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Home » Reader question » Reader question: Australian dumps Thai woman, what are her rights?
Dear readers,
I have a girlfriend in Thailand who recently married an Australian. She quit her job for that and now he's dumped her penniless. I wouldn't be surprised if he's done this before.
Who can give any advice as to her rights and whether she can seek advice from an authority?
Regards,
Ruud
Maybe very loud. But I never understand why when a marriage ends, money has to be left on the table and the man is usually the one who gets screwed. We don't know the background either
But basically 2 people get together, hopefully because they love each other and not because they want to get better financially.
If not, then you split up again and everyone goes their own way. We do assume 2 equal parties and that is perhaps the question here.
(It should be noted that a Thai man usually takes hardly any responsibility in a divorce).
What else is it, of course, if there is a common child. Then you have to take care of it anyway.
If they were wise, they would have drawn up a prenuptial agreement before their marriage and the matter would be clear in advance in the event of a divorce.
And you talk about "dumping", but if they were married then of course each party can simply enlist the help of a lawyer for a divorce whether that is in TH, Australia or NL.
In principle, I would like it nowadays if finally neither party (except in the case of a child) in a divorce wants anything from the other. You take with you what you brought with you or have earned yourself and you leave the marriage behind without making life impossible for the other person. You came voluntarily and you leave “voluntarily” if things don't click. No one is obliged to stay with someone who is no longer doing well.
Yes, she will have to find a new job. But that will happen more often in her/his life. Times when a woman could stay at home are also over. Everyone has to take action to make their own life livable.
And... if he has done this “trick” before, let them be happy to be rid of such a figure. But he probably also had his ideas and both were disappointed.
Hello Ruud,
In Thailand it is usually the opposite that the woman dumps the "farang" after she has stolen all or a large part of his money and that is very easy for these "ladies".
Of course it's awful for your girlfriend, good luck to her.
Greetings Noel.
If he married her, it would have cost him money too. I think he just dumped them. She quit him her job? Why? To take advantage of his money? Well, with the little information the questioner gives, the speculation can start again, as so often happens here on the Thailand blog with a reader's question.
Adje , do not believe everything you read or hear , many girls do not take the truth too closely and try to influence as many people as possible emotionally . If she has problems, she will also be able to solve them. It is a common occurrence in Thaialnd that girls abuse the emotions of good-natured Europeans so that they send money. I have been coming to Thailand for more than 21 years and for the last 10 years I have been living and working in Thailand and it is unbelievable how many foreigners send money to these girls who sometimes have up to four friends who send them money every month. Personally I know a girl who receives more than 100000 thai baht a month and she still works in the bar because she can't miss the fun. I'm not saying that everyone is equal but it is striking how all these girls are copies of each other. Have met few thai women with personality . Yes they are beautiful on the outside but not on the inside there is still a lot of work to do. Etics and morals are non-existent and they forget about anyone who stops sponsoring them. It is a pity that it is because if these girls could think for themselves , Thailand could be one of the nicest places but unfortunately it is not . Thais only live today and they want everything right now immediately tomorrow is not everything is based on now and tomorrow there is no such thing
Why this story again about "Bar girls" there are plenty of other Thai women with a good heart, good education and just like everyone else looking for happiness, love and a nice partner.
Gr. Ad.
Indeed, there are also many sweet Thai women who can make a man very happy, if you compare these women with Dutch women... Certainly not submissive, but if you treat them well, you will have a great time with them! Indeed, there is also a category of women who are different, but are the women in Pattaya, for example, representative of all women in Thailand? Of course not.
I lived with a Thai woman from the upper class for 6 years. She wanted me to give her half my fortune or I would no longer see my daughter. I really couldn't believe this. No one around me had seen this coming, had sold an apartment worth 48 million Thai baths and she claimed half because she worked with me in the firm and at Thai Law she was able to claim half after 5 years, she knew very well what she was doing. did . I gave her half because money is not that important to me. my decision is that every person has their own character, but in Thailand women are not independent enough and rely on their partner's money. The situation here is much different than in the Netherlands and Belgium and of course age also plays a role. I think that a young girl who falls in love with a young foreigner can succeed, but most foreigners who come to live in Thailand are old men who fall in love. be on a jone girl and that will be the biggest problem. I have been with a bar girl for 3 years now and hope it will continue. I don't care if someone comes from a good family or from a bar, if her character is good then she can live with that and that's what it's all about, that we feel happy.
Thanks for your life experience. but I took off my rose colored glasses years ago.
And have been here for several years very happy and happy.
Maintaining your life partner is a normal thing not only in the Netherlands but also in Thailand.
reg, ad.
I have been with the same Thai lady for 4 years and married her under Dutch law last year. Last year my employer also went bankrupt and we were without income for the first 2 months. My wife was able to work in a restaurant and helped us through it. Now everything is going reasonably well again, for the time being I also have work and income again. So not all Thai women are only out for money!!
We are very happy with each other and hope to stay that way for a very long time.
I'm currently with a Thai girlfriend who wants to stop me, because I'm still in a divorce and don't want to hurt my family.
I recently lent her 50K baht because she had to pay off a loan urgently and wanted to work in a bar for this. However, she did not want to accept that money and simply refunded it. I really believe in her sincerity.
She is so bothered by the situation, also because of the status difference, that she wants to end the relationship. Even though I tell her that this will not change my home situation, on the contrary.
I feel very insecure now, just don't want to lose her, but I understand her feeling too.
Tjamuk.
Undoubtedly, the lady in question will be able to demand alimony from the man.
In Thailand there is indeed a maintenance obligation, and this can also be enforced… as long as the man stays in Thailand.
If he returns to Australia, the court in Oz will no doubt order him to pay alimony.
However………….
Alimony can be collected in Australia, but, and that is the problem, Thailand does not have any body that can take care of the distribution of alimony collected abroad in international traffic.
So that's the reason why Thai exes can escape so easily.
Incidentally, the above also applies to the Netherlands.
There, that infamous agency takes care of the collection and distribution of alimony.
But not to Thailand…………..
I notice that Thai ladies quickly move in with him after getting to know a foreigner. This has an advantage that one really gets to know the lady as she really is. With good and bad sides. And if the bad sides prevail, then also end the relationship. According to Thai standards, the ladies understand that once they live together, they will also get married. Apparently people have not yet heard of a real introductory period with a chance of missing out. Everything always has to go fast. I'm talking about the older ladies here (I move in retired circles). Another point is language knowledge or lack of it. Most older ladies know a minimum of English (there are exceptions) The men put the same for Thai. Before people go to Thailand and get to know each other by sending Email, I note that the emails are formatted and sent by people who make an income from them. Actually a form of cheating. Just go to an internet shop. You can hear them there.
What a terrible asshole (sorry moderator, please forgive me but please post it), as a Dutchman I myself got married with my wife in Bangkok on June 10th, but I do have the decency to have the marriage both in Thailand and also legalized in the Netherlands. She therefore has the same rights as if I were married to a Dutch woman, I mean rights such as surviving dependant's pension as well as inheritance law, etc., too bad to burn such flaws, I love my wife and will do everything do everything in my power to give her a carefree life.
During and after my life, and that's how it should be and not otherwise anyway.
Unfortunately I wouldn't know a solution for the abandoned Thai woman in question so soon, I think it's deeply sad and unheard of.
Kind regards, Hans-ajax.
Dear half namesake.
Whether or not you register your Thai marriage in the Netherlands, there are indeed snags to inheritance law, pension, and more of these matters.
Suppose you both think that the marriage is not working.
Suppose you live in Thailand.
Where are you getting divorced?
I think in Thailand, and then Thai laws apply.
If you want to divorce in Thailand and your wife in the Netherlands, then the problems begin.
International law, mixing Thai and Dutch law, and so on.
I assure you, if you want to divorce, that you are better off in Thailand than in the Netherlands, normally everyone gets back what was brought into the marriage, and the property collected during the marriage is divided equally.
If your wife dies, and no inheritance has been arranged, then be aware that if you are not there like the chickens, everything can be lost.
Hans, there are a lot of huge snags to a marriage abroad.
Arrange your affairs in advance, and get rid of the pink cloud.
In the Netherlands you are still somewhat protected by the law, in Thailand things are much more complicated.
Don't think that a legal marriage and registering it in the Netherlands has arranged everything.
Protect yourself, dear Hans.
And mind you, the stories of the financial stripping of a farang far outnumber the stories in which the farang stands on profit.
Some additional information. She (39) knew this man (77) for more than a year, he has come to Thailand for her 3 times since a year ago, since the time she knew him she started working behind the bar. They got married for Budha on May 20, so nothing on paper! Within 3 weeks he got them to the point through his behavior (including promenading with other women and forbidding anything and everything) that she ran away herself. She had hoped that someone could take care of her and get out of that bar life. By the way, after searching the internet I found the following site http://www.thaiforeignspouse.com
She no doubt placed more value on that Buddha marriage while he no doubt knew it means NOTHING in divorce and division, inheritance, etc. Morally not fresh of him!!
However, the question remains whether there is no history with a 39-year-old from before the bar???!!!
Apparently from behind the bar he quickly found someone to cry to.
Thailandblog will continue to have a long life if one continues to read such stories
continues to publicize. Hopefully this won't get the better of us.
Are you serious? Then it seems obvious to me that she has no rights and she (and he) will know that too. Now I don't know how she arranged everything financially together in the relationship: did he give her pocket money so that she no longer had to work (whose idea/wish was it to stop working anyway?), who paid for the civil marriage and /or the possible sinsod? How long did they really live together under one roof? Were certain promises made to each other (about money, migration, etc.), How was the relationship broken? Why aren't they legally married (whose idea was that?). Did they get together out of love or were there other reasons for him or her (money, sex, attention, etc.) - which could well be the case with such an age difference, although there are some whose partners are decades apart. and love is indeed the only or the most dominant reason for happy togetherness. – Etc.
Those are all things a person should know in order to judge whether the relationship has ended in a clean way or not. In the one extreme scenario, the man has paid all kinds of expenses (pocket money, stopped working at her insistence, wedding party and sinsod, etc.), they have hardly had any contact, a legal marriage was not really necessary from her and there was so little bonding/relationship while the man had to give a lot. On the other extreme, she did everything neatly, she stopped working at his insistence, he promised her pocket money and more, they lived together since the beginning under the same roof and did everything for him, would they soon be legally married and suddenly dumped her.
The truth is probably somewhere in the middle, so I can't pass judgment, although it seems a bit like she has been naive on certain points (be it "forgetting to legally marry" or wanting him to give her money when there was never one). promises were made.) or that she started pushing for more (security or money) and he ran off because he wasn't willing to.
Short version: no real marriage, no contract etc so legally they have nothing to expect or demand from each other. Whether it all went smoothly socially is another matter.
The story will have 2 sides but you will probably only hear 1.
She 39 he 77.
And she goes from in front of the bar to behind the bar??? Most of the ladies who work behind the bar also go with customers. As long as such a lady still works in a bar, she will still have a regular clientele. Chances are she's not too fresh herself either. The whole bar is in the loop in that case, all the ladies know about the boyfriend and she keeps quiet when he's in the country, but continues happily when he's gone. And otherwise she will keep a few home visit addresses. Those ladies usually don't bet on 1 horse 😉
If she really wanted to, she would have stopped working in the bar at that point. No customers is no baht and she doesn't make that much in a bar if she doesn't go with farang.
Don't forget that the ladies are usually good drama queens. If hubby goes for a short time then the house is too small even if they do it themselves. If they can get away with it then it's usually what doesn't know what doesn't hurt.
Ruud, the advice I can give you is: "Go talk to that Australian", if you really want to get involved in this matter. Also important is how they got married.