Jealousy in Thai

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November 22 2022

Dear readers,

I often hear and see jealousy between Thai people in the Netherlands. Friendships between Thai people and also between Dutch people of many years, break down.

Although this is of course not a typical Thai phenomenon, I am curious how people experience this?

Regards,

Khun Moo

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9 Responses to “Jealousy at Thai”

  1. Eric H says up

    dear Khun Moo, yes there is jealousy, if my wife's girlfriends ask a little too much attention from me, they hardly come in the door anymore, even if I say it's nothing and that I didn't marry her for nothing but I think that also has to do with a certain security they want, imagine I'm going off with a friend of hers, the shame but certainly the loss of a secure financial future, they have no reserves or safety net such as pension etc

  2. Martin says up

    In my case, the in-laws were a very close-knit group about 15 years ago. In the meantime, after marriages and envy about studies of children, cars and houses, that has fallen to level 3 out of 10
    We have now moved to a village on the beach, but that was a wish not from another feeling.

    I call it envy because jealousy can still be constructive, but it isn't anymore...

    I am the only foreigner in this once tight-knit group of 35 male/female and my wife's life has changed after we became partners. That aroused pure envy in a few other ladies, nieces, a sister and a few cousins….

    Children of the aunts who are the same age as my wife's daughter suddenly wanted to go to a good university but the money was missing, my wife already had a house but now also a car and that was a bit too much. Especially when she helped her other sister with a house and her mother came to live next door with her husband and 2 sons.

    A rich friend of mine once asked me if I was jealous, I answered him as I felt; Except for your wife, I want everything you have, but I wholeheartedly wish it to you ... and can do fine without it.
    I don't see that happening much here and unfortunately also among the 'expats'.

    I sometimes meet the expats (NL or other nationality) by accident and then I keep myself very much in the background when matters such as work, residential location, car etc come up for discussion and that is from experience because whatever you do and have, they had it all better, longer, higher and further… But their current situations show very little of that. Strangely enough, the Australians are the most relaxed in my experience, they don't just ask where you come from.

    Questions like 'do you still have to work' while I have not yet reached retirement age I find the most strange, as if it is a kind of status..

  3. Alphonse says up

    Let's kick off the striker. Women and jealousy are two hands on one stomach.
    Women all over the world are jealous. They tenaciously guard their territory, even if they give it away the next day by running off with another.
    A Belgian ex-girlfriend had the obnoxious habit of giving me an extra hug when I was talking to her peers. She left her poop behind, as we say in Belgium. I now speak of my professional career, for example during a staff party, a reception, etc. Our relationship has therefore not lasted.
    That's the shortsightedness of jealousy.
    A true woman has the intelligence to let you be the macho, but to know that you will always be with her. It often goes wrong there. Because if she doesn't invest enough in you, she will lose you.
    I am thinking, for example, of Goedele Liekens, relationship therapist and sexologist, who regularly told women what power a man's morning erection gave them. A man who takes your hand in the morning will not cheat. Unfortunately, how many women are too stupid, or too selfish for that…
    What strikes me after all these years in Asia is that the women there are more extremely jealous than in Europe. You don't have to agree with me. I remember girls I picked up for the night and after a text from a former girlfriend went wild, started throwing everything in the hotel room, even though they had no relationship with me at all except for that one transaction.
    Cathereya, a girl I used to hang out with in Bangkok, we danced in soi 4 and she wanted to go to the Insomnia, but I didn't, pushed a friend into my hands. Do what you want with it… Then she danced until 6am and then came banging on my door for hours because she knew I was in bed with her friend. Whole hotel to shame.
    It only becomes frightening when the jealousy takes on paranoid forms. And that happens more than you think. That's the infamous situation where your girlfriend or wife takes the kitchen knife, jagged and unsharpened, and cuts off your dick early in the morning! It is, in fact, a morbid psychotic jealousy.
    Only if the surgeon is there within the hour, and your scrotum has been cut off nice and fine and has not yet been thrown to the mutts, do you have a chance to keep your manhood. It is true that from now on you won't have much feeling anymore, due to nerve endings being cut off, so climaxes will still be wishful thinking from now on.
    The Isan women are famous and notorious for it. Just as the dishes are notorious for being too spicy.
    But you can expect extreme love from those women, with nights that take you to heaven or hell. Where you lose yourself completely, like with a solid shot.
    Is that something for you? Look before you leap!
    Shoemaker stick to your last.

    • Khun moo says up

      Alphonse
      Nicely described.
      I go for choice 3, the isan variant.
      Of course all knives are stored.
      The most beautiful flowers grow along the abyss.
      Just kidding, we've been together for 42 years.
      We've also experienced that a Thai puts the entire hotel on stilts.
      An acquaintance of mine, a steward at klm, who has been to many countries said: the hotter the climate in a country, the hotter the women

      Still a positive point about global warming.

      • Alphonse says up

        Dear Khun Moo, I fully support you. Isan is so special!
        "The most beautiful flowers are near the abyss." Did you know that in 1972 a very nice book was published by the Dutch writer Ben Borgart (1940-2016). It's called: The Garbage Rose.
        It is about a hippie who is a tramp and survives at a garbage dump in Amsterdam-Noord, Waterland. One day he finds a delicate fragile rose blooming in the middle of the belt.
        How beautiful, even in the greatest misery, life can give us beautiful moments.
        The people of Isaan, many of them penniless, at least live their lives with passion.
        My respects.

    • fred says up

      A little exaggeration is not allowed too much. I also have a long debauched life behind me, but all in all it was all very hard. I was therefore clever enough to avoid all sorts of situations that could provoke jealousy. Knowing what you are doing is enough.

      • Alphonse says up

        With this reaction I think like this: cool frog in a low land below sea level. Refrigerator.
        Especially looking for your own benefits instead of being generous to all those beautiful Thai people.
        On my first trip to Thailand, an Australian gave me the following wisdom: share your abundance with Thai people and you will get so much in return.
        Indeed, you get so much humanity back.
        The condition is that you put your ego aside.

  4. Tino Kuis says up

    I am now in Thailand and have interviewed a number of men and women on this subject. They all confirm that Thai women can be quite jealous, but that certainly applies to men as well. The reason? Well, the women say, men are เจ้าชู้ (Chao choe, descending high pitch), womanizers. And the men claim that women also often have things with other men (which is also called Chao choe) but are smarter in hiding that relationship. So the jealousy comes to a greater or lesser extent from both sides. There is also definitely more violence perpetrated by jealous men against women in Thailand than the other way around.

  5. Rob V says up

    I think jealousy is tied to personality as well as socio-economic development. The fear of loss (of love, affection, security, the roof over one's head, income, care, etc.). I didn't count, but it could well be that jealousy is more common in Thailand than in the Netherlands: the consequences of your partner running away are greater. Whether it plays more with women than men I dare not venture, of course there are women who become furious when their partner throws / receives a wrong look from someone else, but there are also men who get to the boil when their loving attention from / to someone else.

    So what should I say? I know jealous people (man, woman, Thai, Dutch, ..) and many more people who are not. A little jealousy can still be healthy (feeling completely and totally unmoved by potential temptations from your other half isn't really against a heart on fire), but if you have to tiptoe because otherwise your lover will blow the fuses ? That will cause a lot of stress and conflict and put a relationship to the test. I probably wouldn't keep that up, but luckily I haven't had to experience that myself (yet).


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