The Serpents of Isan

Deep in Isan, in the middle of the Udon Thani – Nong Khai – Sakun Nakhon triangle, lies an ancient hamlet, Nong Feak. The residence of The Inquisitor for six years after a nine-year stay near Pattaya, in Nongprue. He also had to deal with it over there against the coast, but much more here. Creature serpents, hard to tell if they are female or male despite their often colorful appearance.

Those who opened this blog hoping to get another nice and juicy story about problems with people are wrong. This blog was written in response to a reposted message from Tino Kuis. Snakes.

As a Lage Lander bij Zee, near Antwerp, De Inquisitor knew nothing about these beasts. Only saw them at the zoo or on television. And even then she found little adorable. Possibly Catholic education in Flanders is guilty of that, you know, Eve and her sin. Or was it Adam? Anyway, snakes were not in his life and he didn't mind at all.

In his early thirties he started to see something of the world, no, not some European holiday destination, De Inquisitor was looking for some adventure. South America, mainly Ecuador. Beautiful country, beautiful nature but hardly any snakes. They are there, but you don't get to deal with them, not even on a trek through a piece of Amazon jungle by boat. Insects galore, some monkeys, a rare crocodile, and a whole bunch of insects in all colors and sizes. Not a snake to be seen after three long stays in that beautiful country where De Inquisitor wanted to move to until he discovered Thailand in the early nineties. The first thing he saw in Bangkok was a newspaper, the Bangkok Post, with a picture on the front page of a bunch of people holding a huge snake. Trapped somewhere in that urban metropolis. From a toilet. It took a few days for De Inquisitor to stop checking the toilet before using it… .

Discovering Thailand for only two years was enough and De Inquisitor bought a house in Nongprue, at the time a blissfully quiet town about five kilometers from the hedonistic Pattaya. The Darkside was still quite rural at the time and behold, the first snakes appeared 'live' in his life. Nice pictures for the home front and the animals were quickly removed by the Thai neighbors. Nine years later he moved to his current residence in Isaan and snakes would become part of his life.

Here, in the middle of fields and forests, just a small village center about two kilometers from the house, there are weekly 'close encounters' with those bitches. Although there are more than enough prey in the wild, they continue to slither towards the garden and house. No idea why they do it, there are no chickens in the garden, just three dogs and two cats. And the dogs do discover the snakes and start attacking them. Furious barking, threatening, retreating, they are cautious. And keep it up until The Inquisitor comes to assist them, well, frankly, kill them.

Because De Inquisitor doesn't care about those stories of 'most of them are harmless'. Or "you have to see first if they are poisonous or not". Do that while the bitch follows your every move, ready to strike. No, The Inquisitor wants to be first. All too often people have been bitten here and are still dealing with the consequences. And yes, here is a kind of 'clinic' where they can treat bites, but often they just don't have the necessary antiserum in stock. Do you immediately need more than an hour to reach a better equipped hospital … .

Close encounters galore and De Inquisitor has gotten better at it along the way. Usually anyway.

But in the beginning it was terrifying because totally inexperienced in this matter. Explore the area, cultivated rice fields, there are often small huts to take a breather and cool down. Well, you have to check first. Because beloved hideout for snakes, The Inquisitor once sat completely paralyzed, watching a serpent discovered too late until it disappeared. She hung above his head in the rafters.

Walking through the rice fields, sometimes through the water. And hoopla, snakes! And nowhere to be found a stick.

Into the woods, wonderful nature full of wild orchids and other beauty. Yet sated with… serpents. Which - as a Westerner - you hardly see, how often has De Inquisitor escaped a, euphemistically put, “defensive attack” by such a beast?

Just the same at home. Nice pleasant gardening is seriously disturbed by a snake that found shelter under that pile of wood you put there the day before yesterday. They like to make nests in the drains until one day you see several young snakes, barely eight inches long but just as venomous as an adult.

One morning, as always around six o'clock, The Inquisitor steps out onto the terrace. Cup of coffee in hand, ready to enjoy the sunrise. And there she suddenly comes right into attack position, a snake. Reddish brown, heavy throat pouch and extremely aggressive. Half asleep, The Inquisitor can just retreat, but the serpent comes after him. Calling it sweet in a panic who doesn't like it either. A stick does not help, the beast attacks itself. So enlist the help of passers-by who go to work, otherwise De Inquisitor would never have gotten rid of it.

Pruning trees and shrubs, gardening or other outdoor work: there is a constant danger of a snake.

The Inquisitor gradually got used to it, the panic is gone. Yes, usually a caught snake looks for a way out. And yes, The Inquisitor no longer begins to walk dreamily, now watch where he steps, check the trees under which he has to pass. And The Inquisitor has become man enough to kill them himself, at an average of four a month. He is even starting to recognize some species. Cobras are the easiest, also the most common here. But also regular vipers and strange but true: lately regular kraits, very poisonous. But the rest of these twisted beasts don't recognize The Inquisitor and he really doesn't intend to bother with them.

And then Tino's blog appears. Good story but not the opinion of De Inquisitor. Because coincidentally, two hours before reading Tino's blog, De Inquisitor's dog was attacked by a spitting cobra. The male sought shade at the side of the shop and lay down in the sand. Where the cobra lay, almost invisible. Both were shocked by each other, but the dog was too late. The cobra straightened up and spit venom right into its eye. The dog has probably lost his sight on the right side. The cobra was so aggressive that The Inquisitor had to call in help to kill it.

Snakes are dirty, dangerous serpents. Dangerous for humans and animals. There are kids running around here. Your pets. And The Inquisitor will continue to mercilessly kill them whenever they come into his territory. Certainly now, after that incident with the dog. And he will find out afterwards whether or not she was poisonous.

Sorry Tino.