.
    If you only go 1 time (the day of the cremation) I would think 1000 baht is enough.
    chris

  5. leen.egberts says up

    I'm amazed, I didn't know Dutch people are so generous, I give with my girlfriend
    500 bath, I think that is a nice amount without being stingy. In our village, five people die every month. With the decrease and the benefits we receive from the euro,
    I think the amounts that people give are exaggerated. When you have enough money, it is not
    problem, we let the thai people work all day for 200 to 300 bath.

    Greetings Leen.Egberts.

  6. Chris Hammer says up

    Indeed, most Thais know what an appropriate amount is for a party, wedding and cremations. Sometimes I correct the amount my wife wants to give upwards, because I have good contacts with a party or grieving family.
    Like Timo, I also have experiences in the immediate family about counting all the proceeds late into the night and recording in an album who gave what.

    The nice thing about the system is that poor people can also have a party or finance everything related to a cremation.

  7. RonnyLadPhrao says up

    I think you can reduce it all to the financial possibilities of the giver and the relationship with the receiver, but it is certainly a practice.

    The amounts I read here may be normal for the average farang, but most of the Thai will certainly not give this or there should be those who do not have to worry financially.

    A Thai family with an income of roughly 10000 Bath a month, and there are plenty of them, will not give 1000 Bath because someone from the neighbors has died or because someone from their village is getting married.
    I certainly didn't find many of those amounts when I got married, but I didn't expect that of course
    Family is a different story, but you cannot expect the poorest to suffer financially. I have even given money back to people, albeit not in public and in a way that the giver did not have to feel offended. No one refused or felt insulted.

    We have already had several articles on TB about finances in Thailand, and especially the Isaan residents are often on the tips of their toes when it comes to amounts.
    Because a large part of the Isan is poor (which is undeniable) and they must, want or can live or survive on a few hundred baths a day.
    Suddenly having to read that they would then put 1000 Bath (or more) in an envelope as a gift at some party would surprise me exceptionally.

  8. Hans Struijlaart says up

    Dear Tween,

    First of all, it is up to you whether you give money and how much.
    At a wedding in the Netherlands we also give money or a nice gift.
    Then you don't ask what is usual. That depends on the relationship you have with the married couple, that also applies to funerals.
    Not in the Netherlands at funerals, then they look at you rather strange if you give money.
    In Thailand it is also customary to make a donation upon death. The reason for this is that for most Thai people this is an unforeseen cost for the family. I have yet to meet the first Thai who has funeral insurance. You have to be able to estimate how badly they need the money (how poor the family is) and what you can spare yourself, of course.
    Giving money because someone has finished his house and wants to bless it? Bring a good bottle of whiskey (Jack Daniels etc.). Success assured! If you give an amount somewhere around 500-1000 bath they will look at you very friendly and make a deep Wai.
    Hope you can do something with this. Hans

  9. chose says up

    My mother-in-law has a life insurance policy and my father-in-law had a life insurance policy that paid for his funeral.

  10. Teunis van Ekeren says up

    In most villages (rural areas) a person has been appointed who, after the death of a resident, visits the houses to collect money for the cremation. We're talking amounts of 20 baht! Many people attend the services provided by monks in the days leading up to the cremation and, of course, there is food. Envelopes with money are also given. Indeed, mention the name on the envelope and everything will be registered. If you later have to give something yourself, the booklet will always be checked. Amounts above 100 baht are not often seen.

    A large part of the money is needed for the coffin, cooling system, music, fireworks, clothing of the deceased, urn, etc. The rest (and more) goes, as usual, to the monks who come every day and lead the cremation service. Truly an expensive affair, especially if a “higher” monk is also involved. Nowadays, quite a few life insurance policies are taken out that pay out an amount after death or illness. Unfortunately, this sometimes involves shady intermediaries who pocket the money.

    At weddings, the inauguration of a new house and Buddhist occasions, for example, there is always the envelope ceremony. Here you sometimes see 500 baht, but that is really the limit”. Everyone can see it and they know how to keep the balance here.

  11. Ruud NK says up

    I leave it to my wife. Sometimes I say it is too little and make sure it is the higher amount. I also don't want to give too much as a “rich” falang. When making a donation, please take into account whether I will be eating with you or not. Normal wedding unknown 500 bath, birthday 100 with string around the wrist of the birthday child.
    My wife handles funerals. The contribution can be very different, sometimes money, sometimes a lot of money, sometimes food. Also help in the kitchen or a combination.
    Once she gave 4 bags of charcoal and a few liters of gasoline for the crematorium. You better get it!

    There are quite a few people who have insurance. The municipality sometimes also wants to contribute to the costs. Recently a man died (drink) without family and then the municipality gave 20.000 baht for all costs to someone who would take care of the funeral. It caused quite a fuss afterwards, because the body went to the crematorium after 1 day and the person who arranged the funeral ended up with too much money. After all, tobogganing is a Thai sport.

  12. sake bouma says up

    Recently went to a wedding party of a really good friend and we gave 500 thb
    For other occasions, 100 thb is really sufficient
    As an example
    when we got married more than half of the envelopes were filled with 20 thb, some with 100 and only a few with 500,
    For a party of a house that is ready I would not give more than 50 thb

  13. adje says up

    I got married in Thailand 8 months ago. What Tino wrote about 15 years ago is still valid today. At the end of the wedding day and the following day, all money is counted. In my case by my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. Everything is written down in a notebook. Name and amount received. Generally they were 100 or 200 bath notes. And yes. Sometimes 20 bath. But that could be counted on one hand. From close friends and relatives, the amounts ranged from 500 to 2000 baths. In the meantime, we have received many invitations from guests or their son or daughters for a wedding. We look in the notebook to see what we had received and then give something more back. For example, if 6 baht was received 100 months ago, 110 baht will be returned.

    • BA says up

      Yesterday also happened to be a wedding, and they indeed kept such a notebook. Funny to see, and my girlfriend also said that normally they should give a little more in return when they receive.

      Incidentally, there is also often a discussion about Sinsod here, but a middle-class Thai simply handed over 500.000 and 10 baht gold. Whether the parents keep it is often question 2, but apparently those kinds of amounts are not exceptional, also in the Isaan.


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