Thai obligations

Retired or not, a person has obligations, even in the land of smiles. But hey, what is a little bit of administration when you have plenty of time. However, things can sometimes go differently than desired.

For example, De Inquisitor was ready to renew his driver's licenses, car and motorcycle. Every five years, so you have long forgotten the conditions you have to meet and often you are confused, our own 'farang' fault because there are a lot of cafe stories floating around the internet.

The Inquisitor first starts planning: a driver's license expires on your birthday. That's the end of July for him, and lo and behold, lucky he's on time because there just happens to be some holidays coming up. King's Birthday and a Big Buddha Day, all public services are suspended. So he set a date early enough to make things right, bearing in mind that you can renew at most thirty days before expiration and that some of the necessary forms must only be a few days old or they will no longer be accepted.

Do you have to collect some forms, Thailand loves bureaucracy. But which? De Inquisitor does not find a single nice list on the internet, but it must be said, he is not a patient man. But proof of residence is required in any case, which must be obtained at the Immigration Office. Sakon Nakhon in this case, driving ninety kilometers. Passport photos too, of course, after thirteen years of living here there must be a mountain of photos of De Inquisitor lying around somewhere, but they have no mercy, new ones are a must. That's a piece of cake: there are plenty of photo shops in the town.
Then there is doubt. Medical certificate or not? The messages are confusing, one says yes, the other no. Knowing Thailand, De Inquisitor knows that local differences are easily possible. And the fact that people are gradually starting to become stricter makes him suspect that it might be mandatory. So The Inquisitor decides for sure, he also goes for this piece of paper.

A medical certificate must be issued by a doctor and that is quite different here in the deep countryside than in a big city. The hospital in the town could work, but that will take De Inquisitor three to four hours, he knows. No matter what time of day you come there, there are crowds of people for consultation. He once counted the seats there out of boredom when he was a driver for a villager. One hundred and eleven chairs. And they are always full, there are usually many people leaning against the wall. Would-be patients accompanied by their family supporters, but still, at least fifty men who need the doctor. Look for an alternative then. The sweet is friends with a doctor who mans a small first aid station in a neighboring village. Can you call him tee rak?

No, he cannot and must not. Do you have to go to the hospital. Damn. Suddenly De Inquisitor remembers a somewhat larger clinic, a typical phenomenon in the area here. They can do a bit more there than in such a small medical post. The Inquisitor once visited when he had contracted a serious cold during a cold fortnight in the winter. But there is always a mass of people there, of course.
But behold, the gods are with The Inquisitor. He passes by after a shopping round for the shop, he was already doubting whether I should or not – and notices that they are just opening. Shutters up, no one is queuing. And yes, they can provide the certificate here! Moreover, De Inquisitor hopes, given his doctor phobia, that he will get it immediately, just like that. But no, he must inexorably go to the doctor.

Friendly man, as much English as De Inquisitor Thai can, so that's no problem. A laundry list of questions, whether The Inquisitor is on medication? No. Does he sometimes feel weak and tired? No. Muscle pains or others? No. Never a headache? No.
And then, aaah, physical examination. Measuring bloodpressure. Ai, The Inquisitor occasionally dares to put his arm in such a machine when he ends up in the local hospital as a driver. And that blood pressure is constantly too high. But behold, "perfect sir!". Oof.
Hammer tap on the knee for the reflexes. OK, works well, The Inquisitor laughs at those unwanted movements. Then eavesdrop on heart and lungs. Ai. The Inquisitor is a smoker. But here too, no problem, and after half an hour De Inquisitor has his medical certificates, because he wants two because he does not want to take the risk that no copies will be accepted. Besides, XNUMX baht each, you can't go wrong.

The next day he sets off, as the first passport photos. Who for the first time do not conjure up any kind of mafia figure. And luckily it thinks along, because she too has to renew her motorcycle license - fortunately without all that paperwork. Copies of your passport! Oh yes, they can here too. Immediately enough, because De Inquisitor has to renew his annual visa within a month and a half. The bill is slightly higher – two hundred and seventy baht.
Immediately on to Immigration in Sakon Nakhon, ninety kilometers away. It's sweet a bit worried because there is a storm warning, moreover it has been raining heavily for days. A heavy, dark cloudy sky, but it stops threatening, there is no rain. Yet you see that not too much water is needed to cause flooding, rivers, pools and rice fields are drowned.

The Sakon Immigration Office has changed. Gone is the friendly, the family. Top bureaucracy, the official is in charge and you will wait. Only they forgot to add some kind of sequential number system and it's coming and going. With irritating ladies who like to crawl in front. After half an hour it's De Inquisitor's turn. “Certificate of residence please”. huh? The man on duty apparently falls from the sky. Someone else calls in, The Inquisitor has to go to the more hidden offices behind the scenes. Where an annoying little officer, with cropped hair, costume full of decorations on the chest, listens sullenly to The Inquisitor his supervisor. He doesn't even look at The Inquisitor and shakes his head no. The attendant asks The Inquisitor to go back and wait. After fifteen minutes he comes back with the message that the guy who can make these certificates is not there. Located in Kalasin. That is one hundred and fifty kilometers away…. Wait about two hours. Well, The Inquisitor's mood immediately drops, but leaving is not an option, that is driving one hundred and eighty kilometers for nothing.

After an hour and a half someone comes to get The Inquisitor and takes him back to that annoying little officer. Who wants his passport and starts filling out the form… . It won't be true, will it? Kl##tzak. It gets worse. Five minutes later he presents the forms, yes, two more, that risk of copying, isn't it. And asks for a thousand baht.
The Inquisitor is perplexed at so much guts and malice. His brain works at lightning speed, what to do about it? Well, you can start making your ears at that moment, but you have to be helped back here again and again. The only thing The Inquisitor can say is . The officer, barely six feet tall, takes the Inquisitor's passport from the table and puts it out of reach. Says nothing, just a fake smile. OK, The Inquisitor is a victim of corruption here. Just pay.
The first fifteen minutes of the ride back is in minor, even the sweet finds it scandalous.

Sixty-five kilometers further we stop in Pankon where they issue the driver's licenses. And hooray! Everything goes wonderfully smoothly here. We can enter immediately, carry out the tests and watch television, warnings and accidents, for an hour and a half. Back to the counter on the ground floor where they take pictures again, wait a while and the new driver's licenses are ours. And you can't resist the price: three hundred and five baht for a motorcycle license, five hundred and fifty five for the car.
That makes us both happy again, a food stop a la Isaan where the sweetheart laughs to death at the sight of The Inquisitor who now has to eat very spicy things and hopelessly returns from the toilet - here it is even too primitive for him for a big message.

Back home, we keep the shop closed, she talks sweetly to her youngest sister who lives in Bangkok and works at the … Anti-Corruption Office there.
She reports what happened to us at Immigration. Well, The Inquisitor should have been smarter. Simply, when asked for a thousand baht, he should say one need. They have to, they are required to. Should other people join in, there will be a fuss without making noise or causing loss of face. Does that duty officer have a choice: either he writes them out at a thousand baht and then he is screwed. Because with that you can move on. Or, he admits and charges the normal amount, one hundred and fifty baht each. You can also go further if you refuse to write them an invoice, because they must always have a duplicate in their accounting – remember, you should always sign an invoice yourself.
Oh yes, and you can sue an Immigration Office if they don't post a full price list. But De Inquisitor does not start with that, although there is only a limited list in Sakon.
Oh yes, and luckily he didn't work with copies. They must indeed have the originals, both the proof of residence and the medical certificate.

So you see, quickly fix it? Hello, it takes some effort and hassle. But all's well that ends well. For the next five years anyway.