You experience everything in Thailand (10)

Blog reader Frank Kramer mused about “his” village life near Chiang Mai and wrote down his thoughts and memories. This is his beautiful story, which ends in a melancholy way.

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Musings on my village life in Chiang Mai

Years ago I ended up living alone in a rented house reserved by her, which was conceived to spend 4 months with this loved one, due to a relationship gone wrong in Thai way. The love story or rather the premature end of it (I knew her 2 weeks from a previous trip) hurt me, but it has given me a lot of beauty.

A small group of houses in the very spacious and beautiful garden of a very nice 'well to do' Thai family, where I stayed for 5 months then and in the following 4 years. A small old-fashioned village, close to Chiang Mai, gave me a warm place in this community. I am a striking appearance with 1.96 height and 140 kilos and living there as a single man, I was also food for the village gossip. The few other Farangs there are not making themselves popular.

My exceptionally sweet and caring landlady involved me in the affairs of the village. For example, within 3 weeks there was a big party in the temple, 150 meters from our garden. I was whisked along, pointed out by the beautiful eldest daughter that wearing something white was not obligatory, but it was appropriate. I now saw for the first time how such a community functions. The atmosphere, the crowds, all the dishes. Rich and poor.

Between me and the temple there is the primary school and soon many of those children knew me. They called my name and then they tried to practice their English with me. And I taught them some non-verbal jokes such as whistling on the fingers, etc. I saw many familiar faces at that party and I saw that the kids of the two highest classes of primary school were busy with their task of cleaning up and, very modern, separate and dispose of garbage. Now I have a catering experience from a long time ago and am used to getting things done, so soon I was walking with a group of school children, skilfully and quickly clearing tables and cleaning things up.

The elders of the village first preferred me to sit on a real chair next to them on stage. After all, I was still an almost unknown guest and around 60. But then my efforts were apparently very much appreciated. People started asking questions to my landlady, who told me that I turned out to be a good babysitter for her difficult granddaughter within a week. I saw people gossip about me in passing. And so I soon couldn't go wrong in the village anymore. Apparently I had scored points. Even at the weekly market there were some ladies who are always busy in the temple, who always introduced me to other ladies who did not know me yet. And always that I was very bothered by Jai Dee, the good heart.

Now, from a Dutch perspective, I think my modest effort and contribution is no more than normal, but the reward has given me a lot all these years. Almost everyone greets me when I cycle through the village. Neighbors often give me fruit from their own garden on my morning walk. Some really old berries, whom I sometimes sit next to in the village square in the shade of the Bodhi tree, sometimes hold my hand affectionately and play with the hairs on my arm. To then talk about me with the other ladies, I don't understand a word of it. And the oldest resident of the village, a lady in her 100s, a real character, someone young people go to for advice. A lady with a lot of humor, when I was formally introduced to her, had her great-granddaughter come from miles away to translate.

She more or less had this to say; I have been married 3 times and also had 2 lovers, all dead. Still, you don't have to flirt with me like that, I don't blush anymore, because I don't start it anymore. I'd rather you do your best with my great-granddaughter. It will be good for you. The sweetest great-granddaughter didn't know where to look for shame, while she had to translate. But to this day, I can call her to possibly translate or mediate something.

One of the wonderfully nice people there, a neighbor across the street and a real friend, Som, has a small simple shop. Varieties of rice, pet food, eggs. And in the morning, before school, the schoolchildren can buy instant noodles there for 5 or 10 baths, or something with eggs fried in a wok with rice à la minute. It's nice that Som lets them prepare it themselves, that's how they learn, but there have also been some nice fantasy preparations. Like two eggs together, half omelette and half fried egg. Children find that fascinating, especially the boys, because the girls learn to cook at home and they often don't.

Som is a true Buddhist, a sweetheart with a huge warm heart for all people. When it's her birthday, a sign on the street side the day before states that everyone can eat and/or shop for free on her birthday. “I'll treat you!” Som says. Something that is not used in Thailand as far as I know. There is a bucket for gifts from adults for a good cause, a hospital in Cambodia. On those birthdays I am there in time to help out, because the entire primary school comes to have breakfast for free, including most of the teachers. The problem is that school starts an hour late. 68 x Mama noodles, 34 portions of fried eggs with rice and 5 cheese sandwiches went out the door. After an hour of tidying up, I get coffee. Then the group with 8 female street cleaners from Cambodia stopped by, also had a free breakfast. No idea what the sum costs, but it makes her very happy and she proudly said that she had collected 770 baht for that hospital. Then I did something about it.

I was lucky there in that village. A close-knit community, people who have lived there for a long time. It is also striking that the few, clearly wealthy families, often modestly participate in all kinds of activities. If I ever tell something about it in the Netherlands, I often hear in response that they are all after my money, but unfortunately for the pessimistic viewers, never noticed anything.
And in this moment of crisis and limitations I am very sad, especially as I write this, I won't be able to be there for a while. I miss 'my village', my friends and Thailand.