How is it…. (1)
It is now 22 years ago that I met the Thai T. We lived together for 10 years and with her I have a 20-year-old son who has been living with me for 9 years now. With a clear conscience I can say that with her nothing is (still) what it seems.
I got to know T in the massage parlor in Haarlem and if there is one cliché in T's case, it is that you take the girl out of the bar, but you don't take the bar out of the girl. Though the bar was, in T's case, the massage parlour.
We (my son and I) still visit Thailand, but the “land of smiles” has changed beyond recognition in my opinion. It remains above all a fascinating country with beautiful nature, yet unexpected encounters and events. Through my son's (ex) in-laws, but also uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces and a half-brother, we follow the "developments" and changes.
When I first came there more than 21 years ago, a private school - for the children of the city residents and surrounding villages - was the pinnacle. Then came the motorcycle, a car and the credit card or vice versa, which was more common. Then the burger place, the Pizza Hut, the game console and the mobile phone to which they seem to be glued - even in shops.
Compared to what my son has acquired and is still acquiring in terms of knowledge here in the Netherlands at secondary education and now at the university of applied sciences, the level of education of the nephews and nieces is, to say the least, quite a bit less.
The village where my (ex) in-laws live has now been virtually abandoned by the younger generation. As soon as they reach secondary school age, they leave to come - if it is within a reasonable distance - on the weekends to be fed by mom and dad, to fish and especially (the men) to drink Mekong whiskey and kaychā to smoke.
Far too few young people follow technical training - which is really needed - and strangely enough, those I know who are well technically trained, choose - as soon as they have the opportunity - not to get their hands dirty anymore. They go into a trade or the service. Shame….
Recently, a nephew has completed a kind of social service. He has done almost nothing, but to be honest, he looks like a different person and has lost at least 30 kg, which was also very necessary.
However, the most recent events have made us think again whether we will still go to Thailand. A huge game-changer has recently taken place there - initiated by my ex - that has turned all relationships upside down (again).
Myself, before, during and now after the relationship with T- I have been so naive that I am still amazed, or bewilderment is closer to reality. I had a good job, I'm pretty smart and yet…., I went into it with butter and sugar and it “costed” me quite a bit.
I met T after dropping out of a tennis lesson in Haarlem. It was October, rainy and stormy. I -single male- 42 years old, drove past the massage parlor back home and saw the sign flashing "open" and decided to go in. I was really not "green", but I had never had a Thai massage. After another cigarette in the rain I decided to ring the doorbell. The door was opened by a sturdy Thai who turned out to be the Mama-San. That was against the image I had in my head of slender, lightly tanned beauties.
The Mama-San took me to the living room and luckily, there were 4 ladies as I had imagined. The girls jumped up from the couch at the same time, gave a blow and gave me a beautiful smile and said sawasdee kah in unison in a sweet voice. Wow, that was coming in. The Mama-San told me in her best Thenglish/Dutch that I could choose one girl or two and the ladies all had a lot of giggles…
To be continued
Enlightening because not an isolated case!
Good and realistic story. Well written. Wait for the sequel
I suspect that I too, when I still lived in NLD, have been to this massage parlor.
Very curious about the continuation of this story, dear Ruud 🙂
This first act alone sounds very familiar to me, as does a son (mine almost 18) who has been living with me for 9 years now after being married for 10 years and I am curious about the sequel … and I think that I can write the same book about this … I wonder….
So far a nice and very readable story and I assume open and honest.
Dear Joop,
Believe me, this was a run-up, it will take turns that still baffle me -12 years after we broke up.
I can't get rid of her either because we have a son together and even though he has almost no contact with his mother, there is a grandmother, uncle, aunts, the half brother, cousins and we still go there , although we have serious doubts about that. More about that in the sequel.
Regards,
Ruud.
I'm really looking forward to the sequel and the full story.
Because one thing is CERTAIN: they continue to surprise you with their unpredictable behavior.
But that's exactly what I find fascinating. As long as I keep my “accounts” under control, I can enjoy it.
?"She"?
Terribly derogatory, and what does a "neat" man do in a "massage parlor"?
Talk about Jeroen Brouwers' latest novel?
“He” should be ashamed to speak of Thai women, or of any nationality for that matter!
You should see them as writing language and a form of expression and what does a man do in a massage parlor? What does a lady do at a beauty salon?
Dear Miriam,
After 44 years of Thai experiences, I also have my opinion about, not all Thai women, but about many who deal with a farang.
Excessive drinking, gambling and cheating are unfortunately common.
There is a clear difference between the average Dutch woman and the Thai woman in the Netherlands and you should remember that the Thai woman who lives in the Netherlands is not representative of the Thai woman in Thailand.
compliments ! I'm curious about the sequel, but also where did it go wrong?
Nice, all right, looking forward to the sequel
This is the first time I've heard of someone getting into a relationship with a woman from a massage parlor in the Netherlands. Apparently that is also possible, if you are lucky.
Looking forward to the sequel.
'I myself have been so naive - before, during and now after the relationship with T - that I am still amazed by it, or bewilderment is closer to reality. I had a good job, I'm reasonably smart and yet... I went into it with butter and sugar and it "cost" me quite a bit.
An extremely traditional story. The way it almost always ends.
About training in technical professions, I recently heard that the 18-year-old 'Isan' cousin of my Thai friend did his internship (lasts a school year) at the end of his car mechanic training for a year at Kentucky Fried Chicken in Bangkok. According to his parents, on behalf of the school. In reality due to their illusion that service jobs that also rely on farangs would yield more money. Better-off students can then choose from one of the hundreds of 'universities' in Thailand that are not recognized anywhere in the world and where the level of education is equivalent to the curriculum of a 1 to 13 year old here. Of course without any training in English or another language. But that is not new either. That was also the case 14 years ago. But I didn't see it yet or I was too naive for it.