Daily Life in Thailand: A True Story (Part 1)
People sometimes ask me 'What do you do all day?' This question is asked not so much out of interest in my personal well-being, but rather out of a kind of well-intentioned curiosity, half-assuming that I spend my time (at least mostly) in idleness, if not worse, for people know the reputation of the country where I reside, and in particular the place where I live.
Although I have to admit that I don't always choose sensible activities (that's the advantage of being out of work), there are also many things I do that you can say 'Well, hats off! I didn't know life is so demanding there!' To illustrate, here is a true story. The facts are correct; the conditions are somewhat embellished here and there.
This is the account of how the apple of my eye, commonly referred to as "Sweetheart," finally received three "rings of emerald" for a birthday, plus a few other trifles. "Why three for God's sake?" you rightly ask. Well, it started like this: the apple of my eye had heard from a soothsayer here that emerald was the birth-stone, and that it would be advisable to wear an emerald.
Fortune tellers here are part of the culture. Unfortunately, it is not a protected profession. It can be anyone, but of course some results are needed first that go a little (but not really much) beyond, for example, the prediction that the sun will rise in the east tomorrow and set in the west.
Because such a prediction is not very successful here, it is better to predict 1 or more digits of the winning ticket in the state lottery, or even better: to win a prize in the lottery. Certainly if that is a hefty price, people will automatically come to you for advice, and at the same time try to see inside and outside your house whether there are perhaps virtually illegible, and therefore secret, numbers in trees in your yard, or on your terrace, or on ready garbage, or on any other living or dead thing.
Well known here is the incident of the man who scattered the ashes of his deceased wife in a forest, only to find a half-rotten trunk with (according to him) a few numbers that subsequently won him the main prize in the lottery. Since that time, that forest has been a true place of pilgrimage where hardly a tree grows, of course. Gambling is in the blood of Asians, so what better than getting a little help beforehand?
emerald rings; I was shocked by the prices
Well, the fortune teller's statement could not be ignored, and I was therefore regularly alerted in an extremely charming way to the fact that something with emerald should also be produced, 'preferably in ring form'.
Unfortunately I was not aware of this very important fact earlier, because then I would not have given the apple of my eye rings with the necessary brilliants, assuming that they would be 'the best friends'. Of course I should have researched this beforehand. Own fault, so, and continue.
So when we were in Hong Kong for a short holiday shortly after this weighty advice, I surreptitiously looked at rings with emeralds. Or rather, actually only once, because the prices (usually higher than brilliants) shocked me so much that I subsequently kept our party (there were four of us, and I acted as guide) as far as possible from jewelry stores. No small feat in Hong Kong, by the way, where almost every street has several.
We therefore often had to cross quite suddenly and were pointed out several times by extremely correct police officers to the pedestrian crossings present for this purpose. My American friend and I understood these hints, but our Thai party said nothing, because Thais do whatever comes to mind in traffic.
You can see them going in all directions at all times. This sometimes causes problems, especially at night. Thailand therefore has, pro rata, one of the highest numbers of road casualties in the world.
Shortly after returning to Thailand, I visited a bookstore in a local shopping center and saw that on the ground floor about thirty jewelers had their wares displayed in stalls. Ah, interesting, so let's take a look. Yes, also with emeralds. After a few stalls I was offered a very nice ring that after some haggling and bidding came to an attractive price. What a difference with Hong Kong! It did me good to live in Thailand again.
Always family business, with Moe in sales
There you go, that job was done again. I was extremely pleased with the result, and planned to give the apple of my eye the ring as a birthday present in about three months. The heart-shaped box looked extremely tasteful to Thais: bright red imitation velvet on plastic.
I caught myself still not sharing this taste. So there is still a lot to be developed, I thought. Being in fortunate circumstances, I could therefore afford the luxury of looking around a bit further.
As with all the gold and jewelry stores here, I wasn't surprised they were all staffed by Chinese Thais. Always family business, with Moe selling, assisted like a hen by her brood and one or more slaves, and Pa rumbling somewhere in the background. As a rule, the life of Chinese roosters is subject to a strict regime of hardship at home and at work.
As a rule, Moe has a tight grip on the reins in both places. There is therefore not much left for Pa to do than to go on tours with the Benz, to drink drinks with fellows to tell each other great stories, and to visit one or more girlfriends with a certain regularity, whether or not at his expense. housed in a nice little apartment, because Moe usually (after enough chicks have been taken care of) prefers to give birth to bad eggs.
A hard existence, in other words, and in some respects quite comparable to the life of the average foreigner here, because he doesn't really have anything to say, except to other foreigners.
Ah, what a beautiful ring!
A few stalls before the end, my eye fell on an even more beautiful ring, this time surrounded by small brilliants. Ah, what a beautiful ring! Too bad I already had the other one in my pocket. Still wondering how much it would cost. Purely for comparison, of course. Asking price twice as high as the first ring. Ridiculous, of course! More as a joke, I showed the girl who helped me that I didn't have more than half that amount in the purse.
'One moment, please,' she said immediately in a most charming way. Thais are true masters of this art, and if they really wanted to, they could conquer the world with their charm. It is truly irresistible to us Westerners. Their charm is literally disarming, because even the coarsest guns that you want to deploy at a large gram melt immediately.
Yes, sometimes there is, unfortunately, cause for gram here. I will not go into details, but suffice it to say that this is at most a few times a week, so that is actually not too bad, partly in view of the climate here.
A little later the girl came back with the message 'OK, you can have the ring.' I was really perplexed. Such a nice ring for (relatively, then) zo little money? How is it possible! Of course you can't let such an opportunity pass you by; impossible! You would be a thief out of your own pocket. On top of that, the girl gave me a most charming and hopeful look, of course.
Oh well, it could actually be. Spending in Hong Kong had been limited because we had been there too short to spend much, and also because my American friend was so stingy. He calls it 'business', by the way. So that was already a reserve that I hadn't really counted on.
Of course I could also have used the savings to bring my savings up to par after the rather heavy loss due to the purchase of a car for the apple of my eye, now about three months ago. Oh well, this little bit of money doesn't help with that either, so don't complain. Just let yourself go, man!
Attention, Interest, Desire, Action
So now I had two. This one is also packed in an extremely tasteful plastic-with-bright red-imitation-velvet box, this time square. Although I was very happy with the second purchase, I thought about how dangerous it is to start bidding (in any form).
I suddenly remembered the first lesson I had learned about sales tactics in a previous career as a buyer. All part of the ancient AIDA principle: Attention, Interest, Desire, Action.
"Guerra, guerra!" humming from Aida, I continued on my way, the scenery from the performance in Verona on my mind. Oh, how beautiful that was. Pharaohs also had a lot of jewels with green and gold in them, I thought. How happy will the apple of my eye be with these unexpected gifts, or would my Sweetheart (knowing me better than anyone) already know that it wouldn't be long before there would be 'a jewel of emerald'?
Don't know. As always, I find 'giving' much more beautiful than 'receiving'. Even the anticipation is a gift in itself. Completely satisfied now, and happy (how wonderful is happiness), and penniless, of course, I could easily resist the temptation of the owner of the next stall who handed me a whopping emerald. "Colombian," she said, as if I didn't know that most emeralds come from there. Asking price only 400.000 baht.
Here the Thais are constantly laughing at you
I joked with her by saying that I thought this whopper was from Saudi Arabia. Years ago, a Thai servant of a Saudi prince had stolen about 50 kilos of top-quality, but especially very large, jewels there, of which only a small part was returned, although a larger part was confiscated by the police, and then disappeared without a trace. has been 'lost'. During all this, several murders have been committed, and careers broken.
Even intensive contacts between the Saudi and Thai governments and court cases have not cleared up this affair, and relations between the two countries have remained 'frozen' to this day.
A final batch of jewels was found in a plastic bag hung from a tree after an anonymous tip, no doubt because the illegal owner was convinced that these jewels, given the murders, involved bad luck, which should always be avoided if you like gambling.
The owner did not appreciate this joke in the least, and her husband, chatting in the background, also sent reproachful looks. A rare display of feeling, because Thais are always smiling. Often that laughter does not mean something is fun, but serves to hide real feelings such as anger and embarrassment, or to provide a distraction.
Many foreigners here wrongly think that they are only really recognized as accomplished comedians in Thailand. In Europe you could never laugh, but here the Thais are constantly laughing at you. So on stage. This is one of the reasons why not a small number of them marry a Thai.
Only after a while does it penetrate their, as a rule already thick skin, that it is not quite what they had previously imagined. Unfortunately, all possessions are often already in their wife's name, because that was easier to arrange than in your own name, and your wife preferred it that way. Anyone can fill in the rest.
Literally shit-to-run! Potztausend
Slightly cooled, I therefore took the last hurdles for the exit that was already in sight. And then something happened that I really didn't expect. Would you believe it?
In actually the penultimate stall I saw a unique ring with a large square emerald, surrounded by brilliants, the whole set in an octagonal gold frame. Literally shit-to-run! Potztausend; after all this too….
Although I had seen another very nice emerald ring of about the same size during my round, the price tag for it was no less than 100.000 baht. Hello, can't it be a little less? Impracticable and prohibitively expensive, even with a significant discount. Besides, I already had two, so I could easily resist the temptations of the shopkeeper who three times offered to take the ring out of the cabinet.
Would it really look so good on me that I would love to buy the ring? Exaggerated, you know, because I think I approached the offer correctly (and rightly so) with a very appropriate distance. Especially considering the price, I could say goodbye to it after some delay (that is), but it was very beautiful!
Martin Brands
Martin Brands (MACB) has been living in Thailand for 20 years, very happy with his Sweetheart. He spends most of his time on humanitarian projects. Martin worked for a large multinational and previously lived in the United States and France. He describes himself as a workaholic, organizer and super-busy.
To be continued….
– Reposted message –