Living in Thailand makes you a different person
Let me state first that this is not a hymn of praise for Thailand, nor a lamentation for the Netherlands. I am just claiming that once you have decided to live in Thailand your life will change and with it your personality.
For me, the difference between living in both countries is not in material things, although that also plays a role. Yes, in Thailand the weather conditions are generally better. Food and drinks may be cheaper as are furniture, clothes, houses and what not. I don't want to talk about that at all, I'm talking about purely emotional changes in your life.
I will tell you how I came upon this subject. I read an article by an English young woman who accepted an offer from her employer to be transferred to Bangkok. In that article she explains how her move has influenced how she looks at life. You can read the story for yourself here: hellogigles.com/how-moving-abroad-has-changed-the-way-i-see-things
She describes in an interesting way the 5 most important aspects in her experience. A big difference between her and me is that she works and I'm retired. Moreover, I am a lot older and therefore have more life and travel experience than her, but I could very well agree with parts of her argumentation. I am going to mention those aspects and then present my view.
Patience
I have worked very long and hard in my life, but have never been a true workaholic. Tomorrow is another day was my motto, there are other things in life just as important if not more important. Yet I saw around me in the Netherlands that many are in a hurry. There is work to be done, better done today than tomorrow. So a hectic life and that will pass in this tropical country, if only because of the temperatures. That takes some getting used to and with that comes the need to be patient and build up patience. We can get excited about something that does not happen the way we want, in Thai society this is often handled very laconically.
Trust
When you leave your home country, you leave a lot behind, such as family, friends, acquaintances, your favorite restaurant or café, your club or association life, in short, you face an uncertain future. I had faith that it would work and it did. New house, a nice family, new hobbies (including writing for this blog) and slowly but surely you will feel at home in a country far away from where you have lived all your life.
Adventure
Moving to Thailand also requires a good sense of adventure. Different people, different living conditions, different nature, in short, everything is different. Life in the Netherlands went neatly according to a certain pattern. That pattern is also present in Thailand, but if you compare it, it is completely different. I cite eating habits as an example. The Thai eats when he is hungry and we used to eat at certain more or less fixed times. Thai food is completely different from what we were used to and there is an adventure in that too.
Communication
Communication with the Netherlands has diminished significantly over the years. Many friends and acquaintances eventually failed, they have their own lives and concerns. I fully understand that.
The big difference here in Thailand is that you can communicate but you usually have to do so in a foreign language, be it Thai or English. However you look at it, deeper conversations are best done in your native language, so you just have to accept that too.
Think positive
When I became a widower I ended up in a black period. With the move to Thailand, the sun has literally and figuratively started to shine again. In the meantime I have been back to the Netherlands a few times and only heard complaints about anything and everything. I don't have that problem here in Thailand. I started thinking differently, living carefree with pleasure. In short, I have become a different person.
As the woman in the English article concludes: sometimes living in a country other than your home country is the best gift you can give yourself!
Hello Gringo,
You are who you are and you do what you do. I have been living here for a while and will never go back to the Netherlands. After all, I gave that up by emigrating after a well-thought-out decision. And when you have done that you just have to accept and experience the everyday things that come to you. And don't complain. Just enjoy and occasionally a trip. And sometimes let some people in my wealth, and that's not just Bahts, share and gather and transfer knowledge. That makes sense. Regards, Bob
Hello Gringo,
I agree with you on many things, but not everything.
PATIENCE:
Neither of us were really workaholics, but what had to be done happened because we were obliged to live with an agenda (car company), especially time was an important factor in this.
Many times it was impossible to smuggle in, which sometimes caused frustrations. (NOW I use a neat expression, partly depending on the type of customer, but my husband wouldn't let me peel it thin)
HERE IN THAILAND:
Making an appointment on time, with any company, is utopia.
eg: appointment made at 13.00 hrs. Very normal when the bell rings at 09.00 hrs, but this is less than that we have to call to see if they still plan to come by.
In the beginning I need a pill under my tongue, but now we just say: "We'll see when they come"
TRUST THAT IT IS GOING WELL IN THAILAND.
Quite frankly, we never thought about it for a second.
We have always both had an attitude of living somewhere else.
That in this case it is called immigration, well…
And it went really fast for us.
Would like to go to Thailand in due course.
So come back from Thailand, another car dealer comes to us if we wanted to sell the brand, premises, staff, in short, the whole bunch.
Long story short.
Within 10 days (we needed them to capture everything) we had booked a trip to Thailand to look for a house.
We never stopped for a moment to see if we could hold out here.
ADVENTURE:
Like I said, we moved.
We don't have a pattern like in the Netherlands.
It is of course also very different if you leave the business world, can throw your agenda in the fireplace and have time to yourself, this is also much more flexible to accept when you are our age.
Great to make an Asian snack for breakfast and it needs to simmer a little longer, well, then I'll have a cup of tea in between.
Although I should mention that a calendar is indeed necessary, only in this case a social calendar.
COMMUNICATION:
Most of the acquaintances fall off, but we keep in touch with the real friends, including those from England.
Now I have the advantage that I speak and write in English just as easily. (ok, just a few feathers) so that's no problem at all.
Today we had someone over who spoke Thai so fluently. YUCK!!!
I can really envy that now.
But we have both given up hope.
THINK POSITIVE:
Yes Gringo, I think for you, after the death of your wife, emigrating
really made a big change.
My change of scenery after your Trieste experience has, I think, been a very positive boost for you.
Look, memories will always be there. but you're doing very different things here.
And yes, in the Netherlands has a lot of comments on own country.
And then I really don't talk about the weather.
But we haven't really changed.
I did become really lazy and it must have taken about 7 years that I was no longer standing next to my bed at 06.00-06.30 hrs.
disgusting.
But those are really the only changes.
And that English woman, who started working/living in Bangkok at the age of 27.
It's wonderful when that opportunity is offered and you as a person are able to take that step.
LOUISE
:
Beautifully written and realistic piece!
Thank you, we (family 4 children) have plans to move to Thailand…
Regards,
Mike
You write that when you came back to the Netherlands a few times you heard a lot of complaints, but that may be the case, but my experience is that when I meet Dutch people in Thailand, most also complain about anything and everything, not only about the Netherlands, but also about Thailand.
In itself it is no problem to meet a fellow countryman, but it is sufficient reason to avoid as much as possible occasions where many Dutch people come together.
Yes, it is strange that once you go to live in Thailand and then think you will meet nice Dutch and Belgian fellow countrymen, it is very strange that they are actually only interested in themselves and that true friendship is hard to find in Thailand…
Yes that changes your character because once having a fairly large group of friends here, now results in a very small circle of friends that you can count on one hand.
So your character changes from a spontaneous figure to a cautious one when dealing with other compatriots…
It turns out that your Thai family are the only real friends…
They can't understand you and you can't understand them.. 555
That is a huge advantage, because your compatriots can understand you and it soon turns out that behind your back there is a lot of chatter about you by Dutch/Belgian associations and in the end you have seen it with these kinds of people who actually only are interested in what position you used to have in society and if that is not at the same high level from which they come (???), then they completely ignore you and gossip about you…
Among the Thai women there is also nice gossip and they outdo each other how much they get from their farang….
These experiences do indeed change your character and you then start living a nice quiet life and try to enjoy the things around you every day without these kinds of farangs in Thailand 555
Both countries, the Netherlands (or Flanders) and Thailand, cannot be compared at all, so living in Thailand will obviously influence your personality.
I think those changes in your personality and your life vary a lot from person to person.
Why does someone go to live in Thailand?
How flexible are you?
Are you open to changes?
What do you want to do every day, unless you are working of course?
How do you view life?
Are you a positive or negative person?
...
I would like to add the following comment: I am a daily reader of this blog and although I don't have an ounce of jealousy in my body, I am often secretly jealous of all the people on this blog who live in Thailand.
When I sometimes read the negative and sour comments about the country and its inhabitants, I find it difficult to follow.
Being critical is very good, but when I read some comments I wonder why people continue to live in Thailand or in a country other than their home country?
I think that if I could live in Thailand, I would become calmer, live healthier, lead a more social life, and be less sour about our (Multi)cultural society than I am now.
Been in Thailand for about 30 years… from 7 weeks to three months a year.
Thailand is good for wintering, but I prefer to live and work in the Netherlands.
I also had the idea to live in Thailand in due course. But others may do that for me…
sometimes living in a country other than your home country is the best gift you can give yourself!
Completely true.
Response from a very happy person.
KhunBram in the Isan.
I also complain a lot , but that has always been my nature .
But after reading and seeing the news every day, including on TV or via the internet, from both countries.
Then I think every night it's the same everywhere.
Just take corruption as an example , who is number 1 Thailand or Holland .
I also prefer to avoid foreigners, so also Dutch people who live here.
Usually it's always about the old song.
I am quite happy here , have a rather large plot and many hobbies .
And therefore a lot to do myself , together with my Thai wife .
So for me the days and weeks here fly by like a fast train.
I don't have time to think back to years gone by in the Netherlands.
After all, they will never come back, because the Netherlands is no longer the Netherlands of my youth and memories.
If you come back on a regular basis, you will certainly get a cold shower.
Jan Beute.
An emigration will certainly ensure that you look at life differently. But I think that applies to any major change in life.
As you get older you (most people, at least) get more life experience, which changes your view of life and the world anyway and your way of life will change as a result. Only if you stay in your country of birth it will be a less drastic turn of events than if you emigrate because you also have to deal with the values and norms of the country where you live.
There is certainly a great deal of truth in Gringo, but my compatriots can also complain about anything and everything here. Holland at its narrowest. For me it's about the pluses and the minuses, and I find most of the pluses here, even though it's getting less and less fun with unnecessary regulations and backward bank and immigration measures where friends of mine couldn't even open a bank account in Pattaya anymore, because they stayed in a hotel. Ten years ago it was much better to stay than now, but remain a Thailand fan. Looked all over Asia and lived in 14 countries for a short time and longer, I still find the most pluses here. Homesickness is certainly not an issue with those terrible temperatures, and I can get everything from herring to mackerel here. But especially the freedom of life, with few rules and the climate appeal to me the most.
I can certainly imagine, will also take the step in September and see it not 100 but 200%, the quieter life and temperatures and the country in itself only made the step easier
You've said it beautifully Gringo!
See you again at the end of August. Looking forward to it again.
gr, R .
Dear Grongo and readers (and writers) of this blog.
The best of the Netherlands and Thailand is united for me in Spain. That has been my home country for eleven years, together with my Thai wife (and our daughter) for more than four years.
We live on the Costa Blanca. Why?
The climate is neither too hot (Thailand) nor too cold (Netherlands).
Most sunny days in Europe and Thailand.
The air is pure without pollution (declared by the WHO as the best living environment in Europe).
Short distance and travel time between the Netherlands and Spain.
Almost everything that is for sale in the Netherlands and Thailand in terms of food is also for sale in Spain.
Prices in Spain are a fraction lower than in the Netherlands.
Prices of local foods as cheap as in Thailand.
Prices of clothing are not inferior to Thailand.
Car prices are lower than in the Netherlands and Thailand.
The price of petrol is approximately the average of the price in the Netherlands and Thailand.
I can go on like this for a while.
My wife, accustomed to the high Thai temperatures and not used to the low Dutch temperatures, also finds Spain excellent. The only downside is that she misses her family in Thailand (but that has nothing to do with the country itself, of course). That is somewhat compensated with daily video calls and wintering in Thailand.
Our daughter will be going to an international school in Spain in about a year. She is already learning mother and father tongue and soon also English and Spanish. She becomes a true citizen of the world. I think I chose the best of both countries (the Netherlands and Thailand).
And yes, I too have had to adapt to the people and society of another country. Another country where the population lived isolated from the rest of Europe for centuries. But also lived for years under a dictatorship after a brutal civil war, where the scars can be seen to this day and the population still bears the consequences. Think of the contrasts between the red and yellow shirts in Thailand. Mass graves from the civil war are still being found, but most people who go on holiday to Spain miss this. Most people have no clue about that.
There are also similarities between Thailand and Spain. Take the corruption, which is less in Spain than in Thailand, but where the gray circuit still accounts for about 20 to 25 percent of the total economy. But we are now working hard to reduce that, and with success. This did not require a military coup, but can be achieved through a full-fledged democracy. Prayut could take an example from that, instead of like-minded governments such as China and Russia.
The biggest difference is the mentality of the people in all three countries. In the Netherlands you are often left to your own devices. The IK culture. In Thailand you have to be careful not to be lifted. Most Spaniards are very helpful without self interest. That makes Spain my favorite country to live.
This is not intended as a hymn to Spain. I want to indicate that Thailand is not only Valhalla. This is also evident from the many critical notes from many ThailandBlog readers. Moreover, you have to “make” it yourself in the country you are moving to. It will be easier to Spain than to Thailand. Free movement of goods and persons. No customs. No visa requirement (for EU nationals). Easy return if desired. To all those who have plans to move for good, think before you leap and don't burn all the ships behind you.
Frans Nico @ totally agree with your story, that's why we have a beautiful house in Munich, where my wife also feels very much at home. We have a large balcony, and no garden that is connected with a lot of work and maintenance. We close the door behind us, the heating on the savings flame, no worries about garden maintenance, etc., and the airport can be reached in 35 minutes by public transport, where Thailand and the rest of the world are at my feet. We winter in Thailand every year to visit my wife's family, but to now burn all ships behind us and move to Thailand for good, brings too many disadvantages for both of us. We are in the summer by car, not far from the Austrian border, and Italy can also be reached in 3 hours. In Munich we are well insured, beautiful beer garden, and further cultural offers, which we can only dream of in the village in Thailand. Each country has its own charm and advantages, but why commit to (a) country, where I have to disappear every 90 days for my visa, and I am not at all sure how things will continue politically.
Nice refreshing post, but still a personal correction as far as I'm concerned:
You will not be lifted more or less in Thailand than in Spain + the Thai population is also very helpful!
For the rest I follow you completely.
Yes, moving to Thailand or any other country gives you the opportunity to change your living conditions and maybe bring new values into your life.
You can start with a clean list so to speak and build new memories or just live from day to day.
I have quite a bit of contact with former acquaintances and friends, but after the last time, I don't really want it anymore. Maybe I'm being confronted with the facts too much or too many old things are coming back that I don't really want. Yes, the feeling of that old life is coming back and I don't want that anymore.
Now that I live here with my girlfriend, I want to keep it that way. I just want to get to know people who do something with themselves. Building a life with the possibilities they have here. I'm not interested in people who are done with everything and who only complain about their meager pensions, the greedy in-laws and the cheating dealers they encounter everywhere.
People who say in advance that something is not possible, difficult or even impossible, can stay far away from me. People who keep their hand open to me, without doing anything noteworthy, are also allowed to leave.
Through my work, I traveled to many places in the world. The Netherlands was always an emergency stop for me. I had to have a place where I had my stuff and where my "home port" was. But I never liked it. Asia was my dream from my childhood and I started traveling to Asia from the age of 20. In the beginning Indonesia was my “dream country” (I think Indonesian is a very nice and easy language), it eventually became Thailand – partly because of my girlfriend and also because of the Buddhist way of life. This was confirmed again when I was in Bali two weeks ago… lovely people there, but way too busy.
And unlike the Netherlands, I have the feeling that here in Thailand I need almost nothing to live a nice life…..
Emigrating is building a life in another country, in Thailand it is still rather living for the majority with money that is sent from the home country.
Since you cannot emigrate to Thaialnd unless you are 50 years or older and do not qualify for a work permit (there are exceptions), it is the elderly who move. And if you are away from home for longer than 6 months (for health insurance) and 9 months (for the Municipalities Act) you will be forced to emigrate. And then you also need permission from the tax authorities to stop paying tax in the Netherlands. Usually this is about your own accrued pension, because the AOW is not included. If you don't, you can pay but not enjoy, especially the health insurance.
So in the latter happyelvis is right. First earn in the Netherlands and then relax in Thailand, while enjoying.