You experience everything in Thailand (234)
In the series of stories that we post about something special, funny, curious, moving, strange or ordinary that readers have experienced in Thailand today: Thai magic potion.
Thai potion
Years ago, when visiting the Isan home village of my wife Oy, we took a morning walk through the adjacent lanes. On the advice of my wife, I also pay a visit to neighbor Pi-Peng.
A little later it turned out that the neighbor was firing 'lao khao' together with some other, somewhat older ladies in the messy residential area. At least, the preparations were in full swing. Steaming pot on the fire, rice bubbling around in it, and empty bottles being rinsed to put in the local gin after distillation. Lots of laughter and chatter, definitely fun to see and experience.
Far removed from the very sweet nectar and ambrosia stuff that you often encounter as a traveler in Thailand. This was the real unpolished Isaan work. And for a farang who just took his first hesitant steps there, a godsend. So I thought.
ROUND OF THE HOUSE
Being a beer drinker from home, I also like a drink (of course only for medicinal purposes). So when the neighbor kindly inquired if the visiting farang would like to sample some of their brew, I said yes. Despite the early hour and the fact that it was already quite hot and stuffy in that moonshine yard.
The neighbor ducked into an adjacent shed and we followed. In the dim interior I made out dozens of pottery jars, sealed with thick plastic on the top, in which the precious 'elixir of the Isan' was kept.
A pot was uncorked and the neighbor fiddled with a large ladle. And a little later, with a radiant smile, pressed a gigantic long drink glass of lao khao into my hand. Really filled to the brim. To give you a bit of an idea, a thirsty camel would probably have circled it first, not entirely sure he could handle something like that.
The rice flakes were still floating in it and this was apparently the unfiltered version. It was more like thin rice porridge and the same consistency. Took a careful sip and to my surprise: great stuff. Blisteringly strong, but otherwise very good to chew! A bit sweet even, which I attributed to the flakes.
BLOOD HEAT AND COURTESY
However, when I then wanted to return the flower vase to the neighbour, Oy indicated that this was definitely not possible. It would be very rude and couldn't go back with the rest of the jar now that I'd drunk it!
There I was with my big farang mouth, at 10 o'clock in the morning in a sweltering hot room. With the expectant happy face of the neighbor in front of me and the sweat beading on the back. Also from the lao khao, by the way, because he kicked like a mule at this early hour.
If you're looking for another good recipe for homemade country troubles, try this scenario.
Spent the rest of that morning in blissful Isan daze, for I emptied the poison cup to the bottom. And actually managed to reach mother-in-law's house upright. Plopped down on the porch and saw the world from then on for a bagpipe, decorated with Thai accents.
The neighbor was delighted that I liked her brew, so Oy took over five bottles of the home-made brain softener in return. Didn't touch the stuff after that, but didn't have to worry about it either. Because the male members of the in-laws knew what to do with it.
And the best story that circulated in the evening while consuming this free alcohol?
Had something to do with the generous giver that fell into the neighbour's cauldron of potion.
Submitted by Lieven Kattestaart
If you're running out of money (anymore), but still want to get drunk, here's a tip.
Buy a small bottle of laokhao for 50-65 baht, depending on whether it has a green or blue label on it. I don't know the difference, the two versions seem identical.
Buy two cans of tonic with it. Make it gin tonics, I can't taste the difference with the real gin tonic.
For less than 100 baht you are under the table.
Count on being laughed at as a falang at the 7/11 cash register if you ask about laokhao. “Why not two bottles right away?” or “Why not the big bottle?”.
Laokhao has a mediocre reputation with both falang and Thai, but it is quite doable and no 'worse' than gin, vodka or jenever. Myanmar has its own kind of laokhao. A 'gin' tonic cost me 40 euro cents in a restaurant there. It was quite tasty.
Oh Lieven, you have typed out this experience beautifully and visually.
Lieven, another wonderful story from the ordinary Thai villages.
Lao Khao is illegally smoked and drunk everywhere and cases of blindness unfortunately occur. There is an even more dangerous variant in the Isaan: Meew Dam, black cat. That will make your stomach sag if you don't burn a hole in it. Unfortunately, the hassebassie of the poorest sometimes leads to death.
Lieven
I enjoyed your humorous writing style.
The misery this drink brings is repulsive. In the Isaan people literally drop dead in droves. Early in the morning we often see some users stretched out on the street.
Every person with some common sense wonders why a hard drug like this is just on the shelves while you can (still) count on a lot of misery for a ball of weed.
And yet there is no fundamental difference with other drunken drinks such as vodka, gin, jenever, whiskey and rum. You shouldn't drink it pure (maybe with the exception of special whiskies, although no one tells me that they only drink it for the taste), but it is doable in a cocktail or long drink.
A fun quiz question for weddings and parties: what is the most drunk drink worldwide? Not whisky, not vodka, not rum, but the Brazilian cachaça. And what applies to all these drinks: illegally distilled = dangerous.