A few weeks ago I wrote an article about the leprosy of my wife and myself. After a short illness, my wife passed away on 1-9-2020. Not from leprosy, but from a bacterial infection in the blood.
The farewell has been. In addition to the emotional side, which I want to take plenty of time for, I also have to sort out and arrange a number of things.
I would like to submit a number of topics to (experience) experts for advice and information before I go to Thai authorities with family. I haven't googled extensively to find answers where I'm spouting half-truths.
I hope for positive, constructive responses. If possible with an email address: [email protected] otherwise I have to search the website every day, in this hectic time, for hopefully comprehensive answers. Of course you can also use it on the website to help others.
It may not be a very structured piece in this difficult time. You probably want to break it down into different topics. Visa is the most important thing for now. Thank you in advance.
1. Visa
See here: www.thailandblog.nl/visumquest/thailand-visaquest-nr-145-20
2. The house
Because I never expected this to happen so quickly and so young, we didn't arrange anything. The house was built about 7 years ago for our Thai legal marriage about 5 years ago. Financed by me but there will be no further proof of that. The land it is built on belongs to her mother, the house is in my wife's name. My wife has a 21 year old son who lives in the house. I have not acknowledged him or something. Together with my wife I have a 5 year old daughter. What are the options now:
- Can I get the house in my own name? Should some kind of contract be drawn up with her mother, the owner of the land?
- Can the house be registered in the name of my daughter who is a minor?
- Should it be in the son's name with a contract that I can continue to live there?
- Any other options?
- Links to other sources of information or lawyers?
3. Car
It's really just a small thing but good. The car is also registered in my wife's name. I think I read that it is possible to get it in your own name. How should this be? I have a Thai driver's license. Is the insurance for the car or in the owner's name? The name should also be changed.
4. Learning the language quickly
I know a little bit of Thai with which I can get by in the shop or have a very short chat. Other than that I did everything with my wife. With google translate I can now come to terms with the family. But to really be able to live (if I decide to stay here) in a small village I have to be able to speak the language better and also read and write. I started earlier with a book and CDs but still need to master this. There is no language school or similar nearby. Anyone have any tips?
5. The emotional side
My wife passed away after a short illness at the age of 41. Together we have a 5 year old daughter. We live in a small village and opposite the family (mother and my wife's sister) During this period I am well helped. I don't know what I want to do now. Stay in Thailand or return to the Netherlands? I want to take the time to make that decision, maybe half a year.
Our daughter is still young, 5 years old. Although it will be a difficult period, she may be able to adapt quickly in the Netherlands. She is now well taken care of by my sister-in-law and friends of my wife. I do want to introduce her to more of the world than just the village and to give her a good education. I need to be able to further integrate (learn the language better) in a small village where hardly any English is spoken or there are activities. Also to be able to help my daughter with homework, for example.
During my wife's illness I sat by her bedside 24/7 in a Thai hospital. I do have Thai insurance myself, but no comprehensive expat insurance for private hospital. I have to be able to rely on someone to take care of me.
Perhaps there are readers who have experienced or know of a similar situation? What did you do then and what was your motivation for doing it?
Submitted by Jan Si Thep
Condolences with this loss.
Dear Jan,
I'm sorry I can't help you further, but your story here has moved me to tears.
It just proves how fragile life is.
I wish you a lot of strength and I hope you will make the right choices for yourself and for you
your daughter who now has to do without mom…
Good luck Jan!!!
good luck Jan
and my condolences on the loss of your wife
May god bless you and your family
Condolences with this loss
Good luck for the future from me too.
First of all my condolences to Jan on the unexpected loss of your wife. You have been left with many valid questions. First of all, I would like to address your question regarding the Thai language.
Of course you want to learn to speak, read and write the Thai language in order to stand stronger in Thai society. This is not a short-term issue, then you will soon be a year or so further after hours of study.
I myself taught the Thai language in Udonthani to older expats, of various nationalities, so in English to Thail. This was low-basic, so for everyday speech. That's the beginning and just pull ahead quite a few units of time before you can carry on a conversation in the daily things and affairs. Followed a course here 3 times at different schools, can't really be enthusiastic about it, Thai people have been brought up in a different education system and that does not match our expectations.
Your other questions are aimed at security of existence in Thailand. Visa, house, car. You are also considering a possible return to the Netherlands. Visa is a money issue, if you have enough income, it should not be a problem to continue a retirement visa for single people. House and car, depend on the goodwill of the family, your rights are minimal.
The key question is, of course, what do you want with your five-year-old daughter? What kind of a future do you want to give them?
The Netherlands or Thailand and what are your legal rights regarding that child. I think this is more important than visa, car and house. Finally, strength and wisdom for the near future. ([email protected])
All the best
I read your story with tears in my eyes. I would love to help but I don't know how. My condolences, I wish you strength in making your difficult decisions. Maybe it's too much to ask and you don't want to: would you mind posting a follow-up on how you're getting on and the decisions you're making for yourself, your daughter and the family? Lots of strength and wisdom for now and in the future.
Dear Jan Si Thep,
Your story has touched me and I wish you a lot of strength and God's blessings in coping with this loss. I hope you find/receive for yourself, as well as your daughter, that information that can answer all these questions, and more.
My deepest condolences to you and your daughter on this great loss.
Jan Si Thep, my son (Thai/Belgian) his mother passed away on July 21, 2020 in Hua Hin (48 years old). My son is entitled to practically everything she had, including the house. It's a hassle to get everything done on a legal basis. He went to a lawyer in Hua Hin , an Australian, and in about 10 weeks everything is legally in order. If you do it through the official Thai way, it will take a few months longer, and it is best that you also master the Thai language. If you have a lawyer living somewhere in your area, get some info, preferably a foreigner. You will be faster off via the Thai road. If you do it the Thai way, also see that the family is not going to run with everything. Good luck in these not so good days.
Jan Si Thep, I actually mean that it would be quicker to get rid of a lawyer than the Thai way.
Good luck
I wish you and your daughter all the best
Sorry for your loss…. good luck Jan ❤
Good luck Jan!
Your story touched me deeply as well. My condolences to you and your daughter and family. I hope in the bottom of my heart that everything will be okay soon for you.
My participation. Wish you, child and family strength.
First of all my condolences, I hope you get answers and the happiness for your daughter and your stepson.
I can only help you learn Thai, I do that through Thaipod101, Google it, self-study with support and not expensive per month or quarter.
Take the pay version and I pay just under 100 euros per quarter.
Good luck with everything.
Regards Robert
Hi Jan,
First of all, my condolences on this loss.
I don't know if I can help you but I also live in Phetchabun, 8 years old, between the Lotus and the Makro, and live with a Thai 24 years old.
You then at least have someone to talk Dutch with and 2 can know more than 1.
My email address is [email protected]
Good luck with everything.
Dear Jan, condolences for the loss of your loved one and for the children the loss of their mother. Unfortunately I can't help you with your questions, my dear also died suddenly and much too young (both of us only in our thirties), but that was here in the Netherlands. In Thailand she had no significant possessions. So no experience with the paper mill there.
Hopefully the answers will come 'by themselves', the first few months you probably live from day to day. Try to find some distraction in work, hobby or with others, but also throw everything down if you have to cry. No one will blame you for that. Whatever choices you are going to make for you and your daughter, don't force anything, with heart and mind only you can really determine what is probably the right thing. Hopefully you will know in a few months whether your future lies in Thailand or the Netherlands. Again, good luck!