We started a dating website (reader submission)
For years I have been anxiously looking forward to a new episode of Thailand blog and despite being happily married to a lovely Thai woman for years and know a lot about Thailand, I still learn something every time thanks to you and all readers' entries.
But now the next thing, and I hope this is allowed. We are a Dutch/Thai couple and we already have several Thai ladies, you know, girlfriend of girlfriend, sister of girlfriend, niece, aunt, etc. who ask if we might know a good Dutch farang for them.
Of course we help, but it takes a lot of time and the offer is also increasing, so we opened a website (still a bit amateurish because I had never done that before, but that will soon improve) where Dutch and Belgian men of 50 plus who are seriously looking for a sweet, good and caring Thai lady (or gentleman etc.) for a serious relationship can respond.
So this is not (like many) a dating site with hundreds of photos with fashion models and blurry info or control. We have a kind of matchmaking website where we look for a real person who suits you as much as possible.
We already have quite a few ladies in our database and we know a lot about their background.
I'd say take a look at our website thaicontact.nl and spread the word, of course we are also open to (positive 555) criticism, tips and suggestions.
Submitted by Gerard and Jib
Very nice initiative.
A few points of criticism on your website. The website is not secure. You should also ask someone who knows how to develop a website to do something about the design.
Goodday everyone,
The website is amateurish I know, I've never done this before, but one learns by doing.
But if there is someone who knows how to make a nice site out of this, of course not charging sky-high prices, then I would recommend it.
In this kind of business you should never leave the initiative to others because before you know it they will run off with your idea. Go to Google - type only 4 words in the search field, namely: build a good website, and there's plenty of homework!
Dear Gerard and Jib, wanting to start a dating site is already a huge challenge, building a good inviting website is another. Here's 'critique, tips and suggestions'.
There are many providers on the internet that can help you with the right web design. (For now) you have to rely on text. Please read it carefully and very critically. Also use spelling and especially grammar checks. Text in red capitals reads very blurry. You start with 'you' in the salutation, and then switch to 'you, you, you'. Remove the first two sentences in your explanation. It's not about discrediting other dating sites. Why set yourself against rogue websites from the start? Name your own strengths, not someone else's weaknesses.
Literally you say that the intention is to: make contact with the real “Thai”, who have to work 6 to 7 days a week up to 12 hours a day to make ends meet. Do those women even have time to date? And what about someone in education or at a bank branch or on an assembly line or with a civil service position? Don't they belong to the real "Thai"?
You continue with the sentence that those women 'obviously' desire a better future, 'want to grow old with you, share joys and sorrows, take care of you', and 'want to work in the Netherlands in order to help with the monthly costs'. . And: to be able to support the family. In that order. In short: you offer women who stand their ground and want little in return.
The “Thai” target group is clear, now the “Dutch”. You target men aged 50+. How so? Why? What to do with someone 35, 40 or 45 years old? Is it out of the boat? Doesn't that match 50+ Thai women?
Finally, the costs: Euro 69 per contact. If you charge costs, this means that you do not regard the dating site as a hobby / pastime / hobby or from a friend service to the Thai women you know. You go into business. After all, you offer services against payment. Then registration with the Chamber of Commerce and a different approach by the Tax and Customs Administration are required.
Dear Soi,
Thank you very much for your response.
People learn by doing and we take all reactions / criticism to heart;
Here's a sketch of our target group, etc.
The intention is as follows,
Our target group is to bring the Dutch/Belgian 50+ single man into contact with a sweet and caring Thai lady, the ladies are in our database, and we also have personal contact with them.
The Dutch or Belgian (Dutch-speaking) man can contact us, pass on his "wish list", info and photo and then we will match on the information supplied and then contact both parties, and only after approval of both parties we are about to really pass on the contact so that people come into contact with each other.
We therefore also have (and maintain) personal contact with both the Thai lady and the Dutch/Belgian man in question.
You have an http:// web address. Provide a secure https:// website.
With HTTPS, security is tighter because data is sent encrypted. This is done with an SSL certificate. With HTTP you can view messages that are intercepted without the message having to be decrypted.
Anyway, good luck. Gradually it will all work out.
Gerard must be careful about 'working in Thailand' without a work permit, if you both live in Thailand.
Dear Gerard and Jib,
Congratulations in advance on your initiative.
If I may, I would like to make some comments.
First and foremost, the formatting is a bit old-fashioned. No menu structure as well as the color choice is anything but attractive.
As mentioned above, the connection to your server is not encrypted, this is really 'not done' these days. I would still opt for an HTTPS connection.
Good advice, and this is really well meant, if you want to achieve some success, it will have to look a bit more professional. Today's customers are picky.
As you know, a Farang is curious about what his 'new girlfriend' looks like. A first impression is already leading. Exchanging photos with the administrator of the website is not a good idea in my opinion (but who am I …). Fake profiles are of course an annoying phenomenon, but nothing prevents you from giving the interested ladies a place on the website (possibly with very brief information about themselves).
Personally, I would approach it a bit differently. Take a look at other dating sites (in terms of layout ...) and keep the management in your own hands. You can perfectly shield the profiles of the ladies and keep them in your own hands.
Good luck.
rogers.
A very important comment is that of the tax authorities! If you ask for money, you absolutely must register with the Chamber of Commerce and that information (VAT no. …) MUST be stated on the website.
If you live in Thailand (which is not clear from your message) you will not even be allowed to operate that website, unless all income is managed by your wife, who will then also pay taxes in Thailand.
A disclaimer must also be included about what happens to the personal data of the customers.
You see, just setting up a paying website at random is bound by a lot of rules and laws.
Before my retirement I also had 2 websites (paying) and once had a serious check after a customer complaint. My disclaimer was not correct. Your contact details (address, telephone number, email must also be clearly stated). Unfortunately, it is not all as simple as it seems.
And please work on that HTTPS connection, especially if personal data is forwarded. Before you know it you will be stormed by hackers and fake requests.
Lots of good cheer!
It will be a storm with 69 euros per contact.
Is this really necessary Josh?
The questioner benefits from advice and positive criticism, not sarcastic remarks. Sorry to read that again.
I wish Gerard and Jib every success with this great initiative. This will be fine with the necessary support.
Dear Willy,
Thanks for your reply.
We have already received many positive reactions by e-mail, of course there are also negative reactions, we take everything to heart and since we are still in a start-up / interest phase, we will do everything we can to make everyone happy as much as possible.
This is also very different from randomly clicking on pictures on certain websites of women who, for example, have a nice nose and then try to get in touch and from whom you might get some general information after a while.
That information has not been checked by anyone, now I also know that not everything can be checked, but we do that as much as possible.
A relationship usually does not last long on just a nice nose, the inner and the fit together, going through life through thick and thin seems to me a lot more important.
And if the “personality match” is there and the Thai lady also likes it, the man will first receive information and photos from the Thai lady(s) before proceeding to a real contact.
The photos of the ladies are also real, unmade photos, photos of what they look like in everyday life.
Dear Gerard and Jib,
The website looks very unprofessional and simply amateurish and the site is also unsecured.
Any self-respecting dating site should have photos and descriptions of Thai ladies on file.
I allow myself the freedom to state that no Dutch man will transfer an amount of 69 euros without first having had any insight. In my view, the method used does not inspire any confidence and is even impossible for a dating site. You receive 69 euros, start matching, show the photo and description of the Dutch man to one of the women with whom you think there is a match. And if the Thai lady is interested, the Dutch man will receive a link to Whats App or Line. And if the match is not there, the Dutch man is thanked very much for the 69 euros.
Pay 69 euros again for a subsequent contact. Do you believe that this has any chance of success?
I also have little positive to say in terms of the communicative content of the website. Offer from Thai from friends and acquaintances?
Do you also offer the possibility of further guidance and assistance? Assume that a price will also be charged for that or is that included in the 69 euros? What does this guidance consist of?
Your website also states that the Thai lady is willing to come to the Netherlands to grow old together, to work in the Netherlands and to support the man financially? Do you have any idea what motivates Thai women to emigrate and leave their precious family behind? In the event that they do, it is to financially support their family in Thailand and not the man who in many cases has a paid job or already enjoys a Dutch pension / AOW as you write.
Finally, with reference to the paragraph above, I wonder whether you have any idea what it takes nowadays for a Thai woman to obtain a permanent residence permit for the Netherlands? It turns out not, I'm afraid.
The website was registered 9 days ago.
Maybe it would have been better to build the website properly first and then advertise it.
Those friends can also use Facebook, right?
Good luck with your venture.
Regards,
jos k.
Dear Gerard and Jib,
I have sent you my email response to [email protected] : )
First of all, congratulations for your initiative!
Anyone who has ever visited dating sites knows the problem of scammers and fake accounts. Nowadays it is already quite normal to correspond with a bot and AI has also made an appearance, so that it is difficult to find out who or what you are actually 'contacting'.
In that sense, your initiative is valuable.
However, much still needs to be done.
You talk about a website. With more than 20 years of experience in building websites, I dare to say in all modesty that you cannot speak about website at the current presentation.
The publication is just a flawed HTML page and looks (sorry for the typing) very amateurish.
As someone has already indicated, the chosen color combinations are not optimal, navigation is missing and so many other things that belong to a website.
And then the rate charged.. I can only respond to that with a shrug.
There is nothing wrong with charging for services provided, but then the customer must have some confidence in the professionalism and sincere commitment.
This can be stimulated by posting reviews on a real website.
For the time being, it will remain with beautiful and undoubtedly well-intentioned words, but that would certainly not tempt me to do business with you at the moment.
So work on the shop!
Best of luck!
* You give the impression that you intend to offer help to 'friends and acquaintances', but meanwhile you charge € 69,=
* The website does not look good. So you acted hastily. Your website is very unsafe. You are not registered with the Chamber of Commerce and there are no company details on the website. You are breaking the law by doing so. Why not prepare it all properly first? Before you ask for money!
* If you ask for money, it must all look professional and comply with legal regulations. Now you are punishable with this approach!
* I get the impression that you want to make money under the guise of 'us knows us'. Then you don't make a serious impression with me, in fact I don't trust it.
Dear Gerard and Jib,
Although I have some difficulty taking this posting and your website seriously, I still want to respond.
I can imagine that the idea of starting something like this has probably been with you for some time and that you eventually take the plunge and say: and now we're going to do it too!
But I strongly advise you, if you're really serious, to take this site off-line immediately.
You are actually embarrassing yourself and depriving yourself of the chance to try again later, but seriously.
About 25 years ago I went online myself with a webshop.
I was quite handy with graphic design and my web host had all kinds of software available (and your web host most likely also included an SSL certificate for https) to build a somewhat professional looking website.
Including payment options (Ideal did not exist yet) a contact form, database, etc.
When things finally started to take off, I soon noticed that building and maintaining a website, including the legal provisions mentioned here by other legal provisions, is not an amateur business.
And a little website then quickly cost € 15.000 to € 20.000 and I paid that too, against will and thanks.
And if you're not willing to do that and don't have someone in your own circle of friends who might be willing or able to do it for a bargain price, then just get over it.
At Strato, apparently your web host, you can really do a bit more with the Strato-Editor than what you are showing now, and the SSL certificate is also included for free.
I have a bit of the feeling that the website has been requested, free of course, and that without putting too much effort into it, things have been cobbled together far too quickly and the thing will and must be online, today! !!! And rap a little.
Well, if the quality of your service is just like that, then forget it!
I have not looked at the site, but I have already read about the structure. I myself have a little "experience" with building a website and this is anything but easy.
I think it is a good initiative that you want to have a mediation agency with the intention of bringing people together honestly and sincerely.
But I would still invest some money in a web designer. Don't do it yourself. There are people who can put everything together for you, who have also learned for it or who have years of experience. Then such a website can also go well.
You have to see one separately from the other. You commission someone to build a website and you provide the information about how you want it. Then it will work much better.
What I find strange is that you are talking about the "real" Thai, the person who lives in poverty? Or goes through life through hard work? And someone from the middle class or even a Thai who has a little money, is not a real Thai? Why must some people always say that the real Thailand is the poor Thailand, the countryside. It is simply one of many aspects in Thailand. Real is what is and not what you think it should be. Every Thai is a real Thai whether rich or poor.
Dear Gerard,
No, unfortunately, this is not the way to make money. It may come across as harsh, but I don't call this a website. This is a quickly cobbled together text that you absolutely do not lure customers with.
Good advice, if you don't have the necessary qualities to get something decent out of the ground yourself, consult some professionals who know what starting a business really means. This of course costs some money, but you cannot ignore it.
If you charge money for certain services, then you are OK with NOTHING with such a website. Do you even know what you have to put in order to be allowed to ask for money? Trading involves much more than collecting some pennies and having them deposited into your own account. I also advise you to inform yourself about your legal obligations.
I sincerely hope that, in view of the above comments, you are well aware that you will not achieve anything at all as things stand now. I read above that you should take everything back offline as soon as possible, I would also recommend this advice. Then you limit the damage somewhat.
Inform yourself properly and start again from scratch. I think there are people who would like to help you with this one.
My comment may not be nice but really well-intentioned. I hope you guys get this off the ground because the idea behind it isn't bad. Unfortunately, the execution failed.
It's hard not to comment very negatively. A few pieces of advice:
– if you offer a service, describe it well so that someone knows very well what you will offer as a service provider and add value
– it may also be that you want to serve or help a niche – say so in a positive way
– you can also describe the age discrimination (and therefore exclude, for example, someone aged 40 or 35) much better by saying where your focus lies in terms of service
– you cannot call a page a website. It's not at all of this time. If you already want or have to make it yourself, you can also use WordPress, for example, which offers many templates and also looks 100 times more professional
– you need visual material to create an atmosphere – now it is downright bad
– make examples of profiles so that men have an image – you can also put this behind a login, so that people cannot just browse and you keep more control. As a man you also want to have an image of and you also have your own preferences. Now it seems like it's an easy way of someone knows someone and then we put them in touch - cash register 69 euros. Not very credible in terms of service.
– look carefully at other sites that offer such a service. Then you will see that you have to lure people in, but above all you have to explain clearly what you get or don't get. Those sites make a lot of money and are doing something right. You can view/copy it
– quickly get your “site” off the air, because this is not advertising
– https is a prerequisite – now not secure. Was possible in 1990, but not anymore.
All in all, I think it was a nice plan, but the execution was far below par. Think about it and get good advice. And then provide a website that is like advertising instead of what can be seen now.
Dear Gerard,
You tell us “have a look at our website” but there is little or nothing to do. Just some plain text and a button to send you an email.
I'm afraid you'll have to tap into something else to motivate people to do business with you. Visually there is absolutely nothing to experience. A professional website should look attractive.
If I were to start such an initiative, I would at least post a photo of the available ladies. This can be perfectly secured so that no photos can be posted by the members themselves.
The cost price you ask for your service is 69 euros/contact. Which service? What do you get in return. And for each lady you would have to cough up the same amount. Sorry, but this is terribly expensive.
Age discrimination is also illegal. Even the 15 year age difference is unheard of. You can't judge that, that's the choice of the couple themselves.
You will match the couples yourself? Have you received professional training for this? On the basis of what criteria will this be done? A very bad idea if you ask me.
I can't get rid of the impression that you think in a very quick way to make a lot of money. Apart from the fact that you may not just start a professional activity, I am sure that, how the website is now offered, you will not be able to convince any customer.
It is encouraging that you want to make this initiative known and that you are open to tips, suggestions and even comments. Given the many comments from the members, you will realize that the underlying idea may be well-intentioned, but the professional execution of it has completely failed.
I'd have a good look. All this must be properly framed and should certainly not be made public under the current circumstances. Do your homework, show your work to some friends/acquaintances and only publish it when everything is almost finished.
As a reader of the Thailand blog, I came across your “site” out of curiosity.
I am not looking and have been living in Thailand for more than 20 years.
I initially believed in your honest intentions to "help friends and family find a partner". I have also often had such requests from my environment and I have never responded to them.
It is, I think, impossible to determine for someone else which partner is right for them. It's hard enough to figure it out for yourself.
I must say that I find the choice of the amount for making a contact ridiculous. Not only about the size of the amount for just a promise of finding someone who fits you, but I would in any case change the amount to exclude any sexual association. It was there that I began to have some doubts about intentions.
Nice initiative though.
Yes, even after all those negative reactions.
I understand the idea, I also just want an honest Thai lady who is not after your money, but wants a bit of security, I've heard it before. Hard to find (I think).
As already said, website needs to be improved. I'm a web designer myself, and yes, this is not possible. But even without experience, you can make a nice website nowadays. Put in some more time 😉
Before I would pay, I would first want to see x number of potential ladies. Before contacting 1. Anyway, who am I 🙂
Dear Bloggers,
I think there has been enough commentary now. We already know that the website does not look professional and our best friend Gerard has already indicated this in his response above.
I think the underlying purpose of this initiative is worth continuing.
Hereby the suggestion to switch to a POSITIVE attitude with all of us and to put a heart to Gerard and Jib. There are plenty of commercial dating sites that make tons of money. This small-scale initiative certainly deserves a place on the internet.
I read a number of reactions above from people who have the professional knowledge to take this project to a higher level. Well, maybe Gerard can help, giving (positive) comments may be well intentioned, but that won't help him. Offer your help without obligation. I think there are a lot of retirees hanging around here who have plenty of time. Join hands!
To everyone, have a nice day!