Isan experiences (7)

Joint gardening, and behold, the cultural difference emerges once again. The Inquisitor as usual: shorts, short-sleeved shirt and slippers. The sweetly packed like a nomad: long oversized black sweatpants, a kind of under-shirt that tucks into the pants and on top of that a closable blue checkered shirt with long sleeves, closed footwear. As a finishing touch, a yellow T-shirt is conveniently wrapped around the head, leaving only the eyes and nose free.
Does it need to be said that she wears gloves and The Inquisitor does not?

The strange Thai/Isan school system made it possible for us to work together, the big holiday was only three weeks over and hoopla! School closed for two weeks. So stepdaughter could observe the shop, the sweet insisted on doing some sort of catch-up movement in the garden, she thinks De Inquisitor prunes too sparingly.
The Inquisitor who has always been in charge all his life must now follow her instructions. Every remark on his part is half jokingly silenced, but she does get her point home.
First, a tree must be uprooted. He thinks it's too dangerous, he should just fall over and cause damage. Well, not the least job, of course, because in the eyes of De Inquisitor it is a mastodon. About eight meters high, the trunk has a diameter of about forty centimeters. If he is obliged to crawl into it, remove the high branches first. Not three minutes later, De Inquisitor is already out of the tree. It is full of insects, especially ants, but also with a kind of yellow caterpillar that has a terrible effect on your skin.

No problem, the roles are reversed. Love in the tree. Unbelievable, thinks De Inquisitor, one day a sexy lady, neatly made up and with nice clothes, the next day a real Isan who does not shy away from hard work. Little by little, the tree is dismantled until only the trunk remains. And there is brother-dear, suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He wants the thicker wood to burn charcoal.
OK, but then you just have to saw the trunk and remove all the prunings is The Inquisitor's response. For a moment, the man seeks support from his sister, but she has become just as unrelenting – only the sun rises for nothing.

The heat is unbearable at work, the sun is burning fiercely, high humidity at thirty-five plus. The sweat is pouring off, The Inquisitor's shirt is soaking wet, while sweetheart only has to deal with a few drops of sweat on her nose….
Yet he does not have the heart to treat himself like this, he stubbornly continues to work in summer clothes.
Because the hedges need to be pruned. About one hundred and thirty running meters, The Inquisitor has let it grow nicely to a height of three meters and sweetheart wants to shorten them too. Another impossible task, even with the electric scissors. Because it can only be used with the thinner branches, the thick wood that goes up must be cut manually. But sweetheart is getting into shape, she does the handiwork, The Inquisitor is ordered to carry away the trimmings. Endless rides with the wheelbarrow because in the end it is about ten cubic meters of waste, to be dumped five hundred meters further. After it dries out, it will set on fire, near the watering hole and far enough from home and her brother's cattle shed.

Only around three o'clock in the afternoon is it willing to stop. The Inquisitor is overheated despite the amount of water he drank, his arms and legs ache. Love it? Nothing to worry about, she feels good, proposes to continue working after five o'clock, but De Inquisitor is not there for that. A good meal, a wonderful shower and a nice massage is all he wants today.

It continues the next day. And of course it is The Inquisitor who has forgotten the bee's nest. Nice electric pruning sides and suddenly a massive raid of stinging animals. He has to flee, the dear bursting into laughter. Just remove that nest, she summons. Not a hair on the head of The Inquisitor who thinks about that. And yes, she does. Snip, snip and she's holding a flan with honey. The bees don't seem to bother her and she is very happy with the honey that is immediately consumed. The remaining critters disappear quite quickly, The Inquisitor hopes that this time they will make a new nest far away.

Once the hedges are done, she decides to prune the mango trees. Excuse me? In full summer, while there are fruits on it? Dear darling, we only prune in the fall, when the growth is gone. Mai pen rai, they will continue to grow is her position. The Inquisitor can assure you, such a mango tree is full of ants. Who crawl on your body without hesitation, give small bites that are not painful but annoying. Not a branch, not a leaf, or there are ants on it. And the pruned wood must also be removed, that is the order that De Inquisitor received from his new boss. Each wheelbarrow ride ends with taking off the T-shirt to shake out the ants. As the crowning glory of the work, the fruits of the love must be wrapped. Provide each mango separately with a transparent plastic bag. No visibility at all, ridiculous actually, but now no insects could handle it and therefore more beautiful fruits.

No clouds to be seen this whole day, only a merciless sun. Warm, oh so warm. The Inquisitor is smarter today, shortly after noon he reports that it is overheated. And may he stop, immediately cool off for half an hour under a lukewarm shower, yes, lukewarm, even an order: cold water is now not very good.

The morning of day three, all the joints of the farang creak, but the Isan lady is merciless. Continue, now I can cooperate, otherwise you will have to work alone again. The Inquisitor curses the school now, but keeps his mouth shut. Because he actually prefers to do the garden work alone, at his own pace and according to his own insight. Love has cut the hedges so short that you can look over them, the feeling of privacy is gone. You can also see through it in many places, he hopes that everything will close up again soon.
He doesn't like the next job that sweetheart has in mind at all. She wants to shovel soil in the rice fields that have not yet been planted. To refresh the countless planters, for her herbs, her flowers. Why does The Inquisitor think, you can buy a sack of topsoil for twenty baht, he has already brought thirty.
Is too expensive tee rak, and not necessary, I'm going to mix that. But he really doesn't like that, the nearby fields are still dry, that will be cutting the earth loose first, too hard a job.
The Inquisitor then quickly responds: okay, you do it, I'll mow the lawn. Not a small job given the surface area, but he can do it undisturbed … .

And so it goes, because sweetie-sweet has found two new hobbies, which she thinks could be lucrative for the shop. Crab and shrimp farming. They are now in large circular cement tanks. There in some red soil, stones, shelters. And behold, there are already descendants, many in fact. But that requires a lot of work, the tanks that contain the crabs must be cleaned daily and given fresh water, otherwise it smells terribly.
The Inquisitor already sensed it coming, and yes, today comes the question. Can't you build low ponds like for your fish? She has already thought it all out, knows where she wants it, how big, how deep, ... . Oh dear.

All the time we were working, the large gate was exceptionally open, the dogs sat stoically in their pen watching our activities. And every villager who came to the shop took advantage of it to take a look at the farang garden. Because since the fence has been there, that is no longer possible. Comments, of course.
First about the work itself. Why? Should you do otherwise. Ha that farang also works. Ha de farang suffers from the heat.
Then about the garden. The grass – something they don't cultivate. Put a cow on it! The brick pond. Phew, all that hassle of filters, why? Those fish also survive without it.

The ornamental plants, well, you can't eat that! Flowers everywhere, without weeds in between, who pays attention to that?
All nice really, just a difference in opinion, culture. The general opinion is that it is a 'rich people's garden'. While The Inquisitor does not cut the grass, does not cut in the weeds. In short, in the Low Countries it would rather be a messy garden … .

The Inquisitor is exhausted. The sun and heat were debilitating, in addition, his neck was burned. Muscle aches everywhere, legs that barely respond to the brain impulses. And he announces that he wants to take a few days off. No yard work, actually — no work. That is the privilege of a farang in Thailand, he thinks.

But he is also a happy man. The physical recovery has already started after a good night's sleep, he already feels better. And working together is fun. Leaving decisions to someone else for the first time in his life, no problem. And proud of it sweet. Because she too knows nature inside and out, she has not forgotten everything she learned in her youth. Moreover, she is such a chameleon that we will have a great time in hedonistic Pattaya in about three weeks.

Both smartly dressed, have breakfast in chic hotels, lunch in fancy establishments, exquisite dinners in first-class restaurants. And what go "farang-watching" in the bars, what view in Walking Street.
Are we tourists instead of Isan peasants. Can we too.